17 de dezembro de 2014

Notes on Rivas’ “Positive Memories.”

Filed under: Livros, Passatempos, Saúde e bem-estar — Tags:, , — Yurinho @ 01:30

“Positive Memories: cases of erotic and platonic relationships and contacts of children with adults, as seen from the perspective of the former minor” was written by Rivas. Below are some notes I made about his text.

  1. “Ipce” is a fórum of scholars, doctorate or not, interested in understanding relationships, specially sexual, between adults and children or adolescents.
  2. The author contacted Ipce in order to publish his book through that fórum. What is the book about, besides the obvious? About positive relationships. Here comes polemics.
  3. The current consensus is that pedophilia is immoral.
  4. However, scientific evidence shows that relationships between adults and minors don’t necessarely result in damage and, because of that, the consensus can be challenged. Positive relationships shouldn’t be grouped with forced or harmful relationships.
  5. The moral panic towards pedophilia makes people find outraging to chat about positive relationships. That exposes that the current discussions on pedophilia rarely are impartial.

  6. But this book, simply, brings 155 accounts found on medical literature, magazines and Internet about positive encounters between adults and minors. Considering that about ¾ of those relationships are never found out, the number of positive relationships may be considerably higher, specially because there’s no reason to report them. Despite this being a book I will likely enjoy reading, I must point that online accounts aren’t very reliable. I hope this book doesn’t have a lot of them…
  7. Because the consensus that pedophilia is bad took moral panic proportions, people prefer to forget that those positive relationships do happen.
  8. Dang, there’s references! List of other things to read.
  9. The author wasn’t the first to do that kind of work and probably wasn’t the last. I know others, that’s true, but this one is the biggest.
  10. Pedophiles aren’t all men. There are women too. And they aren’t always heterosexual. There are encounters between man and boy, man and girl, woman and boy, woman and girl.
  11. The book brings a small number of accounts in which there’s an erotic element, but not a romantic one. Also, there’s a small number of accounts in which there’s romantic element, but not erotic, meaning that pedophiles may crush on children and still not do anything sexual to them. But most of the accounts have both elements.
  12. The author points that relationships in which the erotic element is absent are rare in professional literature and that he doesn’t know how to interpret that fact. My guess is that people in general think that pedophilia is a solely sexual attraction, a fetish, which reveals research bias. In addition, you can never be sure if an adult who falls in love with you when you are a kid really is a pedophile or just a nice guy, specially because he doesn’t have to vocalize the feelings. That’s a problem that is only starting to be remedied now.
  13. The existence of positive relationships imply that power imbalance isn’t a necessary element.

  14. Minors may want those involvements.

  15. The book’s target audience is the general public. Audacious play. But he is also taking aim at anti-contact pedophiles.
  16. The book’s thesis: relationships between adults and minors must be judged according to individual merit, rather than being all illegal. If we owe credit to the work of others, that is, that most of the relationships between adults and minors do not harm the minor, só much that they aren’t reported, the application of the thesis to legal level would reduce public expenses in cases of statutory “rape” without real violence. Keeping in mind that our prison system is a tragedy.
  17. It wasn’t any account that made it into the book. The author has his criteria:

    1. The relationship wasn’t coerced.

    2. The minor didn’t draw negative feelings from the relationship per se (even though they may have drawn negative feelings from medical or judicial intervention). If the minor is prepubescent, that implies non-penetrative involvement.

    3. The work is based on memories, which means that the children weren’t interviewed, but adults, who has those relationships in childhood or adolescence.

    4. The account may not refer to an event occured past age 15 and the adult in the relationship must be at least 18.

    5. The account may not include incest.

    6. The minor must not have, themselves, developed a relationship with a minor when they hit legal age.

    7. The minor must not have developed criminal sexual misconduct.

    8. The accounts must not include prostitution.

  18. Those relationships show three things: there are relationships between adults and minors that do not include pain or abuse of power, that an adult can fall in love with a minor and that positive relationships can occur even before the minor is twelve-years-old. I can already hear the crowd’s angered screams.
  19. The fact that positive relationships do exist doesn’t imply that child sexual abuse doesn’t exist.
  20. The courageous author gives us his e-mail.
  21. The book’s first account also appeared in the leftist site Salon.
  22. Some teens, at age 15, are already planning to have sex at the first opportunity that appears. The first story is about a fifteen-year-old waiter and his 29-year-old boss.
  23. The relationship between them wasn’t just sexual and, as their feelings grew between each other, the minor learned things from the adult in other areas than sexuality, such as professional life.
  24. An adult who accepts a minor for what they are increase their self-confidence.
  25. Homosexual men may find out that they are homosexual by age eight. Someone told me that you can already know just by looking at the boy when he is three-years-old. See Prince George.
  26. Some minors who had relationships with adults says that those were the best relationships they had. Probably because the adult, if they reall fall in love and feel passionate about the minor, will give them a sensation of security and will pass them their knowledge. That doesn’t happen in relationships between adults. They lack the pedagogical aspect. In this case, I’m referring to the second account, between a 12-year-old boy and a 27-year-old man.
  27. The minor may fall in love with the adult before the opposite occurs.
  28. If the minor understand that he is putting the adult in danger, while he also loves the adult, he will keep secret. If he hated the adult, he would tell his parents.
  29. The minors who do not feel victimized have a feeling that society wants to remain blind.
  30. Relationships with minors are punished disporportionally.
  31. Some of those minors who had good relationships with adults become outraged after they grow up, because they notice that the relationships could have been longer if society wasn’t só… dumb.
  32. Those minors do not feel “molested”.
  33. Those involvements make the parents uncomfortable. But the parental discomfort towards those involvements frustrates the minor.
  34. Homosexuals have no right to hate pedophiles, because homosexuals also were a marginalized group forty years ago. Here, between us, the homosexual movement and the pedophile movement were, yes, almost the same thing before the eighties. The homosexual from then didn’t think it was unethical to be attracted to minors.
  35. Homosexuals oppressing minor-attracted people are a minority hating a smaller minority. They don’t listen, just like society did not listen to them. What’s that, if not hipocrisy?
  36. The homosexual who oppresses can not fight against oppression.
  37. A minor can feel much better around other adults, rather than around his parents.
  38. Explorations between two minors also occur.
  39. Sexual relationships do not necessarely involve penetration, specially if it’s with minors before puberty. Evidence shows that penetration is a common factor in negative relationships.
  40. Many times the minor is looking for something other than sexual pleasure, such as emotional support and tenderness.
  41. Even in those relationships that doesn’t have sexual pleasure as goal, such pleasure isn’t rejected if it occurs and may be welcome.
  42. There are crimes that aren’t punished, but not everything that is punishable should be crime.
  43. Early sexual experiences may be a reason for the minor to feel proud. That reminds me of my friends who lost their virginity among themselves at age thirteen or even ten. Those were wild times. And here I am, virgin at twenty-four.
  44. Small children, if left alone, may lose the virginity with each other… without even realizing it.
  45. Some relationships between minor and adult endure even after the minor becomes an adult.

  46. The child may make advances on an adult, even though the child themselves do not see the erotic value of those advances.
  47. Children do not oppose to adults they love. There’s a bigger chance of a child developing those relationships if they don’t feel loved by their parents.
  48. The child, upon realizing that what they are doing is forbidden (even without knowing the exact reason), won’t want to reveal anything due to fear of losing the friendship they have with the adult. That means that secrecy on the minor’s part doesn’t necessarely involve threats.
  49. An adult may wait until the child makes the first advance before feeling sure that they can advance as well.
  50. The sexual aspect of a relationship may be ended by the minor themselves. When they grow up, they become interested in others of their age.
  51. Homosexual inclinations can be an unique ocorrence in a person’s life. For example: you have a constant interest in women, but, at least in that only time, you felt attracted to a man. If we take in consideration that sexual orientation is a preference or exclusivity, can a ninety-year-old person who only fell attracted to their same gender once, for a short time span, be called homosexual or bisexual? Once in ninety years?
  52. Seduction can take years. Specially if you are younger than your beloved.
  53. Some teens who discover homosexual feelings as themselves if they look like homosexuals, as if a person’s sexuality necessarely reflected in their looks or actions. That occurs, sure, but not always.
  54. An adult who falls in love with a minor can still respect their sexual orientation and physical limits. If they are really a rapist, they wouldn’t care about it.
  55. A loving relationship can take form of friendship.
  56. A number of relationships between adult and minor are not traumatizing.
  57. If someone finds out, the consequences, however, can be traumatizing.
  58. Healthy sexual expression helps the person to develop with better emotional stability.

  59. In most relationships in which sexual expression occurs, it isn’t the main point, but an element like others, maybe less important than other demonstrations of affection.
  60. Some criminal reports are forced by parents.
  61. Usually, the minor isn’t listened in the trial of the adult whom he had the relationship with. The minor’s word, no matter how sincere it is, is trampled by presumption of violence (“you are too young, he manipulated you”).
  62. Some adults who had relationships with minors continue being friends with said minors despite the minors reaching adult age, even if those sexual contacts decrease in frequency. It’s not different from thom those who stay married despite both parties losing their attractive physical attributes.
  63. Even political orientation comes to play in seduction. “Are you leftist? What do you think of homosexuals?”
  64. A minor can willingly seduce an adult.
  65. Sexual interest can happen still in childhood, even though in the form of curiosity.
  66. Sincere relationships between adult and minor are frequently preceeded by months of friendship between the two.
  67. Some people find out very early that they like the older people.

  68. Some teens are more afraid of being homosexual than being involved with adults.
  69. The laws are unfair to the minors that they are supposed to protect.
  70. A minor may arrive at counseling with a neutral or positve experience and have it turned to negative after the therapist “interprets” what happened.
  71. In cases like those, the therapist doesn’t really listen to the minor.
  72. Some minors regret reporting.
  73. A confession may very well be forced.

  74. The social consequences of the act may be devastating to the minors socialization. He is stigmatized.
  75. The tragic effect caused by parental or societal reaction may have a grave impact over the minor’s sexual development.
  76. During the process, the minor is taken to disturbing and uncomfortable situations.
  77. Psychologists may leak the patient’s secrets if the patient is underage.
  78. The “help” and “protection” offered by authorities may be rejected by the minor. Like I thought, this is a highly controversial book.
  79. Society’s reaction can traumatize the minor, who may have not seen anything wrong in what happened.
  80. Minors mature at different speeds, some mature quicker (“early-bloomers”).
  81. Sexual education that only teaches sex and only it’s practice in normative form doesn’t inform the student in crucial questions. They still feel curious and want answers for some questions. If sexual education doesn’t give those answers, they will look for said answers elsewhere.
  82. The stigma related to homosexuality still exists and still harms minors who notice those feelings.
  83. Someone wrote that homosexuality can be noticed in a child while they are still an infant. Well, there’s a story in this book about a guy who noticed he “liked boys” at age seven.
  84. Your child may be no longer a virgin, it’s just that you don’t know.

  85. There’s only one way to acquire experience…
  86. It’s possible to be interested in sexual activity without having interest in a specific gender.

  87. Parents who had relationships while minors tend to be more tolerant when their children get in relationships while still minors.
  88. The sexual element may be present in friendships.
  89. Relationships like those, because it’s pedagogical element, may take the minor to leave harmful habits behind. That’s because a minor tends to listen to the adult whom he likes.
  90. Family unbalance makes up for deliquence. And what could be more delinquent than looking for an adult to have a sexual relationship with? Because of that, family environment makes it easier for adult-child relationships to occur, because a deliquent minor, looking for that kind of relationships, shows that he is coming from a negligent family.
  91. The problem with therapists, media and laymen is thinking that all adult-child relationships are negative. That’s not true. Statistical evidence shows that positive relationships occur as often as negative ones. Thus, both kinds of relationship should be taken in consideration. The lack of attention spent on positive relationships make us think (and I also thought like that) that they are too rare to be taken in consideration, perpetuating prejudice against them: if we think that they are rare, we won’t pay attention and will continue thinking they are rare.
  92. To ignore positive relationships is to distort reality.
  93. If there are both positive and negative relationships, we must think on what makes a relationship negative. From there, we can forbid those elements that turn a relationship into a negative one, rather than forbidding them all.
  94. The sexual element isn’t the only thing in an adult-child relationship.
  95. If a relationship like those increases the minor’s self-esteem, they can become more independent at a quicker pace.
  96. Damn, even Gavin Lambert is in this. In his biography, he says that he had a relationship with his teacher at age ten. And that he began to like cinema thanks to that teacher.
  97. Some minors who had sexual experiences before age of consent feel offended when they are called “victims”.
  98. There are adults whom the minor loves more than their own parents.
  99. Sex can be done for reasons unrelated to lust.
  100. Interesting how most of the adults cited in this book is younger than 30.
  101. Interesting how one third of the minors cited in this book are prepubescent children.
  102. There are minors who are unsatisfied with age of consent laws.
  103. A minor may feel attracted to an adult due to loneliness.
  104. Love is what matters most and you don’t hurt when you love.
  105. Some minors feel more attracted to adults than to people around their age. Actually, a recent study shows that the age of a “perfect partner” is, usually, four years older than the minor, according to adolescents’ standards. How many of us, as boys, didn’t lust over breasts, rear, thighs of “hot” teachers or beer ad women? How many times those desires didn’t reflect in drawings that we made in our classroom notebooks?
  106. A minor can insist in the relationship even after knowing it’s illegal, even if it’s his adult partner who says it’s illegal.
  107. An, even só, the minor tells no one, scared of how parents would react.
  108. The minor may tell other adults to not interfere.
  109. A minor in a sexual relationship isn’t necessarely a prostitute. They may even gift the adults they have relationships with.
  110. Even knowing that the adult is a pedophile, there are records of minors who do not fear them and like those relationships.
  111. The fact that there are minors who are against age of consent laws shows that those laws were done without asking their opinion. Age of consent laws are, because of that, “adultist” laws.
  112. Those relationships may last decades. Where are their parents? Aren’t those kids better with the adults they have relationships with, if their parents are capable of such negligence?
  113. The age difference may tease the minor’s curiosity.
  114. Some minors have their first orgasms with people who are older.
  115. Relationships between minors and responsible adults are analogical to relationships between two adults. One improves the other. But, like I said, thanks to the pedagogical element, the minor benefits more from such relationship.
  116. Many of those relationships are non-penetrative. The adult may allow the minor to take control.
  117. Sex is secondary, rather than the main element. It’s an important secondary element, tho.
  118. The minor may feel that the relationship is progressing naturally. They don’t even imagine that others would find it abnormal.
  119. The sensation of “lost childhood” not always happens. Of course, because “childhood” isn’t a concept that the child feels, as it’s a social construct.

  120. The minor’s relationship with an adult may not have been their first.

  121. The minor, sometimes, doesn’t want the adult to be arrested. Would arresting the adult be fair?
  122. Previous experiences with other minors may predispose the minor to relationships with adults. In those cases, the minor may feel proud of seducing an adult.
  123. At age eight, you already know how to keep a secret from your parents.
  124. Positive relationships between adults and minors aren’t object of media interest just because that point of view contradicts the dominant opinion, say some adults who had relationships with adults during their childhoods.

  125. Damn, an old man appeared only late in the book. The story number 34 is about a 13-year-old boy and a 67-year-old man. So far, most adults have been below age 30.
  126. There are kids who actually like to study. Weird, isn’t it?

  127. Purity is something that really interests minor-attracted people. Interesting how the interviewed adult, in the account 34, is avoiding, at all costs, to use the word “pedophile” to describe the adult whom he had a relationship with during his childhood.
  128. A pedophile who falls attracted to a child rarely is interested just in the kid’s body. They don’t see the kid solely as an object of sexual desire.
  129. Some parents don’t have enough love to be parents.
  130. When a person discusses positive relationships below age of consent with you, that person may start using all sorts of arguments to force you to admit that those relationships were not positive.

  131. The minors enjoys learning something from a liked adult.
  132. Any relationship may have an element of manipulation. Manipulation isn’t an exclusivity of adult-child relationships. If the prohibition of intergerational contact with children is the possibility of manipulation, then no relationship should be allowed: passionate manipulation between two adults also occurs and is on the news more often than adult-child manipulation. There’s even people concluding that a minor is only forced (manipulation being a kind of force) 5% of the times only.
  133. The minor can also manipulate the adult. “Do this, or I’m telling the cops.”
  134. Articles favorable to the subject are banned from media.
  135. After some time, physical attraction starts to not depend on physical appearance.

  136. The teacher who loves the student becomes more dedicated to teach. The student who loves the teacher becomes more dedicated to learn. Institutional rules that keep either side from forming affection-based bounds between students and teachers harm the passing of knowledge. The contact between one generation and another becomes “cold” and “sterile”.

  137. That kind of relationships doesn’t interfere in friendships which the minor may build with other minors.

  138. A good number of those adults is harmless. In the case of the almost-70-year guy, how much threat can an elder pose?
  139. Yes, both can benefit from it.

  140. Sometimes, the minor’s only worry is being caught.
  141. Consent doctrine says that a consent is only valid if both sides understand the act and both sides are free to say “no”. But minors in general do not see things that way; for many, consent is “we both want it, só it’s valid.” The biggest offenders of age of consent laws are the very minors.
  142. Parents have the right to know if a child has any adult friends.

  143. Some adult-attracted minors take advantage of their older appearance to lie about their own age, aiming to achieve the adult’s approval.
  144. Hypersexuality occurs in children too.

  145. Take note: “How I Learned to Snap”. It’s a biography by a homosexual journalist who remembers his relationships with adults, when he was 13, as helpful for building his adult identity.
  146. Minors who fall in love over adults may feel suffocated for not acting according to the impulse.
  147. If Rivas wasn’t supposed to use testimonials from pedophiles in this book, he would have more chances of acceptance if he didn’t use accounts obtained in Boychat. Don’t make it hard to defend you, Rivas!

  148. Not all those relationships, when discovered, end in arrests.

  149. Those relationships frequently start with desire for mutual affection.

  150. The status of ilegality of those relationships not always prevents them. It’s like downloading MP3. It’s wrong, but happens.
  151. Some parents allow!

  152. Some parents support it!

  153. Maybe the behavior problems that some children face nowadays have roots in lack of child sexuality expression. Some examples could be suicidal ideation, bedwetting and depression.
  154. There are adults who agree that the media coverage on pedophilia is unfairly negative.
  155. One can rise their grades this way.

  156. Many minors who has relationships do not seek medical help because they simply aren’t ill and didn’t suffer a trauma. A child who had a positive relationship may funcion just as good as other children, to the point of parents not noticing. That’s why therapists in general have such a negative view of adult-child relationships, because they only receive traumatized children in their clinics. Because of that, clinical samples aren’t a reliable source for researching the impact of relationships involving minors. It’s like going to a hospital to gauge the percentage of ill people.

  157. Minors who has positive experiences don’t wish their life was different in that aspect.

  158. Relationships below age of consent aren’t automatically abusive. A law doesn’t make something abusive if broken. You just need to remember of homosexuality, which was once illegal. Just to remind you: I’m making annotations on a book. I’m not telling you to break the laws.

  159. Some adults say that their experiences as minors with other adults were better than experiences with other minors. Again, don’t go around breaking laws.

  160. In a sexual relationship, both parties may seek different goals. They don’t have to build a relationship for the same reason. So, the fact of one wanting pleasure and the other wanting protection doesn’t invalidate the relationship, as long as both obtain what they want from the relationship.

  161. Child sexuality is “less selfish, playful, pleasure-seeking and less fearful of rejection.”
  162. Minors can pre-plan the seduction and what to do when the seduction starts working.

  163. This kind of relationship speeds up the minor’s maturing.

  164. Seems like the child, despite having sexuality, doesn’t develop more mature feelings of love before a certain age. Of course they love, but their love and their sexuality aren’t always connected, with sexuality serving the only purpose of achieving pleasure. It looks like something I would read from Freud.

  165. It’s possible to educate a child on politics. Maybe the correct word is “doctrinate”, tho.
  166. The physical power difference doesn’t nullify the relationship. A relationship between a bodybuilder and a lingerie model isn’t invalid. Unless we are going to forbid relationships by using weight criteria. When you love, you don’t want to hurt. That’s why “unequal” relationships work.

  167. A precocious minor most likely won’t be raped.

  168. A child may learn from their parents that sex is sin. That, like, has no biblical base…

  169. But the kid may also learn that confessing the sin “washes” it. The kid, then, sums two and two: “if I can confess, it doesn’t matter if I do it.”
  170. Growing up in a religious family doesn’t guarantee chastity. That’s because small children often do not understand the concept of shame. They are amoral and utilitarian. If something make them feel good while doing no apparent harm, but mom says it’s bad, the boy will do it behind her back.

  171. The adult not always tells the minor to keep secret.

  172. When a child is an “early bloomer” and finds no one to have a relationship with, they will likely find pleasure from another source. It’s not something one can erase.

  173. Seems like those happen more often in religious ambients. Strange.
  174. “Also in my head it began to click that sex was forbidden by the church, but that everyone did it anyway.” Welcome to the world, boy.

  175. The best way to tease a child’s curiosity is forbidding them from doing something.
  176. Lack of sex can ruin an engagement.
  177. Church looks pure. Just looks.
  178. Some individuals who fell attracted to older people during their childhood grow up and continue attracted to older people. Notice how we have adult age-discrepant couples. There’s not a lot of attention on this subject because, even if it’s no illegal if both are adults, it’s still something that flees from the norm. Or rather, from what is considered to be the norm.

  179. In an adult-child relationship, it’s common for the minor to need more attention from the adult than the other way around.

  180. This generation is more sexually informed than the previous.

  181. Just like sexual relationships between adults and minors make the adult be seen as sick, an early sexual behavior in children makes the child be seen as sick.

  182. Surrounding a natural impulse with ideas of guilt harms the normal development.
  183. Not talking about the subject makes the sexually-experimenting child feel isolated. The child starts wondering if their sexual curiosity is abnormal, when it actually is not.
  184. When a child builds friendship with a responsible adult, the parents notice that the child’s behavior improves.

  185. Interesting how in some cases narrated in this book, the relationships happen before the child even notices if they are heterosexual or homosexual. When a child notices what’s their orientation and notices that said orientation is incompatible with the relationship they are having with the adult… they simply stop.

  186. Those relationships do not necessarely indicate that the kid doesn’t like their parents.

  187. If the adult is arrested due to the relationships, they will continue friends with the minor after being released.

  188. A round of sex doesn’t need to involve penetration. Though, being Brazilian, it’s hard for me to see non-penetrative intimacy as “sex”, because that word always conveys me an idea that it’s penetrative.

  189. You can forget your anger on bed. Again, and I have to say this whenever I’m scared of the popular reaction to these annotations: I’m making annotations on a book, I’m not telling you to break the law.

  190. It’s possible for a child to be involved with adults, but not with any child of their age.

  191. Those tykes are só “you only live once.”

  192. Pedophiles rarely fall in the stereotype people have of them.

  193. Relationships like those could improve the minor’s emotional control.

  194. It’s easier for a minor to accept advice from a lover than their very parents.

  195. Depending on family dynamics, it’d be better for the minor to be adopted by the lover.

  196. Age of consent laws could very well slow down the minor’s normal sexual development.

  197. It’s the minor’s opinion against the judge, the teacher and that dude at social services.

  198. There are minors who insist with the adult until they get it.

  199. Strange how some adults in this book aren’t exactly “pedophiles”, that is, they don’t seem to have a preference for minors. That means that there are people who aren’t pedophiles and, even só, may eventually have a relationship with a minor.

  200. Defending pedophilia doesn’t make a pedophile, just like defending homosexuality doesn’t make you homosexual.

  201. The minor may have their positive experience turned into negative when someone convinces them of that. However, if you had to be convinced that your experience was negative, wasn’t it a fault of whoever convinced you? That’s why children come out crazy from therapy. If a doctor at social services didn’t ever tell you that “you have been abused, manipulated and used”, maybe you wouldn’t feel bad over what happened, supposing that the act wasn’t forced, abusive or manipulative. Then the kid grows up with chronic problems related to the “abuse”, such as guilt and shame, problems that would never have appeared if no one had told them that their positive experience was “actually” negative.

  202. Coming out positively about relationships between adults and minors may make you lose votes.

  203. There’s a lot of people in sex offender register who do not need to be there.

  204. There are minors who would do it again, despite knowing it’s crime.

  205. Wild kindergarten.

  206. Seems like adult-child relationships are more acceptable is the adult is a woman. There are minors who feel bad when the adults are arrested.

  207. When the minor speaks about what happened to the therapist, they do not identify the therapist’s discourse with their experience.

  208. Where’s the victim?

  209. The teacher you go out with doesn’t even need to be your teacher.

  210. Upon growing up, some former minors ask the judge to let the adult out of jail.

  211. Also upon growing up, some former minors marry and have children with the adult.

  212. There’s a load of minors willing to have affairs with older women.

  213. As those minors feel that their positive experiences are minority, they do not support the legalization of those relationships. The issue is that, actually, the traumas are minority…

  214. Even minors who had positive relationships with pedophiles may still nurture hate towards all other pedophiles, except that only one who had the relationship wiht them. The reason for that is the belief that those positive relationships are exceptions and that most adults who approach to a kid that way just wants to rape. People like those, whoever, may still think it’s okay as long as the act is not forced, só they open an exception.

  215. When two minors have a relationship, it tends to be shallow, due to both having the same intelectual level. But, with an adult, there’s the pedagogical aspect.

  216. Women are also capable of sexual violence.

  217. A same person can have both positive and negative sexual experiences in childhood and adolescence and has authority to compare them.

  218. Love is never wrong. If you love, you won’t hurt.

  219. Minors who had good relationships with adults may still retain the prejudice that pedophilia only exists where abuse exists. So, for those minors, the adult who has a non-coerced, non-painful relationship with a minor isn’t a pedophile. The problem is that it’s wrong: pedophilia is the sexual attraction for children. It’s a clinical term, indifferent to the morals. That doesn’t mean that those relationships were bad, but that pedophilia isn’t always bad. In fact, pedophilia is an attraction, not an act. A person can be pedophile and never do anything sexual to a child for whatever reason.
  220. There are minors who even say that there problems that are unique to those who didn’t have relationships in adolescence. Curious data.

  221. When homosexuality was unnacceptable, a number of homosexuals would openly say that anal sex was wrong. Nowadays, we have anti-contacts.

  222. This book has an abbreviated link. Does he expect me to click the page? That’s why a book that is available in HTML format can not be printed without editing.

  223. Why do children still talk to strangers despite being warned not to? Because strangers not always seem dangerous.

  224. There are parents who have the feeling that there’s an adult doing something to their child, but feel unsure about intervening or not, as they see that the child is genuinely happy with whatever is happening between them and their adult.

  225. A parent may continue to allow their child to have a relationship with an adult for fear of harming the child upon forcing a break up.

  226. The book brings the case of an adult who got to the point of showing his child pornography collection tothe minor. The amount of smiling children in that kind of pornography is… surprising. You just have to remember that there are minors who take picutres and record videos of themselves. That would be production and possession of child pornography, even if it’s produced by the minor, without adult intervention, and even if the minor doesn’t share it (and even if they can consent, but haven’t reached age 18). From which we can conclude that a child doesn’t need to be forced or tortured to allow such pornography to exist.
  227. When someone is caught with child porn, any tabloid can say whatever they wish about them, including lies. After all, it’s a damn pedophile, right? Who cares about their dignity?

  228. If on one hand there are adult-child relationships that are traumatic, on the other hand the popular reaction also traumatizes the minor.

  229. It’s more common than you think.

  230. Some minors look for adults because partners of their age simply do not meet expectations.

  231. There are women who quarrel for the pleasure of reconciliation.

  232. Why are the accounts about little girls way more detailed?

  233. The “friendly shoulder” strategy works well. Maybe you should do that to an adult you like. Again, I’m reviewing a book… I’m not telling you to have affairs with children.

  234. Until a while ago, I was scared of women due to several, repeated bad experiences and prejudices that were given to me by my environment. But there are women who fear men for the same reason, because they were taught to.

  235. Some parents who find out about those relationships prefer to solve it themselves without involving the police.

  236. The effort of convincing the masses that those relationships are always negative only works with those who didn’t have positive relationships. I’m immune, then.

  237. There are people who mourn the death of a loved one until the day they die themselves.

  238. Having feelings towards older people may confuse the minor.

  239. The fact of many of those relationships occuring at age 14 validates age of consent in Brazil. There’s no need to raise our age of consent. The fact of many of those relationships occuring at age 12 validates the proposal to reduce age of consent in Brazil to 12. The fact of many of those relationships occuring before puberty makes us wonder if age of consent is necessary.

  240. Sometimes a minor needs an adult to tell them to take contraception seriously.

  241. At age 14, an adolescent already knows enough about their body and sexual functions, even if they didn’t have sexual education lessons, as they have easy access to Internet, can learn by own experience and can inform themselves with friends. Of course, sexual education would be better, tho…

  242. Learning sexual responsibility with an adult spares the minor from learning it themselves. Again, I’m making annotations on a book. It’s not me saying those things. Don’t go around breaking laws.

  243. There are minors who grow up and tell pedophiles to, yes, break the law, but “responsibly”. Man, should I continue reading this book or stop here?

  244. There are pedophiles who are satisfied with hugging the child or sitting them on the lap.

  245. A relationship may end because the minor feels that the adult loves the minor more than the other way around. The sensation of being unable to balance the mutual care makes the minor feel that it’s unfair to continue with an adult who is able to love só much while the minor can not love with the same intensity. That’s natural, I think, in relationships in which the minor is just too young to express feelings of love (which isn’t just affection). Plus, there’s no guarantee that both people love each other in the same intensity even in adult-adult relationships.

  246. Look, lesbians.

  247. Interesting how some gay rights activists believe that young homosexuals can benefit from learning with an adult.

  248. The accounts GW-03 and GW-04 are strangely alike. Edition mistake? Or two accounts by the same person?

  249. One of the things that make this kind of relationships attractive for the minor is that the minor isn’t treated as someone who is inferior to the adult. Said adult doesn’t impose themselves as someone who is superior.

  250. It’s easier for the minor to feel bad for being in a same-sex relationship than in an adult-child relationship.

  251. Domestic abuse, such as hits with sandals, sexual abuse, beltings, if given by the father, can make a girl grow up hating men.

  252. Minors may have those relationships, knowing they are wrong, without feeling guilt.

  253. To judge someone only for their sexuality is unfair.
  254. Minors may fall in love with adults and have their feelings reciprocated. That is, actually, natural.

  255. And then an “expert” comes to say that the minor was abused.

  256. There’s a lot of minor-attracted people who won’t be open about it.

  257. It’s hypocrite for a person who had good relationships in childhood to deny those relationships to the current youth.

  258. Who is really controlling and manipulative: the adult whom the minor is having a relationships with or the adult who says that the relationship is wrong, even if it doesn’t offer damage or risk?

  259. To assume that the minor knows nothing won’t make the minor learn. If the minor is unaware of things, why won’t you teach the minor? Why is society só averse to sexual education (which, in fact, is misunderstood)?

  260. Child sexuality shouldn’t be ignored as a problem of small intensity. It’s not even a problem to begin with.

  261. Two minors sometimes help each other to find an adult partner.

  262. Feeling that the relationship may end in a disaster, the adult my distance themselves. But that same adult may feel hurt if the child decides to distance themselves as well.

  263. Sex may not happen.

  264. The adult must take responsibility for whatever happens to the minor.

  265. A person can have homosexual feelings in adult life and still have doubts.

  266. Another report that appeared on Salon. Alright, they have an agenda…

  267. Some church-goers only attend to church because they think the celebrations are beautiful. That reminds me that I read somewhere that 40% of the French Catholics are atheist.

  268. Some minors don’t have sex only with those they love (“friends with benefits”).
  269. To call “abusive” all relationships with minors reveals that the researcher is too lazy to think.

  270. It’s simple, it’s politics that turns it complex.

  271. The argument against kiddy consent is, mainly, lack of information. Is that study or practice? If study, there are sex education lessons, there’s easy access to pornography (which minors shouldn’t watch, but do anyway), there are exchanged experiences, among others forms of obtaining information, such as scietific articles online. If it’s practice, there’s only one way to know. So, if a minor can not have relationships because they never had practice, then the minor won’t ever be able to have them: he needs practice to gain access to practice. And turning fourteen (age of consent in Brazil) doesn’t replace such. Unless you receive an orgy as birthday gift.

  272. That restriction reveals overprotection. In name of that overprotection, other freedoms are removed from minors. To achieve this, it’s important for the minor to feel like a victim, even if the act didn’t harm them.

  273. Another one from Salon, oh, gosh!

  274. Edmund White was also wild.

  275. There are minors who had só much sex before age 14 that they can’t even remember all those times. Shocking.

  276. There’s a number of minors using adult sites and having sexual conversations with adults.

  277. The parents of the previous generations were more sexually permissive. Previous generations in the sense of “around first World War.”

  278. It seems to be the norm between homosexuals to be against pedophilia. Very well, but, just to make sure, ask a 30-year-old homosexual at what age he lost his virginity and what was the partner’s age.

  279. “If there are children who like it, why is it always illegal?”, some adults who lived in the fifties ask.

  280. Pim Fortuyn had his first sexual encounter when he as five. It’s in his book “Babyboomers”.

  281. We make a huge deal because of something that the child doesn’t even find meaningful. Again, we are talking about positive relationships, not real abuse.

  282. Sometimes, it’s safer with an adult. Don’t go around breaking laws, minors.

  283. No such thing as innocent child.

  284. Even if such child does exist, the presence of an adult, even if a sexual adult, who does a good job at being a parent is still better than having no parent, if what the child wants is affection when an active parent is missing. That’s specially true in capitalistic societies, where both parents work a lot and the child loses contact with them. However, the fact that a same kid can explore with adults and peers suggests that the goal isn’t to find a surrogate parent.

  285. The existence of positive accouts likely won’t convince anyone who already believes that all those contacts are bad (“antis”).

  286. But the lack of emphasis in those encounters produces more prejudice.
  287. The minor may stop if they notice that it’s illegal and that the act has consequences.
  288. The fact of a person never getting sexually involved to a child while feeling interest towards adults does not disqualify the person as pedophile, if it’s easier for a child to incite them arousal than an adult.

  289. If Lewis Carroll took Alice to bed, supposing that she would want it and trust him, would she come out traumatized from the bedroom?

  290. “Antis are just desperate for an excuse to hate.” Yes, I also think that there’s a lot of people who like to hate.

  291. Some open pedophiles refuse sex with children even if the child wants it, either for ethical or legal reasons.

  292. Both may want and still nothing happens.

  293. Michael Jackson was friends with that boy from Home Alone. Said boy, by the way, defended Jackson against child abuse allegations, from which he was declared innocent after all.

  294. The number of positive relationships is probably way higher, because that is a subject that most people would rather not talk about. It’s important to remember of the “3/4”, mentioned in Rind Report.

  295. Considering that those relationships were voluntary, the Stockholm syndrome hypothesis doesn’t apply.

  296. What if those accounts were made up? Check the references!
  297. All those pedophiles who are coming out of the closet in this decade, as well as all others from previous decades who were involved with the movement, are worried with the ethics of those relationships. None of them wants “freedom to rape”.

  298. If you believe that positive accounts are fake, why don’t you doubt of the negative ones as well? I can question them too.

  299. To reject the possibility of positive experiences seems to be excused only when analysing relationships between adults and minors. In any other context, that would be seen as an attack against impartiality.

  300. Ask yourself: how could I be convinced that a relationship was positive? If nothing can convince you, it’s you who have a problem. You are up to disregarding the opinion of the person who felt the experience, while you did not. You don’t know what they felt. And, nonetheless, you feel free to conclude the opposite of what the minors felt.

  301. It’s possible to talk about consent in adult-child relationships. They aren’t non-consensual a priori, says the author.

  302. Those relationships, like adult-adult relationships, aren’t just sexual. There are other elements, such as affection, emotional closeness, mutual support, among others. In addition, the sexual element may even be completely absent.

  303. The fact that one third of the reltionships in the book involve prepubescent minors is an evidence of the existence of child sexuality. It’s not like adult sexuality, but is there. Notice how babies play with their genitals for several minutes, with no apparent reason. Why would they do that? Because it feels good. It’s sexual pleasure, but the baby, of course, doesn’t know that it is. Nonetheless, still sexual pleasure. From which we conclude that puberty only changes the shape of an already existing sexuality.

  304. There’s no scientific base for age of consent laws.

  305. A harmless relationship that is approved by the minor and by the minor’s parents doesn’t need to be forbidden. It was like that in Brazil before 2009, when the article 217-A of the Penal Code was approved.

  306. If those relationships were completely sexual, they were supposed to cease when the minor grows up. But a lot of them continue.

  307. It’s possible that the minor develops a trauma after such relationships thanks to the intervention of social services or justice. However, that doesn’t mean that all relationships are naturally good; “real” abuse exists, just like there are adults who rape other adults (and, just to poke the subject, there are also children who rape other children).

  308. A child who is capable of building friendships with another child and benefit from it can also build a friendship with an adult and benefit from it.

  309. An adult-child relationship must be judged according to it’s own merit, in a way that each relationship is a case in itself. There’s no need to declare all adult-child relationships illegal, because, in doing só, justice punishes victimless crimes at same time it risks victimizing the minor. That’s not what justice is for. Actually, it’s not justice, period.

  310. But, for ethical reasons, parents should still have the right to forbid relationships that they consider harmful. What Rivas wants is a return to the old law, that existed in Brazil before 2009.

  311. The question that we should ask isn’t at what age can someone start having a relationship, but what are the ethical criteria that should be taken in consideration in that specific type of relationship. Instead of forbidding all relationships with people under age fourteen (because it’s immoral to deprive someone of a costless benefit, for as long as it’s possible for the minor to benefit from it), let’s forbid only relationships that are violent, painful, disapproved by parents, disapproved by the minor…

  312. The minor has the right to stop the relationships and the adult may not order secrecy.
  313. Sexuality must not be forced. Someone must ask “wouldn’t an adult in a relationship with a minor always force the sex?”, but fact is that ethical adults, in relationships with other adults, won’t insist in a sexual contact if the partner doesn’t want it. Some relationships are even devoid of sex. It’s like saying that an adult, when driven by arousal, won’t stop at anything, like a sex-crazed beast. But would you really hurt a child for sex, specially if you love them?

  314. The relationship must not cause pain and must not have undesired consequences.

  315. If the minor says no or maybe or perhaps later or anything other than “yes”, don’t cross the line.

  316. Those ethical criteria should help the creation of new laws in the future, but, while that future doesn’t arrive, we shouldn’t break existing laws.

  317. If those relationships were liberated and the minor didn’t feel embarrassed to talk about them, real abuse would be easier to discover, because many minors don’t disclose because of shame.

  318. A relationship that is forced, painful, not approved by parents or not approved by the very minor must still be crime. But a relationships that is peaceful, healthy, approved by the minor and by the parents shouldn’t be criminally persecuted.

  319. Age of consent laws not only forbid adult-child relationships, but also child-child relationships.

  320. If the minor is too young, that is, a child, there should be no penetration. That touching the our parents gave us shouldn’t be prohibited (but, however, they became illegal in 2009, if the judge considers them “libidinous acts”, which may put a father in jail for up to fifteen years for an act which the presumed violence the child didn’t even feel). Those acts were só common, that they would air on TV, albeit very superficially, like the little natives in Castelo Rá-Tim-Bum or that scene in the original Menino Maluquinho in which the mother bathes Maluquinho and tries to grab his “lolipop”. That wasn’t seen as scandalous and a lot of fondling happened indoors. But UN thought it would be good for world peace to pressure Brazil to illegalize those contacts. By the way, just to poke the subject, UN does a terrible job at keeping world peace. What it truly is: a cultural imperialism device.

  321. If a friendship gets a sexual dimmension, the parents must know.

  322. In a relationship, no matter the age of the involved parties, neither party should see the other as object.

  323. If the adult notices that all that the minor wants is emotional involvement, that’s what the adult should give.

  324. If those relationships were selfish, the minors wouldn’t benefit from it. If they benefit from a relationship with an adult, that’s because the adult is not selfish.

  325. It’s not “your” child. The kid’s free.

  326. Social elements must also be taken in consideration. If someone finds out, would the minor be harmed? If a relationship has to stay a secret, maybe it would be better to not have such relationship.

  327. It may take decades for those changes to occur. So, for now, let’s just be friends, alright?

  328. No matter how much the adult loves the minor, the adult must not spoil the kid. The minor must not develop a dependence on the adult.

  329. The adult should inform the minor of real child sexual abuse and instruct them to report.

  330. Parents are the only ones who absolutely must know about the relationship. It doesn’t need to be secret, but you don’t go around telling everyone about it.

  331. Those relationships shouldn’t end abruptly, to avoid emotional pain.

  332. Despite being obviously pro-contact, Rivas says that, at least in present time, it’s better to be “virtuous”, that is, celibate when it comes to minors.

  333. To say that a pedophile doesn’t understand love or is incapable of feeling it is prejudice.

  334. A pleasurable, painless, approved (by minor and parents) isn’t immoral.
  335. A relationship that doesn’t abide to that standard must still be considered illegal, says the author.

  336. Prejudice is immoral. Demonizing someone over something you do not understand is immoral.

  337. Those changes must not take place before the social stigma is removed.

  338. Moral values of such “Pedophile Honor Code” should be revised periodically, according to new scientific discoveries, following the pace the current philosophical reflection. Such code should be used as foundation of regulation laws.

  339. Some critics say: “even if all those laws serve the purpose of preventing real abuse, no adult would be willing to follow them.” They speak as if sexual desire overwhelmed the reason of all minor-attracted adults. If that were true, how can one explain the large number of pedophiles who never have relationships with minors and never consume child porn? That prejudice is inherited by virpeds (anti-contact pedophiles), says the author, but I can say, from personal experience, that a number of virpeds do not think like that. From what I could observe, there are many reasons that make a person choose to be anti-contact path and the ability of an adult to follow a code of sexual conduct (something tht all normal adults already do in already legalized relationships, by the way) isn’t a good reason for a handful of anti-contacts. They are the living proof that someone can have an attraction and follow a code of ethics, even if their code is complete abstinence.

  340. Pedophilia is the attraction for pre-pubescent minors, period. It doesn’t imply selfishness, urges to kidnap, tendency to rape and kill, nothing of that. If a person gets to that point, it’s either a comorbidity or the person wasn’t a pedophile at all (because pedophilia, as sexual attraction, implies feelings of love).

  341. If it’s the erotic contact that causes the damage, how come two kids who fool around do not suffer with that?

  342. If we assume that pedophiles have little self-control, virpeds automatically lose all credit. How can they end stigma that way? That way, the anti-contact who says that minor-attracted adults have little self-control is implying that pedophiles shouldn’t be allowed around children, thus, can not participate in society. The discourse of complete celibacy turns null. But it’s like what I said, I don’t see many virpeds saying that our self-control is crippled.

  343. If the child doesn’t talk about his adult friend with their parents, the parents must ask.
  344. It’s social stigma that makes the emancipation of those relationships be seen as an utopia. You just have to remember that a lot of fourteen-year-old teens had active and healthy sexual lives in Brazil before 2009. But how? Wasn’t that supposed to be utopic? That’s because, back then, there was more tolerance. And nothing of value was lost.

  345. Relationships between adults and minors must be, somehow, monitored by the parents. The author doesn’t advocate that children or teens should take such decisions despite what parents think.
  346. The evidence that the human brain only reaches maturity at age 23 doesn’t serve against the emancipation of those relationships: first, because said evidence suggests that age of consent should be 23 and, second, because it implies that two minors shouldn’t date or have relationships before age 23. That’s bad both for minors and adults. You either use the whole evidence or don’t use it at all, rather than using selectively. Plus, there’s evidence against as well. Supposing that the minor’s brain reaches cognitive maturity before age 23, then minors only act irresponsibly because adults don’t teach them to behave in a mature manner. And how can they teach, if the moral panic towards pedophilia discourages adults who are willing to display affection? The child and the teen are stuck with learning from each other, rather than someone experienced (which explains why teenage pregnancy occurs more often in teen couples).

  347. Plus, that argument supposes that people under age 23 are sexually ignorant.

  348. If adults aren’t capable of acting ethically in a relationship with a minor, supposing that such was legalized, how can we expect two minors to act ethically in a relationship between each other, if minors are supposedly less mentally capable?

  349. As said, some parents allow because they see that the child isn’t being harmed and wants to continue.

  350. Children and adolescentes must know their rights. Problem is that no one wants to talk about that, to not lose control over those minors.

  351. The current debate about pedophilia focuses on individuals and not the relationship. They want the adult to live happily despite abstinent, which is a start, but they refuse to think about what makes a relationship positive or not. They either assume it’s always negative, which isn’t true, or do not want to debate it to not lose State funds. They think “how to prevent?” rather than “is it needed to prevent?”

  352. For the author, a new wave of intellectuals who are more open to radical research directions is needed, because the current wave isn’t willing to discuss it. So, a change in science and philosophy is needed before we can make any liberal changes in age of consent laws. I don’t think like that. I agree that reducing stigma to erradication is needed, but I believe that a new wave of politicians and growing acceptance among laymen are also needed. Because many researchers do not want to touch the subject, as they have careers to keep and don’t want public outrages. The public needs to change first.

  353. Homosexuality isn’t fully accepted yet, as there are minors who are scared of coming out.

  354. What if the minor likes it só much that they end up never meeting, in adult life, someone as good as that adult who had a relationship with them during childhood? That also happens between adults. Who never regretted an irreversible break-up?

  355. The moral panic is such that, in the absence of argument, people make up reasons against.

  356. There’s a sincere media effort into making positive and negative relationships look like the same thing. Secondary victimization also is exposed as intrinsic.

  357. A number of researchers reject positive data knowing that it’s a fault against impartiality.

  358. Positive relationships between humans deserve protection, not persecution.

  359. The quantitative disparity between studies on negative consequences and studies on positive consequences shows how much this debate is vice-laden. If the existence of positive relationships becomes public knowledge, it’s a matter of time until people find out that their quality if almost as good as adult relationships. If people think like that, they might think it’s unfair to keep them illegal, which could sum up with the growing displease with age of consent laws (specially in countries where it’s 16 or more). And then, society will change and só on. Keeping people unaware of positive encounters is essential for keeping the society unchanged. And that’s lucrative.

  360. Excess of protection may keep the child from maturing at a natural pace.

  361. The affirmation that “relationships with minors are violent by definition and that anyone who says the opposite is a potential rapist” lacks proofs. It’s double prejudice.

  362. That prejudice is reinforced by the use of forensic samples in research about pedophilia. This problem began to be remedied in the previous decade.

  363. The fact that the current consensus is not impartial is enough reason for it’s rejection.
  364. The fact that the prejudice would endure even after legalization isn’t enough to keep them illegal. There’s prejudice against homosexuals even today and said prejudice is decreasing. I even think that the prejudice against intergenerational relationships would be overcomed easier, because the minor in a positive relationship with an adult matures quicker, including in an intellectual sense, if we owe credit to the testimonials in this book. So, there would be an use. It wouldn’t be something that brings just pleasure. One of the reasons for homosexuality to be still rejected by more conservative people is that homosexuality “serves no other purpose, but pleasure alone”. That’s how I think, but not Rivas.

  365. The standard way to research pedophilia is humiliating and dehumanizing.

  366. The way people currently treat pedophilia is the way people used to treat homosexuality. And now homosexuals nurture prejudice about pedophiles.

  367. There are perfectly sane pedophiles.

  368. Pedophiles must not think that they are ill.

  369. Some (read, Finkelhor) believe that the existence of positive outcomes doesn’t invalidate the fact that adult-child relationships are still immoral. Some people who uphold that vision argue that there are slaves who are happy with their condition. But comparing pedophilia and slavery is nonsense: the essence of slavery is the lack of freedom, which is evil, while the essence of positive relationships between adult and minor is the love between them and the sexual pleasure. So, one is essentially wrong, the other is not. That means that we can’t conclude that pedophilia is always wrong because slavery is always wrong, despite the existence of happy slaves.

  370. In fact, the existence of minors who want those relationships shows how age of consent laws seem to be a form of control and, because of that, a curbing of freedom.

  371. Rejecting those relationships without knowing both sides reveals prejudice, rather than common sense.

8 de dezembro de 2014

Seneca the Younger – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Lucius Annaeus Seneca (often known simply as Seneca /ˈsɛnɪkə/; c. 4 BC – AD 65) was a Roman Stoic philosopher, statesman, dramatist, and in one work humorist, of the Silver Age of Latin literature.

Via Seneca the Younger – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Mas aquele livro não deixa de me impressionar. Nunca imaginei que Sêneca iria tanto com minha cara. Sêneca pregou o desapego das coisas materiais, mas com moderação até nisso. Ele era como um meio-termo entre Diógenes, o cão, e Epicuro. Assim, deveríamos ter um desapego das coisas, mas não tanto como teve Diógenes. Para ele, o vício vem do excesso e excesso é aquilo que, por estar em superabundância, traz prejuízo. O vício é o excesso indomável, irrecusável, ao qual cai o espírito fraco por falta de força de vontade. Isso inclui o alcoolismo, por exemplo, que é o consumo excessivo de bebida alcoólica, com o agravante de que a pessoa não tem forças para reduzir a ingestão a níveis seguros.

Eu sempre pensei dessa forma. Nem todo excesso é vício, somente os excessos que cometemos por fraqueza, mas isso é outra história. O que me atraiu no texto de Sêneca hoje, chamado “os males da riqueza”, foi esta passagem:

Habituemo-nos a ter o luxo à distância e a fazer uso da utilidade dos objetos e não de sua sedução exterior.

Tem coisa mais bonita e mais inútil que um computador da Apple? É muito caro e o sistema é muito esotérico em comparação com Windows e GNU/Linux. Mas, Deus, como é lindo! Muitos de nós adquirem coisas que, na verdade, não precisam, mas que simplesmente atraem, seduzem. Pelo menos onde eu moro, Mac OS decepciona boa parte daqueles que o adquirem. GNU/Linux também decepciona, mas tem a vantagem de ser de baixíssimo custo e de facílima manutenção. Mas nenhum deles tem tanta beleza como o Mac, embora passem muito à frente em utilidade.

Eu caio nesse pecado também, me sinto culpado sempre que caio, mas tem acontecido com menos frequência. E qual é minha tentação? Folhas de papel. Há pouco tempo que adquiri um caderno novo para desenhar, mas, na semana seguinte, comprei um pacote com cem folhas de papel novinhas, simplesmente porque eram semi-recicladas e, por isso, tinham uma cor insólita. Razão estúpida, não? E a pior parte é que eu tinha papel o bastante, eu não precisava de mais. E logo eu, que me acho um cara ecológico. Mas, aos poucos, estou ficando melhor em resistir à tentação de comprar o que não preciso ou o que é inútil. Afinal, as coisas mais bonitas da vida são de graça e de domínio público, além de úteis. Só preciso de prática.

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