15 de maio de 2015

Notes on “Paedophilia”.

Filed under: Livros — Tags:, — Yurinho @ 14:31

“Paedophilia: The Radical Case” was written by Tom O’Carroll. Below are some notes that I took about his book.

  1. There are few books on pedophilia, because professionals are scared of discussing it. It’s a taboo in our times. Excluding specialized literature, people either remember of it negatively or prefer to forget.
  2. Not even pedophiles themselves discuss pedophilia (at the time when the book was written).
  3. Because the debate is extremely poor, the author wrote the book to balance the majority negative view on the subject. He claims to be pedophile.
  4. The pedophile influence in popular movements exist. A number of people who are not pedophillic want age of consent abolishment, for diverse reasons. But the group that insisted most in that question was the pedophile movement in seventies and eighties. Their agenda made sense. It wasn’t a matter of obtaining “license to rape.”
  5. To speak positively about relationships between adults and minors is covered by the human right of freedom of speech. But politics seem to have selective memory.
  6. Pedophilia is a problem that is smaller than it seems. In fact, as a romantic or sexual attraction, it’s no problem at all.
  7. Some church groups, as well, in the eighties, were favorable to the softening of age of consent laws, arguing that the laws originally conceived to protect the youth are doing more harm than good.
  8. The pedophile author doesn’t want to destroy family.
  9. Child sexual repression makes the child grow as a sexually incompetent or irresponsible adult.
  10. The author’s goal isn’t to conduct scientific research or to offer new research results, but to offer a pedophile opinion on the subject of pedophilia. A debate about homosexuality or christianity that doesn’t include the homosexual or the christian can not be considered impartial, because it’s a discourse about someone that ignores said someone. I can’t see how a debate about pedophilia can be called “impartial” without the opinion of pedophiles themselves.
  11. The author is a boy lover.

  12. The author admits that there’s a problem in other boy lover publications: to write as if girls didn’t exist. A comprehensive approach on pedophilia requires one to take encounters involving girls in consideration as well.

  13. An approach like those would allow a better counter-argumentation when debating radical feminists, who treat pedophiles as exclusively male beings who exclusively desire girls. They use that “1/4 demographics” to generalize all pedophilia… and still manage to do it poorly.

  14. It seems like advanced societies, first world societies, have an aversion to sex in general. Not only the sex that is considered non-normative, such as homosexuality or pedophilia, but all forms of sex. It’s important to point that it’s a majorly western phenomenon: Japan is more chill.
  15. This book is a coletive effort between the author and psychologists, psyquiatrists, sociologists, philosophers, medics, lawyers, politicians and sexologists. So, like, if you have problems with age of consent laws, even without being a pedophile, you should read this…
  16. To find bibliography before Internet was invented was probably boring and complex…
  17. T. H. White was a pedophile. Apparently, exclusive…
  18. The pedophillic desire is, normally, innocuous. A fair number don’t even want penetration. They do not want to do anything forced or painful with the child. But society’s reaction to those feelings is what makes them risky. So, the number of positive relationships isn’t bigger just because there’s a number of well-meaning adults holding themselves back.
  19. Our friend feels attracted to children ever since he was a child himself. Sounds familiar.

  20. The most sexually active years in a person life may very well be the childhood and adolescence years.
  21. The pedophile finds out that they like younger people when their sexuality “stops growing up” with them. They get older and the target of their attraction continues to be people who didn’t hit puberty yet. The feelings aren’t exclusively sexual, but also protective and romantic.
  22. Children like physical contact. They are mammals, after all.
  23. There are children who want it, there are children who do not want it.
  24. At least in other nations, children are educated to not accept affection from any adult, except parents. And even the affection between parents had to be done away from the child, such as kisses and caressing between mother and father. That creates the sensation that affection is something restricted. That, allied to the limitation of sexual information, turns the child oblivious to the existence of sex or makes the child see sex as something wrong, dirty or forbidden. Maybe the child even thinks that the parents are virgin. For the child, that does make sense.
  25. The author’s childhood was só chaste that he would be terrified by the sight of his parents’ genitals. He should have lived here, in Northeast, because I saw my parents nude almost all the time, because the heat demanded us to not be very dressed, at least indoors. In fact, I used to shower with my dad. Was wild.
  26. For the pedophile, being a pedophile is being normal. That’s because it’s something that grows with them. The pedophile usually doesn’t ask “why”, once it’s a natural trait for him. It’d be like someone asking “why am I normal?”.
  27. An upbringing like the author’s upbringing is limited and causes problems in adult life.
  28. The child generalizes the experiences they had in childhood. “If was raised that way, other children probably were too.” The shock happens when the child notices that it’s not like that, when the prejudice is challenged. In the author’s case, he assumed that all children are scared of intimacy with adults. I imagine him being thrown in Northeast Brazil during the nineties. I would even share a room with him just to see his reaction upon seeing my father kiss my lips.
  29. Some parents instill fear and sexual guilt in the child, an attitude that is currently uncommon. There’s a lot of tykes using Whatsapp to ask for porn to other kids who do the same. The problem with that deviant behavior is that you need to be thirteen to have Whatsapp accounts.
  30. But other parents, such as mine, raise their children in a way that stimulates and quenches their sexual curiosity, allowing the child to take a more realistic take on life. I know it may sound strange, but my father was work safety technician and had a lot of magazines about sexually-transmitted diseases, pregnancy and contraception, written in comic format. At age 6, I read everything in sight and those comics were no exception. That didn’t make any more interested in having sex, but I know how to do it, why would I want to do it, what are the consequences and how to avoid such consequences. To learn about sex doesn’t necessarely makes the minor inclined to try it.

  31. An adult may hear a minor say “can I see under your pants?”, deny the minor and then tell to his friends “children aren’t interested in adult nudity.” To learn that children are innocent makes the adult disregard what he just heard when a child makes a definitely sexual request, even if the child doesn’t know it’s sexual.
  32. Anti-contacts should read this, it almost looks like the first chapter was written for them. There are children who want it and wouldn’t feel offended by being exposed to adult sexuality.
  33. Children do that to adults they trust.
  34. It’s the belief that children are innocent that makes pedophilia unacceptable. If it became clear that there are children who desire intimate contact with adults outside of family and that said children would benefit from such contact, there would be no reason for age of consent laws.
  35. The pedophile, in several senses, acts like a parent to the child, except that they feel aroused from acting as parent.
  36. It has no cure. If it has no cure, maybe it’s time to check if it’s really an illness.
  37. Many pedophiles pass as normal people with no problem at all. They aren’t the monsters described in media.
  38. They are normal relationships, if you ignore the age of the participants.
  39. Just like homosexuals refused treatment even when put to jail, pedophiles refuse treatment even when found out. That doesn’t mean that homosexuals are bad, but that pedophiles rarely are.
  40. To keep a loving person from loving is to twist their mind.
  41. Excluding the sexual element, pedophiles are good as teachers, doctors and even children rights advocates.
  42. The fear that society nurtures about pedophilia has no scientific base.
  43. A child in a positive relationship with an adult, upon learning that such relationship was supposed to be negative, becomes confused. That prejudice is also frequently associated to homophobia.
  44. Denied pedophiles may commit passionate crimes, just like denied adult-attracted adults.
  45. Stigma makes it worse.
  46. After the pedophile is excluded from society, what is there to lose? So, having a stable job and a desired role in society keeps pedophiles “in check”, for lack of better term. Unfortunately, that keeps state-funded researchers with their mouths as shut as possible.
  47. In a situation like the author’s, it’s not hard to imagine that some pedophiles may very well hate children and don’t want to stay around them. I wonder how many of those adults who say “I hate children” didn’t use to love them.
  48. The author was driven to attempt suicide. And, in the end, he didn’t even have a reason to.
  49. Have a relationship with a child is to deal with more responsibility than you would deal in a relationship with an adult. If you were a normal adult, you wouldn’t choose that. Pedophilia isn’t a choice.
  50. Would society work better without age of consent? If só, why does age of consent exist? If there are positive outcomes, why are all relationships forbidden, rather than only the negative ones? Why waste public money punishing someone who did no harm, rather than punishing only those who did harm?
  51. Freud demonstrated that children and even babies are sexual beings. That’s still news for many people.
  52. The problem is that the latency period between phallic stage and genital stage does not exist.
  53. Back in Freud’s times, child sexuality was seen as a problem to be eliminated. Today, a number of experts reflect that antiquated opinion.
  54. What is wrong in recognizing that children feel sexual pleasure and desire such pleasure? Why take the baby’s hand from inside the diaper?
  55. But “sexuality” can be taken in several senses. What do we mean by “sexuality”? What is child sexuality?
  56. Scientific evidence (as well as your memories, you naughty boy) shows that children and babies have orgasms. Well, in my childhood, I didn’t have any because I learned that you had to think about sex to have an orgasm and sex never interested me. If I knew that I could think of other things, maybe I would have experienced one.
  57. In boys, orgasms happen without ejaculation, as ejaculation only begins to happen in puberty.

  58. Anyone can have orgasms right after being born. In fact, there’s an article called “Ultrasonographic Observation Of A Female Fetus’ Sexual Behavior In Utero” which shows that some kids masturbate before even being born, still in the mother’s womb… If you are a mother, maybe you caught your fetus’ during a moment like that, during ultrasonographic session.
  59. Children experiment with each other.
  60. It is, therefore, ridiculous to keep minors from expressing sexuality before adolescence, só much that minors themselves are the biggest offenders of age of consent laws.
  61. When the girl approaches puberty, the parents may try to keep her from getting close to the opposite gender. So, a girl has less sexual experiences in adolescence than a boy.
  62. Culturally, in the previous century, girls were overprotected, compared to boys. You used to see a lot of boys playing ball on the streets, but where were the girls? At home.
  63. The latency stage, says Kinsey, is cultural. Parents become more worried in harnessing children’ sexual curiosity when the tykes approach puberty. Rousseau even advocated delaying puberty, if possible. What a hipocrite. It’s not a natural, but a cultural exigence for the child to stay “latent” in that period of life.
  64. The proof that child sexuality doesn’t become latent before puberty is that the child still masturbates during that period.
  65. If sexuality was an adult attribute, nature wouldn’t have given absurd fertility rates to adolescents.
  66. I spend more time writing these annotations than reading the text.
  67. They had to run those studies in Brazil; a number of non-clinical samples are freshly matured for a Bruce Rind to analyse. In fact, it was already done. While the Rind Report showed that 37% of the boys and 11% of the girls agree that the experiences they had in childhood and adolescence were “positive”, the study that ran in Campinas revealed that the same statistic in Campinas, Brazil, is 57%. It’s important to remember that the demographics for the Rind Report was broad (boys and girls who had involvements with minors or adults), while the demographics for the study in Campinas was restricted (only boys, considering only involvements with adults).
  68. The problem is that no one hears about those studies, except for scientists. If the population knew about that data, the moral panic would disappear.
  69. Why Americans think that all relationships with minors are cruel and forced? Because they don’t know, nor are stimulated to know, the sexual behavior of other cultures. That also makes them impose their sexual values to weaker nations.
  70. The layman usually relies on media to learn new stuff. And it’s not in media’s interest to report those things.
  71. In isolated indigenous societies, adults masturbate infants and children, in order to give them a more gratifying sleep. Are those children suffering?
  72. In those societies, prepubescent child sexuality has no negative value, even though it’s not glorified either. A masturbating child is as normal as a child scratching an itch somewhere.
  73. Isolated indigenous societies also have sexual restrictions, but their youth also disregard such prohibitions.
  74. Even public masturbation happens, if the subject is a child.
  75. “Simulated coitus” is coitus.

  76. Yep, kids, in societies like those, have sex. If children, at least in those societies, have sex among each other, out of their own will, if left without adult supervision, then sex isn’t inherently harmful to children, says the author. Now, would such work in our society? Well, if the problem is pregnancy, there are pills for that…
  77. In some societies, the only taboo when it comes to child sexuality is incest. By the way, did you know that incestuous sex is not a crime in Brazil (despite incestuous marriage being só)?
  78. “Playing husband and wife”, Justin Bailey mode.
  79. Interesting: some indigenous people choose their future husband or wife by playing “mom and dad” when they are kids.
  80. In other societies, not having sexual expression in childhood is reason for shame. A boy who doesn’t even touch himself is shamed by his father.
  81. Despite everything, as most of those games happen before puberty, no one gets pregnant and, if someone gets pregnant, must marry.
  82. Tyke exchange.

  83. In many societies, precocious sexuality is seen as a sign of maturing.
  84. Those games happen between children only or between child and adult. And nothing of value is lost.
  85. Tyke lending.

  86. There are records of societies that practice anal sex to make the bottom strong. Well, they say you need to be a strong dude to do it; they happily endure what I can’t endure, even if I cry…
  87. Faced with that, the capitalist christian western guy could think “of course those children are being harmed, once indigenous people are retarded and don’t know what they do.” It’s etnocentrism at it’s worst. You can’t assume they are wrong just because they are indigenous; you need to study them sincerely to see if they aren’t right.
  88. There are behaviors that are worth emulating, but there are also behaviors that aren’t worth emulating. As the book’s subject is pedophilia, what matters now is, obviously, to know if the fact of those relationships being accepted in other societies is enough to grant that they would work in western cultures too, that is, if that’s enough to abolish age of consent. I wonder how many anti-contacts read this book.
  89. Why does the author bombs us with those examples of child sexual behavior? To prove us that the latency period does not exist.
  90. Funny how people discredit this book making negative propaganda of it, rather than addressing the discussion points.
  91. Learning, in humans, overwhelms instinct. A child who doesn’t have any sexual education, but rather has their sexuality harnessed, will be a sexually incompetent adult. It won’t “come naturally” when they are married. Sure, that doesn’t mean that children must be forced to sex, but should have enough room to exercise what “comes naturally” in childhood, under adult supervision. Otherwise, what used to “come naturally” will need to be re-learned.
  92. Being sexually educated by an older person improves the minor’s sexual competence. Notice how teenage pregnancy happens more between teens, cases in which the age gap is next to none. But in Japan, where age of consent is 13, a girl who is going through puberty could learn responsibility with an older partner. That reflects in their teenage pregnancy rates: only four in every one thousand mothers have their first child before age 19. From which we draw that teenage pregnancy isn’t a problem that we can solve by forbidding contact between generations, but through means of education, which can happen by approaching the more experient generation to the more excitable generation. Otherwise, teens will have children with each other.
  93. Sexual activities are just like any other game for children. Experimenting them won’t necessarely make them addicted. There other interesting things in the world.
  94. They won’t also make the child grow without common sense. They quickly learn what to not do in public.
  95. If a person enters adult life with some previous sexual experience, they will have more chances of sexual satisfaction, increasing their chances of considering themselves “happy”.
  96. That could minimize teenage crisis related to their own bodies.
  97. During adolescence, you are easily excited, but you are also forbidden of taking any meaninful action on that regard.
  98. In a more permissive society, a child matures way quicker. If you overprotect a child, you will keep them from having several experiences that could be useful later.
  99. That overprotection makes the child trust no one.
  100. To castrate a guy is like making a women into menopause: it does little effect in sexual activity. Desire isn’t a purely hormonal thing.
  101. Sexuality doesn’t begin at puberty. Everyone has sexuality. Desire doesn’t start at puberty either: it can start before or after. I feel sexual desire since age five. So, if someone argues that pedophilia is an illness and hebephilia isn’t an illness because sexuality begins at puberty, that person is monumentally wrong.
  102. Sexuality isn’t like height or weight, you can’t make a “metrics of desire”. It’s different in everyone, both in nature and intensity. And people with different sexualities may still act the same on public life.
  103. There are teleiophile children.
  104. There are children who give sincere effort into seducing adults, even if in their own way. They want contact, intimacy, even knowing that it’s wrong.
  105. Some sexual contacts between adults and children are initiated by the child.
  106. What parents do to their precocious child? In more “developed” countries, they teach the child to feel shame about themselves. I’m glad I was born in Brazil.
  107. Child sexuality may be seen as pathological depending on the person, for the same reason why pedophilia is still considered illness today: children are “innocent” and must remain só.

  108. If a parent doesn’t know how to deal with child sexuality in a constructive manner, can they really deal with other child development challenges in a constructive manner? If they make the child unhappy and blames their sexuality, that’s bad parenting.
  109. Opportunity makes the thief and also the seductive child.
  110. Adults have sex because they like it. If a child has sexuality, the same can happen to them too.
  111. There are kids playing doctor with their pet dogs.
  112. Lindy Burton speaks as if she was James Cantor’s mother.
  113. If the child needs to learn their sexuality, we can’t explain how some children develop homosexual interest without ever being taught homosexuality.
  114. There are sexually active children who aren’t even 14-year-olds.

  115. It’s a big number: kids who encourage the adult after the act begins, even in our society. The tykes were liking it.
  116. Molestation occurs, it’s just that it doesn’t happen all times.
  117. For some, children can consent.
  118. There are adults who desire children, but there are children who desire adults.
  119. It’s not a matter of obtaining license to rape, but a matter of allowing willing children to find willing responsible adults. Harmful and forced contacts should remain crime.
  120. The restriction of child sexuality is never an isolated fact. Society probably has other sexual taboos as well.

  121. Closing the subject of child sexuality, the author moves onto the subject of pedophillic relationships in society.
  122. Even if the child seeks sexual pleasure, many times they don’t see such pleasure as something different (except in intensity) from the pleasure of playing football. So, even if the goal is pleasure, the child doesn’t see those things as “sexual”. So, for many kids, the meaning of the act is different from the meaning attributed by an adult. But is that really a problem?
  123. In his blog, the author said that the third chapter was written in a deliberately provocative, that is, unsettling way. It’s hard to conceive something more unsettling than the previous chapter…
  124. Relationships between adults and minors go through stages. Generally speaking, pedophiles don’t go “straight to the point”, for lack of a better expression. Just like relationships between adults, they are slowly built. There’s a good difference between the one who falls in love and the rapist: when you are in love, you don’t just do it and walk away.
  125. Ah, yes, I see what he meant with “provocative”…
  126. The pedophile, if is really in love, won’t force the minor. If they do, it’s either a case of comorbidity or it’s a situational offender.
  127. If the involvement is affectionate, but the minor doesn’t have sexual interest, the pedophile can accept that.
  128. Again, real sexual abuse exists. But not all contacts are abusive.
  129. Pedophiles aren’t generally agressive. Rapists are.
  130. Society makes no distinction between positive and negative relationships involving children. Notice how news about statutory rape never include the “victim’s” opinion. No one is interested in what the minor thinks, even when the minor doesn’t want the adult to be punished.
  131. The child can start the act, not suffer with the act, enjoy the act and still manage to get the adult in jail.
  132. “Far from being unrestrained sex maniacs their approaches to children are almost always affectionate and gentle, and the sex acts which occur, mostly mutual display and fondling, resemble the sexual behaviour that goes on between children.” – D. J. West, Homosexuality Re-Examined.
  133. Forced sex with children is infrequent, compared to voluntary relationships. Is that why ¾ of the relationships involving minors are never found out?
  134. Go to the nearest jail and talk to people who were diagnosed with pedophilia. Then, look for their victims and ask them how was it. You can find ten victims and none of them would say “he forced me to”. Pedophiles who have a sexual contact with a child rarely force the child into it. If they did force, it’s unlikely that we are talking about a pedophile, but a regular rapist.
  135. The moral panic about pedophilia has no scientific foundation.
  136. The moral panic causes more damage to children than pedophilia itself. There’s an article at Ipce (but I forgot exactly where) about how children in United Kingdom are growing up without trusting anyone. They are growing like that because any well-meaning adult who approaches to a child is automatically weird. There was a case somewhere in which a man saw a child drowing in a river and let the kid die, because he was scared of someone seeing him grabbing her and thinking that he was a pervert. Not to mention parents who are arrested in Brazil for kissing their children.
  137. The moral panic also harms education.
  138. It’s hard for a pedophile to approach to a kid to do anything sexual with them if the kid is a stranger to them. Usually, the pedophile knows the child before the sexual contact. That’s why people say that sexual contact with children is more common with close relatives.
  139. Each line in this book spawns an annotation, that’s why I take a full hour to read a single page, oh, gosh…
  140. A pedophile doesn’t kill children.
  141. Truth is that rape followed by murder is rare. It’s not something that happens as often as people think. For example, according to the Rind Report, traumatic sexual contacts involving people below age of consent, in United States, are statistical minority, with a sizeable statistic of people who consider those contacts as “positive”. A similar study took place in Brazil. But what do you see on TV? Only trauma. You don’t see news like “8-year-old boy showers with his father and comes out unharmed” or “10-year-old boy is satisfied after going in a date with a 16-year-old girl.” That gives the impression that traumatic events are common.
  142. What does a pedophile do to a child, then? Usually, just fondling. A study made by Paul Gebhard with people who were arrested for sexual contact with minors under age 12 reveals that 94% of those who did it to girls and 97% of those who did it to boys didn’t penetrate the child through vaginal or anal means. Most cases involved manual stimulation, which can even not be mutual, that is, only the child receives the action. If that’s the case, the adult wasn’t touched by the child. Important: not all pedophiles fondle children, with a good amount of them preferring to stay law-abading for obvious reasons.
  143. The pedophile waits until the child shows interest. If the child has no interest, he won’t do anything sexual to the kid. Reminder: the book is about pedophilia, not rape.
  144. Rapists usually already exhibit dangerous behavior even before raping.
  145. People who rape children (real rape, that is, forced sexual activity) may very well be people who prefer adults and, while drunk and in absence of adult partners, take advantage of a child. However, if you prefer adults, you, by definition, aren’t a pedophile. You fail at the diagnosis.
  146. But positive relationships involving minors aren’t an exclusive merit to pedophiles. There are positive relationships between adults and minors in which the adult doesn’t have a preference for minors.
  147. The author admits, however, that there are pedophiles who rape, just like not every heterosexual men is automatically kind to women.
  148. Sexual attraction is normally followed by feelings of being in love. So, if an adult feels sexually attracted to a child, may as well fall in love with the kid. When you love, you don’t want to hurt.
  149. The pedophile, even when not wanting anything sexual, builds friendship with kids.
  150. Common rapists and child rapists usually are more interested in causing pain than achieving sexual pleasure.
  151. There was a time when “pedófilo” (pedophile), in Aurélio Dictionary, meant “person who likes children.”
  152. Pedophilia (love for children) is not misopedia (hate towards children).
  153. For some psychiatrists, pedophilia is a mental disorder in which the subject needs a minor’s cooperation to achieve orgasm. If you force, there’s no cooperation, once cooperation is to operate together, actively. The minor must enjoy it, otherwise it’s no fun for the pedophile either. Thus, the pedophile can not intimidate the child.

  154. Now, that means that the pedophile may treat the child better than other adults would.
  155. The author reminds that not all pedophiles are kind like that, just like not every heterosexual adult is kind towards women.
  156. If those relationships are really harmless, why are they forbidden? You see, the west is scared of non-normative displays of sexuality. See for how long homosexuality was considered taboo. And only now we began to discuss gender identity.
  157. Many people are scared of pedophilia because they are scared of homosexuality. “Won’t that make my child turn gay?” However, when still young, a boy feels attracted to pleasure, not to a specific gender. There’s no necessary causation between relationships in childhood and the development of a non-normative sexuality. If a boy already made up their mind, the pedophile, if they really care about children, will have to respect it.
  158. It’s been two hours since I began my daily reading of this book and I couldn’t fill my quota of ten pages a day.
  159. The fear of an object may be worse than the very object, like a phobia.
  160. A lot of information that people have about pedophilia is no more than myth.
  161. To turn a positive experience into negative, you can start by saying that the person is a victim. Treating a person like a victim will make them feel like a victim.
  162. If the minor is enjoying, they aren’t a “participant victim”, says the author, but just participant. Not a victim of the act (but could very well be a victim of someone eles).
  163. The use of a term such as “participant victim” may be an attempt on the researcher’s part to not sound like he is fine with those relationships. The Rind Report is against that kind of terminology.
  164. Those relationships, if not forced and if the minor is a “participant victim”, that is, if the minor wants those relationships, do not pose a problem to adult life.
  165. There are children who prefer being around adults.
  166. If the child almost never suffers with those contacts, but starts seeing them as bad after growing up, then the phenomenon is thanks to interpretation, not to the act, which varies according to social context. For example: the lowest age of consent in Mexico is 12. Do you really think that all those teens who had a relationship at age 12 grow up and think “dang, that dude took advantage of me”? From which we draw that secondary victimization has roots in how society views the act. The person who told the minor that they are a victim and managed to convince them is the one to blame.
  167. If the child is raped, they receive love and support from friends and family. If the child had a harmless sexual contact and feels good about it, friends and family will try to make the child feel shame over what happened.
  168. Despite that, a lot of tykes grow up without feeling bad for what happened.
  169. If the parents are cold and rigid and the child finds warmth in the companion of another adult, how do you think those parents would react if they find it out? They will treat the child twice as worse than before.
  170. When a person is “raped”, they are submitted to a forensic exam. They grab your genitals and maybe stick something up your rectum. Maybe more than once. Not to mention the interrogatory and the parents’ inflamed response. Is it really worth it to make the child go through that if they didn’t suffer because of the “rape”? Maybe the adult had just fondled the kid. And then the forensic doctor comes and shoves his finger up the tyke. What is worse?
  171. The person might be the best person in the world, they automatically become a monster the moment people discover about their pedophilia.
  172. Society reaction may severely victimize the minor. It’s not worth it to “protect” the minor from sexual contacts before a certain age as long as the minor doesn’t feel bad for those contacts nor is forced into them.
  173. Adults may order the minor to produce false evidence. Do you want to ruin a person? Make your 13-year-old child say that they were molested by said person.
  174. If the minor says that they are in a positive relationship with an adult, the parents may take the case to trial. If the parents win, the adult is sent to jail and the relationship ends. If the parents lose it, the child is labelled as liar, because one can have the impression that the relationship never happened at all.
  175. Even seeing the harm caused to the child, there are parents who say “I would make him go through all that again.”
  176. There are forensic doctors who refuse to run invasive exams in children who didn’t suffer with the relationship. The kids already suffer enough with the parents’ overreaction, with the loss of an adult friend and with the interrogatory.

  177. What if the pedophile is also a minor?
  178. There are people, even today, who say that it’s better to die than to live with sequelae of childhood sexual relationships. Those people are, effectively, telling all people who had a sexual relationship in childhood, positive or not, to commit suicide.
  179. If the minor does not “confess”, they are lying. Threat them and maybe they will say the truth. It’s for their own good.
  180. The treatment given to the minor by the police may traumatize them.
  181. Judges, police, therapists, parents, no one wants to know what the child thinks about those contacts. See, for example, the psychologist who killed their patient.
  182. Pedophilia is a romantic, sometimes sexual, attraction to children. Pederasty is the act of an adult who has sexual relations with a boy.
  183. All of the problems exposed in chapter three would be avoided if we didn’t presume that the pedophile is someone who will inevitably do harm to a child or if we didn’t presume that the minor in an relationship with an adult is necessarely a victim.
  184. The author says that there’s no medical term to designate a child who feels sexually attracted to adults. He wrote his book in the eighties. Nowadays, there’s one word: “teleiophile”. Though teleiophile also apply to adult-attracted adults.
  185. Considering that a child is capable to display sexuality in unpredicable forms, maybe labelling a child’s sexuality is a futile effort.
  186. Hebephilia and ephebophilia aren’t pedophilia.

  187. There are women who feel sexual arousal when breast-feeding.

  188. Is it worth it to separate minor-attracted people in cathegories such as: minor, adult, nepiophile, pedophile, hebephile, ephebophile, teleiophile, pro-contact, anti-contact, exclusive, inclusive? The question is: won’t their similarities outweight their differences, to the point of making it viable to use a term to designate them generally (albeit with some reservations)?
  189. Most people who are arrested in child sexual abuse charges are not pedophiles.
  190. The use of legal samples in researches about pedophilia is practically useless.
  191. Out of all pedophiles who really are pedophiles, that is, who have romantic feelings towards the minor, only one percent is ever arrested, according to the book. It’s helped by the fact that you don’t hurt when you are in love. So, a lot of pedophiles prefer to abstain than taking the risk of violent rupture by the police, which could harm the minor or stigmatize them. For the RBT trio, that number is something around 25%.
  192. That shows that age of consent laws not only may harm the minor, but also are of little use to keep relationships from happening before certain age. If the minor enjoys it, they will behave normally and the parents may even not notice. How to report something you can not detect? Plus, if the child is really being abused, their behavior will change evidently, the parents would know and investigate. Isn’t it the sane option to punish only negative contacts?
  193. But wait: if a lot of pedophiles aren’t ever punished and most arrested abusers aren’t pedophiles, who are the people who are being punished by the law? Parents, maybe?
  194. You just need to be unlucky to be arrested for statutory rape. You don’t even need to have commited statutory rape.
  195. The number of crimes exceed the law’s capacity to deal with them. See our Senate.
  196. You don’t need to be a pedophile to see no problem with those relationships, if the minor wants them and doesn’t suffer as consequence.
  197. The police can manipulate a sentence.
  198. In the eighties, many adults would doctrinate their eight or nine-year-old girls to see their life purpose as living in function of men.
  199. There was little study on positive relationships.
  200. Media plays it’s role in censoring those positive accounts, through means of selective information. I call it “passive censorship”. You don’t keep people from seeing it, but never speaks about it’s existence, só they don’t look for it.
  201. Some forms of censorship are done under the guise of protection the population against “disturbing content”. Gotta be strong, indeed! That’s why people don’t make documentaries on animal killing sites (where you get your chicken from), unless it’s done by an independent team.
  202. Projects about positive sexual experiences between adults and minors still happen. Titus Rivas’ “Positive Memories”, for example, still receives new experiences, which may or not appear in the next edition of his book (the latest edition is from 2016). And there’s also this, though this one ended.
  203. A number of children grow up without knowing what is pedophilia. They may hear the word, but not know what that means.
  204. A pedophile in a relationship with a child, taking all care só that the child likes it, feels good and don’t suffer may still think: “other pedophiles probably wouldn’t act like I do, my relationship is an exception, só we shouldn’t allow all of those relationships, they must remain illegal.” So, he approves his own relationship and condemns all others, even if he doesn’t know how others act. It’s classic case of nurturing prejudice against your own kind. Why don’t you do some research?
  205. A person who is friends with a pedophile and knows that the pedophile wouldn’t hurt a child, even by getting involved with the tyke, could still ask: “and what about the other pedophiles, would they be as kind as you are?” But the author says that you can’t talk about what you don’t know. If I don’t know how others act, how can I presume that they are less scrupulous?
  206. It’s true that some minors grow up and see those experiences as negative, just like that are some who grow up and see those experiences as positive. But a topic that is seldom discussed is how those minors see the arrest, if the adult happens to be arrested. There are minors who find it unfair, like that boy with a weird name. Effectively, some grow up and ask the judge to reconsider.
  207. Minors who had positive relationships may grow up and not think it’s wrong for their own children to have contacts with adults.
  208. Those relationships aren’t purely sexual. There are caring and romantic elements.
  209. In positive relationships, the minors do not experience fear.
  210. Puberty is an uncomfortable experience for some adolescents, but others see in it a reason to take pride.
  211. A minor may assume seductive behavior and only notice that they were being seductive after growing up and recalling the experience.
  212. An opinion among minors who had positive relationships: the adult must respect the limits imposed by the minor. It reflects in the responsible boy love morals and in Rivas’ ethic criteria.
  213. “But enjailed pedophiles admit that those relationships were abusive”, says the critics. To which the author replies: “my child, anyone can say anything to lower the number of years they still must spend in prison.” If a false confession can make things easier for them, they will confess whatever.
  214. Can a child reciprocate love, specially if erotic? The belief that no, a child can not, is what makes a number of pedophiles feel that any expression of erotic love towards an “innocent” child is automatically predatory. That sensation of affection unbalance makes the pedophile deny himself.
  215. So, the anti-contact movement didn’t begin now. It’s way older than Virtuous Pedophiles.
  216. There are people who wake up to sexuality during childhood and people who wake up to sexuality only in adulthood.
  217. In a adult/minor relationship, the minor (as long as not forced) ends up feeling like he has the same authority as the adult. The sensation of authority subversion may confuse the adult. “I’m either abusing of my power or the kid has as much power as I do.” It looks wrong in both ways: in the first case, there’s abuse of power; in the second case, there’s a subversion of the hierarchy between adult and minor.
  218. Anedoctal evidence shows that a child can love an adult more than said adult loves the child.
  219. The minor, says the author, can benefit from that intimacy more than the adult.
  220. For some people, love and affection are different things.
  221. A machist belief is that women do not have an own sexuality, that their sexuality must be awaken by a man. That myth is similar to the belief that children do not have sexuality and, if a child shows interest, that’s because the kid was corrupted by an adult.
  222. That belief makes the misinformed person think that lesbians do not exist. Analogically, that same person may think that sexuality begins at puberty, which is not true.
  223. A lesbian can go her whole life without noticing that what she feels towards other women is sexual.
  224. Because women are stimulated to take care of their children and love them and take care of their intimate parts, a pedophile woman may think “I can’t be a pedophile, other women do those same things, they must get the same feelings, I’m just being a mother.” A woman who is sexually attracted to her children goes almost unnoticed, because there’s not a lot of difference between the female pedophile behavior and the normal female behavior.
  225. Is it really needed to separate loving acts in “sexual” and “non-sexual”?
  226. An act may be sexual, done to a child and still be beneficial. If a mother feels sexual pleasure when caring for her child, that care is sexual. But would the child grow better without such care? If a woman stopped changing her baby’s diapers or stopped bathing him because his nudity arouses her, would it do any good to the child?
  227. If an act is sexual or not, does it make any difference, from the minor’s point of view?
  228. There are people who think that female pedopiles do not exist.
  229. That’s because people think that pedophiles rape. So, a woman, with people thinking she is less inclined to rape, isn’t accused of pedophilia, despite having the condition and despite being sexually involved with a minor. As long as it’s not penetrative, she’s pretty “safe”. Double-safe if she’s a girl lover. But, hey, don’t go around breaking laws, that would still be illegal!
  230. A person may be homosexual and adopt a “heterosexual life style”. In that case, she acts heterosexually due to social pressure, not because of natural inclination.

  231. Bibliographic reference: Paedophilia: The Consequences for the Child.
  232. Aversion therapy is horrible and doesn’t work. You come out worse than when you came in.

  233. If on one hand some experts admit that adult/child intimacy can be beneficial to both, those same experts, on the other hand, still think it shouldn’t be allowed, even in presence of benefit. For an example, see “What’s Wrong With Adult-Child Sex?”, by David Finkelhor.
  234. Critics of the movement say that pedophiles who defend those relationships are seeing the child as someone who only needs pleasure, ignoring that they also need fun, education and non-sexual forms of intimacy. But the author says that those things are complementary, not mutually excludent.

  235. Critics of the movement say that pedophiles who defend those relationships are seeing the child as someone who only needs pleasure, ignoring that they also need fun, education and non-sexual forms of intimacy. But the author says that those things are complementary, not mutually excludent.

  236. Adults, for example, have an expressive sexual life, compared to the child, and that doesn’t keep adults from improving their education, having fun or nurturing non-sexual forms of intimacy. From which we draw that sexuality isn’t inimical to human improvement.
  237. Is there medical evidence that adult/minor relationships are more harmful to the involved parties than adult/adult relationships, if said relationships are painless, uncoerced, desired by the minor and approved by the parents?
  238. What’s the point of restraining child sexual expression?

  239. There seems to have no mental or physical reason for that, only social. But if there’s benefit and all harm comes from society, then it’s society who needs to change, when it comes to child sexual expression.
  240. The author says that he would get sympathy from the most hostile readers if he wrote more about love. He should have done that; all this talk about sex is making me queasy. Does he have a book solely about love?

  241. He didn’t write more about love because that could reinforce the sensation that love and eroticism are opposing forces.
  242. The opposition between love and erotism can give birth to serious interpersonal problems. Let’s suppose that you “love that chick só much” that you would “never have sex with her”. John Money argues that, in doing that, the man will look for “less valuable” women to satisfy himself, in order to carry a chaste relationship with the girl he really likes. Does that make any sense? That’s why some men regularly have intercourse with prostitutes; they are too embarrassed in front of the women they really like to actually have sex with them.
  243. Child sexual repression benefits psychiatric industry.
  244. Sexual repression doesn’t end in childhood. It goes on. That’s why the sexual life of some couples can be a disaster, when either party has moral problems or doesn’t know what to do.
  245. A example of such is the woman who finds it difficult to achieve orgasm.
  246. Another example of the association between sex and guilt is the man who feels like he needs to do an excellent job. He becomes obsessed with penis size, how long he can remain erect, if he can or not control ejaculation. Sex then becomes a source of anxiety, rather than pleasure.

  247. So, childhood sexual repression may even cause impotence in adult life. The person didn’t want to like sex and then, at the time it was needed to like it, could not find any pleasure in it.
  248. Yates blames the parents for that.

  249. Child sexual repression can harm school grades. If a child had freedom to express and explore his sexuality, as long as he didn’t offend legal boundries, many children wouldn’t need therapy. Remember how sexual repression can harm adults. Why would it be different with children?
  250. Sexual therapy consists in introducing the adult to sexual practices that he was supposed to have practiced in childhood, not unlike playing doctor or self-fondling.
  251. Don’t you tell me that you never did anything “naughty” when you were a kid.
  252. Sexual repression may lead to sexualization of things that aren’t sexual in nature. Fetishes.
  253. Even though fetishes may also appear due to intense exposition to some object during childhood, such as diaper fetish or my omorashi fetish.
  254. There’s a difference between sexual aberration (atypical, but harmless sexual behavior, such as foot fetish and paraphillic infantilism) and sexual perversion (atypical and harmful sexual behavior, such as sexual murder and rape).
  255. The pedophile who wrote this book says that pedophilia isn’t better than any other sexual deviance not motivated by desire to hurt. He is doing the opposite of what homosexuals did to pedophiles who took part in the gay liberation movement, back in seventies and eighties. When the american congress said that it would take the homosexual exigences seriously if they cut connections with pedophilia advocacy organizations, homosexuals promptly did só, trying to gain public approval by buying the discourse that pedophilia is bad. The younger gay people, who are unaware of the LGBT movement’s history, ignore that fact, but, yes, there was a time when the gay liberation movement and the pedophile movement were almost the same thing. The gay liberation pathriarcs didn’t see intergenerational relationships as morally wrong.
  256. What if a sadist, who has a desire to hurt, marries a masochist, who has a desire to be hurt? Well, good for them, I hope you guys are happy.
  257. The only wrong relationships are the forced ones.
  258. Lack of loving tactile stimulation is associated to violent behavior in adulthood. Hug your son.
  259. “Prescott’s work throws an interesting light on the common assumption that sex and violence always go together, an inseparable double act, like Laurel and Hardy.” That’s the weirdest metaphor for this kind of discussion.

  260. A person’s sexual attitude depends on how she’s sexually educated in childhood. If a child associated sexuality with gentleness, warmth and affection, she will demonstrate her sexuality that way. If the child associated sexuality with guilt, she will push sexuality away. If she associated sexuality with violence, at same time she associates violence with power… Well, you got his point.
  261. If the solution for violent behavior was sexual repression, christian societies should have less cases of rape than indigenous societies, where we see less repression. In fact, many extremely violent people are also extremely sexually conservative.

  262. The four preceding chapters were about child sexuality, how people think that adult/child relationships work, how they really work and the child’s need for sexual expression. Now, how should the law deal with those things?

  263. Society keeps denying that children are sexual beings. Seven-year-old boys watching porn? No, that’s an isolated case. Twelve-year-old girls sharing nudes? Ah, that’s an education problem… Students hinting at teachers? That’s what the left wants you to think, boy! If we keep ignoring child sexuality, laws will continue to behave erratically.

  264. The damage in a positive relationship can only be social. Positive, not talking about rape.
  265. A number of people, including pedophiles, are against legalization because they see it as utopic. The author’s goal in the sixth chapter is to propose a realistic way to deal both in intergenerational relationships and child sexuality.
  266. Many laws made to protect women were grounded on the belief that they are the weaker gender. Consequently, those laws, that kept the woman from working in certain areas, ended up restricting their access to jobs that they actually were capable of taking. A law is unjust if based on prejudice.
  267. That kind of law doesn’t protect, but submits.
  268. In name of “protection”, the child isn’t heard. Doesn’t matter if the child likes the adult or if she doesn’t feel harmed; it’s wrong, period. That’s also the behavior of some children’s right advocates. They take away your freedom and put it in the hands of authorities. Can any good thing come out of that? Would you put your freedom in the hands of an authority? Is that protection?
  269. If social services can not convince you that it’s needed to punish the adult, sucks for you, bro. Doesn’t matter if you are the boy’s father, you are wrong if you say that the adult in a relationship with your child, even if it’s a trusted adult, doesn’t need to be punished. You, father, doesn’t know what is best for your child.
  270. “If you don’t plead guilty, we will continue bringing your little crush here, to another forensic exam, another interrogatory, he will skip another day of school, his friends will treat him differently, his relationship with his parents will continue deteriorating, and, in the end, it’s really all your fault, even the boy desired that, even if he responded well, because he is actually sad, he just doesn’t know that yet.”

  271. The author’s main proposal is age of consent abolishment. Normally, that means that minors would be under the same protections of the normal rape laws (article 217 in the Brazilian Penal Code, for example).

  272. At the time when the book was written, Holland was considering age of consent abolishment. So, no, pedophiles aren’t the only people who defend that kind of thing and aren’t the only people who see problems in forbidding relationships based on age.
  273. The main defenders of such idea were the attorneys. They claimed that there’s sex (coitus) and sexual activity. Sexual activities shouldn’t be banned based on age, but penetrative sex should remain forbidden, if the passive party was younger than 12.
  274. Protestant associations also wanted the end of age of consent, but with one reservation: neither party can seduce the other; the desire had to be spontaneous in both. Catholic associations also said, back in the author’s context, that a 12-year-old can already give a final say about the relationships he takes part in.
  275. A common criticism: kids can’t consent betcause they can not say “no” a bigger, stronger adult. For a reply, see Positive Memories.
  276. Consent is a philosophical question. If it was scientific, age of consent could be the same everywhere.
  277. If the minor says no or is ambiguous, any sexual advance should be crime.
  278. The law should worry about damage and quality of the consent, rather than age of the participants. The fact that someone is under 14 (age of consent in Brazil) doesn’t imply that he’s always raped whenever he engages in sexual activity with anyone.
  279. Even if a minor can consider an act as pleasurable, that doesn’t imply that he is capable of communicating that in a decent manner.

  280. No one here wants “freedom to rape.”
  281. In some places, the age of criminal responsibility is twelve or even ten (it’s sixteen or eighteen in Brazil, I really don’t remember). So, if a person can be criminally prosecuted by her acts if she’s at least twelve, it’s because she’s mature enough to plan and act according to an evil intention. So, it makes no sense that a person who is mature enough to pay for muggery or murder be deemed immature for sexual activity.

  282. The debate gravitates the question “can the child say ‘yes’ and, if she can, is that ‘yes’ valid?”
  283. A relationships that is harmless, uncoerced, desired by the minor and approved by the parents should be allowed to continue.

  284. Those relationships do not always pose a “moral danger”.
  285. In the case of relationships between two minors, laws should be even softer.
  286. With some modification, those proposed laws can also apply to people who have mental problems and, because of that, are under care of someone eles.
  287. If the proposed conditions were violated, anyone could report the relationship. The prosecution process doesn’t need to be started by the parents.
  288. What validates age of consent is the consent, not the age. The consent takes priority.
  289. Damage of risk of damage should still be crime. Example: penetrating a girl who is simple too small is too risky to be allowed, but the same doesn’t apply to fondling. So, depending on the act and the minors physical constitution, the judge can punish a consented relationship. If there’s real damage, we can skip that part and enjail the adult immediately. For a similar conclusion, see my text Estupro de Vulnerável, in the section “Is It Possible to Consent to Harm?”.
  290. If the relationships is chaste, there’s no need to punish a rape, obviously. Even though there’s lots of women out there who pretend to have been raped and people buy into her story.
  291. People reject pedophiles without listening to them first. How can a debate be impartial if you don’t give the dude a chance to defend himself and his point of view?
  292. Nepiophile relationships (that is, with babies) would still be prohibited, even if entirely superficial and non-penetrative, not because we suppose that the baby dislikes it, but because it’s not possible to prove that he liked it either.
  293. However, there’s no need to report it, if the person who sees it notices that the baby is happy, says the author.
  294. But how can implement such changes, if kids don’t know what they getting themselves into? Well, the book was written in the eighties and we have sexual education lessons today. This generation is more sexually informed than the previous.
  295. The problem is that saying that a child doesn’t know what they are doing supposes that all sexual acts are the same. If a child is well-informed for a hug or handshake, that doesn’t imply that she’s informed to anything penetrative, but wouldn’t she be well-informed for fondling, which is friction between two skins, just like a hug or hand shake?
  296. Back when the book was writen, there was different ages of consent for heterosexuals (16) and homosexuals (21).
  297. The law treats a five-year-old like a twelve-year-old.
  298. “Those relationships are still immoral!” Define “moral”.
  299. When those proposals were made by the Paedophile Information Exchange, they got some support from lawyers.
  300. As harmful relationships would still be punished, even if consented, the responsible adult would abstain from any penetrative act.
  301. But, if 95% of pedophiles don’t want anything penetrative, while penetration is a common trait of negative relationships, shouldn’t we have an age of consent at least for penetration? There should be a minimal age for penetration as safety measure, says the author. And he says that such age is 12. So, if we were to apply that in Brazilian law, taking the article 217-A as reference, the law would be like “penetration with person under age 12, with or without consent, or libidinous act that wasn’t approved by the minor or the minor’s parents” should be crime. If we could make things flexible for conservatives, an age of consent that only applies to penetration could be higher than 14, as it wouldn’t include fondling, kissing or anything non-penetrative. Ideally, I think that an age of consent for penetration should be subject for debate in prefectures, rather than being applied nationwide.
  302. There’s a lot, a lot, of minors who do not give a flip about age of consent laws. In United States, a number of young people lose their virginity before age 15, while age of consent in United States can only be as low as 16. In the documentary “Age of Consent: Dream or Nightmare?” (thank you, Hikari), the first thing the interviewees say is that “adolescents reach age 14 with a fully developed sexual life in Brazil.” Did all those minors suffer? Maybe they would suffer more if all those relationships were found out and punished by justice. The number of minors who offend against age of consent laws is something around 1/5 of the whole population of people under 16.
  303. Sexual education can sometimes be reduced to biology: they teach you what each part of your little body do. But, as adults think that the minors would be discouraged from trying it if they remain uninformed, they teach nothing about contraception or sexually-transmitted diseases, because the more conservative see it as an encouragement to have sex. I learned those things at age 6 with my father and I had sexual education lessons in 3rd grade, if I’m not mistaken, and here I am, virgin at twenty-five. The state needs to be honest with itself: “if they are going to do it anyway, they could at least do it without screwing themselves for life.” Maybe learning that there’s a real risk discourages them. If not, they will at least do it more responsibly.
  304. Trying to suppress child sexuality to keep the kid away from trouble is like recommending celibate to an adult to keep him from getting a STD. It’s drastic, unnecessary and uncomfortable.
  305. If a teen gets a STD, he might think: “this proves that I’m no longer virgin, I may get in trouble if someone knows.” He then hides the fact that he is ill, until it’s too late.
  306. That could be fixed if child sexuality wasn’t practically illegal. Because most displays of sexuality under age 14, as “libidinous acts”, are outlawed as statutory rape.
  307. If a pedophile feels attracted to pre-pubescent minors, while his desire is rarely penetrative, then adults seldom impregnate minors. In fact, teenage pregnancy seems to be a more common occurence in young couples, rather than intergenerational couples. The attraction to pubescent minors is called hebephilia.
  308. Wow, there’s a case of a woman who got pregnant after having intercourse with a 12-year-old boy and filed “a suit for the maintenance of her child”. Cruel.

  309. In fact, how come that woman wasn’t arrested for statutory rape? Women can, but men can not? Talk about isonomy. Of course, that wouldn’t happen in Brazil, because a 12-year-old boy can not be held legally responsible for his acts. But such thing can happen in a place where age of legal responsibility is lower than age of consent.
  310. With or without age of consent, teenage pregnancy won’t disappear without decent sexual education lessons.
  311. The declaration of the rights of the child, by UN, implies the state and parental control exercised over the child is always done in the kid’s best interests. Chapter seven wants to know to what extent that’s true.

  312. Many times, the child can make a good decision without her parents or the state. Maybe a choice made by parents or state ends up being worse than a choice that the child could have done herself in the same situation. Not to mention the cases in which parents and state cause harm to the child on purpose.

  313. The child’s fragility has been used as excuse to not grant the kid’s rights.
  314. There’s a lot of similarities between older children and adults.

  315. If a child commits a criminal offense, maybe they are just “having trouble growing up”. In such case, the parents could deal with it better than the law, which should be a last resort.
  316. The conflict between parental authority and state authority can not be solved by simply expanding parental authority.
  317. “That man is crazy; a kid never knows what is good for himself!” What about the cases in which the child is legally forced to stay with a foster parent that is up to beating her to death after a divorce? The child says “I don’t want to stay with her, cause she beats me up”, but state says “your mom and your dad decide that for you, because it’s their right and it’s my duty to ensure that everyone has access to their rights.” Everyone, but you, tyke.
  318. The natural mother is not always the best available mother.
  319. Is the author suggesting that kids should have same rights as adults? No, but some key rights are needed. For example, a child should have the right to choose with which parent he wants to stay with in the case of divorce, but that doesn’t mean that the kid should also have the right to vote, for example.
  320. Childhood is a relatively new thing. Such concept didn’t always exist. “Childhood” only began to exist in 17th Century. How things used to be before that?
  321. Before 17th Century, adults has some sexual play with children, such as touching their genitals, not very different from brazilian parents before 2009.
  322. If a child is an asexual being, why do conservative parents feel the need to punish a kid’s masturbation? If children are asexual, why do they masturbate? From which we draw that the childhood “innocence”, that is, child asexuality is not natural. Child are sexual beings.
  323. How to conciliate child purity with child corruptibility? If she’s pure, how can she corrupt itself?
  324. We see children differently today, but the way we see them now isn’t the correct way. We are judging children for what we feel they should be, not for what they actually are.
  325. Were all the historical adult/child relationships abusive?
  326. The child’s potential is limited only by social expectations.
  327. Indigenous children mature quicker in terms of responsibility and physical aptitude. Why not ours? Our society doesn’t want the child to mature before eighteen. They deny that children are made to mature and have different paces of development. “You are too young to know what you want.”
  328. It’s obvious that it has roots in the capitalistic system: the child needs to study to have a good job and, to do só, she needs protection. But society, presuming that children know nothing, overprotects the kid, which effectively keeps them from learning any adult thing (supposing that they don’t find out themselves). That overprotection hinders the kid’s development, which will have a consequence in adult life.
  329. If the child can not have a job, she should at least help on household chores.
  330. Our society keeps children as children, forgetting that they are soon-to-be adults.
  331. Parents don’t want children helping them at their jobs.
  332. There are three options for the growing child: neglect studies and work earlier, persevere in studies and work later, or juggle job and studies at same time.
  333. The child receives a fate, rather than making one.
  334. The child, says the author, should have the right to choose his or her parents. In practice, that should happen by granting them the right to run away from home and put themselves for adoption.
  335. It’s madness to advocate that, unless the nuclear family faces crisis.
  336. If we lived in a huge community, like a huge family (communal upbringing), instead of small families, raising a child would be easier to the natural parents and the kid could look for an adult that he or she loved more, with whom they could better develop their potential. It was like that in Middle Age, am I right?
  337. The children’s rights revolution does not have public education as starting point.
  338. Hippie communities, in the ’60s, gave complete sexual freedom to children… but also freedom to use drugs, to play with loaded guns and to skip classes if they wanted to, which made kids grow up illiterate. So, says the author, we must not mistake children’s rights with child irresponsibility. Which rights to give?
  339. The hippie movement had a lot of stuff that worked well, but we don’t hear much about it. We only remember hippies as high naked people.
  340. For example, hippie children were almost independent, they almost didn’t need from parents to do anything.

  341. Children who are given a lot of freedom just “deal with it”. Maybe the lack of ability to deal with adulthood that some adults feel has roots in overprotection in childhood.
  342. The author regrets not having children of his own. Of course.
  343. We fear anarchy.
  344. Adults are educated to educate.
  345. “Today, I take care of your child and you take care of mine.” Hey, that’s pretty good.
  346. We won’t know what rights to give to our children if we don’t think about what kind of adult we want them to be, even if they grow up and reject our model. The way we raise children is making them ill. Rethinking that upbringing requires us to rethink our expectations for children.
  347. Even if parents have privileges over the children, the roles can revert in certain occasions if such is needed for the well-being of the family members.
  348. Each family member must have responsibilities and privileges. The child isn’t a slave.
  349. A person’s rights aren’t inherent to their role in family.
  350. The child’s rights must not interfere with the father’s rights. A right can only be granted to a minor if the minor wouldn’t end up ruining himself by abusing of that right.
  351. Parents make mistakes, meaning that their law is fallible. So, a parent’s demand must harbor a degree of flexibility, if it becomes clear that his demands are going against the family’s best interest.
  352. If the child wants something that may do her harm, but won’t hurt her, make her ill or kill her, allow her to have it and feel the consequences. For example: staying up late despite having to go to school early next day. The boy will feel tired and will notice that the father’s orders do make sense. That builds trust.
  353. Parents have the duty to tend to the minor if the demand if just.

  354. A person can decide about his or herself and his or her conduct as long at it doesn’t interfere with the decisions and conduct of others. I believe that the child’s rights are limited by the parents’ responsibility to look after the kid.
  355. Everyone should be equally free (what I can’t do, you also can not), but one’s advantages should be used to diminish the disadvantage of someone eles.
  356. The child’s participation in society must increase according to the child’s development. There’s no need to leave all rights and duties for adulthood.
  357. To participate in society, one must have a sense of fairness, even if not fully developed.
  358. A child has adult abilities, but in lesser scale. The kid’s is often smarter than we think.
  359. You can only interfere with a child’s behavior if the kid gives you some proof that your intervention is needed, or eles the kid is going to regret it. A type of non-intrusive education like that already exists on Emílio (Rousseau), but not like that.
  360. “The child is incapable, that’s why they can’t have rights!” Prove that they are incapable.
  361. Do you worry about what the kids want or do you always act despite children’s aims and aspirations?

  362. It’s not a matter of always doing what the child wants, but to take their opinion in consideration.

  363. But how does this whole discussion contributes to the field of child sexuality? It’s because libidinous acts, specially if non-penetrative, are generally harmless and we worry too much about them. There are other, more important areas of child behavior that do not receive the same attention, despite being more controversial in nature.
  364. “Our strong taboo about adult-child sex has led to the application of the most severe penalties to even the most innocent acts of affection. The penalty isn’t appropriate to the crime and probably neither cures nor deters. We can and should decriminalize sexual relations between consenting people. Assault and kidnapping laws already on the books would cover the cases which involve force, abduction or abuse. The remaining cases are better dealt with by improved sex education, enlightened sexual attitudes, and an increased respect for children’s rights.” – Richard Farson.
  365. The child must have the right to refuse those relations. But, to do só, the kid must be educated to say “no” when they don’t want it. My nephew is pretty unruly, I think he would learn quick. In fact, he is a twelve-year-old, 1,75m-tall, weights 67kg and attends to muay thai lessons, while I’m a 25-year-old, 1,72m-tall, weight 58kg and had some karate lessons when I was a teen. If he, by any chance, decided to force me, I think I would have trouble saying no to such a war tank. If he punched me, I would be ripped in half.
  366. How will the tyke give informed consent if we don’t inform him?
  367. Sex shame helps to hide sexual abuse.
  368. What really keeps a pedophile from acting according to their sexuality isn’t the law (which doesn’t catch him most of the times, as previously seen and currently confirmed by studies such as the Rind Report), but the fear of being rejected by the child. If the pedophile really falls in love with the child, doing something that could disturb the tyke would make the pedophile feel guilty, even if the pedophile was never arrested.
  369. The child’s body can, metaphorically, say “no” as well: you wouldn’t do any penetration to a five-year-old girl, right? That would traumatize her.
  370. Gender roles are an attempt at suppressing homosexuality.
  371. It’s unhealthy that society is só obsessed with being “normal”.
  372. The fear that people feel upon hearing that two men or two women are raising a child isn’t a fear that the adults may be irresponsible or that the child will grow up unhappy, but a fear that the child won’t adhere to the desired stereotype.
  373. How is the sexual life of someone who doesn’t get sexually involved with anyone? There are not many studies about that.
  374. The child who lives with a single parent may feel socially pressured. When the teacher says “draw your family”, the child may draw a father and a mother just because that’s what everyone eles is drawing.
  375. Sexual education is incomplete.
  376. Parents who care too much about minimal dangers end up neglecting important things that they were supposed to teach to their child.
  377. When will you teach your daughter about contraception? After she’s pregnant?
  378. Nuclear family isn’t ideal.
  379. The Paedophile Information Exchange protagonized campaigns for corporal punishment abolishment in schools. I bet you didn’t know that.
  380. Nuclear family is just the traditional form of family. There are alternative family structures.

  381. The Declaration of the Rights of the Child silences about the child’s right of sexual expression. So, some people from United States proposed that the child should have eight rights related to sexuality: legal protection, control over his or her own body, sexual information, emotional growth, sensual pleasure, learning about love, choice of partner, protection against sexual suppression.
  382. Chapter is eight is maybe the most relevant today, as it’s about consent. For some schoolars, the consent issue is the only thing on which the status of illegality of adult-child sex is grounded.
  383. Consent is only valid if:

    1. the minor is aware of short and long-term consequences;

    2. the minor knows what he wants and from who he wants;

    3. the minor can refuse if desired.

  384. If someone had the feeling that there are children who fulfill all three criteria, they would promptly come up with a fourth.
  385. There are adults in good physical and mental condition who do not fulfill all requirements for consent. So, coming up with a fourth element could harm the impartiality of a debate or, at least, could harm the notion of informed consent between adults.

  386. The actual problem that children have and adults do not is the third element. Can a child, being smaller and weaker, say no?
  387. And what about the child’s willingness to participate (taking in consideration that such thing happens)?

  388. Non-penetrative relationships are harmless: a child who is informed enough to receive a hug or handshake, is informed for a kiss or fondling, even if intimate. In the end, it’s just the contact between two skins, no more than that. Where are those “consequences”?

  389. Non-penetrative relationships, if done in mutual agreement, are way less dangerous than walking on a busy road or going out at night in the city I live in (the chance of you being murdered is higher than the chance being mugged here). And I see kids doing those all the time. Remember that 12-year-old boy who underwent hormone therapy to look like a girl? He regretted it. And went through surgery to remove the breasts he developed. Good thing he didn’t remove his dink, huh? The point is, no one complains about kids doing things that are way more dangerous than being intimate of the adults they like.

  390. The greater risk in consenting relationships is the social stigma. If found out, the child may be traumatized thanks to the reaction of parents, authorities or social services. It’s important to remember that we are now discussing relationships in which the minor desires to take part in or those that are initiated by the minor. The author isn’t saying that rape is alright.
  391. But if a positive human relationship deserve protection, it’s not the relationship that is wrong, but the social attitude towards it. To forbid those relationships is like sayd that homosexuality must be repressed “in the homosexual’s best interest”, that is, because society is full of homophobes. “We don’t want the homosexual to suffer, só we should keep them from acting according to their sexuality because, even if they don’t suffer from the relationships alone, they will suffer because of homophobia.” Doesn’t that sound absurd?
  392. The real damage of those relationships do not justify age of consent laws, nor the use of documents to prove consent.
  393. If the child says no, carrying on is illegal. If the child appears to be ambiguous or doubtful, it should also be illegal. Maybe is no.
  394. Currently, even if the child fulfills the three requisites, it’s still illegal.
  395. Is it interesting that the only time when we speak about kid consent is sex, and only to say that they can never consent? Can a child give informed consent in having faith? Nonetheless, religion is forced upon the child by the parents.
  396. An indigenous child who was initiated into sexuality may be seen as corrupted, but a child who learns to be fanatical about a soccer team or about a religious doctrine isn’t seen as corrupted.
  397. That happens because that kind of manipulation is seen as positive. Given the harmlessness of sexuality, why can’t sexual initiation also be seen as positive?
  398. If there was one religion that celebrated such behavior, it would quickly become a matter of serious state deliberation.
  399. Religious doctrination brings more risks to the minor than a relationship with an adult who loves the minor.
  400. Adult/minor relationships won’t necessarely include manipulation. Adult/adult relationships aren’t necessarely free from manipulation.
  401. There are minors who spend sincere effort into manipulating an adult.
  402. Maybe you are already “initiated”, but doesn’t remember só.
  403. You can speak about positive relationships and the person you are talking to may rush to say it’s a lie, as if positive outcomes never happened. That’s the case of therapists who “explain” a minor’s experience giving it a negative meaning.
  404. “Infantophile” = nepiophile.

  405. Some people will never be convinced, no matter the evidence.
  406. You can’t kiss a child. Many parents prefer to hit the kid instead.
  407. It’s easier to suffer a trauma thanks to a parent who punishes your sexuality than thanks to an adult who showed you how it’s done. Before going on, I must remind you that those relationships are illegal and it would be unethical to have them.
  408. Manipulation doesn’t work if the target doesn’t want to be manipulated. The target must stay open to the manipulator and judge if they are worth trust.
  409. Encouragement is a kind of manipulation.
  410. To throw a child in a pool in hopes of making the kid learn to swim the hard way can be as traumatic as a rape and, as long as the kid doesn’t drown, it won’t be seen as criminal offense.

  411. If the act is harmless, uncoerced, desired by the minor and approved by the parents, what’s the need of police intervention?
  412. If the minor says no, a “real” pedophile would accept the no. That rings a bell!
  413. If you are twelve, you already know when a person wants something sexual from you. The minor’s understanding of things grows up with him. A 12-year-old isn’t as naïve as a 6-year-old, that is, if naïve children still exist.
  414. For a pedophile, sexuality is a secondary element; his relationship with children may be completely chaste.
  415. If something is education or “child grooming”, depends on the culture.
  416. The word “seduction” (sedução), in English and Dutch, has a negative charge. Strange. It doesn’t have a negative charge in Portuguese…
  417. Supposing that seduction didn’t exist, that is, if there was no request, no deliberate attraction, the “hey, I’m here, existing”, the hinting at, how the flip would our relationships even begin?
  418. Attraction between adults and adolescents (hebephilia or ephebophilia, when the adult feels attracted, or teleiophilia, when it’s the adolescent who feels attracted to the adult) is more common and is not seen as abnormal. Nonetheless, it may be illegal. In Brazil, where age of consent is 14, ephebophilia meets no legal barriers, nor hebephilia, as long as the pubescent is at least 14.
  419. A lot of adults adults do bribe, manipulate and force children for their own good, such as taking preventive shots against whatever illness. The author here is implying that the disgust towards sexual “manipulation” is only possible if the person sees sex as negative. Precocious sex is negative, which makes sexual manipulation negative. If society had less sex shame, it wouldn’t be like that, as the child has their will bent all the time anyway. The difference is that the pedophile doesn’t force the minor. So, if the pedophile can not get a “yes” from the child, unless he is a rapist, he will give up. Here, talking about positive relationships; manipulation for sake of sex alone is still bad.
  420. The minor’s “yes” and “no” must have legal support.
  421. Semantically, “consent” is the approval of an act that involves the consenting person. Any law that imposes a limitation to one’s freedom must do só for a good reason. So, if a law criminalized a large number of consented activities, it’s the law that must offer a justification for the criminalization, as it’s interfering with a large number of particular contracts that are freely stablished. In such conditions, law must be reexamined.
  422. “Puberty” is not “pubescence”. Puberty is a moment in an adolescent’s life when he becomes capable of procreation. Pubescnece is the development of secondary sexual characteristics (fur, breasts, muscle mass and só on).
  423. Puberty doesn’t come at the same age for everyone.
  424. Another completely different concept is “adolescence”: the stage between childhood and adulthood.
  425. It’s possible to reach age 18 without the required mental setup to act like an adult.
  426. “Adolescence” is an extremely vague concept. In fact, it’s a social construct, just like childhood.
  427. The cases of “adolescent crisis” are also caused by lack of information concerning the changes that happen in the body and mind during that stage of life. What makes an adolescent crisis is the number of questions that are yet to find an answer.
  428. There are societies without adolescent crisis.
  429. That also happens because child sexually is not repressed. Children as spontenous in their expressions of sexuality. That makes it much easier for kids to learn about sexuality. You just have to remember how curious they are about their own bodies and the bodies of others. If they had the answers they are looking for, they would grow as more well-balanced adolescents.
  430. Critics say that a relationship between an adult and a minor is still unequal, even if consent was granted. Those who read Positive Memories know, however, than an adult who loves the minor won’t use physical power to submit the minor, while the minor can benefit from the adult’s experience and wisdom.
  431. The main proponents of such argument are the feminists.
  432. However, a number of relationships between adults are also unequal, in the grounds of physical power, life experience or wealth.
  433. It’s harder for a minor to ruin himself in a relationship with an adult than in a relationship with another minor. Talking about “relationship”, not rape.
  434. Not all women, however, even when feminist, think that adult/minor relationships are necessarely bad.
  435. Parenting relationships is unequal, but a lot of good stuff comes out of a chaste parent/child relationship. From which we draw that power disparity isn’t a good reason for the existence of age of consent laws. The same can be said from educational relationships (teacher and student).
  436. There are parents who oppress their children.
  437. The mother’s control over the child, even when the child becomes an adult, is a common cultural phenomenon in the West. She never stops seeing her child as her “baby”. Well, that depends; mothers in my district doesn’t really behave like that…
  438. Normally, it’s the mom who impose the sexual taboos. My mother never did só and my father never had problems with my child sexuality, nor kept me from reading, at age six, some sex education manuals that he had sitting around.
  439. Did I mention that there are no incest laws in Brazil?
  440. A person gains much more from an unequal, but positive, relationship, because education can only happen in unequal relationships. Either party needs to know more than the other, otherwise there’s no teaching. Plus, protection is more guaranteed if it’s a stronger person to exercise protection.
  441. You need more maturity to marry than to have sex.
  442. Do not marry for love, because love tends to pass and then you will divorce, which might expose your belongings to peril. In fact, Jesus also agrees that, if possible, it’s better not to marry, even if that means having a celibate life (Matthew 19:9-11). So, even if you two really love each other, it’s better to consider if marriage is really worth it.
  443. The author says the a pedophile wouldn’t propose (marriage) to a child. But didn’t Lewis Carroll propose to Alice?
  444. A large number of minors who experienced sexual relationships with same-sex people in childhood do not grow up homosexual.
  445. Do we have the right to keep the minor from falling in love?
  446. A child may love an adult like they love the parents.
  447. “What if the minor becomes disappointed with the relationship?” Well, that also happens between adults and doesn’t make their relationships illegal.
  448. Affetive disappointment is a risk in any relationship, even the chaste ones.
  449. A child may exploit a pedophile’s weakness.
  450. “Do as I say, or I’m telling the cops!” Every kid is a potential Chris Hansen.
  451. “Relationship politics” isn’t conditioned to sexual elements. It can gravitate any element.
  452. If the child takes an active role in a sexual relationship, the adult can say goodbye to his authority. The child will see the adult as submissive, at least in some sense.
  453. A child who receives affection from an adult when she desires such affect, got what she wanted.
  454. Chapter ten opens with the statement that child porn brings more disgust to normal people than real relationships, supposing they are non-penetrative and uncoerced. Yeah, he is right, I’m considering to stop reading here.
  455. The reason for that is that child pornography is a business. How can it be different from sexual exploitation? In last analysis, is different from prostitution?
  456. “I don’t think this is universally true.” Oh, my…
  457. The minor can record pornography of himself, share it and think it’s the best thing ever. Well, that does happen, but if he sold that pornography, I mean, if he had a source of income while being still só young, wouldn’t he want to quit school? At least here, a lot of tykes only attend to school because they need a middle school diploma in order to get a job that pays well.
  458. Child prostitution is a problem associated to poverty. Children with better economic conditions likely wouldn’t sell themselves. Too many cases of child prostitution are a symptom of poor state administration.
  459. The correct way to eliminate child prostitution is eliminating poverty.
  460. The author says that there’s another cause for child prostitution: sexual restriction. In Victorian Era, the monogamy code was too strict. That made prostitution grow as a big business. Why is drug dealing something só lucrative? Because drugs are forbidden by law. For as long as there are people willing to buy, drug dealers will benefit from low competition. In the case of prostitution, as sexual desire is an innate thing, with levels that we didn’t choose, there are always people looking for “adventure”. So, a whore house could earn lots by raising the costs (low competition, risky job, constant demand), which turn prostitution something rather profitable. If sex wasn’t taboo, prostitution would stop being só profitable. Makes some sense.

  461. Why is the number of smiling children in child porn só… high?
  462. The campaign against child pornography began thanks to christians who had media influence and a lot of information given by the media of the time was wrong.
  463. The campaign only worked because the violation of sexual values always causes enormous discomfort in the West.
  464. What is “spiritual murder”?
  465. The author says that the laws that protected children from possible abuses that could be caused by production of child porn already existed, there was no need of a specific law to ban all child porn. Plus, there was never evidence, by the time when such law was suggested, that “hardcore pre-teen” was ever being produced or distributed in Britain. The child porn that was available back then was “softcore”, not só different from nudes which teens send to each other (just to poke the subject, yes, sharing nudes of a person under age of 18 is distribution of child porn, which is crime). I read somewhere that softcore child porn was only banned in Japan in 1999.

  466. The author concludes that laws against child pornography became a thing because of hysteria, caused by “anti-sexual lobby”.
  467. The author is about to suggest how child porn can be legalized without harming children. Get ready for controversy.
  468. Laws against child pornography promote censorship.
  469. At the time when the book was written, most arguments against child pornography tackled the effect that such pornography could have on the consumer. Would he feel an urge to attack a child if he became addicted to such images or stories? Today, no one argues like that, because it became obvious that the presence of legal porn (such as Xtube) decreases the rape rates. In the case of child porn, at least until 2007, the mere possession of child porn is not a criminal offence in Czech Republic as it allows the pedophile to feel satiated without touching a real child. So, the argument that “porn is theory, rape is practice” meets no empirical ground. Reminder: don’t consume it, cause it’s still illegal here.
  470. Pornography that causes no harm to the model can be used therapeutically. “Oh, but what kind of porn doesn’t victimize the minor?” The nudes he takes of himself, as well as fiction porn (shotacon, for example).
  471. For the author, non-degrading porn should be liberated.
  472. Media is “normalizing” pedophilia since the seventies, guys. If it were to work, it would already be normal.
  473. There is child porn that physically injures the minor. I heard that there exists, in some dark place of the Internet, videos of dying kids that are sold as porn. However, says the author, it seems to be super rare. That’s because the biggest child porn consumers (excluding minors themselves) are pedophiles and they, if we owe credit to the previous chapters, do want to cause harm to the kid they like. So, a porn that causes physical or psychological distress to the model wouldn’t make great success among them, thus being less profitable.
  474. I’m glad that freedom of speech is a human right; if these were the sixties, I would “disappear” for writing these things.
  475. Advocate changes in the law is a right, but breaking laws in effect is crime.
  476. Feminists do not like pornography because, as they say, porn reinforces women’s submission and objectification. But not all feminists think like that.
  477. Porn can be used for political purpose.
  478. All forms of tyranny are disguised as natural law.
  479. If you go to Xtube, you will see a lot of women making porn for free, because that makes them feel better about their own body, increases their self-esteem. So, if a woman makes porn because she likes it, she’s not a victim of sexism. No one asked her to do what she’s doing.
  480. I bet that the author is going to extend that reasoning to children. If he used the same argument today, when even five-year-olds are taking nudes, he would have high degree of acceptability.
  481. For the author, the disgust that radical feminists feel towards pornography is grounded in an anti-heterossexual bias, according to which a “real” woman would never feel pleasure by taking a passive role.

  482. But such argument ignores the existence of pornography in which the woman is dominant.
  483. The argument that men who consume porn do só for a desire to see women being used, abused, broken and discarded is prejudice. The man who watches porn rarely looks for a woman who humiliates herself on video. The man doesn’t see the woman as a humiliated party and the woman doesn’t see herself as being humiliated.
  484. When a man poses nude, is he humiliating himself? Then why would that be the case when the model is a woman?
  485. When a teenager glues a poster of his favorite singer on his wall, is he objectifying the singer?
  486. A number of critics against child porn comes from people who never spoke to a real pedophile to see what he actually likes to see. How can they know if the porn desired by pedophiles is the porn that is effectively banned by law or if the desired porn needs to be banned?
  487. At the time when the book was written, there was one schoolar who suggested that there should be a kind of porn aimed at children and that such porn could have pedagogical aspect, not só different from the sex education manuals that already exist. It’s the first time I ever hear about something like that.
  488. Sex education manuals are easy prey for the anti-sexual lobby. There’s actual pressure to keep the child uninformed about things that she wants to know about.
  489. The belief that child porn is wrong, says the author, starts from the two suppositions that children aren’t sexual beings and that sexuality isn’t something that should be shown.
  490. Most of that porn is amateur and produced at home.
  491. The author says that, before child porn being banned in his territory, the children approved the material for which they modelled for. Frequently, the material was produced by parents, who would then sell the material for distributors. At least, the money would stay with the family…
  492. But there are children who hate to be recorded or photographed. There are also accounts of children who were forced into it. But at the age of cellphones with cameras, which allows children as young as five to record themselves with no adult intervention, it became clear that there are children who like to expose themselves.

  493. So, there is pornographic material featuring minors and that doesn’t victmize said minor.
  494. The author says that the child porn industry, before becoming illegal, gave a share of the money to the minor. I feel pretty worried about that… How can I guarantee that such amount is fair? And, if it is, what about the studies?
  495. In the end, child porn was completely banned because there was no other way to fight the material in which the child is actually exploited. Banning benign material was the cost of fighting the “bad” material.
  496. But such reason is disputed, because the people at the front of the movement against that kind of porn had ties with homophobia and the church.
  497. The same schoolar who spoke about porn for children suggests that the legal devices that already protect child actors should also be used in child porn industry. It’s hard, man, to read this book while having your lunch. Even though I admit that the argument is valid, I have a feeling that something is wrong.
  498. For Constantine, the kidnapping and exploitation of minors for purposes of porn production is a natural product of the status of ilegality of such porn. If it was legal, there would be no need to rely on extreme methods to obtain models, says Constantine. Guys, can’t we please just draw cartoon child porn?
  499. It would be better if such porn was free and regulated by state, in order to reduce the chances of exploitation. Plus, earning money with the model could count as child labor.
  500. But wouldn’t that pornography be used for blackmail? That’s one of the main arguments against nudes shared between minors: the possibility of leaking or the implosion of the model’s image.

  501. The author argues that nudes wouldn’t be used for blackmail if the world has less sex shame. Of course, he isn’t talking specifically about nudes, but any pornographic material, specially because there was no cellphones at the time when the book was written.
  502. Finally, I finished the tenth chapter. This chapter was probably the most controversial reading that I have ever done. It’s a punch on the stomach. If the author is correct, I hope that such changes are adopted gradually, not all at once. But if he is right or not, it’s for you to judge.
  503. “PIE, like PAL, had grown out of the gay movement of the mid-1970s.” Yep, it seems like gays didn’t see attraction to minors as essentially anti-ethical back when the movement was at it’s peak. You just gotta remember that everyone at NAMBLA is gay by definition.
  504. PIE’s founder was not a pedophile.
  505. Gays once marched against age of consent laws in England.
  506. But not all of them.
  507. One of PIE objectives was to reduce the myths about pedophilia, by dissemination of scientific information. Another was to advise depressed or isolated pedophiles. That’s slightly reminiscent of what B4U-ACT does today. The difference is that B4U-ACT stays out of the contact issue (that is, if age of consent must or not be abolished) and offers no legal support for pedophiles who break the laws (while PIE offered legal advice). Also, B4U-ACT’s goal is to reduce stigma and build a bridge between pedophiles and mental health services, while PIE’s goal was legalization.
  508. What keeps pedophiles from doing, say, marches against age of consent is how cruel the media can be.
  509. The exit that PIE found was publicity. They needed to be seen and known, só that other people could join the movement. It would be ridiculous to fight against such hard barries with a membership of 250 people.

  510. It wasn’t working until PIE’s boss started to make public presentations in conferences.
  511. A person can even agree with what PIE proposed, but almost no one has any hope of this thing being pushed forward any time soon.
  512. PIE wanted to be a support group, where pedophiles could learn to live in a hostile society. That’s one of the current goals of B4U-ACT. But, again, B4U-ACT stays out of the legalization issue.
  513. “How to be paedophile without being suicidal about it, without feeling guilty just because other people expect you to? Guilt-ridden, anxious paedophiles are almost bound to become more relaxed, more happy as individuals, if for the first time in their lives they find themselves amongst other paedophiles who have learnt not to be depressed by their oppression.” Page 157.
  514. PIE, however, to stay legal, didn’t put adults in contact with children.
  515. They wanted changes in the law, but not to break laws in effect.
  516. Of course, media had to ruin their lively group.
  517. PIE also didn’t encourage their members to break laws.
  518. The author admits that a “radical” pedophile, who wants legalization, is not in position to give advice about seeking treatment or not. That explains B4U-ACT’s position. If they had a definite position in the contact issue, not only they would push away pedophiles in need of help, but they would also be unable to give proper help.
  519. Eventually, the support group activities were harmed by the very group’s political engagement.

  520. Even though pedophiles who joined PIE enjoyed the idea of finding others like themselves, which reduced the feeling of isolation, PIE’s political agenda put the members at risk, obviously. Not everyone is ready for political engagement, specially in such a serious cause that meets só much resistence.
  521. The reluctance in participating in legalization divided the pedophiles that PIE tried to unite.
  522. “We just did what we felt it was in us to do, what we were bursting to do, which was to stand up and say loud and clear that we were pig sick of creeping in the shadows, of pretending to be something other than ourselves, of apologizing for feelings which within our deepest selves we knew were capable of a good and fine manifestation, not a wicked or perverted or ‘sick’ one.” Page 163.
  523. The gay movement only worked because a lot of gays came out of the closet and challenged, in group, a society that was hostile to them. In United States, the number of minor-attracted people sums at least 660 thousand. There’s no data about how much they are in Brazil, though some schoolars estimate that pedophiles represent one full percent of the world population.
  524. But that wouldn’t be possible if the gays didn’t employ tactics to sufficiently clear the discrimination before they could organize themselves as a politcal minority: persuasion in public relations and political lobbying, for example.

  525. There are antis at left and at right.
  526. Intellectuals also are subject to emotion. There’s not a single person in the world who is immune to prejudice.
  527. Those same intellectuals may be favorable to the use of brutal violence in name of nationalism.
  528. I’m almost sure that PIE would have more chances of success if it wasn’t só radical. The author says that delivering the message in a radical, raw manner would make PIE harder to ignore and would spawn a sincere debate on the subject. Well, at least the “harder to ignore” part worked. I believe that the debate, in the end, was not “are their claims valid or not”, but “how to shut those lunatics up.”
  529. A strong press campaign was needed. Yes, but I worry about how the content was delivered.
  530. Newspaper dirty trick: make an article bad-mouthing someone, then say that said someone has the right to reply and, when that person reply, you don’t publish it. That way, you keep your “impartial” reputation without allowing the other side to speak out.
  531. A lot of people try to disqualify a diverging point of view by keeping it’s proponents in silence, even if violent means are needed for such. What are antis scared of, if pedophiles “are” wrong?
  532. How can media say “you have the right to reply” and, when you reply, it says “stop trying to justify yourself”?
  533. You can not fire an employee because of his sexuality, specially if he didn’t commit any crime. But a lot of people do it anyway. Journalists can also encourage such behavior, even though it’s unethical.
  534. Because of media virulence, PIE lost it’s treasurer. More than that, no one in their sane mind wanted to fill that spot.
  535. A nation can receive a good shock when it’s attitudes are exposed as negative by international press.
  536. Criticized by Veja today, cherished by El Pais tomorrow.

  537.  People who don’t defend legalization may still admit that many of those relationships do not end in harm.
  538. Even if you didn’t commit any crime, the police may deny you help when you need them, if they dislike the opinion you have on a given subject.
  539. This is the kind of thing you don’t find in history textbooks, huh?
  540. A proponent of age of consent abolishment can expect to meet resistence not unlike the resistence narrated from page 171 to 173.
  541. Media gives misinformation.

  542. Do not trust media if what you want is the acceptance of something completely new. Media only repeats and validades an already sanctioned opinion. That’s why you don’t see this, it or that on Veja or Brasil247.
  543. Be radical, but not too radical.
  544. PIE wasn’t the only organization of it’s genre.
  545. On United States, gay bashing was disguised as pedophile bashing (using it as excuse to persecute gays).
  546. Tom Reeves didn’t hide the fact that he was a pedophile.
  547. What made the pedophile movement have more chances of success in United States than in Britain, where PIE died? Simple: they didn’t exactly want the liberation of pedophilia as recognized sexual minority, but just age of consent abolishment. That granted some support from judges, lawyers and church people.
  548. The focus was the liberation of minors, with emphasis on adolescents, not só much on children, not só much on adults.
  549. Another factor that enabled a faster growth to the movement in United States was the fact that, when NAMBLA appeared, US was less conservative than UK, in the sense that they were more prone to give new ideas a chance.
  550. Example: “Kid porn is particularly disturbing partly because it shows us that children will readily respond to sexual advances and even become active participants in sexual encounters. Like any human potential, the reality of juvenile sexuality can be tapped for evil as well as for good. The pornographers are simply forcing us to confront the fact that this sexual potential in children really exists.” Can you believe that this was published in Los Angeles Times?
  551. In Holland, things were more post-punk: both attorneys and protestant christians believed that arresting an adult in harmless relationship with a minor is not something that can be justified.
  552. NVSH still has a website (and here is the page relevant to the subject). They advocated the acceptance of all voluntary expressions of sexuality and reached around “one quarter of a million” members (250 thousand).
  553. The climate of acceptance in Holland allowed a rational, unbiased debate about pedophilia. They didn’t react with the great disgust that we react with today.
  554. Open pedophiles were seen around children they loved and people didn’t see that as an automatic sign of danger. Reminder, guys: it wasn’t even fifty years ago.
  555. Intergenerational lovers were interviewed by local media.
  556. Pastors would preach favorably about pedophilia on television, being watched by thousands of protestants.
  557. From communists to catholics, no one reacted automatically badly on Holland.
  558. Pedophiles would march in public and, man, they would take children with them.
  559. Surreal times.
  560. There were even sympathetic judges.
  561. They would speak about it in schools. Students were supportive.
  562. “[…] there has been a further petition calling for the abolition of the age of consent, presented to the Government in June 1979, and signed by the Trade Union of Teachers, the Union of Probation Officers, the Protestant Trade Union of School Teachers, and the Protestant Union for the Family […]”. Holland must be the only place in the world where the involvement of pastors with the pedophile cause is bigger than the involvement of priests.
  563. The existence of pro-family organizations that support relationships with minors shows that there are people who do not associate pedophilia with threat to the family.
  564. Just like Brasil before 2009, a relationship with a minor in Holland (as long as the minor was 12 or more) wouldn’t be immediately investigated if no one complained. So, for as long as the relationship was positive and no one complained, police wouldn’t act.
  565. The climate of acceptance was also thanks to education.
  566. When parents are like “I’m gonna file a complaint”, police was like “your son is going to go through interrogatory and forensic exam, see if it’s worth it.” If the minor was really abused, the mother wouldn’t think twice. But, with a warning like that, she would be less inclined to file a complaint for a relationship regarded as positive by the child.
  567. If the prosecution would cause more harm than benefit to the involved parties, the prosecutors would refuse to continue with the prosecution. It would be dropped. That wasn’t valid only in sexual matters, but in any matter, says the author.
  568. Despite that, there’s difference between tolerating and encouraging. So, if on one hand the penalties for pedophiles were small (when they were punished), the act still wasn’t legal. Reminder: talking about harmless, uncoerced relationships, not rape.
  569. Pedophilia will never be accepted for as long as it’s seen as a minoritary sexual behavior, just like there are still people who can’t stand gays. Minorities are weird, because they are rare.

  570. If you can not wait, haste.
  571. From a pragmatic point of view, legal intervention in relationships that are harmless, uncoerced, sought by the minor and approved by the parents causes more harm than benefit.
  572. The positive effort for pedophile acceptance in Holland began in the fifties, with a group called Enclave, which later became… a publishing house.
  573. Before concluding, the author, even though he advocates a change in the laws, does not say in any point of the books that you should break laws in effect. He would be crazy if he said só. He has a blog called Heretic TOC, só, if you have questions about the book, go there and ask personally (in English). If you are, I dunno, “inspired”, here’s the Federal Senate site, where you can suggest laws and, if you get 20 thousand supports, have your suggestion evaluated by the Human Rights Comitee, which my take your suggestion for consideration in Congress, where it may or not become a law.

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