Analecto

14 de setembro de 2017

MAP starting guide.

“Minor-attracted person” is anyone with a romantic or sexual interest in people below age of consent. The category is broad enough to include even minors themselves, if they develop feelings and practices that can be considered sexual in their general tract between each other. However, this category is fairly new and most people don’t see the difference between attraction to minors and pedophilia, which is, itself, charged with great amounts of stigma. Because of that, the self-esteem of minor-attracted people is severely damaged, they hide and develop self-hatred. But it’s important for the minor-attracted person to understand that they are not a threat to minors, that their attraction is fine in other places of the world and that, putting things that way, attraction to minors isn’t a disease per se, but is made such by society. That should help minor-attracted people to accept themselves wholeheartly, to see age of consent as a cultural phenomenon passive of changing, improve better understanding of themselves and point to help, if such is needed.

Introduction.1

One day, in May 2017, I had a talk with a friend about pedophilia and I thought about looking it up. I saw extremely disturbing things, that made me anxious for days. However, when I feel anxiety, the feeling doesn’t stop until I become fully informed on the subject, so I can find a way to settle these feelings and give my opinion on them. For days, the online research brought me further pain. I noticed that not everyone who had sexual feelings towards children dealt well with them and I quickly figured that media played a role in propagating that fear in society, rather than true information, to the point of pedophiles themselves, who never had a problem with their feelings and were law-abiding, becoming doubtful about how much control they had over the feeling. “It’s an extremely unhealthy worldview”, I thought, “because it makes you feel like you are never in full control of yourself.”

But finally, I found some things that could diminish my anxiety and make me recover the sanity that I lost that month. Media isn’t a good place to search for those things and that I needed something more factual, such as science or philosophy. I learned that pedophiles are just one kind of “minor-attracted person” and that there are others who have those feelings to different age onsets. I learned that there are minors themselves who are unsatisfied with their situation, the existence of positive accounts around the world and repressed statistical evidence. That, coupled with the horrible experiences I had in May, made me notice that attraction to minors isn’t a disease per se, but is made such by society, no matter if the minor-attracted person is a pedophile or not.

The purpose of this document is to put all needed information for self-acceptance in a single place, so that a person who notices that they have feelings towards others who are below age of consent don’t have to go through all the pains that I had. The first section tries to define what is a minor-attracted person and to differentiate it from pedophilia (the concepts aren’t mutually excluding). The second section deals with the attraction if acted out, it’s status of illegality and the actual damage that acting on it could cause, without exaggeration. The third section is about what to do once you know what you are.

Attraction to minors explained.

“Minor”, in this context, is someone below age of consent. If you are attracted to people under age of consent, you qualify. The causes for such attraction are unknown. For a while, people thought that having sexual contacts in childhood caused pedophilia,2 for example, but nowadays, we know that this assumption is wrong. There’s no necessary link between having a sexual encounter with an adult during childhood and becoming attracted to minors.3 Science is more inclined to treat attraction to minors in general and pedophilia in particular like a sexual orientation: it’s deeply-rooted, unlikely to change, and you were probably born hardwired to develop that way.4 Fighting it is useless.5

On the other hand, considering that minors themselves may become attracted to peers who also are below age of consent, examining their relationships together do make us wonder if being attracted to minors is always bad. Is there really always harm?6 Aren’t some people whispering that age of consent is keeping minors themselves from building constructive relationships?7 Every minor-attracted adult was once a minor-attracted minor, of course. The nature of the feeling, however, is the same.

Who qualifies?

If you are crushing on someone and said someone is below age of consent, you qualify, no matter which side of the dividing line you are on: under or above the age of consent. If you are a minor, then your attraction is more socially acceptable, but it may still be illegal, depending on where you are. If you are an adult, you probably have to hide it from society. You may deny or justify yourself, but it’s there and you can’t really pretend it doesn’t exist.

Even if romance is a big part of those feelings, sexuality plays a decisive role in making it disapproved by society.

If you are a minor yourself and are caught having those affairs, people might break in and say you don’t know what you are doing, that you are unaware of the consequences and things of that nature. You might also be registered on a private sex offender list, only to have that list publicized when you reach the age of majority.8 If you are an adult, you may be seen as a manipulative monster if you act on that desire and, even if you don’t, people may assume you are a “ticking time bomb”. But a lot of minor-attracted adults don’t really act on the impulse nor break any law.9

Minors.

Minors often become attracted to other minors, which is only natural. But age of consent laws may pose a problem to that kind of relationship. Because of their daring nature, some minors may act on the impulse and have sexual relationships before age of consent and that actually happens pretty often, despite being illegal.10

While these relationships are more socially accepted, it doesn’t make them risk-free. Depending on your political or religious upbringing, you, as a minor, may face some trouble coming from your parents. If your parents happen to be radical, the incident may escalate to unfair consequences. While there’s no law that forbids love, crossing the line between what is sexual and what is not may land you and your lover in trouble, specially if such line isn’t sharply drawn. Because of that, it’s highly advised against, because the consequences of the act, if the act is found out, may be very harmful.11

Adults.

If you are an adult who is attracted to minors, there’s a fair chance of you being a pedophile. Before you get scared, we must see if you aren’t something else first. “Pedophile” is someone who has a sexual preference for prepubescent children. If the focus of your attraction is another age onset, you have another chronophilia.12 It’s important to stress that a chronophilia is a sexual preference or exclusivity: if you felt attracted to children at some point of your life, but your preference is adult women, you are not a pedophile. That means that being attracted to a child doesn’t automatically make you a pedophile, if it’s an one-time thing or if your desire for adults is stronger.

If you are attracted to babies or toddlers, you are a “nepiophile”. If you are attracted to prepubescent children, you are a “pedophile”. If you are attracted to children or adolescents who are going through puberty, you are a “hebephile”. If you are attracted to people who completed puberty, but still aren’t adults, you are an “ephebophile”. If you are attracted to adults, you are a “teleiophile”. There are other chronophilias related to middle-aged people and elders.13 I included teleiophilia in this document, because age of consent in some countries is 21, rendering some relationships with 18-year-old adults illegal.14

No chronophilia automatically makes you sick. For example: for a long time, pedophilia was listed in both DSM and ICD,15 but neither manual made reference to the other chronophilias. Recently, there was an attempt to include hebephilia in the DSM, but the proposal was ultimately rejected.16 A major reason for such was that hebephilia can still lead to reproductive sex. There are places in the world where those chronophilias aren’t considered abnormal and, nonetheless, you don’t hear much about child sexual abuse from those places.17 Strangely, the places with the highest amount of child sexual abuse cases are five of the countries with highest ages of consent, where those behaviors are considered sick.18 As long as you don’t mind your feelings and don’t break any laws, you don’t need to worry about that.19

Am I a pedophile?

If you now are sure that you are a pedophile, you are probably scared and confused. However, think about your life so far. Was it distressing? Did you hurt anyone? How could it be different in the future? Wasn’t it the way it has always been? You are probably worrying too much. I don’t really blame you for that. Media hammers ideas away about you, fueling prejudice in the guise of information. People believe they are fully informed on pedophilia, despite never talking to a pedophile. In fact, they are discouraged from doing so, as they believe that pedophiles are all dangerous. The problem is that “budding pedophiles” receive that information as well and internalize it and, when they realize they are pedophiles themselves, they make a completely wrong idea of what pedophilia is about, despite feeling it in their very skin. You are taken to believe you are something that you are not.

To help you to overcome that problem, you must consider two bits of information. The first one is that pedophilia isn’t all about adult-child sex. In fact, the idea of penetrating a child probably makes you a little queasy. It’s a common feeling among pedophiles. They crush on children. When you crush on someone, you do not want to hurt them. Still, sexual contacts, even when harmless, are illegal and all acts have consequences, meaning you are advised against practicing adult-child sex even if you mean no harm. For many pedophiles, loving the child is the main thrill, with the sexual aspect being completely secondary, but the association of pedophilia with words such as “strong”, “pressing” or “urgent” make it sound like it’s a huge deal to stay abstinent.20 That means that your relationship with children won’t necessarily develop a sexual aspect, but you are taken to believe it will, which isn’t true and takes me to my second point: most child sex abusers are not pedophiles.21

When you love someone, you mean no harm. So, if you hear media saying that a “pedophile raped a child”, rest assured that they are either misinformed, lying or reporting a minority of them. You shouldn’t let media tell you what you are, nor what you should be attracted to. With media repeating that pedophiles are child rapists, and using those words interchangeably, those sentences could very well be internalized: the meaningful “pedophilia” is reduced to being synonymous with “child fetish”. Media encourages you to see pedophilia only in sexual terms and to see the sexual aspect through a disproportional negative bias, associating it with coercion, pain and trauma. Love is downplayed, despite existing. There’s a conflict between you and the monster you are portrayed as.22 Don’t let anyone tell you how you should feel.

You may feel the sexual aspect of pedophilia, but remember that you don’t have to act on it, that you are urged to remain law-abiding and that it doesn’t invalidate the love that you feel. If you love, you won’t hurt. You are no monster.

Is this attraction okay?

We discussed attraction to minors in it’s personal aspect so far, what it means for minors themselves and for adults. But now we should evaluate if the attraction in it’s act is okay or not. Relationships with people below age of consent, even if you are a minor yourself, are illegal and may result in persecution. But are they harmful or immoral by definition?

I ask this question because self-acceptance is much harder when you don’t consider that. It’s like saying “it’s fine to be attracted to something that is not fine.” It’s hard to be fully okay with yourself without considering that element. We have to face the consequences and the facts concerning relationships involving people below age of consent.

In a democratic setting, we all know that laws change. Because of that, considering other aspects of relationships with minors, besides it’s illegality, may help us to evaluate if age of consent needs to exist and, if it does, if it needs to be higher, lower or stay the way it is. Every minor-attracted person should consider this problem with responsibility, specially if they are adults, as minors often can not vote. So, if you come to the conclusion that those laws harm minors, you are supposed to be their voice. As an adult, you are in charge of doing what is in the minor’s best interest and you won’t know what is in their best interest without listening to them. See what they think about those laws. If you come to the conclusion that removing those laws could harm minors, you are also supposed to be vocal about it. In any case, minors themselves should also participate in the debate, as it’s a law about them and discussing it is an exercise of political consciousness.

You don’t have to act on it.

Before we can continue on this discussion, it’s important to remember that being attracted to minors doesn’t mean you will invariably offend the law. Heterosexual people, for example, don’t pounce on every adult of the opposite gender. Plus, teleiophiles sometimes take a celibate life due to religious reasons. If someone can stay abstinent for fear of a punishment in afterlife, I can’t see why someone can’t stay abstinent for fear of a punishment in this life.

Your sexual attraction is like any other. It has romantic elements and can be platonic.23 It’s not down to sexual pleasure or advances. With that in mind, it’s much easier to face attraction to minors with indifference, while not keeping you from participating in a honest debate on the attraction itself or it’s action, nor keeping you from indulging in fantasy.

Age of consent changes.

Age of consent didn’t always exist, wasn’t always this high or this low, could be much higher or lower and there’s no agreement on at what age one is capable of consenting to sexual intimacy. It can be as low as twelve and as high as twenty-one, with some places having none at all, but using other conditions, such as puberty or marriage.24 Historically, the lowest record is seven. And there are proposals to rise it to twenty-five.

Age of consent is a law. It’s not a natural thing, but a society custom. It can change in the future, for lower or higher. It could cease to exist. So, because of the artificial nature of age of consent, it doesn’t automatically make you sick, nor makes your attraction sick. It also doesn’t render the relationships you desire automatically harmful either, but doesn’t make legal relationships beneficial. Not every relationship engaged at age 21 is healthy, beneficial or non-exploitative. If law changes, because legislators can notice they were wrong, the law can’t really make anything sick or healthy by it’s whim. So, understand that a legal restriction doesn’t make you a bad person, but breaking the law can still ruin you.

Damage and positive accounts.

It doesn’t matter at which side you are in the contact issue,25 you still have to consider two things about relationships below age of consent in order to properly understand the problem in hand and assure your own position in the subject: harm and benefit. So, in order to evaluate if attraction to minors is okay or not, we still must consider the facts concerning the consequences of the attraction if acted out.

In 1998, a trio of researchers released A Meta-Analytic Examination of Assumed Properties of Child Sexual Abuse Using College Samples, a study that concluded that most sexual contacts engaged before age of consent in United States do not end in harm in the general population, with 37% of the boys and 11% of the girls reporting that the experiences were positive. That refers to all sexual contacts, that is, involving two minors or an adult and a minor. While many cases do end in harm, it’s rare for such harm to be intense or long-lasting.26 That means that traumatic (here defined as profound and long-lasting) sexual contacts involving minors are a statistical minority. While that wasn’t the first time that a study concluded something like that, this study, by comparing the issue with homosexuality and masturbation, seemed to hint that relationships below age of consent could become destigmatized sooner or later.27 That caused a public outrage that culminated with the study being the first and, so far, the only to be formally condemned by American Congress.28 Because of the controversy surrounding the so-called “Rind Report”, it’s very famous and is usually the first study to quote whenever someone questions age of consent.

However, despite data showing that trauma from sexual contacts below age of consent, no matter if with another minor or an adult, do not usually end in harm, is that enough to override the voices of abuse victims who are traumatized by the damage caused to them? Would lowering or abolishing age of consent really be a wise idea, despite statistical evidence showing that it could be? Even if not, is it really needed to raise it? It’s for you to judge.

As the study concludes that some experiences were positive, you may wonder how come no one hears about those. There’s a number of answers for that, but I’ll point to most obvious: news only reports what is of public interest. Hearing of positive experiences on news wouldn’t improve anyone’s life (except the lives of minor-attracted people, who would be seen under a less biased light). Sure, they are illegal, but news won’t show every arrest, only the very serious ones. Because we need to know who is really dangerous, so we can defend ourselves, media logically limits itself to reporting only the really negative accounts. There’s no reason for positive accounts, despite ending in arrests, to be reported on media. So, if you are looking for positive experiences, your best bet would be professional literature, not news. Some minor-attracted people collect positive accounts found in such literature (and other sources), making compilations in on-line pages.29

With that, I stress that you aren’t attracted to something inherently harmful or exploitative. You are attracted to something illegal. Period. Now, if the law should change or not (if so, how), it’s up to you to choose. But one shouldn’t consider this issue without considering that data first, that is, the real extent of harm and the existence of both positive and negative outcomes.

What do I do now?

Now that you are aware that your attraction won’t necessarily pose a problem to your daily life, that you can live with it, stay law-abiding and that the act, albeit illegal, isn’t as bad as you are taken to believe it is, I hope you are feeling much calmer about who you are and what you feel. You may wake up tomorrow and forget your problem. But maybe you feel some sexual frustration, maybe you have suicidal thoughts from time to time, maybe you react very poorly to news and how general population speak about you. Is that your attraction’s fault or is it just how society sees minor-attracted people?

Considering the information exposed in the previous sections, that you can function like any normal person, be healthy and productive, how can it be your attraction’s fault? If you feel ill, it’s because of how society sees you. Society makes you ill by stigmatizing you, even if they don’t know they are doing it. So, if you are having trouble with that, you may need professional help, someone to listen.

B4U-ACT30 is an organization that tries to make a bridge between minor-attracted people and mental health professionals. Most minor-attracted people face similar struggles and B4U-ACT tries to provide them with information on how and where to find help. However, the organization doesn’t simply point to any place where you could find a counselor or psychiatrist; they only point to therapists who agree with the organization’s values. B4U-ACT doesn’t believe that attraction to minors is an illness, so, if a therapist agrees to work with them, they must keep in mind that their mission isn’t to “cure” you from your attraction, but to help you be happier despite having it.31 B4U-ACT is also contact-neutral,32 so, if you happen to be pro-contact, they won’t try to change your mind either. If you have any problems related to your attraction, consider looking for help with them first, before trying anyone else. The site is still small, but works well for it’s purpose and has gained notoriety.33

Accept yourself first.

Hopefully, there’s nothing else bothering you now. You can leave the contact issue entirely and prefer not to partake in the discussion, that would also be fine. You can pick either the pro-contact or anti-contact side, if you wish to. But being attracted to minors doesn’t necessarily imply participating in any of those things, though you are more than welcome to discuss age of consent with other minor-attracted people or with normal, everyday people.

What is more important now, is not to hate yourself. Learn more and look deeper into your attraction to better understand it. Maybe it explains other aspects of yourself. Just as long as you accept it, not as an illness, specially if you are a minor, but as part of you, it’s likely that you will shrug it off and continue living normally, like any other person. There’s no need to be startled, scared or anything like that.

If you wish to be public about your attraction, you can if you are a minor yourself. But an adult coming out as attracted to minors is almost unthinkable, unless it’s on-line. There was a number of initiatives favorable to minor-attracted people, which failed due to lack of participants.34 Maybe some of those could be something you would enjoy supporting. So, if any of those initiatives resurface, it would fail again unless it found supporters. In a democratic setting, an idea grows with it’s number of supporters and, thanks to the Internet, one can support an idea almost anonymously and easily find like-minded people. So, if you feel that it would be fine to “come out” in the Internet, specially if you are able to separate an on-line identity from your real life identity, it would be easier to find others like you and spread the word, arguing and changing people’s mind to get supporters. If that keeps happening, maybe minor-attracted people become a sizable minority worth seeking votes from. Even if that doesn’t call age of consent to question, it would, hopefully, open possibilities for stigma reduction.

Think about it: how many minor-attracted people exist in United States? The lowest guess is 600,000 adults and 60,000 minors.35 If you sum in a same movement anyone who feels that age of consent poses a problem to the relationships they want to establish, how big would such movement be? Even if the contact issue doesn’t find a definite resolution, stigma reduction is something that they all want. If more minor-attracted people come out, even if just on-line, even if just in dedicated accounts, and organize themselves, maybe attraction to minors would gain a political identity. It’s not enough, but is a start.

Find others.

A number of minor-attracted people are open about their attraction on-line, due to the protections that one gets from anonymity and easiness to get a point across in a web that is almost completely dominated by freedom of speech. Due to the amount of hate in social media, however, minor-attracted people often prefer to discuss their attraction with commentators, if they open a blog.

The number of minor-attracted people willing to discuss the attraction in social media is still small. An even smaller number discusses it on video sharing sites. And there’s sites specially built for those with such attractions, most notably bulletin boards and support groups. Sites focused on youth rights may discuss the attractions that minors feel between themselves as well.

Stick together.

It’s unlikely that a possible “movement” formed by minor-attracted people would come up with a political agenda anytime soon, because they are divided in a very important question, which is the contact issue. Unless there’s a consensus on age of consent laws, it’s nearly impossible for minor-attracted people to operate any big societal changes. But, because of the stigma surrounding all of us, it’s important for minor-attracted people to stay close to each other, no matter their position on age of consent, no matter their age or their chronophilia. We are all humans and minor-attracted people all share that defining trait, which is the attraction to a kind of relationship that is illegal.

If we admit that those relationships aren’t necessarily harmful or exploitative (yet illegal and maybe for good), admit that we can function as normal people despite being abstinent and admit that we are much more than previously thought, it’s clear that the illness isn’t in us, but in how society sees us. We would all live better lives if the stigma was reduced. Because of that, the only “agenda” among minor-attracted people, in the current climate, should be stigma reduction, which won’t be achieved without collective effort between minors and adults, between all chronophilias, between pro and anti-contacts. Remember the speculation on how many they are. If they stuck together, they could achieve at least that goal, but they won’t achieve anything by turning a big minority into smaller minorities.

They shouldn’t hate each other or cause more stigma. Society already makes a lot of it, so they shouldn’t make more stigma themselves. That would be self-destructive and would not make any lives any easier, specially because attraction to minors simply happens and won’t ever cease to exist, unless age of consent ceases to exist first, as what defines the attraction is age of consent. Think of the minors too, specially those who could grow as minor-attracted adults. They would live without a lot of struggles that minor-attracted people have to put up with just by simply diminishing or eradicating the stigma. They need to be seen as rational human beings.36 And it would be irrational to hate each other.

Spread the word.

Others like you must be struggling now. They likely feel alone and confused. It’s important for them to know that there’s a lot of others like them and that they don’t need to feel bad about what they are, what they like or anything like that. But for such a thing to happen, they need to know what’s out there for them. The stigma continues because of misinformation. You are taken to believe that you are one in a handful of monsters or that your sexual urges in adolescence or childhood are abnormal and that you are supposed to be innocent. None of that is true.

I don’t oppose copying and pasting this text elsewhere, unless you have a better way to reach isolated minor-attracted people and help them in the path of self-acceptance and stigma opposition, even if they aren’t willing to come out or discuss age of consent. While doing that job, you are encouraged to take a stance in the issue and voice your opinion. Stigma won’t be reduced, let alone eradicated, if minor-attracted people stay silent.

Conclusion.

“Attraction to minors” is a romantic or sexual attachment to someone below age of consent. Both minors and adults can have such attraction. The causes are not clarified. The concepts of attraction to minors and pedophilia overlap, but aren’t the same. A minor-attracted person can be a nepiophile, pedophile, hebephile, ephebophile, teleiophile or a minor themselves.

The nature of the attraction is pretty harmless, specially considering the true extent of harm and the existence of both positive and negative outcomes of relationships like those. Plus, age of consent is a law and laws change. Minor-attracted people can reflect on the law, but shouldn’t do so irresponsibly, no matter if they want abolishment, reduction, continuation or rising of current age of consent in their territory. A responsible discussion on that subject requires evaluating harm and benefit of those contacts. But acting on it is illegal and even positive relationships are passive of persecution. Because of that, it’s highly advised against acting on the attraction, no matter if you are a minor or an adult, unless laws change first.

Minor-attracted people need each other to survive because of the stigmatization. They should accept themselves, look for others, work towards union and enlighten others on the subject. I fully endorse copying and pasting this text elsewhere and the more people do it, the easier it would be for minor-attracted people to find and read it. That way, when young minor-attracted people notice they have those thoughts and feelings, they would find the needed information for self-acceptance without having to go through that amount of misinformation and painful searching that could do more harm than good.

Considering that being attracted to minors won’t necessarily mean that the person will offend the law, that the desired relationships will not always end in harm if made legal and that there’s evidence of positive outcomes, it’s clear that the attraction isn’t sick in itself, but is made such by society’s reaction to it. It’s society that makes you ill, even if you stay law-abiding.

References.

B4U-ACT. FAQ for MAPs. Available at: <http://www.b4uact.org/attracted-to-minors/faq-for-maps/>. Access date: 09/05/17.

B4U-ACT. Learn. Available at: <http://www.b4uact.org/know-the-facts/>. Access date: 09/06/17.

B4U-ACT. Main Page. Available at: <http://www.b4uact.org/>. Access date: 09/05/17.

BROWN, E. N. Beyond Gay and Straight: New Paper Says Sexual Orientation Is Much More Complicated. Available at: <https://reason.com/blog/2016/08/24/beyond-gay-straight-sexual-orientation>. Access date: 08/29/17.

CLRESEARCHBLOG. Does Sexual Abuse Cause Pedophilia? Available at: <https://clresearchblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/08/does-sexual-abuse-cause-pedophilia/>. Access date: 08/25/17.

CLRESEARCHBLOG. Pedophilia as a Sexual Orientation. Available at: <https://clresearchblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/08/pedophilia-is-a-sexual-orientation/>. Access date: 08/25/17.

CLRESEARCHBLOG. Very Few Children Are Harmed by Sexual Encounters With Adults or Peers. Available at: <https://clresearchblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/08/very-few-children-are-harmed-by-sexual-encounters-with-adults-or-peers/>. Access date: 08/25/17.

IACCINO, L. Child Sexual Abuse: Top 5 Countries With the Highest Rates. Available at: <http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/child-sexual-abuse-top-5-countries-highest-rates-1436162>. Access date: 08/29/17.

KATRIEN. Minor-Attracted Figures in History. Available at: <https://philiaresearch.wordpress.com/2015/02/09/Minor-Attracted-Figures-In-History/>. Access date: 08/27/17.

KDOGTIME20. 3 Reasons Why The Age of Consent Should Be Lowered. Available at: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gC_G34cxY9E>. Access date: 08/25/17.

MHAMIC. Everything You Wanted to Know About the Rind Controversy. Available at: <http://www.mhamic.org/rind/>. Access date: 09/04/17.

MUHADDITH. Islam Answers – Early Marriage. Available at: <https://www.ipce.info/library_3/files/early_marriage.htm>. Access date: 08/29/17.

NEWGON. Accounts and Testimonies. Available at: <https://www.newgon.net/wiki/Accounts_and_Testimonies>. Access date: 09/04/17.

NEWGON. Debate Guide: Problems With Age of Consent. Available at: <https://www.newgon.net/wiki/Debate_Guide:_Problems_with_the_Age_of_Consent>. Access date: 08/27/17.

PEDOSEXUAL RESOURCES DIRECTORY. The Sexual Interest of the Pedophile, in Archive.Org. Available at: <https://web.archive.org/web/20071219095524/http://www.paedosexualitaet.de:80/pedo/interest.html>. Access date: 08/30/17.

RIND, B ; BAUSERMAN, R ; TROMOVITCH, P. A Meta-Analytic Examination of Assumed Properties of Child Sexual Abuse Using College Samples. Available at: <https://www.ipce.info/library_3/rbt/metaana.htm>. Access date: 09/04/17.

RIVAS, T. Positive Memories: Cases of Positive Memories of Erotic and Platonic Relationships and Contacts of Children With Adults as Seen From the Perspective of the Former Minor. Available at: <https://www.ipce.info/host/rivas/positive_memories.htm>. Access date: 08/31/17.

SINGY, P. Danger and Difference: The Stakes of Hebephilia. Available at: <https://irwg.umich.edu/events/danger-and-difference-stakes-hebephilia>. Access date: 08/29/17.

SOL RESEARCH. Criminalizing Child’s Play. Available at: <http://solresearch.org/report/Criminalizing_Childs_Play>. Access date: 08/27/17.

SOL RESEARCH. Look Who’s On Registry Now! Available at: <http://solresearch.org/report/Look_Whos_on_Registry_Now>. Access date: 08/27/17.

TOURJEE, D. Most Child Sex Abusers Are Not Pedophiles. Available at: <https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/mgmzwn/most-child-sex-abusers-are-not-pedophiles-expert-says>. Access date: 08/30/17.

WIKIPEDIA. Age of Consent. Available at: <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_consent>. Access date: 09/02/17.

WIKIPEDIA. Ages of Consent in Asia. Available at: <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Asia>. Access date: 08/29/17.

1I wanted to get a review of this from Hikari, who is authoring this text with me. But after a recent report on BBC and some very worrying statements by James Cantor, I felt it was imperative to post this immediately.

2“Attraction to minors” and “pedophilia” are related concepts, but not symnonimous. A minor-attracted person may or may not be a pedophile.

5Here, I’m talking about attraction to minors as a feeling, which is just what it is. I’m not talking about forms of expression.

12“Chronophilia”: attraction to a certain age range.

15“DSM”: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. “ICD”: International Classification of Diseases. In ICD, pedophilia is listed at F65.4, “disorders of sexual preference (65): pedophilia (4)”.

19Though that’s open for debate, because there’s no agreement on what “acting on it” means.

22From personal experience, I find this internalization specially iatrogenic when it’s done to the extent of well-meaning pedophiles starting to see an appeal in “real” child sex abuse. Before, they would be only sexually interested in mutually willing relationships that could or not be sexual, engaged in fantasy, but then they start to wonder how coercion would feel. That happened to a friend and, even if he is non-offending, I still find it disturbing that the public image of the pedophile, once planted in pedophiles themselves, can turn a sincere, well-meaning child lover into a real kid rapist. That means that the propagation of stigma by media could very well be increasing child sex abuse rates, in my honest opinion.

25“Contact issue”: the debate around age of consent. If you are favorable to lowering or abolishing age of consent, you are “pro-contact”. If you are favorable to keeping age of consent the way it is or rising it, you are “anti-contact”.

27See the study’s “Discussion” section and it’s “Conclusion”.

32“Contact-neutral”: the attitude of someone who prefers not to pick a side in the contact issue. That can mean that they are unsure, they are trying to be impartial or they don’t participate in the debate at all.

33For one, they helped to remove pedophilia from DSM in favor of pedophillic disorder, meaning that you are only disturbed if you act on it illegally or if you are distressed by the feelings. If you are thankful for that change, it’s thanks to them too. The program of the symposium, which happened in 2011, is still online. http://www.b4uact.org/research/past-symposium/

34The French petition against age of consent and the PNVD, for example.

36In the case of pedophilia, that implies depathologizing it, that is, make society recognize that pedophilia isn’t an illness, which in partially done.

Anúncios

40 Comentários »

  1. […] I wrote a text on attraction to minors and it can be read in this site, here. […]

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    Pingback por An e-mail that I sent to Gay Star News. | Analecto — 14 de julho de 2018 @ 14:56

  2. […] Eu escrevi um texto sobre atração por menores, que pode ser lido neste sítio aqui. […]

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    Pingback por Um e-mail que eu mandei pro Gay Star News. | Analecto — 14 de julho de 2018 @ 14:48

  3. […] Pedophilia is a problem that is smaller than it seems. In fact, as a romantic or sexual attraction, it’s no problem at all. […]

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    Pingback por Notes on “Paedophilia”. | Analecto — 5 de julho de 2018 @ 16:46

  4. […] of a person never getting sexually involved to a child while feeling interest towards adults does not disqualify the person as pedophile, if it’s easier for a child to incite them arousal than an […]

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    Pingback por Notes on Rivas’ “Positive Memories.” | Analecto — 4 de julho de 2018 @ 14:55

  5. […] Yure and the contribution of other MAPs (I’m sorry my memory is so awful to remember) is the MAP Starting Guide which helps being acquainted with the concepts used in the communities you might stumble upon when […]

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    Pingback por Happy Alice Day! – Pro-Pedo Front — 25 de abril de 2018 @ 07:08

    • Aah, must be the girl lover equivalent to the international boy love day. First time hearing about it.

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      Comentário por Yure — 25 de abril de 2018 @ 13:22

  6. […] The book’s goal is to attract attention to positive relationships between adults and children, because news aren’t being impartial by only showing negative relationships (for a possible reason why news do that, see “MAP Starting Guide“). […]

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    Pingback por Notes on “Boys and Their Contacts With Men”. | Analecto — 20 de janeiro de 2018 @ 16:31

  7. […] you are may not correspond to what people think you […]

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    Pingback por Notes on “Beyond Good and Evil”. | Analecto — 25 de novembro de 2017 @ 19:16

  8. […] terms in scientific literature is problematic, because there are adult-child relationships that aren’t negative. In those cases, there’s no victim and, if there’s no victim, there’s no abuse. […]

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    Pingback por “A Meta-Analytic Examination of Assumed Properties of Child Sexual Abuse Using College Samples”, by Rind, Bauserman and Tromovitch. | Analecto — 10 de novembro de 2017 @ 18:24

  9. […] Pedophilia is a problem that is smaller than it seems. In fact, as a romantic or sexual attraction, it’s no problem at all. […]

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    Pingback por Anotações sobre “Paedophilia: the Radical Case.” | Analecto — 5 de novembro de 2017 @ 21:14

  10. […] of a person never getting sexually involved to a child while feeling interest towards adults does not disqualify the person as pedophile, if it’s easier for a child to incite them arousal than an […]

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    Pingback por Anotações sobre “Positive Memories: Cases of Positive Memories of Erotic and Platonic Contacts of Children With Adults, as Seen From the Perspective of the Former Minor.” | Analecto — 6 de outubro de 2017 @ 19:54

  11. […] terms in scientific literature is problematic, because there are adult-child relationships that aren’t negative. In those cases, there’s no victim and, if there’s no victim, there’s no abuse. […]

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    Pingback por Anotações sobre “a meta-analytic examination of assumed properties of child sexual abuse using college samples.” | Analecto — 1 de outubro de 2017 @ 14:13

  12. […] Today, I officially turn 25. I received an e-mail from the Lower House today. In Brazil, there are two ways for someone to suggest a law: Senate site and Lower House site. So, after I wrote Statutory Rape (a heads-up: I edited the text and added more stuff after Apertado translated it, meaning that the English version is technically incomplete), a text that exposes all problems of the article 217-A in the Penal Code, I decided to take things to Justin Bailey mode and sent my idea to the Lower House. There, it would be sent to someone who had patience to read. That was in July. Today, someone with patience received my message and it will be read. Basically, I propose a return to how things were before 2009, back when a relationship with a minor would only be criminal if the minor was forced, harmed or if the parents didn’t agree with it. That way, a harmless relationship that is approved by all parties (parents, minor and interested) wouldn’t need to be punished. It wouldn’t even be considered “pedophilia”, despite being clinically so, if the interested party is an adult. That’s because laymen think that positive relationships with minors aren’t pedophilia, because, for most people, pedophilia is just child rape, which isn’t true. […]

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    Pingback por Presente de aniversário. | Analecto — 28 de setembro de 2017 @ 19:02

  13. Por que não tentamos tratar pedófilos em vez de homossexuais?

    https://brasil.elpais.com/brasil/2017/09/19/deportes/1505778433_705974.html

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    Comentário por N — 20 de setembro de 2017 @ 03:23

    • Porque geralmente não é considerado doença. Em adição, os meios de tratamento atualmente vigentes pra desordem pedofílica estão saindo de moda, porque são os mesmo métodos usados pra tratar a homossexualidade. Eles simplesmente não prestam. O melhor que se pode fazer é evitar a reincidência, mas curar é impossível. Eu tenho o mesmo texto em português abaixo.
      https://pedrapapeletesoura.wordpress.com/2015/10/01/parece-confortavel/

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      Comentário por Yure — 20 de setembro de 2017 @ 12:50

  14. “”And there are proposals to rise it to twenty-five.””

    Seriously? Pls + info

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    Comentário por Anon — 17 de setembro de 2017 @ 03:19

  15. Hi, I feel great after reading your article. Thanks. :-)

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    Comentário por Anônimo — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 19:44

    • I just want you to feel better. I’m glad I did it. You are welcome. Sleep well.

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      Comentário por Yure — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 20:11

  16. Thank you for asking for letting know about this article you wrote. You did a splendid job with this. I will surely share this with many of my friends and keep it as reference, especially for those MAPs I often encounter who are confused by themselves and/or just need to familiarize themselves more with the terminologies of our community.

    This also serves well as an introduction to people who rather approach us in a more open way after deciding to see to us more than just whatever the dominant narrative decides to say about us, like they do with countless other topics. Hopefully, this will inform and make them realize that there is more to Child Lovers than just “monsters that need to be purged out of their existence”. Having said that, I will spread this around, you did an awesome job at this. Thanks for taking your time to redact this.

    Also, if I might add, I love the references you included in this. So not only is the writing itself going to help them, but if they decide to explore the sources you used, it would help people even more by getting indulged into our community and exploring deeper into other aspects that are present.

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    Comentário por propedofront — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 02:36

    • Thank you for letting me

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      Comentário por propedofront — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 02:38

    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I’ll start working on a Portuguese translation to this. You once told me that you speak Spanish. A translation to Spanish would be nice too.

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      Comentário por Yure — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 12:23

      • Yes, it would be nice to translate it to Spanish and I could certainly help in that. There is something that now I am intrigued about though. How would I translate the terminology of MAP to Spanish? To my knowledge, I haven’t seen any Spanish speaking pedophile using that term or having a translated abbreviation, something I would say like PAM (Person Atraídas a Menores) in my time around. I will have to check on whether there is already an existing term equal to MAP in Spanish if I would have to make a translation like that or if just leaving it as MAP anyways…

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        Comentário por propedofront — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 14:05

        • That would also be the abbreviation in Portuguese. I prefer not to abbreviate, tho. I avoided the use of “MAP” here, besides the title, but that’s because abbreviations pet-peeve me. “PAM (‘MAP’ em inglês)” is fine, I think.

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          Comentário por Yure — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 16:07

          • To be honest, PAM sounds like some kind of canned product to me, so I’m still unsure in how to use it, lol. I mean, someone has to eventually do it anyways, I guess. It could also be “IAM” (Individuos Atraídos a Menores)? Though to not go to far from it’s mother definition, I suppose PAM is also fine…

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            Comentário por propedofront — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 19:21

            • IAM is cooler sounding (“I am”).

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              Comentário por Yure — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 20:12

              • Hmmm, I might as well use that one then, but I first have to check if some other fellow Spanish Speaking MAP started coining a term for us in Spanish… I might ask a friend I have in my Facebook.

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                Comentário por propedofront — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 20:42

                • I’ll send you the Funposting. I also prepared that with Hikari, Jessy, Frenchfrog and many others.

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                  Comentário por Yure — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 21:08

                  • Thank you, I will also propagate that. My gratitude for sharing these with me.

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                    Comentário por propedofront — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 22:08

                    • You can share with whoever you wish, but I recommend sharing that only with pro-contact MAPs, however. I don’t want to offend anyone and that’s a solid rock that may be tough to swallow by general population, for example. Just a recommendation.

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                      Comentário por Yure — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 22:13

                    • Yeah, I pretty much shared it with pro-contacts already. I see anti-contacts wouldn’t entirely agree with said other guide, except for the pedophiles destigmatization sections. Thanks again. This definitely also went to the archive section I have on a mostly pro-contact Discord server I run.

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                      Comentário por propedofront — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 22:33

                    • I think Hikari would like to join. Also, for the record, some sections in Funposting are hard even for me to agree with. Some stuff there is pretty hardcore. Then again, I’m not the only author.

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                      Comentário por Yure — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 22:40

                    • I mean, for me it would depend whether those positions are based in facts and the reality of them being applied in current society. Like for example, I agree with abolishing the age of consent entirely, but I know that if such things were to happen, it would also require the change in many other things, therefore it becoming a process, not something that it could just be changed from yesterday to today. Most of the things have to do with how things have to switch from traditional methods to allowing more individual freedom of choosing how to approach to their lives, which would also include children as individuals themselves.

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                      Comentário por propedofront — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 22:51

                    • I made another text on age of consent, but you know that one already, from Brongersma. Thanks for you input.

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                      Comentário por Yure — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 23:11

                    • Oh, and feel free to let me know if you want a Discord invite, I could email it to you.

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                      Comentário por propedofront — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 22:52

  17. In which countries is the age of consent more than 18? can you give me some information?

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    Comentário por Usyary — 15 de setembro de 2017 @ 02:06

  18. Greetings Yuri

    You have done an excellent job on this article. I personally am attracted to boys between age 7 – 17 years old. I do not understand why Humans think that recreational sex is important. It is not sacred nor profane, it is Human. All humans have organisms from infants until old age. It does not matter if they are wet or dry. If you are a Human you are having them and it does not matter if you wish it or not.
    There is only consensual sex or non-consensual sex. There is no other kind of sex. All consensual sex is harmless and fun whereas all non-consensual sex is bad. Age has nothing to do with it. All Humans may do whatever pleases them as long as they do it in private.
    All age laws are nonsense. Humans do what they do based upon individual desire, ability and intent. No human does anything because of their physical age, body shape, I.Q., tribe, race, religion, Social Class, Gender, sexuality etc. It doesn’t work like that. Also… no Being in our multi-verse is existing at a different time from you. All Humans are deserving of exactly the same rights. You are all Beings living at the same time in this “Now” and none of you know how long you or any other will be sharing this world together. This is why it is forbidden for any Human to tell any other Human what they may or may not do.
    Universal Law is the only law which states “All Beings are entitled to shelter, potable water, healthy food, all manner of education/training and all expressions of healthcare. All Humans may do whatever they desire as long as they do no harm to others or to their environment.”
    Finally, you should care about where you are standing, what you are thinking and how you are treating those about you; NOT where others are staning, what others are thinking or how others are treating those about them. No Humans are meant to be the judges of the world. Love each other and play nice together and respect your Planet.

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    Comentário por octaevius — 14 de setembro de 2017 @ 15:08


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