Analecto

28 de janeiro de 2019

What I learned by reading “I’m in love with an older man”.

Filed under: Saúde e bem-estar — Tags:, , — Yure @ 17:24

“I’m in love with an older man” was written by Nicole de Wet, Christina Alex-Ojei and Joshua Akinyemi. Below, what I learned by reading this text.

  1. The purpose of the text is to know the reasons why young South African adolescents and young adults seek relationships with much older men.
  2. To achieve this goal, the researchers obtained data on six hundred and twenty girls and women between fifteen and twenty-four years old.
  3. More than a quarter of the girls and women studied had already engaged or were engaging in a relationship with an older man.
  4. For these girls and women, age is a factor of little importance in the relationship.
  5. Economic stability is one of the reasons why girls and women seek older men, but there are other reasons, with economic stability only ranking fourth on the most cited reasons scale.
  6. Most women and girls who seek men for financial stability are students, widows or divorced.
  7. Economic stability is not the most prevalent reason to seek this kind of relationship: feeling secure in the presence of someone stronger and more experienced is a more common reason for this kind of contact.
  8. So not all girls and women who look for older men are doing so for money.
  9. These men are five, sometimes ten years older than the girls or women who seek them out.
  10. In Botswana, 19% of women reported having a relationship with age disparity.
  11. Counting those who had such kind of relationship, but not necessarily maintained such relationship in the present, the number may be 37.7% or even 41%, depending on the study.
  12. What makes these relationships problematic is not the age difference.
  13. In South Africa, men sometimes think that younger women or girls do not have STDs or have them at lower levels, so they tend to not use condoms when having sex with them.
  14. Thus, the problem of these relationships are social factors that discourage safe sex, resulting in illness or accidental pregnancy.
  15. In addition, there is the problem that some people who have a STD care less about protecting themselves (“I’m already sick anyway”), which results in partner infection .
  16. To qualify for the study, the subject’s most recent partner had to be at least five years older than herself.
  17. Some of the girls and women studied had younger partners as well.
  18. The most cited reason for these girls and women to look for older men is “age is not important,” meaning they did not view these relationships as something too different from relationships with peers.
  19. The second reason most cited was “I feel safe with him”.
  20. The third most cited reason was “none of the above”.
  21. The fourth most cited reason was “he can support me financially.”
  22. The fifth most cited reason was “he is experienced and satisfies me sexually”.
  23. The less-quoted reason was “he does not cheat on me.”
  24. Some women had relationships with men who were eleven years older than themselves.
  25. More than half of the girls and women who reported seeking older men for financial support were unemployed.
  26. Younger girls tended to say “age is not important” more often, while older women tended to say “he can support me financially” more often.
  27. So the older the woman, the more likely she is to be looking for older men because of money (at least in South Africa).
  28. Despite this, half of the subjects studied say that they look for these relationships as if searching for relationships with people of their same age (“age is not important”).
  29. Pleasure, love and adventure are also reasons to look for older people (“he satisfies me sexually”).
  30. Unfortunately, age-discrepant relationships are correlated to having multiple partners (“he does not cheat on me”).
  31. Still, it must be remembered that there is a stigma surrounding the practice of seeking relationships for financial reasons, which may lead some women to hide this fact and lie in the interview.
  32. Because of that, the amount of girls and women who seek older men for money is probably greater than what the data suggests.
  33. But it’s not possible that all those women and girls are lying.
  34. The practice of pursuing relationships for money would be mitigated if there were less poverty.

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