Analecto

15 de abril de 2018

Kierkegaard’s “Diary of a Seducer”.

Filed under: Livros, Passatempos, Saúde e bem-estar — Tags:, , — Yurinho @ 23:54

“Diary of a Seducer” was written by Søren Aabye Kierkegaard. Below are some notes that I made about that text.

  1. It’s always a thrill to read your friend’s personal diary.
  2. There’s always something that you don’t know about your old friends.
  3. Talent for poetry can be detected on someone’s speech.
  4. When your private life is too immersive, you don’t feel like you belong to the reality “outside”.
  5. Some people invest more time in their private lives because the reality outside is boring to them.
  6. Not feeling appalled by reality isn’t a sign of weakness, but of sick levels of strength.
  7. Noticing your lack of sensitivity may aggravate it.
  8. Sex is not the only reason why people seduce each other; some seduce for affection.
  9. Often, you can’t tell for sure who is the seducing party and who is the seduced party.
  10. You can not escape from yourself.
  11. Intellectuals also have sexuality.
  12. Secrets are seducing.
  13. A woman can steal a man’s complete attention span, even if she isn’t present.
  14. If you seduced a person and then dumps them, pray that the person hasn’t become obsessed, which might be dangerous for your safety.
  15. It’s unfair to stop loving a person when your love is all that is left for that person.
  16. Will you regret dumping that person?
  17. If you fall in love with person prone to cheating, you better be good at waiting for your turn.
  18. When you write with passion, your feelings become more obvious than your reasoning and arguments.
  19. No one is shy when no one is around.
  20. Tears are declarations of suffering: crying is the same as asking to stop.
  21. A woman is more beautiful without accessories or makeup.
  22. Beware not to become engaged with a person you do not love.
  23. Teeth are a defense mechanism against forced kisses.
  24. If you want to praise someone without using words, pretend to be shy around that person, so they can feel like they are important.
  25. Two people can be in love, enjoy that love, and still face disapproval from society.
  26. A person’s current mood can modify their current openness to an idea.
  27. When you make a new friend, don’t act as if you know everything about them already, or you may cause embarrassment.
  28. Isn’t it sad when you see someone cry because the person they were expecting didn’t show up?
  29. Take advantage of a person’s current mood.
  30. The first contact is the hardest.
  31. Love first, sex second.
  32. Maximizing pleasure requires control.
  33. Sometimes we have sex without really wanting it, just due to peer pressure or to please the other party.
  34. To keep a person’s sexual interest, you must invest in variety.
  35. Sometimes we need luck to succeed and luck often fails us.
  36. Boredom can make you insane.
  37. Falling in love without knowing if the loved person already has a lover, where they live or who are their parents… is frustrating.
  38. Commitment status is the first thing you need to know, so you don’t spend your efforts in trying to seduce a person who would never give into you.
  39. Too many responsibilities, too few certainties, can also make you insane.
  40. Don’t marry if you don’t love that person.
  41. The more you hide, the worse it will feel to be found out.
  42. If you are hiding, stay silent.
  43. If you don’t pay attention to others, you won’t notice that they pay attention to you.
  44. You can be in love and not notice it’s love.
  45. It’s hard to say what’s beautiful, but it’s easy to say what you like.
  46. If you want to conquer a person’s heart, try pretending that it’s not what you are attempting to do.
  47. Overprotecting your children is a crime with lifelong punishment.
  48. Keeping your child from building friendships is toxic to the kid.
  49. You can’t assume that all sixteen-year-old adolescents are virgins.
  50. Not using makeup makes a women more appealing to “real men”.
  51. Women should also have men as friends, not only as sexual partners or romantic partners.
  52. Conquering a person requires knowledge about that person’s beliefs.
  53. Don’t be easy.
  54. Your speech must be prepared beforehand, so you don’t improvise more than necessary.
  55. There are different kinds of smile: friendly, sarcastic, cynical, shy, polite…
  56. A woman with some mental characteristics that are usually considered “masculine” is also appealing.
  57. There are women who envy men for their commonly attributed gender role.
  58. When a person plays music, their current mood leaks into the improvisation.
  59. Your memories often lie about the intensity of an event that indeed happened.
  60. Do not invade the privacy of the person you love.
  61. You can’t truly learn about love from reading fiction.
  62. A beautiful woman who has nothing but beauty must abandon all hopes to ever find a man.
  63. Same goes to men.
  64. If you were frustrated too many times, you will likely stop trying.
  65. Conquering a person requires common interests.
  66. Apply subtle praise: doing so might make the person wish to be around you more often, because you increase their self-esteem without looking like you do it on purpose.
  67. Shy people also have feelings, but don’t know how to deal with them.
  68. Use normal clothing for normal occasions, nothing fancy.
  69. A woman who likes to be in control will prefer shy men, so pretend you are shy and, when the relationship is going, gradually leave that disguise.
  70. Feeling nervous around someone you like is a sensation that varies from person to person, with some not feeling it to the point of being unable to act.
  71. You can’t ever say that you have felt “real love”, because testing if your love for that person is the highest form of love would require falling in love with everyone to gauge how much love you feel for each person.
  72. Befriend other people who are interested in the person you love: that both allows you to anticipate their movements and also allows you to keep an image of someone who is not interested in her.
  73. You must train your speech for your future mother-in-law.
  74. Try to be useful to the mother-in-law, so you can acquire her trust.
  75. Don’t talk about the daughter in front of her mother, in order to keep the atmosphere of “I don’t want to get romantically involved with her”.
  76. A person may be younger than they look and still act older than they look.
  77. If the woman is young, even if she’s older than you, mind games are likely to work if you are good at them.
  78. Keeping your intentions concealed keeps you out of suspicion.
  79. An intelligent, beautiful and rich man who isn’t interested in women is a cause of frustration for women who desire him.
  80. The “no involvement” aura allows the lover to observe the loved person from afar, as the loved doesn’t know if they are being lusted over or not.
  81. You should never follow seduction formulas too strictly.
  82. Don’t spend too long getting dressed.
  83. You should employ the help of friends in the task of seduction, by forming a staged scene, for example.
  84. Only after you have gotten the trust of all people around the loved person you should give hints of your true intention.
  85. Making soft jokes about the loved person, without being offensive, may be useful.
  86. Don’t limit her freedom, but don’t let her limit yours either.
  87. If each person can be loved in a different way, then it’s possible to fall in love with more than one person at once.
  88. You can’t love a single person for your entire life, even if it’s possible to commit to a single person.
  89. If you have nothing to wear, ask others to lend you.
  90. When “befriending” rivals, your friendship must be convincing.
  91. Seduction is hard.
  92. Lend books to the loved person.
  93. Take advantage of other people who are interested in the person you love.
  94. When you lend books, make sure to pick one that plays in your favor.
  95. The mysterious aura of “no involvement” must be kept until the proper time.
  96. If you develop a profound “friendship” with one of the people who are interested in the loved person, you can anticipate their movements.
  97. When you reject someone, you may feel bad about it, reevaluate and then accept them.
  98. When in love, make no promises.
  99. If the loved person promises you something and you know that they won’t be able to fulfill the promise, let them do it and break the promise eventually, so that the loved person may feel like they need your forgiveness.
  100. If you give a prize someone for making a specific confession, they will confess everything that you wish them to confess.
  101. Seduction is mind manipulation and is, of course, different from naturally grown love.
  102. If we are talking about love, then seduction isn’t needed, even though it can be employed.
  103. The goal of real seduction is to make that person love you more than they love anyone else.
  104. If you make a good job, the person will remain interested in you even after you break up with her.
  105. Make that person fear that other people would be in love with them.
  106. Mention that you are in love, but don’t say who is the person of interest.
  107. Some people pay others to write love letters, so they can deliver it to a loved person and pretend that they wrote it.
  108. What’s the point of engagement anyway?
  109. Only an artist can judge another.
  110. After you confess your love to the woman, your rival will likely be extremely mad at you, so, if you managed to earn the trust of you soon-to-be mother-in-law, say that the engagement was arranged by her recommendation (blame the woman’s mother).
  111. To further soothe your rival’s anger, make use of the “friendship” that you built with him.
  112. Keep the love alive, or the woman will lose interest.
  113. If the relationship involved seduction, rather than naturally grown love, lies are to be expected.
  114. The better you hide, the more you cheat.
  115. The best seduction is done by people who don’t want sex, but control.
  116. Real love is indifferent to the person’s past, family heritage or criminal record.
  117. Love has it’s own morals.
  118. That means that some acts that are often considered “wrong” seem justified when done for love.
  119. It’s boring to seduce a person who is forced to tag along you, that is, who isn’t free.
  120. A relationship from which the lovers draw more than simple affection is harder to break.
  121. Seduction implies not being always honest.
  122. Use face-to-face conversations to stimulate the passion, while using written word to moderate it.
  123. Learn with your past romances.
  124. Teenagers are great at manipulation, you should take classes with them.
  125. Some things can not be solved without acting impulsively.
  126. Your job is a source of prejudice about you.
  127. A note is better than a letter, if you wish to cause arousal.
  128. Talking to someone isn’t a matter of words alone, but also a matter of voice tone, gestures and facial expressions.
  129. If you send a message to someone, never ask if they read it, just assume that they read it.
  130. Praise prudently.
  131. The presence of emotional control mechanisms doesn’t guarantee you will be able to make use of said mechanisms.
  132. When you love, you want others to love your beloved as well, because hating your beloved is an insult to you.
  133. Pass the impression that you belong to your lover, without actually belonging to them.
  134. If your beloved doesn’t have the desire that you want them to have, make sure to produce that desire on them.
  135. Text can be more influential than speech.
  136. Paying attention to the surroundings is the first step to philosophize.
  137. There’s no “science of kissing”.
  138. If you kiss too much, it will become a less meaningful act for your beloved, which may pose a problem when inciting or calming emotions.
  139. Don’t marry unless you have no choice.
  140. Don’t bind your hair.
  141. Is it worth it to live forever without your beloved?
  142. Women’s cruelty is the harshest kind (see Sirach 25:13).
  143. A woman can be cruel with no apparent reason or no reason at all (men too, tho).
  144. The person who moves their body is more appealing than a sedentary person.
  145. Giving birth looks so painful, that the horrors of war look more bearable.
  146. The seduction method varies according to what you want from that person (not everyone seduces for sex or romance).
  147. A repeated hug is worth more than a wedding ring.
  148. Hedonistic people don’t often think about the future.
  149. Love fears being limited.
  150. Once you are bored of the person you seduced, make them dump you, so it doens’t look like you were mean to them.

2 Comentários »

  1. Diaries were popular in the Victorian Age. Anne Frank kept a famous one. Do you keep one Yuri? I would be thrilled to read it. 🙂 I do not keep one.

    Curtir

    Comentário por octaevius — 17 de abril de 2018 @ 14:29

    • I used to keep one when I was an adolescent, at age 14. Once I was done writing it, I ripped the pages and put one page in each of my classmates notebooks. Except for a few ones, which were about my sexuality (including a very brief reference to the MAP thing). Those I shared with a girl I liked. She responded well, but we stayed just friends.

      Curtido por 1 pessoa

      Comentário por Yure — 17 de abril de 2018 @ 19:37


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