21 de janeiro de 2019

What I learned by reading “Harmful to Minors”.

Filed under: Livros, Notícias e política — Tags:, — Yure @ 15:54

Harmful to Minors: the perils of protecting children from sex” was written by Judith Levine. Below, what I learned from reading this book.

  1. Means of censoring content online end up censoring legitimate content.
  2. For example, America Online even blocked the word “breast”, which blocked search results on breast cancer.
  3. In addition, these filters can be used to block things that have nothing to do with sexuality, such as certain political ideologies.
  4. There is a sexual crisis going on in America.
  5. Americans are leaders in teenage pregnancy, abortion, sexually transmitted diseases, rape, child sexual abuse, among other problems.
  6. Despite this, no one wants to talk about sex education or about sex in general in a constructive manner.
  7. There is a fear of discussing these problems, because the experts who touch the subject are subject to criticism, which can cost them their jobs.
  8. There are parents who want their children to receive sex education, but the government is reluctant to make it a mandatory component in the school curriculum.
  9. The sex education we have is guided by our political ideologies, rather than guided by scientifically accurate data.
  10. If our children and adolescents are sexually uninformed, none of these problems (rape, sexual abuse, STD and others) will diminish.
  11. Our young people are already having sex without a condom, so how giving condoms to them is encouragement to have sex?
  12. Chastity vows are easier to rupture, compared to condoms.
  13. Young people are the ones most in need of sexual information: if they do not learn from us, they will learn from someone else .
  14. There is an implicit conservative political agenda in many child protection efforts .
  15. It’s okay to be against abortion, but what’s the point of giving more importance to the fetus than to the child after the child is born ?
  16. There must be access to sexual information at any age.
  17. It’s dangerous to treat sex as dangerous.
  18. To give sexual education is to teach self-esteem, good decision-making and self-respect.
  19. The book industry suffers from a lack of people with erudition, seriousness and courage.
  20. Danger is the mother of morals.
  21. It is possible for a child or adolescent to experience sexual pleasure without being put at risk.
  22. Books on this subject are extremely unpopular and do not sell well.
  23. This is not something inherent to the book, but to the social climate; it wasn’t like that before.
  24. The people who consume books about childhood education are usually parents and they do not want something that conflicts with their beliefs.
  25. A discussion about child sexuality becomes questionable if the term “pleasure” is included.
  26. The author had a hard time trying to publish this book because no publisher would want a book that would not sell well for cultural, political, or economic reasons (the book is from 2002, four years after the publication of the Rind Report and three years after the controversy began).
  27. Ironically, the book is precisely about those forces that almost prevented the publication of the book.
  28. These forces can be synthesized in one word: fear.
  29. The fear of child sexuality is recent, but founded on a combination of historical elements.
  30. A lot of damage done to children is done cynically under the mask of “protection.
  31. Such policies of repression of child sexuality often result in the opposite of protection .
  32. Children and adolescents do not need a fear-based policy .
  33. Interestingly, it is when there are more privatizations that we speak more about family values.
  34. In a society that values ​​the family, people who “have no family” are marginalized (including homosexuals and neglected elders).
  35. Confused parents end up turning to the “professional advice” given by the media.
  36. Parents’ magazines capitalize on the fear that parents feel.
  37. The more vague an article in these magazines, the more they sell, as vague titles attract more attention from a larger number of people.
  38. After leaving parents scared to death about what might happen to their children, these magazines then offer a solution, but of course it is not a free solution.
  39. They are, therefore, undercover ads.
  40. Several media outlets are there just to say that you are raising your children incorrectly, making you feel guilt, even if you are a great parent.
  41. In this atmosphere, instilling fear of child sexuality is another way to earn money .
  42. If sex can make a person both happy and unhappy , the concern for having sex the “right” way grows.
  43. Sex becomes a risk for vulnerable people (women and children).
  44. This fear of risk came from two major sources: feminism and religion .
  45. Feminism has propagated the idea that women are frequent victims and the religious right has propagated the idea that children and women are naturally averse to sex (the result can only be the idea of inherent harm ).
  46. Thus, it is the alliance between feminism and the conservative Christian right that is behind, for example, the hatred towards pornography and prostitution, calling them “violence against women”, even when there’s women willingly producing porn of themselves.
  47. If there is no abuse, the mental health market is willing to invent one just for you.
  48. The fear of abortion, divorce, homosexuality, sexual contact between minors and sexual education are all one: fear of the elimination of the sacrosanct traditional family.
  49. That encourages conspiracy theories.
  50. And also feeds political strategies and professional opportunism .
  51. In a hysterical situation, it is difficult to find a person willing to discuss these matters rationally.
  52. Hysteria can reach the judiciary.
  53. The child or adolescent who desires sexual contact is taught to deny satisfaction when opportunity arises.
  54. 90% of American heterosexuals lose their virginity before marriage, even before the age of twenty.
  55. Sex occurs earlier and earlier, in more and more sophisticated forms.
  56. One in four sexually active teens contracted (in the United States) a sexually transmitted disease (perhaps because no one wants to give condoms to those boys).
  57. The sexual revolution was a revolution for women: women felt empowered to have more sexual agency, while men continued to act as they always did.
  58. So if the sexual revolution was a time of much sex, it happened because more women said “yes” to sex (unlike today).
  59. Women felt freer.
  60. Two out of ten girls have sex for the first time before age fifteen.
  61. In the fifties, no one complained if teenagers married.
  62. Losing your virginity does not mean that the tyke will become a pervert: many young people have sex less than ten times a year.
  63. Parents prefer to ignore the sexual knowledge of their children and are always surprised to know how much they know about sex “without being taught about sex”.
  64. “Specialists” are not ready to admit that children and adolescents have sexual contact because they like it, preferring to rationalize their behavior with a series of negative presumptions (they say that little ones do it due to peer pressure, grooming, contact with porn, drugs, they always say it is a bad reason).
  65. To make matters worse, these rationalizations find little or no empirical foundation.
  66. That is because this kind of subject is taboo even in science, which is founded by the government, which in turn capitalizes on public opinion.
  67. No one wants to admit that the child or adolescent has sexual contact because it is nice, because they like the person with whom they have this contact, because it increases their self-esteem ….
  68. Remember: it is possible to prevent AIDS.
  69. If sex is bad, it can not be said that it feels good (the same strategy used in education about drugs).
  70. Teenagers know how to use a condom and are sometimes more assiduous users of it than adults are.
  71. You do not want your children to get hurt, but parents are willing to let their children take risks .
  72. Why would it be different with sexuality ?
  73. The belief that sex is dangerous is not even two centuries old .
  74. Doctrines such as “the mind is a blank sheet” or “the human being is born good and is corrupted by society” were the first elements to pave the way for the concern over what the child is learning from us, adults.
  75. Previously, growth was gradual, but today it goes through fixed stages.
  76. Sexual knowledge also came gradually, rather than being reserved for people of a certain age group.
  77. In places where there are few women, they have more sexual freedom, but they are also victimized more often.
  78. The minimum age for marriage in some places could be as low as twelve years if sex in and out of marriage was common.
  79. In ancient religious communities, premarital sex could be forgiven if those involved married, so that many women married when already pregnant.
  80. With the invention of adolescence as a “critical stage of life,” even adolescents (12 to 17) came to have their sexuality repressed by the concern to create it in the right way.
  81. Sexuality is spoken of as an evil force, rather than innate and constructive.
  82. It is as if sexuality was a “normal pathology.”
  83. This is because so many Victorian concepts are still in vogue in the collective unconscious, including, of course, the concept of “innocent child.”
  84. Progressive policies have built a wall between childhood and adulthood, with each new brick separating the two worlds more and more.
  85. On the other hand, the economical progress tries to open holes in this wall using the concept of adolescence.
  86. For example, the employment of adolescents as a work force, which, of course, exposes them to the “adult” world, where sexuality is a present element (rather, a visible element).
  87. Mass media, including the Internet, are sources of information for children and adolescents, which includes sexual knowledge.
  88. Nowadays, you have a child in college and adults in school, you can not talk about different universes.
  89. Adult and child are categories that tend to be reconciled.
  90. The only difference between adult and child is dependence, since in everything else (economics, politics , sexuality and, when this occurs, war) the child participates in adult vicissitudes.
  91. Ask yourself: does sex really hurt?
  92. How can children be innocent if we are born in sin ?
  93. “Adolescence” is a social concept , not biological.
  94. There is great anxiety among parents who want to develop perfect children, which ultimately serves to create frustrated parents who punish children too much.
  95. If the child is innocent, how does she practice “evil” acts so easily without having learned them?
  96. In many countries, the age of consent is higher than the age of criminal responsibility.
  97. Thus, in the United States, a 12-yearold can not have sex, but can be tried as an adult if he or she commits a serious crime (including sex before age sixteen) or if the system dealing with minor offenders decides that the defendent deserves adult criminal treatment (in Brazil, you can have sex at the age of fourteen and can only be tried as an adult from the age of eighteen).
  98. This is done in the best interest of the child, supposedly.
  99. Since childhood is a social construct, it also ends up being filled with ideological elements, so no one agrees with what would be the “best interest” of the child.
  100. The relationship between childhood and sexuality is a moral issue.
  101. For some people, age is the first criterion of morality in a sexual relationship, so that, unless the person is at the age of consent, sex would be immoral, regardless of any other element of the relationship.
  102. For others, the criteria of marital status and sexual orientation come second: unless the person is heterosexual, adult and married, sex would be immoral.
  103. Sexual education presupposes that the child or adolescent will have sexual contact throughout his or her life, even if not penetrative, before adulthood, so it is better to teach them how to deal with it.
  104. The child or adolescent who sees sexuality as positive will not necessarily grow unhappy or immoral.
  105. The purpose of sex education is to teach the child and adolescent to live their sexuality responsibly.
  106. If this is not done, the number of young people infected with HIV each year (20,000) will not decrease.
  107. We are aggravating the sexual crisis.
  108. Sexual contact is not inherently harmful; it is the circumstances that can make the sexual experience harmful that should be avoided.
  109. The elements of the sexual crisis are also present in other social problems.
  110. Some people think that women hate sex and would never do it willingly.
  111. The greatest risk factor for sexual abuse is not the desire for physical intimacy, but social inequality, which prevents certain sectors of society from having good education, good health and livelihood.
  112. Sex is part of life, it should not be treated differently from other sectors of life (there is no need to differentiate between “normal” and “pornographic” art, between normal and sexual education, between normal politics and sexual politics).
  113. There should not be a category of “sexual abuse” as abuse is abuse, sexual or not.
  114. Sexual contact before the age of fourteen does not have to be something that is always immoral.
  115. In the same way, our approach to children’s desire is not always moral.
  116. Protecting someone from a nonexistent risk is harmful.
  117. Sexuality is not inherently harmful, so what must be combated are the circumstances that make the sexual experience objectively negative.
  118. Our culture puts extreme importance on sex.
  119. If the adult is expected to be sexually experienced, then the rudiments of sexuality should be taught before adulthood so that the adult sexual life is good.
  120. The child is at the same time underestimated by being ignorant in sexual matters, but also praised for his “innocence”, so that child ignorance is taken as positive or negative depending on the context (double standard).
  121. We keep the child ignorant through censorship.
  122. Public policies censor any “sexual” material that could fall into the hands of “children”, but the terms “sex” and “child” are not clearly defined.
  123. Some works of fiction that include childish nudity, even if not in the form of images, but only in the form of text, cause astonishment.
  124. A group of beer brewers was not licensed to operate because the group’s mascot was a frog showing the middle finger, with a caption written “amphibian with attitude.”
  125. “Toilet humor” is also considered improper for small ones, although it is their favorite subject.
  126. It is tragic when even sex education teachers can not talk about sex with the kids who attend those classes.
  127. When the media becomes massed, separating audiences becomes very difficult , but it has already been realized that “sex sells” and that there are children who consume objects that we adults consider “inappropriate.”
  128. But centuries ago, none of this mattered, and the child also participated in the adult sexual world.
  129. So it can not be said that today’s children are “more sexualized than ever”; if you look at the history of childhood, you will see that there were times when even children had full sex.
  130. The meaning of the term “sex” came to include things that do not even have physical existence.
  131. Children and adolescents sometimes prefer to do online sex experiments.
  132. They learn about sex on television .
  133. It is possible to learn about sex and have the first fantasies consuming the news.
  134. Indicative classification (those ratings according to age, such as “adults only”) is a thing of the last century, it’s very recent.
  135. Children’s media is organized according to what the child wants to see.
  136. Today’s kids consume the media that only teenagers could consume yesterday.
  137. Child sexuality can not be eliminated, so what are we doing?
  138. We are making child sexuality invisible, thinking that we are eliminating it, when we are only pushing it away from our eyes.
  139. Knowledge is a human right.
  140. The boy is curious and we consider his curiosity a virtue.
  141. But to say that the child is curious is also a way of rationalizing sexual behavior that, in fact, is based on the search for pleasure.
  142. The child who learns about sex will not necessarily want to try to have sex.
  143. Sexual practices vary according to time and place (for example, there was a time when a man attracted to other men was not seen as homosexual because it was a time when sexual identity did not exist, so no sexuality was spoken of as a separate category).
  144. Why not give lessons on the sexual acts present in the Holy Bible (incest, prostitution, adultery, among others )?
  145. Conservative sex education turns out to be sexual indoctrination.
  146. Obscenity is in the eyes of the beholder.
  147. Tell a girl that she should not do a certain thing and she will likely feel an urge to do just that.
  148. Perhaps the fundamental principle of laws against obscenity is the idea that “some people may have bad thoughts”.
  149. Thus laws against obscenity that punish harmless acts are laws that aim to protect a metaphysical good: purity of thought.
  150. Where is the evidence that exposure to sexuality, in the form of images or words, is harmful to minors?
  151. In the case of adults, this connection is non-existent: the adult who sees pornography does not become a rapist (unless you stretch the meaning of rape to a metaphysical extent to include masturbating to porn in the category of rape).
  152. On the contrary: the presence of pornography reduces sexual crimes in territories where it is easily accessible .
  153. There is no evidence that pornography harms minors.
  154. Interviews with criminals reveal that children who become sex offenders are actually the ones who had least contact with pornography .
  155. Most people who develop paraphilias (abnormal but not necessarily harmful sexual desires) have experienced sexual repression in childhood.
  156. The problem with these data is that they are politically irrelevant: unless the political climate of a society is open to such findings, the population and government will prefer to ignore them.
  157. Laws against access to pornography are created and sanctioned without any empirical support.
  158. It is also without empirical support that feminists attack porn.
  159. It is as if pornography is harmful only to those who are under eighteen and become innocuous at the eighteenth birthday.
  160. Even certain works of art in the museum are not safe from censorship either .
  161. Everyone can be an “expert” if they say what we want to hear.
  162. The scientific silence on these issues not only prevents scientific evidence against the exposure of minors to sexuality to appear, but also prevents the emergence of arguments in favor.
  163. So nothing changes.
  164. A lot of kids had sex education, how many of them grew up as perverted adults?
  165. If you try to ban pornography for minors in digital media, the child who knows and understands these means will subvert them.
  166. For example, there was a boy of twelve who programmed his dad’s PC to steal his own father’s password in order to download porn and sell the files to his classmates.
  167. What is the problem of allowing parents, not government, to tell what their children can see?
  168. If freedom of expression is a human right, it is also a right of the child.
  169. Teach your boy to defend himself and you will not have to defend him.
  170. The child who learns about sex will be, at best, disgusted, but not traumatized.
  171. The three-year-old who sees a sexual image will not understand or ignore it, the seventeen-year-old who sees the same picture has probably seen several already and will shrug it off.
  172. If there are no secrets, there will be no childhood, for what defines “innocence” is ignorance.
  173. Free trade, war, and information technology brought children three skills that were once reserved to adults only: to buy and sell, to fight and to learn.
  174. There are children watching and laughing at violent movies.
  175. Children of this century know things that adults in the last century may not have known: the ozone hole, global warming, the use and effects of marijuana, and where to find porn.
  176. Are all these children traumatized?
  177. Controlling your children implies depriving them of freedom, but control is not protection.
  178. Talk to your child about illegal sexual experiences, but not to the point of making them afraid to leave home, just enough so they can defend themselves and minimize harm if such contact happens.
  179. Cruelty followed by infanticide is a statistically rare crime, almost nonexistent, especially compared to other crimes.
  180. People merge pedophilia and violence in their minds, but pedophilia, by itself, has nothing to do with violence (pedophilia is the sexual attraction to children, which may never be put into practice).
  181. The misconception of pedophilia is sustained by the media, which calls “pedophilia” almost all violent crimes committed against children, even the non-sexual ones.
  182. This is because the media likes to use popular words to describe certain occurrences, both for familiarity and for attention.
  183. If pedophiles were really everywhere and if they werereally so violent, there would be no children alive in the world.
  184. Words like ” monster ” and ” dangerous ” appear in our minds when we hear the dreaded P-word.
  185. Several characteristics that are strange to the clinical concept of pedophilia (attraction to children) are grouped in the popular concept of pedophilia: the pedophile is inherently evil, acts in the dark, has more cohorts than we can count, is very intelligent …
  186. This feeds bizarre conspiracy theories.
  187. The most popular was the scandal of satanic rituals of abuse, and everyone knows what happened there.
  188. Some people think stuff along the lines of “a worldwide association of dangerous pedophiles must therefore be very rich, so the money must come from a very lucrative business”, which makes them conclude that child porn is a multimillion-dollar industry.
  189. There is a disproportionate effort to detect pedophiles: how can these billions of pedophiles have not yet all been discovered with all the technology and monitoring available to detect what appears to be such a large group?
  190. That’s because ” activepedophiles are a tiny group, in fact.
  191. Anti-pedophilia organizations, thanks to the moral panic, end up becoming very profitable companies.
  192. Because of over-concern about this problem, there is a great demand for such services, demand that comes from frightened parents.
  193. If fear sells, fear must exist.
  194. Think: if you have pedophiles everywhere, how come I’ve never seen one?
  195. The majority (95%) of the “kidnapped children” actually ran away from home, was rejected by parents or was actually abducted by a parent after the divorce.
  196. The chance of a girl dying in a car accident is twenty-five to seventy-five times greater than the chance of her being kidnapped by a pedophile.
  197. Some people accuse others of pedophilia, even when there is no visible sexual conduct, all for selfpromotion.
  198. Violent crimes against children are not getting more frequent.
  199. There is no conclusive data on the prevalence of pedophilia in the general population because the definition of pedophilia varies from judge to judge, from psychologist to psychologist, from journalist to journalist, so that the percentage of pedophiles in the United States can be 1%, 5 %, 21% or 50% depending on what you call a pedophile.
  200. The heavier laws have increased the number of crimes committed, but sexual crimes against children are still one of the rarest types of crime.
  201. “Sexual violence” can be a literal term (real violence) or moral term (non-violence, but there is a violation of community standards).
  202. Generally, “real” pedophiles, that is, people attracted to children, are not violent nor show traces of psychopathy.
  203. When an adult has sex with a child, the use of force is not a common occurrence.
  204. When there is attraction to someone, you usually do not want to hurt the person for whom you are attracted, so the pedophile who gives in to temptation may not be interested in anything penetrative.
  205. Several of the properties commonly attributed to pedophiles have no statistical significance (such low intelligence quotient, being left-handed , having been sexually active in childhood , among others, none of this is common in pedophiles sampled from the general population).
  206. This causes the term “pedophile” to be contested: does this word really mean anything ?
  207. Sexual activity in childhood does not make the child a pedophile.
  208. Most sexual contacts between adult and child are not committed by pedophiles, but by “normal” people who, in the absence of an adult partner, take advantage of a child or adolescent.
  209. To be diagnosed as a pedophile, the desire for children needs to be preferential: the desire must be greater than the desire for adults (non-exclusive) or fully replace the desire for adults (exclusive).
  210. But if there are adults attracted to minors, but whose attraction for minors is not exclusive or preferential, this means that even physical attraction to children is not a unique feature of the pedophile.
  211. If that’s the case, why do we need the P-word?
  212. If on the one hand the majority of people who have sex with minors fails in the diagnoses of pedophilia, on the other hand there are pedophiles who, understanding that their attraction is rejected by society, spend their entire lives without touching a child.
  213. This helps explain why pedophiles who were arrested for sexual contact with younger children rarely relapse in the behavior after they are released.
  214. Sex crimes have the lowest rate of recidivism.
  215. Despite all these scientific findings, parents prefer to remain fearful.
  216. You can say that out of every forty-five million children, only nine are raped and then killed, but no one who has had their child raped and killed will care about this data.
  217. The fear of pedophilia is an attempt to make strange what is ordinary: many of us are attracted to children and we project such attraction into someone else because we reject this facet of ours.
  218. Thus, the fear of pedophilia is, at least in part, reactive formation.
  219. The traditional family structure facilitates incest, so hatred for pedophilia may be a way of saying “yes, but not in my family.”
  220. That is why we have difficulty accepting that most cases of sex before the age of consent occur between people who are close to each other, rather than with strangers.
  221. If we accept that the traditional family facilitates this kind of contact, the sacrosanct traditional family will enter into crisis.
  222. In 1993, two-thirds of studies on sex with minors or between minors had problems regarding misconceptions and debased claims.
  223. Actually, when you have a traumatic experience, you won’t forget it.
  224. Any fixed list of symptoms of abuse is suspect .
  225. It is not sexual contact that is harmful in itself, but circumstances (such as betrayal of trust, pain or violence).
  226. Most harmful sexual experiences among minors or with minors are incestuous in nature.
  227. The most frequently committed sex crime against children is child pornography.
  228. Desire for teenagers is far more common than the desire for children.
  229. Attraction to teens is called ” hebephilia .”
  230. Hebephilia, although a clinical term, is too common to be considered a disease.
  231. Where is the man who can truly say that he never found a hot teenager in his life?
  232. The moral panic around pedophilia advances conservative agendas, such as the ban of women from the labor market after divorce with the husband (“who will take care of your child?”).
  233. Moral panics proliferate in situations of institutional falency, economic crisis or when civilians cease to feel in control of their own lives.
  234. In times like these, everyone is right-wing.
  235. And it was at a time of great social change, with the fear that always accompanies such changes, that the age of consent in Britain rose from thirteen to sixteen, not to mention the criminalization of homosexuality.
  236. Moral panic grew again durin the Great Depression and receeded during the Second World War.
  237. When the second war was over, it was time to restore families that collapsed because of the war, and moral panic reappeared.
  238. Thus, the moral panic over pedophilia often has a political purpose.
  239. This has also been the function of other moral panics over homosexuality and communism .
  240. Not long ago, we used to say “it is absurd that there are homosexuals in positions of prestige , we have to get them out of there!”
  241. Whatever harmed the traditional family was “degenerate.”
  242. The treatment given today to pedophiles is the treatment previously given to homosexuals.
  243. The fact that something is always in the media does not imply that such an event is frequent.
  244. The idea was to arrest anyone against the agenda of the system and the agenda of the American system after the second war was a white, heterosexual, Protestant agenda.
  245. There were groups of vigilantes to hunt homosexuals, just like the groups of vigilantes that hunt pedophiles today .
  246. Then came the sixties and the situation was reversed .
  247. During the sexual revolution , the child’s right to sexuality began to be discussed.
  248. Back then, some experts would bluntly say “If you want to have sex, it’s because you’re ready for sex” (remembering that this happened only fifty years ago).
  249. Guess who they called to put order back in that confusion?
  250. The pedophile, of course: the moral panic of pedophilia was resurrected both by the conservative right and by feminism to abort the sexual revolution!
  251. If you got twenty bucks for every naked kid pic that you sold, you would become poor: it does not sell.
  252. The first to oppose child pornography were Christians and moralists.
  253. Many of their statements were shocking and unfounded.
  254. It was said, at the time when the crusade was on the rise, that homicide was a crime worse than so-called “adult-child sex,” which could very well be mutually willing.
  255. But, if you say that pedophilia is worse than homicide, you are implying that all children and adolescents who are sexually active with adults should kill themselves , because they are better off dead than having sex with adults.
  256. Child pornography is, in fact, too rare to be an independent business.
  257. The Christian activist and moralist policemen who symbolized the war on child pornography in the last century were accused of falsifying evidence in an attempt of getting financial benefit.
  258. Despite this, the laws inspired by their activism were never repealed and even sex education books were censored.
  259. The accusations of satanic sexual abuse of the eighties would be hard to swallow today: if this occurrence is so frequent and occurs in public places where anyone can inspect, how have they not been discovered before?
  260. But the interesting part is that all the children who accused teachers or other adults of “satanic” sexual abuse were interviewed by the same staff of social service employees.
  261. When the tapes containing recordings of interviews were leaked, it became clear that it was the interviewers’ fault: they forced false confessions from the children.
  262. Despite this, accusations of satanic sexual abuse continued to proliferate in the 1980s until the early 1990s.
  263. In 1994, a police report concluded that none of the 12,000 reports of satanic sexual abuse could be proven and that no pornographic archive, photo or video had been produced as a result of these alleged acts.
  264. Even after that, more unlikely accusations came to the police.
  265. In 1995 in Wenatchee, Washinton, forty-three people were accused of having sex with sixty children 29,000 times and no evidence was found.
  266. Although many people have been cleared after these allegations have been proved as crazy stories, there are still people who have been convicted of “satanic sexual abuse” in the 1980s and 1990s and have never been released, despite the lack of evidence.
  267. This type of accusation was popular because, at the time, there was a very great fear of women entering the labor market, because entering the work force would prompt them to put their children in the care of others (almost all accusations of satanic ritual abuse involve schools or kindergartens).
  268. And again, the one who fueled this fear was the conservative right and feminism (it seems that feminism is too conservative to be considered a ” leftist ” idea ).
  269. There is a layer within feminism that is moralistic and does not care about equality.
  270. The fight against pornography is maintained today by feminism and suppressed by the constitutional right to freedom of expression.
  271. The conservative right wing also participates in this struggle, but they no longer fight for the cause of “decency”: today, the right wing is fighting for the cause of the “family” and the cause of the “child”.
  272. So much so that several right-wing censorship organizations have abandoned the cause of decency for the cause of family.
  273. They thought, “If we can not censor adult pornography, let’s censor child pornography.”
  274. With the emergence of the Internet, just as with the emergence of television, there was the feeling that the enemy was at home.
  275. Even on the Internet, the circulation of child pornography is minuscule.
  276. The author had access to some “child abuse images” that the police obtained and realized that only three, in a pack of fifty printed files, could be considered explicit.
  277. The rest was nudity or seminudity without sexual activity (like the pictures that your father used to take of you).
  278. But if these images appear on the Internet, where do they come from?
  279. There are police officers who scan and distribute seized child pornography online.
  280. Police can lure a citizen into committing a crime to confirm suspicions, but if the police had not led the individual to break the law, there would be no crime.
  281. They do this because they were employed thanks to the feeling that pedophilia is a very frequent and dangerous phenomenon, but, as it is in fact a very rare phenomenon, they need to tempt suspicious people to commit the crime.
  282. Otherwise, their work is not justifiable: if pedophilia is not what everyone thinks, there will be no need for so much police in this cause, which could cause relocations, reduced budget or layoffs.
  283. That is the reason for the criminalization of more and more images of children, even of drawings in which there are not even real children: the statistics must be made real.
  284. If you criminalize images where there are no real children, who are you protecting?
  285. You are protecting the interests of the right wing and anti-porn feminists, because if you are censoring an image where there is an adult who looks like a teenager, you are indirectly censoring adult porn (in the UK, there are situations in which a pornographic image showing two adults can be legally questioned if one of the adults does not appear to be eighteen).
  286. Do these efforts work?
  287. Between 1996 and 2000, an FBI task force, made to arrest people involved in child pornography, made 2,609 investigations, twenty percent of which resulted in prosecutions, seventeen percent resulted in arrest.
  288. Even criminalizing as much as possible, the incidence of these crimes is still low, making the investment in this task force (according to the author, $ 10,000,000) questionable.
  289. There are a lot of pedophiles trying to live by the law and they would manage it if the police did not deliberately try to tempt them and increase their urges just to get them (the fact that a lot of the people caught in this way are first time offenders makes things worse).
  290. Sexual violence against children was already a crime before the invention of laws against child pornography, before the invention of the age of consent, before surrounding sexuality with so many rules that hinder even the relationship between adults.
  291. The result is that adults are being taken to jail for absurd reasons and now we are also having a wave of censorship .
  292. Parents, for example, were reported for photographing their children in the bath and old film productions became illegal.
  293. Thus, it is not possible to know for sure whether or not your conduct towards children is legal: it’s a matter of point of view.
  294. Do these laws promote security for the population or do they turn against the population it was meant toprotect ?
  295. The resources consumed by abusive laws would be better employed in things that society really needs, such as education, health and real safety.
  296. In addition, if the law prevents a person’s reintegration into society (through a record of sexual offenders, for example), the government is encouraging the person to commit the crime again, because he has nothing else to lose and can not rebuild his life.
  297. Legislating is a political function that often has little to do with rehabilitation or security of the population.
  298. Excessive laws lead to an increase in the number of incarcerations, giving the impression that crime is becoming more frequent, which, in turn, prompts demand for more laws.
  299. Excessive laws give the feeling of false security while multiple incarcerations increase fear.
  300. With laws or without laws, we hate the world.
  301. Moral panic about pedophilia also harms children.
  302. Giving the child the fear of strangers (and giving strangers the fear of children) can cause the adult to refuse help to the child in need.
  303. To leave everything in the hands of the legislators makes the mother feel that she is free from the duty of teaching her child to defend herself, which makes the girl more vulnerable , since she is less liberated.
  304. Sexual contact between children is biologically normal but socially inappropriate .
  305. The child in some developed countries can be taken to therapy for things that we find harmless, such as playing doctor, looking under the sister’s skirt (at home), making sexual profanity or bathing with another child.
  306. The nine-year-old child can be labeled a “budding sex offender” by the therapist (só much for mental health).
  307. Child sexuality becomes the new global epidemic, described in terms of “sexualization,” “inappropriate behavior,” or “children who molest.”
  308. Even two-years-olds have been “treated” and prosecuted for normal sexual behavior with other children of the same age (touching the genitals of another student, showing their genitals to another child, touching their genitals in public, among other things you used to do).
  309. Sexual behavior among siblings is considered to be the most serious, although it is the most common.
  310. Violence is presumed , although sexual contact between two children is usually voluntary and pleasurable for both.
  311. So while serious behavior problems (such as aggressiveness and bad grades) are not always seen as worthy of correction, harmless sexual behavior, when manifested by the minor, is cause for immediate alarm.
  312. This is especially serious in places where the age of criminal responsibility is lower than the age of consent .
  313. The consequences of legal sexual repression can lead a boy to kill himself.
  314. Children are being tried and convicted of ” rape ” in developed countries.
  315. It does not have to be a boy to be convicted of rape in those countries; girls can also be convicted as rapists.
  316. If a girl is charged with unlawful sexual conduct, the authorities may insist with the girl until she confesses, even when she has not actually committed the act.
  317. Child sexual behavior is a majoritary phenomenon and we are trying to make it pathological.
  318. “Normal” is not an exact concept.
  319. The concept of normal varies from person to person.
  320. Because it is not a finished concept, the concept of normal can be manipulated by the political climate and the historical period.
  321. “Normal” and “normative” may have different meanings.
  322. It is better to speak of “majority” behavior and “minority” behavior because these are neutral terms.
  323. If you speak of “normal”, you will have to say, even implicitly, what is “abnormal”, which is a negatively charged term.
  324. The pathologization of child sexuality has roots in the conservative right (“sex must be done in a certain way”) and, you guessed it, in feminism (“there are abusers everywhere, the child can not attract them”).
  325. In developed countries, the child who asks another out (courtship) can be prosecuted for sexual harassment.
  326. That implies that adults think that the romantic behavior of children is also sexual and that, if it is sexual and if the subject is a child, it must be logically traumatic .
  327. Moral panic about child sexuality ruins families.
  328. Child protection associations also want profit, and, if they are supported by donations, they will need to give people reasons to donate.
  329. The pathologization of child sexuality has no scientific support , because child sexuality is a field of human behavior that nobody wants to study.
  330. If it is not known what is normal sexual behavior in the child, where are these professionals taking their definitions of abnormal from?
  331. Extending the definition of “abuse” or “rape” is an attempt to produce evidence that abuse and rape occur too often.
  332. Beware of what you call abuse.
  333. A lot of things that are not rape are now called rape.
  334. Therapy to treat a child’s normal sexuality is a business .
  335. Reminder: as long as there are no serious studies on child sexuality, none of these therapies is scientifically proven to be “therapeutic.”
  336. If there are not enough studies to say what normal childhood sexual behavior is, any definition of ” age- appropriate sexual behavior ” is arbitrary.
  337. Creating new diseases creates new therapies, which creates new businesses.
  338. The child who does something sexual with another child can not be called a “pedophile” without causing a scandal, so psychiatrists preferred to call the phenomenon “inappropriate sexual behavior”, which is the same thing put in other words .
  339. The father who does not see a problem with the son’s sexuality could be classified as “abuser”, for not repressing the sexuality of the son.
  340. In addition, we have the belief that the innocent child can only become sexual if he or she comes into contact with sexuality (the same belief used to be applied to women), then the sexual girl puts the adults around her under suspicion, because people assume that someone molested her.
  341. With this, manifestations of affection become suspicious .
  342. If the girl exhibits natural sexual behavior and her parents are the ones who love the girl the most, the social service employee may think that the parents are molesting her.
  343. If the parents deny it, they will be considered liars, but if they affirm, they will be considered criminals, so that there will be no way out, especially if family power has been suspended or terminated.
  344. This harms the minor, who is separated from the parents, despite such parents being innocent.
  345. The sexual child is sexual by nature, not by conditioning.
  346. There are no ” symptoms of abuse ” that can not be identified in children who were not abused.
  347. The world is not ready to admit that the child can engage in sexual behavior for pleasure.
  348. The pathologization of child sexuality occurs because such phenomenon leaves the parents uncomfortable, not being therefore an attitude that prioritizes the well-being of the minor.
  349. For some professionals, the father who kisses the lips of his son, hugs him often or does not care about domestic nudity is raising his son the wrong way and both deserve treatment.
  350. We presume that child sexual behavior is harmful and traumatic without asking the child whether he or she has been harmed or traumatized.
  351. This is because we believe that suppressing child sexuality is something that can be done in the best interest of the child.
  352. Again, child protection systems work with minimal research on child sexuality, calling into question the claim that they know what they are doing.
  353. A longitudinal study that followed children and adolescents from young age to adulthood found that three-quarters of the subjects had masturbated or had sexual contact with another person before they were six years old, but the same study did not find any negative symptoms in the adult life that could be attributed to these experiences.
  354. Sexual contact between children can be abhorrent in one society, tolerable in others and standard in others.
  355. According to the Patterns of Sexual Behavior study , which analyzes data from people of various cultures, child sexual behavior depends on the will of adults: in cultures where adults don’t mind it, children may even try to mount one another.
  356. So sexuality is inherent in the child, but it is interfered with by the expectations of adults.
  357. Children mimicking adult sexual behavior occurs in various places studied by anthropologists.
  358. Advanced societies are ashamed of their children’s sexuality.
  359. That is why children soon learn to hide their sexuality.
  360. If the problem is the association between sexuality and aggression, then what should be forbidden are the aggressive demonstrations of sexuality, not them all.
  361. There is no final definition of the term “consent“.
  362. The fact that someone is older does not automatically make him or her more powerful.
  363. Again, the fear of child sexuality is a fear that originates in the insecurity of the parents.
  364. Suppressing child sexuality can do more harm than giving it free course.
  365. Child sexuality can not be a reason to separate the boy from his family .
  366. If the first step in the treatment of sex offenders is to admit that you are a criminal, a boy who does not see how his conduct was something serious will find it difficult to progress with treatment, which will delay his reunion with his family.
  367. The social service guy may almost have to force the boy to see himself as a sex offender, just as he may have to force another boy to see himself as a victim.
  368. If a therapy can not start is a bad therapy.
  369. If you do not want a girl to commit sexual crimes in the future, do not reinforce the idea that she is a sex offender.
  370. When does a treatment stop being a treatment to become punishment?
  371. There are abusive therapies.
  372. There are ineffective therapies.
  373. Sexually repressive therapy is behavioralist and generally based on conservative ideals.
  374. Certain treatments imply force and abdication of rights of both the child and the parents ( sue them ).
  375. When someone proposes to treat their boy for his sexual behavior, it is not questioned whether what he did was wrong or not; it is assumed that it was and that the child should be corrected.
  376. There is no presumption of innocence in treatment for “children who abuse”: if the boy says that he did nothing wrong, it is assumed that he is lying.
  377. For such a boy, even affectionate contact is denied because it is assumed that he knows no limits.
  378. The friends removed from the boy’s social circle, which ceases to exist.
  379. If the same treatment was given to adults, there would be prosecutions against those clinics, lawsuits even based on the law against torture (or “strange and cruel punishment” in American codes).
  380. It is not possible to erase your sexuality.
  381. Treatment for “sexually challenged” children is very much like ” gay cure” treatments except that gay cure tries to make you feel attracted to people of the opposite sex, while the “cure for child sexuality” tries make the child feel attracted to nothing at all.
  382. “Heroic intervention” in child sexuality is reminiscent of “heroic intervention” in female sexuality.
  383. Once the narrative of abuse is established, it is considered incontestable.
  384. The child who is separated from the parents always suffers.
  385. The intervention may hurt more than the behavior that originated it.
  386. This is especially serious when the intervention is done by incompetent people.
  387. Children who are sent to sexual therapy may see treatment as cruel, but not necessarily their acts.
  388. The moralists left the churches to enter the clinics; they ceased to be pastors and became doctors.
  389. The “immoral” has become “sick.”
  390. The treatment that child sexuality receives today is the treatment that masturbation received two hundred years ago.
  391. In the day that homosexuality was pulled out from the DSM, gender dysphoria took its place in the manual.
  392. If you want to know if a girl has been harmed by something, why do not you ask her?
  393. For as long as there’s no scientific information on what normal childhood sexual behavior is, interventions on child sexuality will be guided by social values .
  394. The highest social value is kindness, not normality, nor morality.
  395. When parents put obstacles in the way of a girl’s romance, her friends can help her overcome those obstacles.
  396. Some sex offenders are only considered dangerous because the law says sex is dangerous.
  397. If the girl runs away from home, the media does not care so much … unless she has ran away with an adult.
  398. When the boy develops critical sense, he begins to subvert adult recommendations.
  399. The essence of the age of consent is the presumption of incompetence, not violence, not vulnerability.
  400. A voluntary relationship with or between minors is resisted by the state, not by the alleged victim (hence the term “statutory rape”, because it wasn’t the minor who resisted, but the state who resisted for the minor).
  401. The age of consent was originally conceived to guard the virginity of the girl, specifically the girl , because the virginity of the girl was the property of the father.
  402. Until 1981, in the United States, sex with a minor would not be a crime if the minor was a boy.
  403. Also until that period, it was admitted that there were girls who wanted sex, but they had to be forbidden to have it, so that they would not become pregnant.
  404. The prohibition of a relationship with an underage boy was facilitated by the prejudice that “the boy who has sex with a man should be treated as a girl”.
  405. It is sexism to say that only men desire sex.
  406. It seems that the law wants everything to blame men for everything (I should remind you that this book was written by a feminist).
  407. “You think you wanted to have sex with that guy, but when you grow up , you’ll see that, in reality, that’s not what you wanted.”
  408. In order for a victim to exist, there must be a person who accuses the alleged criminal.
  409. The victim who says that the act was consensual ridicules the cause of the process: how do we deal with ” consensual rape “?
  410. News about relationships between adults and minors quickly degenerate into police chronicles, with good guys and bad guys, turning from news to novels.
  411. It is assumed that there was manipulation , even if it did not occur, so that the boy would have lost his freedom “without noticing it” (which makes his actions not voluntary).
  412. If you are dating a teenager and you have already had a wife, she may use the incident as an occasion to make false accusations against you: who cares about the human rights of a pedophile ?
  413. When you are labeled a pedophile, any dubious claim is held to be true.
  414. They will assume that you are lying.
  415. They will draw absurd conclusions from your words.
  416. The “victim” will be considered an idiot, unable to make their own choices.
  417. They would say: “adolescents are supposed to be incapable of understanding love because they are not mature enough to recognize it” (“adolescent”, where I come from, is anyone from ages 12 to 17).
  418. It is assumed that “all victims are equal” and the adolescent’s personality traits are erased.
  419. To prevent this image (boy victim) from being harmed, the news suppress the testimony of the boy: if the testimony puts his victim status in doubt, it will not be shown on television.
  420. The intellectual level of an adolescent is not that of the child and may not match with stereotypes.
  421. To say that “children can not consent” is to say “the child is not informed enough to give valid consent to erotic relationships” and this is the case “because this is what the law says.”
  422. Two-thirds of these relationships are reported by the parents, not by the boy himself.
  423. If sexual contact has occurred, the crime has occurred, even if the act was harmless and mutually agreed with.
  424. The age of consent law can be used by parents to place any boyfriends of their children in jail.
  425. Parents have a bad habit of confusing education and prohibition.
  426. This is because it is easier to prohibit than to educate.
  427. Fortunately, not all parents are like that.
  428. Some minors have relationships with adults because they do not feel loved at home.
  429. The adult in relationship with a minor may be a better person than the parents of said minor.
  430. Divorced parents may use their son’s relationship to blame the ex-spouse or ex-wife for “facilitating” the illegal relationship, unbalancing custody battles.
  431. If family is a burden, it is no surprise that the child or teenager would seek love elsewhere.
  432. Think about the stuff you are putting your child through.
  433. The police behaves rationally within legal insanity .
  434. If the girl loves the guy who made her pregnant, the law will make sure that there will be no father to help the girl to raise her child.
  435. The culprit is always a man.
  436. Does anyone have proof that this law prevents teenagers or children from practicing libidinous acts among themselves?
  437. Does anyone have proof that this law reduces the rates of adolescent pregnancy (if it does reduce, Japan, territory in which the lowest age of consent is thirteen, should not have the lowest teenage pregnancy rate in the world)?
  438. Fortunately, only one in five lawyers think that putting a man in jail is an appropriate response to the problem of teenage pregnancy.
  439. In some places, social service may suggest the possibility of marriage to avoid a violent rupture of the illegal relationship (in some states of the United States, that is a possibility ).
  440. The age of consent can act as an anti-fornication law.
  441. Teens know that the best way to reduce teen pregnancy rates is giving teens high quality sex education and easy availability of contraceptives.
  442. The age-of-consent law originates from the desire to control female sexuality .
  443. The sexual girl is seen as a “bitch”.
  444. The sexual girl can be prosecuted.
  445. In the 1960s, three-quarters of the girls in American jail were there for sexual crimes, many of them without a victim.
  446. The age of consent more often affects the little ones than it affects adults.
  447. Among the minors affected by such laws are homosexual girls and boys.
  448. Despite their age, research reveals that most girls lose their virginity with someone older than them.
  449. Among those older men, something between a tenth and a quarter can be considered criminals.
  450. The age of consent does not consider things like love , guidance , financial autonomy, respect, status , sexual self-determination , or any of those reasons that lead minors to seek relationships with adults in the first place.
  451. What is the effect of such law over the adult being arrested?
  452. Does the sentence itself have rehabilitative potential (the sentence itself , not counting the treatment)?
  453. For some judges, having sex with a minor is worse than murdering the minor.
  454. Other judges, however, expect the boy’s evaluation of the liasion to change as he grows up, hoping that he will some day acknowledge that he was harmed physically, mentally, and that he will, eventually, realize that he is a victim .
  455. Parents’ reaction to the event may turn a positive experience into a source of negative feelings, as well as worsen negative feelings from a negative experience.
  456. If the boy has not suffered any bad consenquences from the relationship, he will grow asymptomatic, so the worst thing you could do would be to convince him that he is a victim.
  457. Respect the child’s judgment.
  458. In a study by Kilpatrick in 1992, fifty-five percent of five hundred and one women had some sexual contact with someone else before the age of fourteen, increasing to eighty-three percent between the ages of fifteen and seventeen.
  459. If sexual contact was pleasurable, the minor’s response will be the same regardless of age.
  460. Still according to the same study, seventeen percent say that sexual contact was abusive and twenty-eight percent say that contact was harmful, but most did not respond that way.
  461. Teens want older people because adults are supposed to have more experience and expertise, so that the quality of the contact would be potentially better than the quality of contact with peers.
  462. Violating the age of consent law may very well be a crime of passion.
  463. People are having sex earlier, but the age of consent is rising.
  464. In the United States, you can be tried and convicted as an adult at age twelve, but you can only start to have sex at sixteen and only in some states.
  465. Denying consent to all people who are below a certain age denies the degree of individual growth.
  466. Changing the world requires accepting the potential of the next generation rather than curbing said potential.
  467. There is modern sex education (for abstinence), right-wing sex education (for chastity), but there is no left-wing sex education (for freedom).
  468. It’s ridiculous that you would want to fight teenage pregnancy by destroying sex education programs that teach contraception!
  469. There is no organization that specifically advocates for sex education in schools, so that each apologist works alone, which makes it difficult to protect sex education in schools.
  470. Attacks on sex education come from a small number of people, so censorship of this matter only occurs because the number of people advocating sex education is even smaller.
  471. Contrary to popular belief, several parents like the idea of their children receiving sex education, but the fear of sexually transmitted diseases also leads them to want sexual education to cover the subject of abstinence .
  472. For most parents, the topic that should be prioritized in sex education classes is prevention against sexually transmitted diseases, especially AIDS.
  473. The consensus that adolescents should remain abstinent is an adult consensus, which does not exist among adolescents.
  474. A lot of adults lost their virginity in their teens.
  475. Does abstinence education work?
  476. If abstinence is a way of dealing with sexuality, suicide should also be, right?
  477. The inclusion of abstinence in the sex education curriculum is an ideological decision, not a practical one.
  478. If sex education is committed to teaching children and adolescents what sexual behavior adults think they should adopt, it will of course be an education for sexual repression : we admit that children and adolescents have sexual experiences with each other, but we like it more if they didn’t have such experiences.
  479. Disapproving child sexuality doesn’t erase it.
  480. Is the teen pregnancy rate as big as you think?
  481. The teenage pregnancy rate has already been much higher.
  482. If you want to end teen pregnancy, give contraceptives to teens.
  483. Some sex education curricula in developed countries do not go beyond the “just say no” mantra, as if sex were a drug.
  484. That’s because these curriculum writers were banked with money that was taken, legally, from family planning programs.
  485. It is easier to deal with abortion, adolescent pregnancy, and unsupported teenage mothers as separate problems than trying to prevent teenagers from dating before marriage.
  486. Conservative reasoning: contraception makes sex less risky, which causes teenagers to have sex and therefore get pregnant.
  487. The confidentiality promoted by family planning clinics made conservatives feel that the state was harming the family.
  488. The problem is that “family” and “parents” are used both in the same sense and sometimes in different senses.
  489. Saying that sexuality resolves itself “in family” translates to “sexuality stays between dad and mom”.
  490. Sexual education that teaches contraception works and reduces rates of teen pregnancy and STD, but teaching abstinence does not work to reduce any of that.
  491. Teens may lose their virginity in any place of the world, but places with the best sex education have the lowest adolescent pregnancy rates.
  492. In fact, according to a study that came out in 1997, boys who had sex education focused solely on abstinence ended up having more sex than those who did not receive this type of sex education.
  493. What’s more, there is the aggravating fact that these boys were having more sex without having any information on safe sex.
  494. So what’s the point of Americans giving state funds to stuff that does not work (by the time the book was released, only abstinence-focused sex education programs received US federal funds)?
  495. So not talking to our kids about safe sex is a potentially lethal decision.
  496. The age of consent may be an attempt to reimpose sex as an element that is exclusive of marriage.
  497. When an adult is sexually active, he is healthy; but the sexually active child or adolescent is considered sick.
  498. Why did the left stop writing sex education curricula?
  499. Because the right does not allow the left to do so.
  500. A conservative is a liberal with a teenage daughter.
  501. “If sex is bad, why do my parents have sex?”
  502. You are unlikely to die from being sexually active, and if you have the means to have safe sex, you are also unlikely to become pregnant or become ill.
  503. There are parents who want their children to remain dependent, but that means depriving them of growth.
  504. This is the dillema of a mother who does not want her child to leave her.
  505. It is a pain for the mother to know that she is no longer the most important woman in her child’s life.
  506. Neglecting child sexual development is a form of abandonment: we put our children in danger of learning about sex by trial and error.
  507. It is not possible to mature without experience, because to mature is to acquire experience.
  508. Silencing teachers and teaching through media is part of the disinformation process .
  509. How many families would do a good job giving sex education to their children?
  510. Other countries have young people as sexually active as ours, but lower teen pregnancy rates.
  511. In the Netherlands, adolescent pregnancy has been virtually eradicated: contraceptives are free, there are condom vending machines and sex education is taught from childhood onwards (and without abstinence as a curricular component).
  512. If you teach that sex is dangerous even when done safely , your teen may think, “Oh, if condoms do not work, why am I going to use them?”
  513. Attitude and behavior are different things.
  514. If you teach abstinence, but do not teach safe sex, what will the boy do when facing temptation?
  515. The number of girls who say they will remain abstinent until adulthood is higher than the number of girls who can keep that vow.
  516. The girl who has plans to remain abstinent, when subjected to overwhelming temptation, will not have contraceptives and certainly no condoms with her.
  517. Thus, people who have had abstinence-oriented sex education are less likely to protect themselves in their first time.
  518. If you know that there is unsafe sex and safe sex, which route do you prefer to go?
  519. The rate of sexual activity fell among boys, but not among girls .
  520. On the other hand, the rate of unsafe sex fell among girls.
  521. Places with conservative sexual attitudes have more teenage pregnancy and more sexually transmitted diseases.
  522. Elsewhere, where parents see no problem in their children having sex, kids know they should not have unprotected sex (“if it’s not safe, I will not do it”).
  523. People against sex education are a minority.
  524. The victory of the conservative right is a victory over the youth.
  525. If you get pregnant because you did not know anything about safe sex, where to get a condom or contraceptive, did not know how to use contraceptive methods, it’s not your fault, not your boyfriend’s fault, but the government’s fault, who repressed your classes of sex education, if you had any (you know you can sue the state because of it).
  526. The mistake of the left was to let the right to gain territory.
  527. The lack of sex education of this generation will be frowned upon by the next generation.
  528. The function of the “child sexuality police” is to return to sex its exclusively procreative character.
  529. One in five women seeking abortion clinics (legal or otherwise) are religious, many of them protestant.
  530. Laws that force authorities to notify parents that their child is doing this or that do not increase the level of family communication.
  531. A person may seek illegal abortion because it’s anonymous: legal abortion clinics notify the minor’s parents when they attempt to abort licitly.
  532. Some laws are not made to protect the minor, but to protect the custody that the parents have over that minor.
  533. In these cases, the life of the child may be less valueable than family integrity.
  534. Old and dysfunctional solutions are seen as innovations today.
  535. If the teenager’s sexuality has to be concealed from the parents, the pregnant girl feels that she will have to dispose of the baby in some way, either by throwing it away after being born or by aborting it.
  536. Modern sex education does not teach about pleasure.
  537. Modern sex education does not teach about desire.
  538. Without discussing sexual pleasure or female desire, the only anthropological aspect left to discuss is victimization and sexual violence.
  539. You get the feeling that sex is always a bad experience for the girl.
  540. If you are going to make a research synthesis about the inclusion of pleasure in sexual education, your references section will be blank.
  541. Teens feel desire and such reality is ignored by the school curriculum.
  542. Since pleasure and therefore desire are absent from the academic discussion about child sexuality, adults eventually conclude that the sexually active child is active because of peer pressure.
  543. In the past, sexual repression was a girls-only thing, but now boys also suffer sexual repression.
  544. If sex education only teaches risk, but not pleasure, it focuses on the most risky act: the carnal conjunction, or penetration.
  545. Matters such as mutual masturbation or pornography are not in the curriculum because they are not risky and are enjoyable, two characteristics that are not interesting to those who write these curricula ( let’s not get started on fetishes , then …).
  546. The idea is not to give ideas to the little ones.
  547. A vibrator can give more pleasure than a man.
  548. If sex education only deals with penetration, the idea that children and adolescents have is that only penetration is a sexual act, that is, if they want to have sex, it has to be penetrative.
  549. Therefore, not talking about alternatives to penetration increases the chance of penetrative sex (“if I have desire, there is only this way to satisfy it”).
  550. Moreover, such a practice creates confusion (“if sex is phallic penetration to a vagina, then oral and anal are not sex”).
  551. This gives rise to strange conclusions, such as “sex is dangerous, sex is always vaginal, so anal is not dangerous, because anal is not sex”.
  552. There are several forms of sexual expression, vaginal penetration is only one of them.
  553. Penetration is dangerous, but there are innocuous forms of sexual expression.
  554. If sex education teaches nothing about safe sex or non-penetrative forms of sexual expression, it is contributing to the spread of AIDS and other STDs in the teenage population.
  555. In the United States, there are a number of teenagers who believe that anal sex carries no risk.
  556. But the truth is that anal is the most dangerous kind of sex.
  557. So if sex education is not real education, it can be lethal, perhaps as lethal as not giving sex education at all.
  558. If you can not stop teens from having sex, at least try to stop them from falling ill because of it.
  559. Fear of AIDS is reducing the incidence of penetrative sexual practices among adolescents and pre-adolescents.
  560. Children are dating.
  561. A study of 14-year-old boys reveals that many have kissed a girl and that a smaller percentage had already touched the genitals of someone of the opposite sex.
  562. In a study conducted in California, it was discovered that about one-third of high school students had already masturbated someone or participated in oral sex.
  563. For this generation of adolescents, oral sex doesn’t mean commitment.
  564. There are few studies on the quality of these relationships ( obviously ).
  565. Retrospective studies on child sexuality (asking the adult about their childhood or juvenile sexual experiences) are already difficult to carry, but studies on child sexuality done with minors as subjects may even be considered illegal .
  566. For example, in the United States, questionnaires given to minors must not make any reference to oral sex.
  567. For some congressmen in developed countries, carrying such research would already be a form of child sexual abuse.
  568. What is the difference between the pleasure of the child and the pleasure of the adult?
  569. Pleasure requires practice.
  570. If you do not practice, your performance will be very bad.
  571. Without sex education, there is no easy way to differentiate between coercion and consent.
  572. The teen relationships of this generation are worse than the teen relationships of the past generation.
  573. Your children are subject to the same sexual desires as you were in your childhood or adolescence, but they may be less informed (not talking about technical information here) than you were.
  574. It is common for the first sex to be protected, but the number of adolescents who use condoms in subsequent sex is lower than the number of adolescents who continue to use condoms even after the first time.
  575. Incidentally, sex among teenagers is fast, lightning-fast, not as good as it could be if they knew other techniques or had foreplay.
  576. This causes many teenagers to be disappointed with the sex they have (before anyone gets “irritated”, teenage sex is not illegal in Brazil provided that both parties are at least fourteen-years-old, our age of consent).
  577. If it is assumed that the child or adolescent will always refuse sexual advances, then no one teaches the kid to say no, which makes them passive and vulnerable .
  578. Girls usually have sex without really wanting it, because they do not know how to say “no” to a boy they like without hurting the feelings of the little pervert.
  579. Watch out for studies that do not define key terms.
  580. For some minors, “abuse” (which just means illegal sex) can be a desired experience (implies that some minors consider some “abuses” as non-negative experiences).
  581. Desiring “abuse” causes feelings of shame, as such “abuse” is illegal.
  582. They say “child sexuality is normal,” but they also say “libidinous acts before the age of fourteen is statutory rape”, implying that desire is normal, but satiating the desire is a crime.
  583. Erotic pleasure is a gift that can be used positively by people of any age.
  584. The desire for sexual information is also an intellectual desire, not just a physical one.
  585. Desire for pleasure and desire for information about that pleasure are complementary forces.
  586. In times of AIDS, providing information is crucial.
  587. If the task of teaching about sex is a duty of parents, then few children will be informed: many parents do not want to discuss it.
  588. This is because it is awkward to talk about sex to your children.
  589. In addition, the fact that many parents disapprove of the son’s sexual activity makes the son unwilling to talk about sex with his parents in order not to raise suspicion.
  590. The minor can avoid talking about his sexual activity because he feels that this is not anyone’s business.
  591. Under these conditions, he will prefer to learn about sex in the world, not at home.
  592. Parents are as ashamed to discuss sex with their children as their children are ashamed to discuss their sex life with their parents.
  593. Sex education must be given by another person, unless parents drop their shame.
  594. Strangely, there are not many sex education books or magazines for boys, because editors work under the presumption that boys do not like to read.
  595. Fortunately, we have the Internet.
  596. There is uncensored sexual information on the Internet.
  597. Some sex education sites are hosted in universities and readers send anonymous questions for experts to answer.
  598. Good sex requires information.
  599. Good sexual information is always “graphic”: you can not discuss sex without being explicit.
  600. Of the 5,000 teenagers who commit suicide each year, 30% are homosexual or “questioning.”
  601. In terms of sex, the Internet is safer than the real world.
  602. The author briefly mentions cybersex, better known today as erotic role-play , as something more secure than physical sexual experience.
  603. Anonymity in cybersex makes the experience more fluid.
  604. Anonymity protects adolescents who engage in such practices.
  605. There are things you only have the courage to say online.
  606. Children and adolescents who feel that they are part of sexual minorities can find online communities of people facing the same feelings of rejection.
  607. No one has been able to prove that pornography harms children or, especially, teenagers.
  608. Pornography can confirm someone’s sexual orientation.
  609. However, for obvious reasons, pornography does not replace sex education.
  610. On the Internet you can also learn what to do if your partner decides to beat you up.
  611. If you do not have sexual information, you will believe in nonsense (such as “sex with a virgin can cure AIDS”).
  612. Ugly people can also be attractive.
  613. Strangely, at least in the late 1990s, child sexuality was realistically shown on television, but to this day the adult sexuality shown in films and series does not resemble the everyday sexuality of real adults.
  614. A good amount of children and adolescents of the last century learned to kiss thanks to the movies.
  615. Sexual education could be addressed by all disciplines of the school curriculum.
  616. The author suggests that sex education, if sex is thought, action and feeling, should be part of the languages ​​and codes curriculum (along with native language, foreign language, physical education, arts and literature).
  617. In practice, it is not easy to reconcile equality and sex.
  618. Why not learn about spicy novels in literature classes?
  619. An unequal relationship can be romantic.
  620. Erotic language can be strong or subtle.
  621. There is romance in children’s literature.
  622. There is romance in other children’s media.
  623. If imagination provides good sex, making sex less attractive requires censorship over the arts .
  624. Artists are a considerable percentage of prison population in any repressive regime.
  625. There are people who want Romeo and Juliet to be rated R.
  626. There is no minimum age for love.
  627. The submissive girl is statistically raped more often.
  628. The girl who has more attitude enters in desired relationships more often.
  629. “Sex addiction” and “frigidity” represent excess and lack, respectively, but what is the point of reference for characterizing excess or lack of desire?
  630. Medical diagnoses rarely consider cultural context: what is disease here and now may not have been disease before or not be disease elsewhere.
  631. Sexual repression causes social ills.
  632. Girls are able to sense and recognize the biological signs of sexual desire.
  633. But this ability disappears if it is not trained and the girl becomes confused about what she is feeling: she is or is not desiring, she is or is not feeling pleasure?
  634. Repressing the girl’s sexuality will repress the woman’s independence.
  635. Masturbation is a great way to study your own desire.
  636. Masturbation shows that sexual pleasure is not a property of the relationship or the person with whom you relate, but a property of the body itself.
  637. Cultivating the habit of masturbation makes it easier to leave a sexually hot (but abusive or harmful) relationship (because some hot women also want to kill you).
  638. Because we are taught that children are innocent, the child or adolescent who feels desire does not know how to deal with it and hides it.
  639. If you say that normal girls (or normal children) do not have these feelings, the child who has them will think they are sick or that they are a rare individual.
  640. The girl who jumps from one relationship to another may not feel like an object, but an active subject.
  641. For some , female sexuality and independence are not reconcilable.
  642. To act sexually (voluntarily) is to admit that if you are a sexual subject, it is the desire to use a feature that is inherent to you.
  643. The girl who uses makeup is not necessarily objectifying herself, but trying to act “like an adult” (if the mother uses makeup, why can not she?).
  644. Sexuality does not make your body less valuable.
  645. If the sex was not satisfactory, this is not an automatic sign that there is something wrong with you in particular (it could be your partner).
  646. That’s because part of the fun of sex is to do it with someone you love, rather than casually.
  647. But even in the presence of affection, pleasure may be absent.
  648. This can occur because of lack of practice or lack of technique: the man sometimes does not know what gives him pleasure.
  649. It’s hard for some (including myself) to imagine how sex can be pleasurable.
  650. Women and girls masturbate, but they are more ashamed of that than boys are.
  651. If you are not able to masturbate until you have an orgasm, you probably will not be able to have an orgasm during intercourse.
  652. Despite this, it is easier to suffer because of love than necause of sex.
  653. The worst part is that sexual activity can hurt romantic relationships.
  654. But this is not a problem of sex, but of culture: the sexually active girl is seen as a bitch.
  655. You can learn about sex by masturbating or through someone more experienced than you are.
  656. Do not expect a perfect romance when you fall in love; always be ready for a disappointment .
  657. Love and lust are not the same and the presence of love does not guarantee a good sexual relationship (although it helps).
  658. Learn to separate love and lust, so you do not end up thinking that you are loving someone just because that person makes you aroused.
  659. This problem (inability to separate love and lust) can cause unhappiness if it persists into adulthood.
  660. For example, there are many adults who do not know when they have desire and when they do not have, when they are in love and when they are not.
  661. It is a shame for the father to be less sexually informed than his son.
  662. And this is worrisome because the father who feels that his son is about to make the same mistakes he made does not have the authority or the education to help said son.
  663. Understanding one’s own sexuality takes time.
  664. The girl whispers her wish, but the boy says it aloud.
  665. Male sexual enthusiasm is not a negative thing.
  666. A group of seven-year-old boys know a few words to refer to erections.
  667. This is because the boy is expected to know about sex and to be good at sex in adulthood, so he does not get as much repression as the girl.
  668. The girl learns that what she wants is love and her education about sexual desire is deeply censored.
  669. The opposite is true for boys: although their sex education is censored (but tempered by sexual permissiveness), the emphasis on desire is greater than the emphasis on romance.
  670. This makes complete sex education (love + lust) inaccessible to both.
  671. This also causes prejudice: girls think that the boy who approaches them only wants sex, as if men were incapable of feelings of love .
  672. The boy must not internalize those prejudices.
  673. If the boy comes to think that having sex is just part of his gender role, he might start to have sex just because he has to keep up with said role, without really getting involved with the act or the person.
  674. Girls are not sexually dormant, and boys are not sex machines, so it’s not the girl’s fault for resisting and neither of the boy’s faults for desiring.
  675. We can only blame the ingrained prejudice related to girls and boys.
  676. We should celebrate the mutually desired relationship.
  677. The girl can be subject and object in sex, but also the boy is not always subject; there are boys who objectify themselves in order to get laid.
  678. That’s because the pressure to have sex leads some boys to take extreme measures to get those contacts.
  679. This is made worse when the boy is in love, but has already been rejected by someone else before: not only he is subject to pressure, but might fear failing again.
  680. Equality doesn’t imply desexualization.
  681. The boy’s sexual self-confidence is not something to be ashamed of (hard to believe this book was written by a feminist).
  682. It can not be said that “all boys” want to have sex (some do not want to) or that “all girls” resist sex (some want a lot of it).
  683. Cultivating “childish innocence” is not the same as respecting the child or adolescent.
  684. In fact, cultivating innocence as an ideal divides children and adolescents between “pure” (good) and “corrupted” (bad) when sexuality is actually a natural force.
  685. If the girl does not listen to you, do not waste your time trying to date her; it’s pointless to waste your time with a person does not have time for you, specially when there’s só many women in the world.
  686. Girls also molest boys, girls are not victims 100% of the time.
  687. Contrary to popular belief, men understand that “no” is “no” (just remember that of all men in the world, only a minority rapes).
  688. The same is true for women when they are refused by men.
  689. But if ” no ” is everything you hear, something is wrong somewhere.
  690. Sexual jargon, obscene words, none of this needs to be used in derogatory ways.
  691. Girls should use sexual terms in everyday speech, just like boys.
  692. The usage of sexual jargon by boys can also have a positive meaning (calling someone “hot” is effectively a praise).
  693. It’s strange that a girl would try to hurt a boy by calling him a sissy, because she is indirectly saying that being feminine is a bad thing (while she is, herself, a girl).
  694. A teacher who teaches his class not to swear is a hypocrite, unless he never swears himself.
  695. For many women, being called a “slut” is a compliment, if the context indicates that “slut” is a person without sexual shame, a person who is not a prude and who is proud of it.
  696. Thus, purifying the boy’s speech is not the solution to the problem, but stimulating sexual speech in positive contexts, both in the boy and the girl.
  697. In addition, sexual terms can be used in a neutral way, without being value-laden.
  698. Sex makes you vulnerable, but that’s not always bad, otherwise no one would have sex.
  699. To have a relationship, you need to take risks and those who do not risk do not bite.
  700. Opening up to risk is something that begins with desire.
  701. Disappointment is the greatest of risks.
  702. Some boys may even think they’ll be virgins forever.
  703. Select the opportunities to pursue.
  704. Every relationship is a bet.
  705. The “macho” man is a stereotype of socio-political origin.
  706. Boys who want to be different are encouraged to conform.
  707. The school environment itself and the culture try to force the boy to act that way.
  708. Adopting an “I don’t care” attitude can be a sign of fear of being criticized or humiliated.
  709. The “distant” friendship between boys is motivated by homophobia: “hugging your friends is gay.”
  710. Ironically, having no practice in acceptable displays of affection harms heterosexual relationships.
  711. By creating an atmosphere of “do not talk about sex”, you end up creating, by accident, an atmosphere that censors other topics besides sex (such as excretion).
  712. As with all mammals , being touched, hugged, and kissed is healthy for us, humans.
  713. Mammals become sick or even die if they are deprived of physical affection.
  714. Very young mammals prefer the affection provided by their parents, even when they have to choose between such affection and food.
  715. In the case of the human being, deprivation of physical affection impairs the development of social skills.
  716. You can not care for a human being as if you were caring for a plant: if you do not give your boy affection, he will get sick, even if he has food, home, washed clothes, water, a room and Internet connection.
  717. If you deprive a baby boy of physical affection, he might die.
  718. Lack of physical affection used to be considered a cause of anorexia and ecsema.
  719. Physical affection promotes social harmony.
  720. Indigenous societies without taboos in regards to physical affection have lower rates of robbery , lower murder rates , less need for punishment of children, lower incidence of mutilation and lower incidence of torture .
  721. The opposite occurs in societies in which physical affection is discouraged.
  722. Thus deprivation of physical affection in childhood contributes to the development of criminal or violent tendencies .
  723. The correlation between lack of physical affection and violent tendency is not social, but biological.
  724. This is evidenced in violent developed countries such as the United States .
  725. If you discourage physical affection and encourage things like “my personal space,” you create people who are self-protective , territorial, who see violation in all forms of contact.
  726. Sexual contact between cubs (or with cubs) occurs all the time in other species.
  727. Child sexuality is punished by humans.
  728. This is not caused by the nature of child sexuality or the child’s body or of this or that erogenous organ or zone, but by the socially attributed meaning of these things: child sexuality, by default, is neutral, neither good nor bad, with it’s value being attributed by us.
  729. What is the meaning of child sexuality for the child or adolescent?
  730. The problem with studies about child sexuality is the partiality of the study: playing “doctor” or sharing nudes are practices that can be objectively pleasurable, but these acts can be subjectively evaluated as “play” or ” libidinous act ” depending on who evaluates .
  731. Kissing on the cheek or on the lips , bathing together, being naked at home in the presence of family members, sharing the bed, are these things sexual or not?
  732. Banning such practices reveals fear of “precocious” sexualization: what if the kid becomes excited?
  733. Even those who do not believe this “precocious sexualization thesis” can not ignore that the thesis of early sexualization is influential: the father can’t be too close to his son, or people will think he is molesting the tyke, even if he doesn’t regard his closeness as sexual in nature.
  734. This also leads to “false pedophile syndrome”: adults who like to cuddle and stay close to children may fear that approaching them will give rise to forbidden feelings (“if I get too fond of children, I might end up aroused by them”, they think).
  735. Fear of being aroused by one’s own children leads parents to police their own expressions of affection.
  736. What is worse is that a father who is really attracted to the child may be arrested or lose custody of the child when seeking help, since he can not receive help if he does not confess the problem.
  737. Teachers also no longer touch students.
  738. The contact need not be sexual, just needs to look sexual.
  739. Suddenly, all children are also molesters .
  740. If on the one hand adults flee from children, on the other hand children are trained to distrust adults.
  741. In addition to the effects of physical contact deprivation, teaching a girl that virtually any adult can touch her in the wrong way and that she must be attentive to those wrong touches raises the girl’s anxiety levels: she sees pedophiles all over the place, so she needs to evaluate all adults.
  742. The author tells the story of a kindergarten girl who spent weeks without talking to the new teacher, because “one should not talk to strangers”.
  743. Eventually, the boy becomes suspicious of his own parents.
  744. Thus, the repression of physical affection, of the touch “that seems sexual”, harms adults and children.
  745. Embrace and kiss your children, but teach them that they should just hug and kiss others if they want to be hugged or kissed.
  746. As long as children are not hurting or offending each other, let them play as they please.
  747. Sex education should be available, but it should not be forced upon the kid.
  748. “Appropriate” in the phrase “age-appropriate behavior” can easily be replaced by “lawful”.
  749. “Age-appropriate behavior” does not take into account the personal maturity of each child or adolescent, assuming that all children of a certain age act in the same way, unless they are abnormal.
  750. There was a time when masturbation was called selfabuse .
  751. There are adults who envy children because kids can masturbate at will without fear of being humiliated for it (this is because many masturbating adults feel they are less capable than adults who are exclusively satisfied by sex).
  752. No one blames the child for masturbating, but the adult who confesses to masturbating is seen as antisocial.
  753. Beware of ” experts ” who say that masturbation is wrong .
  754. Generally, parents accept that their children masturbate, but few want their children to see it as positive.
  755. One surgeon lost her job in 1994 for saying publicly that masturbation could be a topic of discussion in the classroom (they said she was destroying the moral fiber of America).
  756. That was censorship.
  757. Our adults are expected to be sexually active, but how can we expect them to be if we repress their sexuality in childhood and adolescence and then deprive them of information?
  758. Some people think that masturbation is a minority phenomenon.
  759. A lot of games that today’s adults played when they are kids can not be repeated by kids of nowadays.
  760. Learning about your body is part of selfknowledge .
  761. There is less physical conflict in daycares that stimulate hugging and do not mind physical demonstrations of affection.
  762. As long as the kids are enjoying themselves and are not putting themselves at risk, no joke or game is bad.
  763. When a girl looks at or touches another kid’s genitals, it is unlikely that she is thinking about sexual stuff.
  764. Antitouch policies are selectively applied to men only.
  765. There is a rush to civilize the child and that haste manifests itself in school.
  766. In some ways, school is like the army: there are similar rules between school regiment and military service.
  767. Sex education is shaped by the fear of child sexuality.
  768. As these classes are largely theoretical, almost never practical, the application of knowledge obtained in sex education is difficult, when this knowledge is demanded in practical situations.
  769. That’s why it’s hard to give sex education to a four-year-old boy who needs to see, hear, and feel to understand.
  770. If the girl makes connections between what she learns and what she already knows, it is very strange that masturbation is not even mentioned in sex education programs for young children, since they likely touch themselves.
  771. The two things one learns in sex education: biology and sexual abuse.
  772. If you give sexual meaning to touches that seem sexual but are not, the child and the teenager grow up thinking that you can only touch the person you want to have sex with.
  773. That’s why many adults always see a sexual meaning in every hug.
  774. Children negotiate consent.
  775. If, on the one hand, the child does not give his acts the same meanings that we adults give, it is true that they do what they do for pleasure.
  776. Give the children something interesting for them to keep in their hands and soon you won’t need to supervise them too much.
  777. The child must have privacy.
  778. If all is going well, do not interfere.
  779. If your sexuality is nobody’s business, why would your child’s sexuality be anyone’s business?
  780. Sexual satisfaction is easier to obtain if the subject has information for it.
  781. Sexual ignorance impairs sexual performance.
  782. Not all libidinous acts include carnal conjunctions.
  783. If it is possible to obtain orgasms without penetration, the demand for penetrative sex decreases.
  784. If the act is voluntary and harmless, there is no reason to call it unhealthy.
  785. Medicine reduces inequalities between the sexes.
  786. Modern life itself, because of the demand for women in the work force, threatens gender roles.
  787. “Performance,” “function,” “preparation,” and other concepts are of limited importance in situations of non-penetrative sexual contact.
  788. Moreover, giving less emphasis on penetration implies giving less emphasis on heterosexuality.
  789. For many women, it is easier to have orgasms without penetration.
  790. Most libidinous non-penetrative acts pose no risk to those involved.
  791. As libidinous, non-penetrative acts may delay the need for penetrative acts, there will be more planning before making the decision to have “real” sex, reducing the chances of pregnancy or illness.
  792. When someone says that child sexuality should be accepted, the first objection is “what if the child gets sick?”
  793. What is implicit in this argument is that, unless sexually transmitted diseases (in particular AIDS) are eradicated, children and adolescents have to stay away from sexuality (see note 792).
  794. It was the AIDS epidemic that changed the way we view sex education: if AIDS exists, the ideal of sexual freedom needs to be rethought … or abandoned.
  795. But not teaching about sex does not lessen the adolescent’s desire to have sex, so they kept doing it, despite uninformed.
  796. In the mid-1990s, one teenager per hour was infected with AIDS in the United States, shortly after the change in attitude regarding sex education.
  797. This is reflected in the fact that the main cause of death in adults between the ages of twenty-five and forty-four in the United States is AIDS, since these subjects acquired the virus when they were adolescents.
  798. An American estimate (this estimate came up in the 1990s) shows that something between 20% and 30% of homosexual adolescents would be infected with AIDS before the age of thirteen .
  799. The incidence of AIDS can be mitigated by good health policies, quality education and improved purchasing power.
  800. One must remember that sex is not the only way to get AIDS: drug users or people who receive transfusions of contaminated blood can get the virus without sex.
  801. So even if everyone “went monk”, it would still be possible to get AIDS.
  802. If prevention programs work, you can not take the funds from these programs because the number of people attendint to them has declined (if it’s declining, it’s because they work)!
  803. When a person, child or not, states their sexuality, people are forced to regard that person as a sexual being: they would not know if they were heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual if they did not feel a desire for a particular sex.
  804. So when the boy says “I’m gay, ” he’s giving a strong statement that he’s not innocent.
  805. The worst prejudice that a homosexual or bisexual can suffer is the one that comes from the family itself.
  806. For example, there are still parents who kick those boys (almost always boys) from home.
  807. In 1997, in District 202, 40% of underage homosexuals had been expelled from the home at least temporarily (150 subjects were interviewed).
  808. And it is because they have to survive without their parents that many of these boys prostitute themselves .
  809. With this, the family poses the greatest risk to an underage homosexual or bisexual.
  810. Other things associated with this phenomenon are the high consumption of alcohol and drugs and a higher rate of suicide.
  811. If having sex is a sign of happiness, then the middle class is depressed, different from the indigenous and the working class.
  812. Western capitalist culture may not even be the best society model for those seeking sexual satisfaction.
  813. Family, community, and even spirituality can be used for sexual satisfaction and acceptance, things whose values ​​stir away from victimology.
  814. If the church wants to save the whole world, it must not ban bisexuals or homosexuals from their seats, especially because it leads them to seek another faith.
  815. One problem with AIDS prevention programs is to classify this or that subject as being a “risk person”.
  816. This allows people to be categorized by their potential for contamination, but this practice can be used in a timely manner to increase homophobia, racism or xenophobia (Africans are “high risk” people, for example).
  817. So the person who wants to have sex, but does not want to ask questions about the partner’s STD history, will not ask about the subject’s health; they will simply avoid “high-risk people”, such as blacks, immigrants, or gay partners.
  818. Therefore, you reject the partner not for their effective health, but because you are encouraged to make generalizations based on “high-risk” categories.
  819. This influences public policies, stimulating the creation of more educational policies for “low-risk” populations and more sanitary measures for “high-risk” populations, as if the black culture or the gay lifestyle were inherently self-destructive.
  820. Instead of talking about “risk groups” (homosexuals, blacks and others), let’s talk about “risk behaviors” (such as unprotected anal sex, for example): if we avoid behaviors rather than people, everyone will be educated and protected, not just this or that group.
  821. You can get AIDS because of contaminated equipment.
  822. You can also get AIDS as a baby by drinking the milk from the contaminated mother.
  823. There are homosexuals who do not like penetrative sex!
  824. A prostitute may require you to use a condom or refuse service if you do not use it.
  825. Contrary to popular belief, a lot of minors in relationships with adults are sufficiently informed.
  826. Do not underestimate a teenager’s sexual information.
  827. It is easier to make informed decisions in countries where the demand for information is met by the state.
  828. When nobody respects you, you will also stop respecting yourself.
  829. Sex is easier to find than love.
  830. Ironically, risky sex is more often done in the context of a loving relationship than in casual sex.
  831. That’s because you trust the long-time partner.
  832. It is assumed that your trusty partner is not having sex outside the relationship with another person…
  833. Therefore, the fact that you are in a long monogamous relationship does not prevent you from having sexually transmitted diseases if your girl is cheating on you.
  834. So there’s reason to have safe sex even after being married.
  835. Do not assume your partner keeps no secrets from you.
  836. Because it is assumed that the partner is not having sex with another person, the subject is uncomfortable asking for condoms to be used in the next relationship, and this fact may make a stable relationship more dangerous than a casual one, because there is no embarrassment in using condoms with strangers.
  837. There is a prejudice that women do not cheat.
  838. When the woman carries the condoms and gives them to the man at the time of the intercourse, she exposes herself to the risk of being judged: “If she carries condoms, it is because she is always ready to have sex with whoever appears.”
  839. Mentioning safe sex in a stable relationship threatens trust between partners.
  840. If we continue putting só much emphasis on trust, stable relationships will be riskier than casual sex.
  841. One third of teens cheat their partner.
  842. 60% of teens use condoms every time they have sex.
  843. What’s more important: your partner’s life or the relationship?
  844. If you cheat, get sick with AIDS (for example), and do not tell your partner, you’re killing an innocent, despite claiming to love that person.
  845. Sexually transmitted diseases in general and AIDS in particular do not choose their targets based on levels of love.
  846. Our conception of love is dangerous: true love is not what we see in the movies.
  847. Collective survival is the first step to creating strong and resilient communities of minorities.
  848. When the community is strong, the hatred of it becomes a source of strength and even pride.
  849. Good self-esteem is related to a greater tendency to have safe sex.
  850. Love your man more than you love your relationship with him.
  851. Awareness campaigns should take this into account and show that safe sex is not only a form of self-defense (which can be seen as selfishness), but also a way to defend your partner and even your community (which is seen as altruism).
  852. We made many mistakes in our children’s sex education, but these mistakes were made thanks to our fear of their sexuality.
  853. Eroticism will not destroy civilization.
  854. Responsibility, planning, consent.
  855. Hostility breeds hostility: if you treat the boy with respect and affection, he is unlikely to grow violent.
  856. It is strange to say that treating the boy properly is treating him in a “special” way, because this shows that treating children as trash is standard practice, só much that good treatment becomes “special”.
  857. You know if the child is treated like a human being or not by examining the way the child is educated.
  858. It sucks to be a child in the United States, where children and especially teens are seen as undisciplined, rude, spoiled and savage.
  859. If you love your children, make this love show through deeds, not just words.
  860. Those who love, act accordingly.
  861. Americans say they love their children, but they act as if they hated them.
  862. The level of happiness of American children is worse than the level of happiness of children living in some third world countries.
  863. The United States is the only developed country that has no public health for all its citizens.
  864. At the time the book was written, the mortality rate of children under the age of 5 in the United States was the same as in Cuba (the book was published in 2002).
  865. Public policies can contribute to poverty.
  866. Poverty is a risk condition for everything our society abhors (drug use, crime, ill health, illiteracy, insecurity, among others).
  867. Poverty is child abuse perpetrated by the state through public policies that allow and even encourage poverty.
  868. There is much talk about child sexual abuse, but the overemphasis on this subject makes us forget that there are bigger and worse problems that affect our children and that they do much more harm, much more often.
  869. There are various forms of child abuse and sexual abuse is just one of them, the most distracting one.
  870. The way we organize our economy, the way we organize our education, our sex lives, and our children’s lives are connected by values ​​that underline all the goals we try to achieve.
  871. Rare things are the most feared.
  872. We care so much about the morals of our children that we forget their material needs .
  873. This was a key feature of the Bush administration.
  874. Ironically, the government deals with our material needs in an immoral way.
  875. The link between poverty and character seems evident in prison, but only because poor people need to commit crimes to survive.
  876. Poverty forces you into crime.
  877. Satisfied people do not commit crimes.
  878. Family values ​​do not improve this situation.
  879. The uselessness of family values ​​in the fight against poverty does not guarantee that the family should be abolished.
  880. In the United States, talking about family values ​​is one way to start a discussion about privatization.
  881. This is because “community” is analogy to “public” and “familiar” is analogy to “business”.
  882. Incest can only occur in the family, obviously.
  883. Most cases of sexual relationship between adult and minor occur within the family.
  884. If the child is involved in the community and the community feels responsible for all children, all adults will protect children, not only parents, which are only two (at most), thus reducing child abuse.
  885. Children should be seen as citizens.
  886. They should feel that they have an active role in society and that this role is immediate, not something that will only be assumed in a vague “future.”
  887. The boy should feel that he makes a difference.
  888. This does not mean having adult responsibilities, but having a stake in the progress of the community to which one belongs.
  889. It is because the boy does not feel nor acts like a citizen that we treat him as “less than human” being.
  890. If we saw children and adolescents as equals, their sexuality would be viewed less negatively.
  891. Adopting a moral position in relation to child sexuality means assessing its good potentialities and the real risks .
  892. Our reference should be the best interests of the child.
  893. We need to understand the dangers surrounding the child to know which of those dangers are real and which are not, and how to deal with real dangers, which requires a more rational and less emotional approach .
  894. A false danger can cause as much fear as a real danger.
  895. Sex can be made dangerous by things that are non-sexual in nature.
  896. Child sexuality poses no risk to the child.

1 Comentário »

  1. […] pra compreender seus livros, eu dei tal propósito a este blog. Se você tem algo a dizer e acha que outros se beneficiariam do que você diz, por que você não fala? O sábio silencioso é […]


    Pingback por Leituras da semana #4. | Pedra, Papel e Tesoura. — 25 de maio de 2020 @ 22:40

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