Analecto

25 de dezembro de 2018

O que aprendi lendo “Identifying the psychobiological correlates of pedophilic desire and behavior”.

Filed under: Saúde e bem-estar — Tags:, — Yurinho @ 17:48

Identifying the psychobiological correlates of pedophilic desire and behavior: how can we generalize our knowledge beyond forensic samples?” foi escrito por Lisa J. Cohen e Igor I. Galynker. Abaixo, o que aprendi lendo esse texto.

  1. A definição de pedofilia no DSM-IV-TR é rudimentar e limitada pelo pouco que se sabia sobre a atração por crianças.
  2. Se não compreendermos o fenômeno, não poderemos lidar com ele de forma adequada.
  3. Se a pesquisa for capenga, os critérios para emissão de diagnóstico serão capengas.
  4. Como a maior parte das pesquisas sobre pedofilia são feitas na população forense (pessoas encarceradas), é natural que a descrição do DSM-IV-TR seja falha.
  5. Não sabemos como funciona o pedófilo que se abstém de contato sexual com crianças.
  6. Ser atraído por crianças não garante que você se relacionará com elas.
  7. Um diagnóstico pode ter pouco significado clínico.
  8. O criminoso que se relaciona com uma criança sem ser pedófilo pode estar fazendo o que faz por falta de autocontrole (na falta de um parceiro adulto, se relaciona com uma criança), o que o torna diferente daquele que se relaciona com uma criança por causa de pedofilia (atração preferencial).
  9. Mais ansiedade, menos desejo e um histórico sexual anormal (por exemplo, pode ser abstinente ou nunca ter sido visto com um parceiro) são traços de atração, enquanto que mais impulsividade, tendência maior a se justificar e traços de psicopatia são sinais de pouco autocontrole.
  10. Comparando os pedófilos estudados com os viciados em drogas (também população forense), pedófilos têm menos impulsividade e menos indícios de psicopatia.
  11. Em geral, o pedófilo sofre de mais ansiedade do que as pessoas normais (óbvio).
  12. Como esses dados foram obtidos na população forense, os autores são honestos ao dizer que esses resultados não se estendem a pedófilos que se abstém de relações com crianças.

14 de julho de 2018

Um e-mail que eu mandei pro Gay Star News.

Então, visto que tem um monte de gente falando da tal “bandeira” da pedofilia esses dias, eu resolvi, como bom estudante do assunto, clarificar as coisas com o pessoal do Gay Star News. Como é improvável que eles postem meu e-mail, eu resolvi colá-lo aqui também.

Acerca de “pessoas atraídas por menores”.

Eu li seu artigo sobre o negócio da bandeira e eu tenho alguns pensamentos sobre essa história. Primeiro, “pessoa atraída por menor” é um termo empurrado pela B4U-ACT, um círculo terapêutico que visa ajudar pedófilos e hebéfilos a permanecer dentro da lei, apesar de terem sentimentos voltados a menores. A ideia por trás do termo não é normalizar a pedofilia, mas permitir que pedófilos se sintam mais à vontade com seus terapêutas, já que a palavra “pedófilo” virou insulto.

Segundo, essas pessoas em geral não querem nada a ver com LGBT. É fútil se anexar a um movimento que rejeita você. Dizer que você é parte desse movimento não muda o fato de que você não é. Ambos os grupos estão separados. Importante notar que, enquanto há indivíduos interessados na legalização, há também os que não estão (os tais “virtuosos”). Então, MAPs não podem fazer quaisquer esforços em direção a grandes mudanças sociais, porque não há consenso dentro dessas comunidades sobre a legalização. De fato, esse é um problema que divide uma minoria em minorias menores ainda, reduzindo, portanto, seu potencial político pra qualquer coisa.

Terceiro, você pode ser diagnosticado com pedofilia já aos dezesseis anos, se você tem sentimentos por menores por pelo menos seis meses e tal menor desejado tem menos de treze anos. Assim, é possível ser um menor atraído por menores. Isso torna confusa a afirmação do artigo de que “menores têm que se afastar de MAPs”, porque existem menores que se identificam como MAPs (novamente, isso não implica nem ação e nem mesmo interesse em legalização).

Finalmente, considerando todas essas coisas, a gente lembra do trote que foi o Heart Progress. O consenso em comunidades de MAPs ao redor da Internet, tanto os favoráveis quanto os infavoráveis à legalização, é de que Heart Progress era um grupo “troll”. A ideia era anexar o estigma da pedofilia à ideologia da esquerda. Eu já vi MAPs dizerem que Heart Progress foi fundado pela direita alternativa, numa tentativa de descreditar a esquerda. Então, se MAPs não querem associação com LGBT (nem LGBT quer associação com MAPs), qualquer tentativa de juntar os dois, ao menos no Ocidente, deve ser vista como uma piada ou um golpe. Outro incidente que me vem à mente é o daqueles cinco caras carregando uma faixa da NAMBLA durante uma marcha de esquerda. Acabou que esses caras não eram esquerda, mas estavam ali pra sabotar a marcha.

Entenda que, em tempos de conservadorismo, a esquerda em geral e os gays em particular estão sob pressão. Grupos sem escrúpulos usarão táticas extremas para descreditar a ideologia de esquerda e reduzir os liberais em número. Eu também acho que você deveria olhar mais fundo no fenômeno das pessoas atraídas por menores, porque, pelo que eu li no seu texto, você tá muito mal informado.

Eu escrevi um texto sobre atração por menores, que pode ser lido neste sítio aqui.

21 de junho de 2018

Sobre a remoção da TEDx Talk sobre pedofilia.

Então, nesta semana apareceu uma conversa TEDx no Youtube sobre pedofilia. O nome traduzido era algo como “Por que nossa percepção sobre a pedofilia deve mudar”. Cara, o que aconteceu em quatro dias tem consequências tanto positivas quanto negativas. Existe um lado bom no que aconteceu.

Primeiramente, vamos ao vídeo. O vídeo mostrava uma mulher dando uma palestra sobre como o estigma social relacionado à pedofilia impede pedófilos sinceros de procurar tratamento. Há várias razões pra isso: medo de denúncia obrigatória, medo da repercussão dentro da família, medo de perder o trabalho, medo de perder os amigos, medo de violência, medo. Então, por causa desse medo, altamente justificado, um monte de pedófilos continua no armário, lidando sozinho com seus problemas, inclusive com a abstinência sexual. Eles não têm como procurar apoio profissional, tanto por razões legais quanto por razões sociais. Não tem condições. Então, a menos que as pessoas entendam que pedófilos são seres humanos e que muitos deles querem ajuda, o tratamento pra pedófilos que desejam tratamento não poderá ser aplicado efetivamente. É verdade, pedofilia não tem cura, mas existem vários problemas relacionados a ela, grande maioria de ordem social, que transformam uma atração inofensiva por si, que pode ser satisfeita por meio de meras fantasias, em um problema enorme, difícil de resolver por meio das forças meramente humanas. O tratamento não seria voltado a curar o pedófilo, porque isso é impossível, mas a ajudá-lo a permanecer dentro da lei, ao mesmo tempo que melhora sua qualidade de vida. Isso nunca vai acontecer se a percepção que a sociedade tem da pedofilia não mudar. Portanto, o estigma da pedofilia, ao ampliar os problemas do pedófilo, interferindo em seu equilíbrio mental, ao mesmo tempo que o impede de procurar ajuda, fertiliza, sim, os campos do sexo com menor.

Eu aposto que a maioria das pessoas que deu dislike no vídeo não viu mais que o título. Logo surgiram gritos irados de que o canal TEDx estava normalizando a pedofilia e, consequentemente, trabalhando para sua legalização. Primeiramente, pedofilia não é crime. O parecer da comunidade científica é que pedofilia, quando causa desajuste mental ou quando encontra expressões ilegais, é distúrbio psiquiátrico. O nome do crime é estupro de vulnerável, o qual, diga-se de passagem, não precisa ser estupro pra ser tipificado como tal. Como o TEDx é uma comunidade científica, eles nada tem a ver com as leis. Seu trabalho é fornecer um espaço para que as pessoas falem o que pensam. Quem decide sobre as leis é a população politizada e a ciência, se é realmente ciência, não pode agir com intenção política. Então nunca o canal TEDx teve a intenção de legalizar nada. Em segundo lugar, isso mostra que um monte de gente que levanta a voz contra a pedofilia não está nem aí pra segurança das crianças! Cara, naquela palestra, só faltou falar em corrente. A reação ao vídeo foi tão ruim, que o canal tirou o vídeo do ar na mesma semana e outra palestra no mesmo canal, sobre o mesmo assunto, isto é, sobre o tratamento dos problemas dos pedófilos pra que eles não quebrem a lei, já está sob ataque. Tá entendo o que eu tô dizendo? Esse pessoal não raciocina. Está patente que o movimento antipedófilo não tem nada a ver com o bem-estar das crianças, do contrário eles não atacariam iniciativas terapêuticas!

O lado bom disso é que o movimento antipedófilo perderá crédito entre pessoas de bom senso. Essas pessoas verão a situação, assentirão e dirão “um bando de caras que não viram o vídeo fizeram pressão pra censurar conteúdo terapêutico de relevância pública de um canal universitário.” Isso é um ataque à liberdade de pesquisa e divulgação, um ataque à liberdade de expressão, uma grande ignorância que, ainda por cima, pode ser prejudicial às crianças. E não estou falando somente das crianças sexualmente ativas ou das crianças molestadas, estou falando de pessoas que descobrem, ainda na infância, que são pedófilas. Sim, existem adolescentes pedófilos, que escondem o sentimento, mas que absorvem esse estigma que vem de todos os lados, o que piora seu autocontrole, sua autoestima e, claro, serve de plano de fundo para o suicídio de pessoas jovens. Então, o lado bom é que essa reação desastrosa descredita o esforço dos antipedófilos. Eles não estão nessa porque querem a segurança de seus filhos ou da geração futura. Então por quê?

Simples: pedófilos são o último grupo que somos permitidos odiar. Você não pode mais discriminar judeus, muçulmanos, homossexuais, negros, imigrantes, mulheres, só resta discriminar pedófilo mesmo. Então, não se engane: o objetivo dessas pessoas não é, e agora isto está suficientemente provado, proteger crianças, mas tornar a vida dos pedófilos um inferno, o que vai contra o ideal de proteger crianças. A razão de existir dessas pessoas é o ódio. Querem desculpas pra odiar, porque odiar as faz se sentir bem. Quem é o doente agora?

21 de junho de 2016

Pedofilia: o que é?

Filed under: Saúde e bem-estar — Tags:, — Yurinho @ 08:52

O texto abaixo é uma honesta aula filosófica baseada em 302.2: Pedophilia, escrito pela American Psychiatry Association, com sugestões de como as ideias contidas em tal escrito podem ser usadas para desenvolver o país e ajudar as pessoas a se compreenderem.

Pedofilia: o que é?

Pedofilia é a atração sexual por crianças, quando experiementada por um adolescente ou um adulto. No entanto, para qualificar como pedófilo, é preciso que a pessoa seja significantemente mais velha que a criança desejada e também é preciso que a criança não tenha ainda começado o ciclo puberal. Assim, o pedófilo é aquele que gosta de crianças que ainda não tenham nenhum sinal de puberdade. Se a pessoa gosta de crianças e adolescentes que tenham começado, mas não terminado, o ciclo puberal, a pessoa é “hebéfila”. Se a pessoa gosta de adolescentes que concluíram o ciclo puberal, mas não chegaram à idade adulta, a pessoa é “efebófila”. Existem pedófilos entre homens e entre mulheres, alguns preferem meninos e outros preferem meninas, alguns preferem crianças mais velhas e outros preferem crianças mais novas. A pedofilia não tem uma causa ainda elucidada, mas se sabe que ela não é aprendida e tem natureza egosintônica: o pedófilo tem esses sentimentos há tanto tempo, que é difícil ele pensar como as coisas poderiam ser diferentes. O pedófilo pode ser exclusivo (só sente tesão por criança) ou não-exclusivo (gosta também de adultos).

Um pedófilo que satisfaz seu desejo com uma criança não necessariamente usará de violência contra ela. A menos que o pedófilo seja também sádico, não é do interesse dele ameaçar ou ferir a criança. Nesses casos, em que o pedófilo concilia seu desejo pelos gurizinhos com sua repulsa a causar dor a esses gurizinhos, suas atitudes serão superficiais: despir a criança, tocá-la, acariciá-la, dormir nu com ela e coisas que tais. Esse tipo de pedófilo, que é talvez o mais comum, tenta se certificar que a criança é participante voluntária. Pode ser que, pra fazer com a criança aceite, ele faça também favores ao menino ou menina desejado ou racionalize consigo que a prostituição infantil beneficia a criança que recebe o dinheiro. Nos casos em que a pedofilia coexiste com o sadismo, o pedófilo não apenas deseja a criança como também lhe deseja causar dor, caso no qual pode ocorrer a penetração e o uso de força. Donde decorre que a violência não é característica inerente à pedofilia.

E como é que se diagnostica?

Até onde eu sei, não existe teste na Internet que te diga se você é ou não pedófilo, mas o critério de avaliação do DSM-IV-TR está disponível livremente. Para saber se você é pedófilo ou não, você precisa preencher os critérios descritos no livro. O primeiro deles é o critério etário: não pode ser considerado pedófilo quem ainda não fez dezesseis anos. A criança desejada precisa ser também prepúbere (não pode ter começado a puberdade) e precisa ter cinco anos a menos que a pessoa avaliada. Observe que muitos pedófilos percebem sua atração antes dos dezesseis, mas vamos esperar até o sujeito ter dezesseis anos, pra nos certificarmos que não se trata de um interesse passageiro. O segundo critério é a duração dos sentimentos: o sujeito precisa sentir desejo sexual por crianças prepúberes há, pelo menos, seis meses. Isso mostra que esse desejo é recorrente o bastante pra ser considerado parte da sexualidade da pessoa. O terceiro critério é a consequência: se a pessoa deve ter satisfeito o desejo de alguma forma ou tais sentimentos causam sofrimento à pessoa.

Se você tem, pelo menos, dezesseis anos; se você sente desejo por crianças de onze anos ou menos e que ainda não têm nenhum sinal de puberdade; se você já satisfez o desejo ou se tal desejo te faz se sentir mal; se você preenche esses critérios, você é pedófilo.

Recomendações.

Se você é pedófilo, não necessariamente há motivo pra alarde. Primeiro, porque você não é também violento, a menos que seja também sádico ou psicopata. Segundo, porque a pedofilia também não implica uma baixa força de vontade ou excesso de desejo sexual, a menos que coexista com ninfomania ou algo do tipo. Terceiro, porque, de acordo com a versão mais recente do DSM, o DSM-V, a pedofilia não é doença enquanto o sujeito não se sente mal por seus desejos e na medida em que o pedófilo consegue se manter dentro da lei. Com isso, embora o DSM-IV-TR possa dizer quando um sujeito é ou não pedófilo, a ciência vem aceitando que uma pessoa, mesmo quando tem vontade de fazer algo ilegal, não é doente quando não cede à vontade. Pelo contrário: é um sujeito de autocontrole. Isso é virtude, não vício. Todo o mundo tem vontade de matar o vizinho barulhento, mas quantos realmente vão lá e fazem isso? É a mesma coisa com você. O limite de todo bom cidadão é a lei. Conheça a lei e cumpra-a.

Mas eu concedo que o pedófilo, especialmente o exclusivo, pode ter dificuldade com essa condição, porque, pra muitos, realização sexual é uma das condições pra viver bem ou mesmo ser feliz. Bom, lembremos que existem pessoas celibatárias e que são felizes. É meu caso. Nunca vi o sexo, com qualquer pessoa, como condição de possibilidade pra realização pessoal. Mas mesmo assim, eu tenho a vantagem de ainda pode consumir pornografia comum, ao passo que a pornografia infantil é ilegal. Então, a satisfação sexual pedofílica só pode se dar na imaginação do pedófilo, durante a masturbação solitária. Infelizmente, enquanto as leis forem do jeito que são, deverá ser assim. Digo isso porque leis contra relação sexual antes de certa idade nem sempre existiram. Isso é ainda mais verdadeiro em relação a leis contra pornografia infantil. Quem sabe? Pode ser que, no futuro, as leis sejam diferentes.

15 de maio de 2015

Notes on “Paedophilia”.

Filed under: Livros — Tags:, — Yurinho @ 14:31

“Paedophilia: The Radical Case” was written by Tom O’Carroll. Below are some notes that I took about his book.

  1. There are few books on pedophilia, because professionals are scared of discussing it. It’s a taboo in our times. Excluding specialized literature, people either remember of it negatively or prefer to forget.
  2. Not even pedophiles themselves discuss pedophilia (at the time when the book was written).
  3. Because the debate is extremely poor, the author wrote the book to balance the majority negative view on the subject. He claims to be pedophile.
  4. The pedophile influence in popular movements exist. A number of people who are not pedophillic want age of consent abolishment, for diverse reasons. But the group that insisted most in that question was the pedophile movement in seventies and eighties. Their agenda made sense. It wasn’t a matter of obtaining “license to rape.”
  5. To speak positively about relationships between adults and minors is covered by the human right of freedom of speech. But politics seem to have selective memory.
  6. Pedophilia is a problem that is smaller than it seems. In fact, as a romantic or sexual attraction, it’s no problem at all.
  7. Some church groups, as well, in the eighties, were favorable to the softening of age of consent laws, arguing that the laws originally conceived to protect the youth are doing more harm than good.
  8. The pedophile author doesn’t want to destroy family.
  9. Child sexual repression makes the child grow as a sexually incompetent or irresponsible adult.
  10. The author’s goal isn’t to conduct scientific research or to offer new research results, but to offer a pedophile opinion on the subject of pedophilia. A debate about homosexuality or christianity that doesn’t include the homosexual or the christian can not be considered impartial, because it’s a discourse about someone that ignores said someone. I can’t see how a debate about pedophilia can be called “impartial” without the opinion of pedophiles themselves.
  11. The author is a boy lover.

  12. The author admits that there’s a problem in other boy lover publications: to write as if girls didn’t exist. A comprehensive approach on pedophilia requires one to take encounters involving girls in consideration as well.

  13. An approach like those would allow a better counter-argumentation when debating radical feminists, who treat pedophiles as exclusively male beings who exclusively desire girls. They use that “1/4 demographics” to generalize all pedophilia… and still manage to do it poorly.

  14. It seems like advanced societies, first world societies, have an aversion to sex in general. Not only the sex that is considered non-normative, such as homosexuality or pedophilia, but all forms of sex. It’s important to point that it’s a majorly western phenomenon: Japan is more chill.
  15. This book is a coletive effort between the author and psychologists, psyquiatrists, sociologists, philosophers, medics, lawyers, politicians and sexologists. So, like, if you have problems with age of consent laws, even without being a pedophile, you should read this…
  16. To find bibliography before Internet was invented was probably boring and complex…
  17. T. H. White was a pedophile. Apparently, exclusive…
  18. The pedophillic desire is, normally, innocuous. A fair number don’t even want penetration. They do not want to do anything forced or painful with the child. But society’s reaction to those feelings is what makes them risky. So, the number of positive relationships isn’t bigger just because there’s a number of well-meaning adults holding themselves back.
  19. Our friend feels attracted to children ever since he was a child himself. Sounds familiar.

  20. The most sexually active years in a person life may very well be the childhood and adolescence years.
  21. The pedophile finds out that they like younger people when their sexuality “stops growing up” with them. They get older and the target of their attraction continues to be people who didn’t hit puberty yet. The feelings aren’t exclusively sexual, but also protective and romantic.
  22. Children like physical contact. They are mammals, after all.
  23. There are children who want it, there are children who do not want it.
  24. At least in other nations, children are educated to not accept affection from any adult, except parents. And even the affection between parents had to be done away from the child, such as kisses and caressing between mother and father. That creates the sensation that affection is something restricted. That, allied to the limitation of sexual information, turns the child oblivious to the existence of sex or makes the child see sex as something wrong, dirty or forbidden. Maybe the child even thinks that the parents are virgin. For the child, that does make sense.
  25. The author’s childhood was só chaste that he would be terrified by the sight of his parents’ genitals. He should have lived here, in Northeast, because I saw my parents nude almost all the time, because the heat demanded us to not be very dressed, at least indoors. In fact, I used to shower with my dad. Was wild.
  26. For the pedophile, being a pedophile is being normal. That’s because it’s something that grows with them. The pedophile usually doesn’t ask “why”, once it’s a natural trait for him. It’d be like someone asking “why am I normal?”.
  27. An upbringing like the author’s upbringing is limited and causes problems in adult life.
  28. The child generalizes the experiences they had in childhood. “If was raised that way, other children probably were too.” The shock happens when the child notices that it’s not like that, when the prejudice is challenged. In the author’s case, he assumed that all children are scared of intimacy with adults. I imagine him being thrown in Northeast Brazil during the nineties. I would even share a room with him just to see his reaction upon seeing my father kiss my lips.
  29. Some parents instill fear and sexual guilt in the child, an attitude that is currently uncommon. There’s a lot of tykes using Whatsapp to ask for porn to other kids who do the same. The problem with that deviant behavior is that you need to be thirteen to have Whatsapp accounts.
  30. But other parents, such as mine, raise their children in a way that stimulates and quenches their sexual curiosity, allowing the child to take a more realistic take on life. I know it may sound strange, but my father was work safety technician and had a lot of magazines about sexually-transmitted diseases, pregnancy and contraception, written in comic format. At age 6, I read everything in sight and those comics were no exception. That didn’t make any more interested in having sex, but I know how to do it, why would I want to do it, what are the consequences and how to avoid such consequences. To learn about sex doesn’t necessarely makes the minor inclined to try it.

  31. An adult may hear a minor say “can I see under your pants?”, deny the minor and then tell to his friends “children aren’t interested in adult nudity.” To learn that children are innocent makes the adult disregard what he just heard when a child makes a definitely sexual request, even if the child doesn’t know it’s sexual.
  32. Anti-contacts should read this, it almost looks like the first chapter was written for them. There are children who want it and wouldn’t feel offended by being exposed to adult sexuality.
  33. Children do that to adults they trust.
  34. It’s the belief that children are innocent that makes pedophilia unacceptable. If it became clear that there are children who desire intimate contact with adults outside of family and that said children would benefit from such contact, there would be no reason for age of consent laws.
  35. The pedophile, in several senses, acts like a parent to the child, except that they feel aroused from acting as parent.
  36. It has no cure. If it has no cure, maybe it’s time to check if it’s really an illness.
  37. Many pedophiles pass as normal people with no problem at all. They aren’t the monsters described in media.
  38. They are normal relationships, if you ignore the age of the participants.
  39. Just like homosexuals refused treatment even when put to jail, pedophiles refuse treatment even when found out. That doesn’t mean that homosexuals are bad, but that pedophiles rarely are.
  40. To keep a loving person from loving is to twist their mind.
  41. Excluding the sexual element, pedophiles are good as teachers, doctors and even children rights advocates.
  42. The fear that society nurtures about pedophilia has no scientific base.
  43. A child in a positive relationship with an adult, upon learning that such relationship was supposed to be negative, becomes confused. That prejudice is also frequently associated to homophobia.
  44. Denied pedophiles may commit passionate crimes, just like denied adult-attracted adults.
  45. Stigma makes it worse.
  46. After the pedophile is excluded from society, what is there to lose? So, having a stable job and a desired role in society keeps pedophiles “in check”, for lack of better term. Unfortunately, that keeps state-funded researchers with their mouths as shut as possible.
  47. In a situation like the author’s, it’s not hard to imagine that some pedophiles may very well hate children and don’t want to stay around them. I wonder how many of those adults who say “I hate children” didn’t use to love them.
  48. The author was driven to attempt suicide. And, in the end, he didn’t even have a reason to.
  49. Have a relationship with a child is to deal with more responsibility than you would deal in a relationship with an adult. If you were a normal adult, you wouldn’t choose that. Pedophilia isn’t a choice.
  50. Would society work better without age of consent? If só, why does age of consent exist? If there are positive outcomes, why are all relationships forbidden, rather than only the negative ones? Why waste public money punishing someone who did no harm, rather than punishing only those who did harm?
  51. Freud demonstrated that children and even babies are sexual beings. That’s still news for many people.
  52. The problem is that the latency period between phallic stage and genital stage does not exist.
  53. Back in Freud’s times, child sexuality was seen as a problem to be eliminated. Today, a number of experts reflect that antiquated opinion.
  54. What is wrong in recognizing that children feel sexual pleasure and desire such pleasure? Why take the baby’s hand from inside the diaper?
  55. But “sexuality” can be taken in several senses. What do we mean by “sexuality”? What is child sexuality?
  56. Scientific evidence (as well as your memories, you naughty boy) shows that children and babies have orgasms. Well, in my childhood, I didn’t have any because I learned that you had to think about sex to have an orgasm and sex never interested me. If I knew that I could think of other things, maybe I would have experienced one.
  57. In boys, orgasms happen without ejaculation, as ejaculation only begins to happen in puberty.

  58. Anyone can have orgasms right after being born. In fact, there’s an article called “Ultrasonographic Observation Of A Female Fetus’ Sexual Behavior In Utero” which shows that some kids masturbate before even being born, still in the mother’s womb… If you are a mother, maybe you caught your fetus’ during a moment like that, during ultrasonographic session.
  59. Children experiment with each other.
  60. It is, therefore, ridiculous to keep minors from expressing sexuality before adolescence, só much that minors themselves are the biggest offenders of age of consent laws.
  61. When the girl approaches puberty, the parents may try to keep her from getting close to the opposite gender. So, a girl has less sexual experiences in adolescence than a boy.
  62. Culturally, in the previous century, girls were overprotected, compared to boys. You used to see a lot of boys playing ball on the streets, but where were the girls? At home.
  63. The latency stage, says Kinsey, is cultural. Parents become more worried in harnessing children’ sexual curiosity when the tykes approach puberty. Rousseau even advocated delaying puberty, if possible. What a hipocrite. It’s not a natural, but a cultural exigence for the child to stay “latent” in that period of life.
  64. The proof that child sexuality doesn’t become latent before puberty is that the child still masturbates during that period.
  65. If sexuality was an adult attribute, nature wouldn’t have given absurd fertility rates to adolescents.
  66. I spend more time writing these annotations than reading the text.
  67. They had to run those studies in Brazil; a number of non-clinical samples are freshly matured for a Bruce Rind to analyse. In fact, it was already done. While the Rind Report showed that 37% of the boys and 11% of the girls agree that the experiences they had in childhood and adolescence were “positive”, the study that ran in Campinas revealed that the same statistic in Campinas, Brazil, is 57%. It’s important to remember that the demographics for the Rind Report was broad (boys and girls who had involvements with minors or adults), while the demographics for the study in Campinas was restricted (only boys, considering only involvements with adults).
  68. The problem is that no one hears about those studies, except for scientists. If the population knew about that data, the moral panic would disappear.
  69. Why Americans think that all relationships with minors are cruel and forced? Because they don’t know, nor are stimulated to know, the sexual behavior of other cultures. That also makes them impose their sexual values to weaker nations.
  70. The layman usually relies on media to learn new stuff. And it’s not in media’s interest to report those things.
  71. In isolated indigenous societies, adults masturbate infants and children, in order to give them a more gratifying sleep. Are those children suffering?
  72. In those societies, prepubescent child sexuality has no negative value, even though it’s not glorified either. A masturbating child is as normal as a child scratching an itch somewhere.
  73. Isolated indigenous societies also have sexual restrictions, but their youth also disregard such prohibitions.
  74. Even public masturbation happens, if the subject is a child.
  75. “Simulated coitus” is coitus.

  76. Yep, kids, in societies like those, have sex. If children, at least in those societies, have sex among each other, out of their own will, if left without adult supervision, then sex isn’t inherently harmful to children, says the author. Now, would such work in our society? Well, if the problem is pregnancy, there are pills for that…
  77. In some societies, the only taboo when it comes to child sexuality is incest. By the way, did you know that incestuous sex is not a crime in Brazil (despite incestuous marriage being só)?
  78. “Playing husband and wife”, Justin Bailey mode.
  79. Interesting: some indigenous people choose their future husband or wife by playing “mom and dad” when they are kids.
  80. In other societies, not having sexual expression in childhood is reason for shame. A boy who doesn’t even touch himself is shamed by his father.
  81. Despite everything, as most of those games happen before puberty, no one gets pregnant and, if someone gets pregnant, must marry.
  82. Tyke exchange.

  83. In many societies, precocious sexuality is seen as a sign of maturing.
  84. Those games happen between children only or between child and adult. And nothing of value is lost.
  85. Tyke lending.

  86. There are records of societies that practice anal sex to make the bottom strong. Well, they say you need to be a strong dude to do it; they happily endure what I can’t endure, even if I cry…
  87. Faced with that, the capitalist christian western guy could think “of course those children are being harmed, once indigenous people are retarded and don’t know what they do.” It’s etnocentrism at it’s worst. You can’t assume they are wrong just because they are indigenous; you need to study them sincerely to see if they aren’t right.
  88. There are behaviors that are worth emulating, but there are also behaviors that aren’t worth emulating. As the book’s subject is pedophilia, what matters now is, obviously, to know if the fact of those relationships being accepted in other societies is enough to grant that they would work in western cultures too, that is, if that’s enough to abolish age of consent. I wonder how many anti-contacts read this book.
  89. Why does the author bombs us with those examples of child sexual behavior? To prove us that the latency period does not exist.
  90. Funny how people discredit this book making negative propaganda of it, rather than addressing the discussion points.
  91. Learning, in humans, overwhelms instinct. A child who doesn’t have any sexual education, but rather has their sexuality harnessed, will be a sexually incompetent adult. It won’t “come naturally” when they are married. Sure, that doesn’t mean that children must be forced to sex, but should have enough room to exercise what “comes naturally” in childhood, under adult supervision. Otherwise, what used to “come naturally” will need to be re-learned.
  92. Being sexually educated by an older person improves the minor’s sexual competence. Notice how teenage pregnancy happens more between teens, cases in which the age gap is next to none. But in Japan, where age of consent is 13, a girl who is going through puberty could learn responsibility with an older partner. That reflects in their teenage pregnancy rates: only four in every one thousand mothers have their first child before age 19. From which we draw that teenage pregnancy isn’t a problem that we can solve by forbidding contact between generations, but through means of education, which can happen by approaching the more experient generation to the more excitable generation. Otherwise, teens will have children with each other.
  93. Sexual activities are just like any other game for children. Experimenting them won’t necessarely make them addicted. There other interesting things in the world.
  94. They won’t also make the child grow without common sense. They quickly learn what to not do in public.
  95. If a person enters adult life with some previous sexual experience, they will have more chances of sexual satisfaction, increasing their chances of considering themselves “happy”.
  96. That could minimize teenage crisis related to their own bodies.
  97. During adolescence, you are easily excited, but you are also forbidden of taking any meaninful action on that regard.
  98. In a more permissive society, a child matures way quicker. If you overprotect a child, you will keep them from having several experiences that could be useful later.
  99. That overprotection makes the child trust no one.
  100. To castrate a guy is like making a women into menopause: it does little effect in sexual activity. Desire isn’t a purely hormonal thing.
  101. Sexuality doesn’t begin at puberty. Everyone has sexuality. Desire doesn’t start at puberty either: it can start before or after. I feel sexual desire since age five. So, if someone argues that pedophilia is an illness and hebephilia isn’t an illness because sexuality begins at puberty, that person is monumentally wrong.
  102. Sexuality isn’t like height or weight, you can’t make a “metrics of desire”. It’s different in everyone, both in nature and intensity. And people with different sexualities may still act the same on public life.
  103. There are teleiophile children.
  104. There are children who give sincere effort into seducing adults, even if in their own way. They want contact, intimacy, even knowing that it’s wrong.
  105. Some sexual contacts between adults and children are initiated by the child.
  106. What parents do to their precocious child? In more “developed” countries, they teach the child to feel shame about themselves. I’m glad I was born in Brazil.
  107. Child sexuality may be seen as pathological depending on the person, for the same reason why pedophilia is still considered illness today: children are “innocent” and must remain só.

  108. If a parent doesn’t know how to deal with child sexuality in a constructive manner, can they really deal with other child development challenges in a constructive manner? If they make the child unhappy and blames their sexuality, that’s bad parenting.
  109. Opportunity makes the thief and also the seductive child.
  110. Adults have sex because they like it. If a child has sexuality, the same can happen to them too.
  111. There are kids playing doctor with their pet dogs.
  112. Lindy Burton speaks as if she was James Cantor’s mother.
  113. If the child needs to learn their sexuality, we can’t explain how some children develop homosexual interest without ever being taught homosexuality.
  114. There are sexually active children who aren’t even 14-year-olds.

  115. It’s a big number: kids who encourage the adult after the act begins, even in our society. The tykes were liking it.
  116. Molestation occurs, it’s just that it doesn’t happen all times.
  117. For some, children can consent.
  118. There are adults who desire children, but there are children who desire adults.
  119. It’s not a matter of obtaining license to rape, but a matter of allowing willing children to find willing responsible adults. Harmful and forced contacts should remain crime.
  120. The restriction of child sexuality is never an isolated fact. Society probably has other sexual taboos as well.

  121. Closing the subject of child sexuality, the author moves onto the subject of pedophillic relationships in society.
  122. Even if the child seeks sexual pleasure, many times they don’t see such pleasure as something different (except in intensity) from the pleasure of playing football. So, even if the goal is pleasure, the child doesn’t see those things as “sexual”. So, for many kids, the meaning of the act is different from the meaning attributed by an adult. But is that really a problem?
  123. In his blog, the author said that the third chapter was written in a deliberately provocative, that is, unsettling way. It’s hard to conceive something more unsettling than the previous chapter…
  124. Relationships between adults and minors go through stages. Generally speaking, pedophiles don’t go “straight to the point”, for lack of a better expression. Just like relationships between adults, they are slowly built. There’s a good difference between the one who falls in love and the rapist: when you are in love, you don’t just do it and walk away.
  125. Ah, yes, I see what he meant with “provocative”…
  126. The pedophile, if is really in love, won’t force the minor. If they do, it’s either a case of comorbidity or it’s a situational offender.
  127. If the involvement is affectionate, but the minor doesn’t have sexual interest, the pedophile can accept that.
  128. Again, real sexual abuse exists. But not all contacts are abusive.
  129. Pedophiles aren’t generally agressive. Rapists are.
  130. Society makes no distinction between positive and negative relationships involving children. Notice how news about statutory rape never include the “victim’s” opinion. No one is interested in what the minor thinks, even when the minor doesn’t want the adult to be punished.
  131. The child can start the act, not suffer with the act, enjoy the act and still manage to get the adult in jail.
  132. “Far from being unrestrained sex maniacs their approaches to children are almost always affectionate and gentle, and the sex acts which occur, mostly mutual display and fondling, resemble the sexual behaviour that goes on between children.” – D. J. West, Homosexuality Re-Examined.
  133. Forced sex with children is infrequent, compared to voluntary relationships. Is that why ¾ of the relationships involving minors are never found out?
  134. Go to the nearest jail and talk to people who were diagnosed with pedophilia. Then, look for their victims and ask them how was it. You can find ten victims and none of them would say “he forced me to”. Pedophiles who have a sexual contact with a child rarely force the child into it. If they did force, it’s unlikely that we are talking about a pedophile, but a regular rapist.
  135. The moral panic about pedophilia has no scientific foundation.
  136. The moral panic causes more damage to children than pedophilia itself. There’s an article at Ipce (but I forgot exactly where) about how children in United Kingdom are growing up without trusting anyone. They are growing like that because any well-meaning adult who approaches to a child is automatically weird. There was a case somewhere in which a man saw a child drowing in a river and let the kid die, because he was scared of someone seeing him grabbing her and thinking that he was a pervert. Not to mention parents who are arrested in Brazil for kissing their children.
  137. The moral panic also harms education.
  138. It’s hard for a pedophile to approach to a kid to do anything sexual with them if the kid is a stranger to them. Usually, the pedophile knows the child before the sexual contact. That’s why people say that sexual contact with children is more common with close relatives.
  139. Each line in this book spawns an annotation, that’s why I take a full hour to read a single page, oh, gosh…
  140. A pedophile doesn’t kill children.
  141. Truth is that rape followed by murder is rare. It’s not something that happens as often as people think. For example, according to the Rind Report, traumatic sexual contacts involving people below age of consent, in United States, are statistical minority, with a sizeable statistic of people who consider those contacts as “positive”. A similar study took place in Brazil. But what do you see on TV? Only trauma. You don’t see news like “8-year-old boy showers with his father and comes out unharmed” or “10-year-old boy is satisfied after going in a date with a 16-year-old girl.” That gives the impression that traumatic events are common.
  142. What does a pedophile do to a child, then? Usually, just fondling. A study made by Paul Gebhard with people who were arrested for sexual contact with minors under age 12 reveals that 94% of those who did it to girls and 97% of those who did it to boys didn’t penetrate the child through vaginal or anal means. Most cases involved manual stimulation, which can even not be mutual, that is, only the child receives the action. If that’s the case, the adult wasn’t touched by the child. Important: not all pedophiles fondle children, with a good amount of them preferring to stay law-abading for obvious reasons.
  143. The pedophile waits until the child shows interest. If the child has no interest, he won’t do anything sexual to the kid. Reminder: the book is about pedophilia, not rape.
  144. Rapists usually already exhibit dangerous behavior even before raping.
  145. People who rape children (real rape, that is, forced sexual activity) may very well be people who prefer adults and, while drunk and in absence of adult partners, take advantage of a child. However, if you prefer adults, you, by definition, aren’t a pedophile. You fail at the diagnosis.
  146. But positive relationships involving minors aren’t an exclusive merit to pedophiles. There are positive relationships between adults and minors in which the adult doesn’t have a preference for minors.
  147. The author admits, however, that there are pedophiles who rape, just like not every heterosexual men is automatically kind to women.
  148. Sexual attraction is normally followed by feelings of being in love. So, if an adult feels sexually attracted to a child, may as well fall in love with the kid. When you love, you don’t want to hurt.
  149. The pedophile, even when not wanting anything sexual, builds friendship with kids.
  150. Common rapists and child rapists usually are more interested in causing pain than achieving sexual pleasure.
  151. There was a time when “pedófilo” (pedophile), in Aurélio Dictionary, meant “person who likes children.”
  152. Pedophilia (love for children) is not misopedia (hate towards children).
  153. For some psychiatrists, pedophilia is a mental disorder in which the subject needs a minor’s cooperation to achieve orgasm. If you force, there’s no cooperation, once cooperation is to operate together, actively. The minor must enjoy it, otherwise it’s no fun for the pedophile either. Thus, the pedophile can not intimidate the child.

  154. Now, that means that the pedophile may treat the child better than other adults would.
  155. The author reminds that not all pedophiles are kind like that, just like not every heterosexual adult is kind towards women.
  156. If those relationships are really harmless, why are they forbidden? You see, the west is scared of non-normative displays of sexuality. See for how long homosexuality was considered taboo. And only now we began to discuss gender identity.
  157. Many people are scared of pedophilia because they are scared of homosexuality. “Won’t that make my child turn gay?” However, when still young, a boy feels attracted to pleasure, not to a specific gender. There’s no necessary causation between relationships in childhood and the development of a non-normative sexuality. If a boy already made up their mind, the pedophile, if they really care about children, will have to respect it.
  158. It’s been two hours since I began my daily reading of this book and I couldn’t fill my quota of ten pages a day.
  159. The fear of an object may be worse than the very object, like a phobia.
  160. A lot of information that people have about pedophilia is no more than myth.
  161. To turn a positive experience into negative, you can start by saying that the person is a victim. Treating a person like a victim will make them feel like a victim.
  162. If the minor is enjoying, they aren’t a “participant victim”, says the author, but just participant. Not a victim of the act (but could very well be a victim of someone eles).
  163. The use of a term such as “participant victim” may be an attempt on the researcher’s part to not sound like he is fine with those relationships. The Rind Report is against that kind of terminology.
  164. Those relationships, if not forced and if the minor is a “participant victim”, that is, if the minor wants those relationships, do not pose a problem to adult life.
  165. There are children who prefer being around adults.
  166. If the child almost never suffers with those contacts, but starts seeing them as bad after growing up, then the phenomenon is thanks to interpretation, not to the act, which varies according to social context. For example: the lowest age of consent in Mexico is 12. Do you really think that all those teens who had a relationship at age 12 grow up and think “dang, that dude took advantage of me”? From which we draw that secondary victimization has roots in how society views the act. The person who told the minor that they are a victim and managed to convince them is the one to blame.
  167. If the child is raped, they receive love and support from friends and family. If the child had a harmless sexual contact and feels good about it, friends and family will try to make the child feel shame over what happened.
  168. Despite that, a lot of tykes grow up without feeling bad for what happened.
  169. If the parents are cold and rigid and the child finds warmth in the companion of another adult, how do you think those parents would react if they find it out? They will treat the child twice as worse than before.
  170. When a person is “raped”, they are submitted to a forensic exam. They grab your genitals and maybe stick something up your rectum. Maybe more than once. Not to mention the interrogatory and the parents’ inflamed response. Is it really worth it to make the child go through that if they didn’t suffer because of the “rape”? Maybe the adult had just fondled the kid. And then the forensic doctor comes and shoves his finger up the tyke. What is worse?
  171. The person might be the best person in the world, they automatically become a monster the moment people discover about their pedophilia.
  172. Society reaction may severely victimize the minor. It’s not worth it to “protect” the minor from sexual contacts before a certain age as long as the minor doesn’t feel bad for those contacts nor is forced into them.
  173. Adults may order the minor to produce false evidence. Do you want to ruin a person? Make your 13-year-old child say that they were molested by said person.
  174. If the minor says that they are in a positive relationship with an adult, the parents may take the case to trial. If the parents win, the adult is sent to jail and the relationship ends. If the parents lose it, the child is labelled as liar, because one can have the impression that the relationship never happened at all.
  175. Even seeing the harm caused to the child, there are parents who say “I would make him go through all that again.”
  176. There are forensic doctors who refuse to run invasive exams in children who didn’t suffer with the relationship. The kids already suffer enough with the parents’ overreaction, with the loss of an adult friend and with the interrogatory.

  177. What if the pedophile is also a minor?
  178. There are people, even today, who say that it’s better to die than to live with sequelae of childhood sexual relationships. Those people are, effectively, telling all people who had a sexual relationship in childhood, positive or not, to commit suicide.
  179. If the minor does not “confess”, they are lying. Threat them and maybe they will say the truth. It’s for their own good.
  180. The treatment given to the minor by the police may traumatize them.
  181. Judges, police, therapists, parents, no one wants to know what the child thinks about those contacts. See, for example, the psychologist who killed their patient.
  182. Pedophilia is a romantic, sometimes sexual, attraction to children. Pederasty is the act of an adult who has sexual relations with a boy.
  183. All of the problems exposed in chapter three would be avoided if we didn’t presume that the pedophile is someone who will inevitably do harm to a child or if we didn’t presume that the minor in an relationship with an adult is necessarely a victim.
  184. The author says that there’s no medical term to designate a child who feels sexually attracted to adults. He wrote his book in the eighties. Nowadays, there’s one word: “teleiophile”. Though teleiophile also apply to adult-attracted adults.
  185. Considering that a child is capable to display sexuality in unpredicable forms, maybe labelling a child’s sexuality is a futile effort.
  186. Hebephilia and ephebophilia aren’t pedophilia.

  187. There are women who feel sexual arousal when breast-feeding.

  188. Is it worth it to separate minor-attracted people in cathegories such as: minor, adult, nepiophile, pedophile, hebephile, ephebophile, teleiophile, pro-contact, anti-contact, exclusive, inclusive? The question is: won’t their similarities outweight their differences, to the point of making it viable to use a term to designate them generally (albeit with some reservations)?
  189. Most people who are arrested in child sexual abuse charges are not pedophiles.
  190. The use of legal samples in researches about pedophilia is practically useless.
  191. Out of all pedophiles who really are pedophiles, that is, who have romantic feelings towards the minor, only one percent is ever arrested, according to the book. It’s helped by the fact that you don’t hurt when you are in love. So, a lot of pedophiles prefer to abstain than taking the risk of violent rupture by the police, which could harm the minor or stigmatize them. For the RBT trio, that number is something around 25%.
  192. That shows that age of consent laws not only may harm the minor, but also are of little use to keep relationships from happening before certain age. If the minor enjoys it, they will behave normally and the parents may even not notice. How to report something you can not detect? Plus, if the child is really being abused, their behavior will change evidently, the parents would know and investigate. Isn’t it the sane option to punish only negative contacts?
  193. But wait: if a lot of pedophiles aren’t ever punished and most arrested abusers aren’t pedophiles, who are the people who are being punished by the law? Parents, maybe?
  194. You just need to be unlucky to be arrested for statutory rape. You don’t even need to have commited statutory rape.
  195. The number of crimes exceed the law’s capacity to deal with them. See our Senate.
  196. You don’t need to be a pedophile to see no problem with those relationships, if the minor wants them and doesn’t suffer as consequence.
  197. The police can manipulate a sentence.
  198. In the eighties, many adults would doctrinate their eight or nine-year-old girls to see their life purpose as living in function of men.
  199. There was little study on positive relationships.
  200. Media plays it’s role in censoring those positive accounts, through means of selective information. I call it “passive censorship”. You don’t keep people from seeing it, but never speaks about it’s existence, só they don’t look for it.
  201. Some forms of censorship are done under the guise of protection the population against “disturbing content”. Gotta be strong, indeed! That’s why people don’t make documentaries on animal killing sites (where you get your chicken from), unless it’s done by an independent team.
  202. Projects about positive sexual experiences between adults and minors still happen. Titus Rivas’ “Positive Memories”, for example, still receives new experiences, which may or not appear in the next edition of his book (the latest edition is from 2016). And there’s also this, though this one ended.
  203. A number of children grow up without knowing what is pedophilia. They may hear the word, but not know what that means.
  204. A pedophile in a relationship with a child, taking all care só that the child likes it, feels good and don’t suffer may still think: “other pedophiles probably wouldn’t act like I do, my relationship is an exception, só we shouldn’t allow all of those relationships, they must remain illegal.” So, he approves his own relationship and condemns all others, even if he doesn’t know how others act. It’s classic case of nurturing prejudice against your own kind. Why don’t you do some research?
  205. A person who is friends with a pedophile and knows that the pedophile wouldn’t hurt a child, even by getting involved with the tyke, could still ask: “and what about the other pedophiles, would they be as kind as you are?” But the author says that you can’t talk about what you don’t know. If I don’t know how others act, how can I presume that they are less scrupulous?
  206. It’s true that some minors grow up and see those experiences as negative, just like that are some who grow up and see those experiences as positive. But a topic that is seldom discussed is how those minors see the arrest, if the adult happens to be arrested. There are minors who find it unfair, like that boy with a weird name. Effectively, some grow up and ask the judge to reconsider.
  207. Minors who had positive relationships may grow up and not think it’s wrong for their own children to have contacts with adults.
  208. Those relationships aren’t purely sexual. There are caring and romantic elements.
  209. In positive relationships, the minors do not experience fear.
  210. Puberty is an uncomfortable experience for some adolescents, but others see in it a reason to take pride.
  211. A minor may assume seductive behavior and only notice that they were being seductive after growing up and recalling the experience.
  212. An opinion among minors who had positive relationships: the adult must respect the limits imposed by the minor. It reflects in the responsible boy love morals and in Rivas’ ethic criteria.
  213. “But enjailed pedophiles admit that those relationships were abusive”, says the critics. To which the author replies: “my child, anyone can say anything to lower the number of years they still must spend in prison.” If a false confession can make things easier for them, they will confess whatever.
  214. Can a child reciprocate love, specially if erotic? The belief that no, a child can not, is what makes a number of pedophiles feel that any expression of erotic love towards an “innocent” child is automatically predatory. That sensation of affection unbalance makes the pedophile deny himself.
  215. So, the anti-contact movement didn’t begin now. It’s way older than Virtuous Pedophiles.
  216. There are people who wake up to sexuality during childhood and people who wake up to sexuality only in adulthood.
  217. In a adult/minor relationship, the minor (as long as not forced) ends up feeling like he has the same authority as the adult. The sensation of authority subversion may confuse the adult. “I’m either abusing of my power or the kid has as much power as I do.” It looks wrong in both ways: in the first case, there’s abuse of power; in the second case, there’s a subversion of the hierarchy between adult and minor.
  218. Anedoctal evidence shows that a child can love an adult more than said adult loves the child.
  219. The minor, says the author, can benefit from that intimacy more than the adult.
  220. For some people, love and affection are different things.
  221. A machist belief is that women do not have an own sexuality, that their sexuality must be awaken by a man. That myth is similar to the belief that children do not have sexuality and, if a child shows interest, that’s because the kid was corrupted by an adult.
  222. That belief makes the misinformed person think that lesbians do not exist. Analogically, that same person may think that sexuality begins at puberty, which is not true.
  223. A lesbian can go her whole life without noticing that what she feels towards other women is sexual.
  224. Because women are stimulated to take care of their children and love them and take care of their intimate parts, a pedophile woman may think “I can’t be a pedophile, other women do those same things, they must get the same feelings, I’m just being a mother.” A woman who is sexually attracted to her children goes almost unnoticed, because there’s not a lot of difference between the female pedophile behavior and the normal female behavior.
  225. Is it really needed to separate loving acts in “sexual” and “non-sexual”?
  226. An act may be sexual, done to a child and still be beneficial. If a mother feels sexual pleasure when caring for her child, that care is sexual. But would the child grow better without such care? If a woman stopped changing her baby’s diapers or stopped bathing him because his nudity arouses her, would it do any good to the child?
  227. If an act is sexual or not, does it make any difference, from the minor’s point of view?
  228. There are people who think that female pedopiles do not exist.
  229. That’s because people think that pedophiles rape. So, a woman, with people thinking she is less inclined to rape, isn’t accused of pedophilia, despite having the condition and despite being sexually involved with a minor. As long as it’s not penetrative, she’s pretty “safe”. Double-safe if she’s a girl lover. But, hey, don’t go around breaking laws, that would still be illegal!
  230. A person may be homosexual and adopt a “heterosexual life style”. In that case, she acts heterosexually due to social pressure, not because of natural inclination.

  231. Bibliographic reference: Paedophilia: The Consequences for the Child.
  232. Aversion therapy is horrible and doesn’t work. You come out worse than when you came in.

  233. If on one hand some experts admit that adult/child intimacy can be beneficial to both, those same experts, on the other hand, still think it shouldn’t be allowed, even in presence of benefit. For an example, see “What’s Wrong With Adult-Child Sex?”, by David Finkelhor.
  234. Critics of the movement say that pedophiles who defend those relationships are seeing the child as someone who only needs pleasure, ignoring that they also need fun, education and non-sexual forms of intimacy. But the author says that those things are complementary, not mutually excludent.

  235. Critics of the movement say that pedophiles who defend those relationships are seeing the child as someone who only needs pleasure, ignoring that they also need fun, education and non-sexual forms of intimacy. But the author says that those things are complementary, not mutually excludent.

  236. Adults, for example, have an expressive sexual life, compared to the child, and that doesn’t keep adults from improving their education, having fun or nurturing non-sexual forms of intimacy. From which we draw that sexuality isn’t inimical to human improvement.
  237. Is there medical evidence that adult/minor relationships are more harmful to the involved parties than adult/adult relationships, if said relationships are painless, uncoerced, desired by the minor and approved by the parents?
  238. What’s the point of restraining child sexual expression?

  239. There seems to have no mental or physical reason for that, only social. But if there’s benefit and all harm comes from society, then it’s society who needs to change, when it comes to child sexual expression.
  240. The author says that he would get sympathy from the most hostile readers if he wrote more about love. He should have done that; all this talk about sex is making me queasy. Does he have a book solely about love?

  241. He didn’t write more about love because that could reinforce the sensation that love and eroticism are opposing forces.
  242. The opposition between love and erotism can give birth to serious interpersonal problems. Let’s suppose that you “love that chick só much” that you would “never have sex with her”. John Money argues that, in doing that, the man will look for “less valuable” women to satisfy himself, in order to carry a chaste relationship with the girl he really likes. Does that make any sense? That’s why some men regularly have intercourse with prostitutes; they are too embarrassed in front of the women they really like to actually have sex with them.
  243. Child sexual repression benefits psychiatric industry.
  244. Sexual repression doesn’t end in childhood. It goes on. That’s why the sexual life of some couples can be a disaster, when either party has moral problems or doesn’t know what to do.
  245. A example of such is the woman who finds it difficult to achieve orgasm.
  246. Another example of the association between sex and guilt is the man who feels like he needs to do an excellent job. He becomes obsessed with penis size, how long he can remain erect, if he can or not control ejaculation. Sex then becomes a source of anxiety, rather than pleasure.

  247. So, childhood sexual repression may even cause impotence in adult life. The person didn’t want to like sex and then, at the time it was needed to like it, could not find any pleasure in it.
  248. Yates blames the parents for that.

  249. Child sexual repression can harm school grades. If a child had freedom to express and explore his sexuality, as long as he didn’t offend legal boundries, many children wouldn’t need therapy. Remember how sexual repression can harm adults. Why would it be different with children?
  250. Sexual therapy consists in introducing the adult to sexual practices that he was supposed to have practiced in childhood, not unlike playing doctor or self-fondling.
  251. Don’t you tell me that you never did anything “naughty” when you were a kid.
  252. Sexual repression may lead to sexualization of things that aren’t sexual in nature. Fetishes.
  253. Even though fetishes may also appear due to intense exposition to some object during childhood, such as diaper fetish or my omorashi fetish.
  254. There’s a difference between sexual aberration (atypical, but harmless sexual behavior, such as foot fetish and paraphillic infantilism) and sexual perversion (atypical and harmful sexual behavior, such as sexual murder and rape).
  255. The pedophile who wrote this book says that pedophilia isn’t better than any other sexual deviance not motivated by desire to hurt. He is doing the opposite of what homosexuals did to pedophiles who took part in the gay liberation movement, back in seventies and eighties. When the american congress said that it would take the homosexual exigences seriously if they cut connections with pedophilia advocacy organizations, homosexuals promptly did só, trying to gain public approval by buying the discourse that pedophilia is bad. The younger gay people, who are unaware of the LGBT movement’s history, ignore that fact, but, yes, there was a time when the gay liberation movement and the pedophile movement were almost the same thing. The gay liberation pathriarcs didn’t see intergenerational relationships as morally wrong.
  256. What if a sadist, who has a desire to hurt, marries a masochist, who has a desire to be hurt? Well, good for them, I hope you guys are happy.
  257. The only wrong relationships are the forced ones.
  258. Lack of loving tactile stimulation is associated to violent behavior in adulthood. Hug your son.
  259. “Prescott’s work throws an interesting light on the common assumption that sex and violence always go together, an inseparable double act, like Laurel and Hardy.” That’s the weirdest metaphor for this kind of discussion.

  260. A person’s sexual attitude depends on how she’s sexually educated in childhood. If a child associated sexuality with gentleness, warmth and affection, she will demonstrate her sexuality that way. If the child associated sexuality with guilt, she will push sexuality away. If she associated sexuality with violence, at same time she associates violence with power… Well, you got his point.
  261. If the solution for violent behavior was sexual repression, christian societies should have less cases of rape than indigenous societies, where we see less repression. In fact, many extremely violent people are also extremely sexually conservative.

  262. The four preceding chapters were about child sexuality, how people think that adult/child relationships work, how they really work and the child’s need for sexual expression. Now, how should the law deal with those things?

  263. Society keeps denying that children are sexual beings. Seven-year-old boys watching porn? No, that’s an isolated case. Twelve-year-old girls sharing nudes? Ah, that’s an education problem… Students hinting at teachers? That’s what the left wants you to think, boy! If we keep ignoring child sexuality, laws will continue to behave erratically.

  264. The damage in a positive relationship can only be social. Positive, not talking about rape.
  265. A number of people, including pedophiles, are against legalization because they see it as utopic. The author’s goal in the sixth chapter is to propose a realistic way to deal both in intergenerational relationships and child sexuality.
  266. Many laws made to protect women were grounded on the belief that they are the weaker gender. Consequently, those laws, that kept the woman from working in certain areas, ended up restricting their access to jobs that they actually were capable of taking. A law is unjust if based on prejudice.
  267. That kind of law doesn’t protect, but submits.
  268. In name of “protection”, the child isn’t heard. Doesn’t matter if the child likes the adult or if she doesn’t feel harmed; it’s wrong, period. That’s also the behavior of some children’s right advocates. They take away your freedom and put it in the hands of authorities. Can any good thing come out of that? Would you put your freedom in the hands of an authority? Is that protection?
  269. If social services can not convince you that it’s needed to punish the adult, sucks for you, bro. Doesn’t matter if you are the boy’s father, you are wrong if you say that the adult in a relationship with your child, even if it’s a trusted adult, doesn’t need to be punished. You, father, doesn’t know what is best for your child.
  270. “If you don’t plead guilty, we will continue bringing your little crush here, to another forensic exam, another interrogatory, he will skip another day of school, his friends will treat him differently, his relationship with his parents will continue deteriorating, and, in the end, it’s really all your fault, even the boy desired that, even if he responded well, because he is actually sad, he just doesn’t know that yet.”

  271. The author’s main proposal is age of consent abolishment. Normally, that means that minors would be under the same protections of the normal rape laws (article 217 in the Brazilian Penal Code, for example).

  272. At the time when the book was written, Holland was considering age of consent abolishment. So, no, pedophiles aren’t the only people who defend that kind of thing and aren’t the only people who see problems in forbidding relationships based on age.
  273. The main defenders of such idea were the attorneys. They claimed that there’s sex (coitus) and sexual activity. Sexual activities shouldn’t be banned based on age, but penetrative sex should remain forbidden, if the passive party was younger than 12.
  274. Protestant associations also wanted the end of age of consent, but with one reservation: neither party can seduce the other; the desire had to be spontaneous in both. Catholic associations also said, back in the author’s context, that a 12-year-old can already give a final say about the relationships he takes part in.
  275. A common criticism: kids can’t consent betcause they can not say “no” a bigger, stronger adult. For a reply, see Positive Memories.
  276. Consent is a philosophical question. If it was scientific, age of consent could be the same everywhere.
  277. If the minor says no or is ambiguous, any sexual advance should be crime.
  278. The law should worry about damage and quality of the consent, rather than age of the participants. The fact that someone is under 14 (age of consent in Brazil) doesn’t imply that he’s always raped whenever he engages in sexual activity with anyone.
  279. Even if a minor can consider an act as pleasurable, that doesn’t imply that he is capable of communicating that in a decent manner.

  280. No one here wants “freedom to rape.”
  281. In some places, the age of criminal responsibility is twelve or even ten (it’s sixteen or eighteen in Brazil, I really don’t remember). So, if a person can be criminally prosecuted by her acts if she’s at least twelve, it’s because she’s mature enough to plan and act according to an evil intention. So, it makes no sense that a person who is mature enough to pay for muggery or murder be deemed immature for sexual activity.

  282. The debate gravitates the question “can the child say ‘yes’ and, if she can, is that ‘yes’ valid?”
  283. A relationships that is harmless, uncoerced, desired by the minor and approved by the parents should be allowed to continue.

  284. Those relationships do not always pose a “moral danger”.
  285. In the case of relationships between two minors, laws should be even softer.
  286. With some modification, those proposed laws can also apply to people who have mental problems and, because of that, are under care of someone eles.
  287. If the proposed conditions were violated, anyone could report the relationship. The prosecution process doesn’t need to be started by the parents.
  288. What validates age of consent is the consent, not the age. The consent takes priority.
  289. Damage of risk of damage should still be crime. Example: penetrating a girl who is simple too small is too risky to be allowed, but the same doesn’t apply to fondling. So, depending on the act and the minors physical constitution, the judge can punish a consented relationship. If there’s real damage, we can skip that part and enjail the adult immediately. For a similar conclusion, see my text Estupro de Vulnerável, in the section “Is It Possible to Consent to Harm?”.
  290. If the relationships is chaste, there’s no need to punish a rape, obviously. Even though there’s lots of women out there who pretend to have been raped and people buy into her story.
  291. People reject pedophiles without listening to them first. How can a debate be impartial if you don’t give the dude a chance to defend himself and his point of view?
  292. Nepiophile relationships (that is, with babies) would still be prohibited, even if entirely superficial and non-penetrative, not because we suppose that the baby dislikes it, but because it’s not possible to prove that he liked it either.
  293. However, there’s no need to report it, if the person who sees it notices that the baby is happy, says the author.
  294. But how can implement such changes, if kids don’t know what they getting themselves into? Well, the book was written in the eighties and we have sexual education lessons today. This generation is more sexually informed than the previous.
  295. The problem is that saying that a child doesn’t know what they are doing supposes that all sexual acts are the same. If a child is well-informed for a hug or handshake, that doesn’t imply that she’s informed to anything penetrative, but wouldn’t she be well-informed for fondling, which is friction between two skins, just like a hug or hand shake?
  296. Back when the book was writen, there was different ages of consent for heterosexuals (16) and homosexuals (21).
  297. The law treats a five-year-old like a twelve-year-old.
  298. “Those relationships are still immoral!” Define “moral”.
  299. When those proposals were made by the Paedophile Information Exchange, they got some support from lawyers.
  300. As harmful relationships would still be punished, even if consented, the responsible adult would abstain from any penetrative act.
  301. But, if 95% of pedophiles don’t want anything penetrative, while penetration is a common trait of negative relationships, shouldn’t we have an age of consent at least for penetration? There should be a minimal age for penetration as safety measure, says the author. And he says that such age is 12. So, if we were to apply that in Brazilian law, taking the article 217-A as reference, the law would be like “penetration with person under age 12, with or without consent, or libidinous act that wasn’t approved by the minor or the minor’s parents” should be crime. If we could make things flexible for conservatives, an age of consent that only applies to penetration could be higher than 14, as it wouldn’t include fondling, kissing or anything non-penetrative. Ideally, I think that an age of consent for penetration should be subject for debate in prefectures, rather than being applied nationwide.
  302. There’s a lot, a lot, of minors who do not give a flip about age of consent laws. In United States, a number of young people lose their virginity before age 15, while age of consent in United States can only be as low as 16. In the documentary “Age of Consent: Dream or Nightmare?” (thank you, Hikari), the first thing the interviewees say is that “adolescents reach age 14 with a fully developed sexual life in Brazil.” Did all those minors suffer? Maybe they would suffer more if all those relationships were found out and punished by justice. The number of minors who offend against age of consent laws is something around 1/5 of the whole population of people under 16.
  303. Sexual education can sometimes be reduced to biology: they teach you what each part of your little body do. But, as adults think that the minors would be discouraged from trying it if they remain uninformed, they teach nothing about contraception or sexually-transmitted diseases, because the more conservative see it as an encouragement to have sex. I learned those things at age 6 with my father and I had sexual education lessons in 3rd grade, if I’m not mistaken, and here I am, virgin at twenty-five. The state needs to be honest with itself: “if they are going to do it anyway, they could at least do it without screwing themselves for life.” Maybe learning that there’s a real risk discourages them. If not, they will at least do it more responsibly.
  304. Trying to suppress child sexuality to keep the kid away from trouble is like recommending celibate to an adult to keep him from getting a STD. It’s drastic, unnecessary and uncomfortable.
  305. If a teen gets a STD, he might think: “this proves that I’m no longer virgin, I may get in trouble if someone knows.” He then hides the fact that he is ill, until it’s too late.
  306. That could be fixed if child sexuality wasn’t practically illegal. Because most displays of sexuality under age 14, as “libidinous acts”, are outlawed as statutory rape.
  307. If a pedophile feels attracted to pre-pubescent minors, while his desire is rarely penetrative, then adults seldom impregnate minors. In fact, teenage pregnancy seems to be a more common occurence in young couples, rather than intergenerational couples. The attraction to pubescent minors is called hebephilia.
  308. Wow, there’s a case of a woman who got pregnant after having intercourse with a 12-year-old boy and filed “a suit for the maintenance of her child”. Cruel.

  309. In fact, how come that woman wasn’t arrested for statutory rape? Women can, but men can not? Talk about isonomy. Of course, that wouldn’t happen in Brazil, because a 12-year-old boy can not be held legally responsible for his acts. But such thing can happen in a place where age of legal responsibility is lower than age of consent.
  310. With or without age of consent, teenage pregnancy won’t disappear without decent sexual education lessons.
  311. The declaration of the rights of the child, by UN, implies the state and parental control exercised over the child is always done in the kid’s best interests. Chapter seven wants to know to what extent that’s true.

  312. Many times, the child can make a good decision without her parents or the state. Maybe a choice made by parents or state ends up being worse than a choice that the child could have done herself in the same situation. Not to mention the cases in which parents and state cause harm to the child on purpose.

  313. The child’s fragility has been used as excuse to not grant the kid’s rights.
  314. There’s a lot of similarities between older children and adults.

  315. If a child commits a criminal offense, maybe they are just “having trouble growing up”. In such case, the parents could deal with it better than the law, which should be a last resort.
  316. The conflict between parental authority and state authority can not be solved by simply expanding parental authority.
  317. “That man is crazy; a kid never knows what is good for himself!” What about the cases in which the child is legally forced to stay with a foster parent that is up to beating her to death after a divorce? The child says “I don’t want to stay with her, cause she beats me up”, but state says “your mom and your dad decide that for you, because it’s their right and it’s my duty to ensure that everyone has access to their rights.” Everyone, but you, tyke.
  318. The natural mother is not always the best available mother.
  319. Is the author suggesting that kids should have same rights as adults? No, but some key rights are needed. For example, a child should have the right to choose with which parent he wants to stay with in the case of divorce, but that doesn’t mean that the kid should also have the right to vote, for example.
  320. Childhood is a relatively new thing. Such concept didn’t always exist. “Childhood” only began to exist in 17th Century. How things used to be before that?
  321. Before 17th Century, adults has some sexual play with children, such as touching their genitals, not very different from brazilian parents before 2009.
  322. If a child is an asexual being, why do conservative parents feel the need to punish a kid’s masturbation? If children are asexual, why do they masturbate? From which we draw that the childhood “innocence”, that is, child asexuality is not natural. Child are sexual beings.
  323. How to conciliate child purity with child corruptibility? If she’s pure, how can she corrupt itself?
  324. We see children differently today, but the way we see them now isn’t the correct way. We are judging children for what we feel they should be, not for what they actually are.
  325. Were all the historical adult/child relationships abusive?
  326. The child’s potential is limited only by social expectations.
  327. Indigenous children mature quicker in terms of responsibility and physical aptitude. Why not ours? Our society doesn’t want the child to mature before eighteen. They deny that children are made to mature and have different paces of development. “You are too young to know what you want.”
  328. It’s obvious that it has roots in the capitalistic system: the child needs to study to have a good job and, to do só, she needs protection. But society, presuming that children know nothing, overprotects the kid, which effectively keeps them from learning any adult thing (supposing that they don’t find out themselves). That overprotection hinders the kid’s development, which will have a consequence in adult life.
  329. If the child can not have a job, she should at least help on household chores.
  330. Our society keeps children as children, forgetting that they are soon-to-be adults.
  331. Parents don’t want children helping them at their jobs.
  332. There are three options for the growing child: neglect studies and work earlier, persevere in studies and work later, or juggle job and studies at same time.
  333. The child receives a fate, rather than making one.
  334. The child, says the author, should have the right to choose his or her parents. In practice, that should happen by granting them the right to run away from home and put themselves for adoption.
  335. It’s madness to advocate that, unless the nuclear family faces crisis.
  336. If we lived in a huge community, like a huge family (communal upbringing), instead of small families, raising a child would be easier to the natural parents and the kid could look for an adult that he or she loved more, with whom they could better develop their potential. It was like that in Middle Age, am I right?
  337. The children’s rights revolution does not have public education as starting point.
  338. Hippie communities, in the ’60s, gave complete sexual freedom to children… but also freedom to use drugs, to play with loaded guns and to skip classes if they wanted to, which made kids grow up illiterate. So, says the author, we must not mistake children’s rights with child irresponsibility. Which rights to give?
  339. The hippie movement had a lot of stuff that worked well, but we don’t hear much about it. We only remember hippies as high naked people.
  340. For example, hippie children were almost independent, they almost didn’t need from parents to do anything.

  341. Children who are given a lot of freedom just “deal with it”. Maybe the lack of ability to deal with adulthood that some adults feel has roots in overprotection in childhood.
  342. The author regrets not having children of his own. Of course.
  343. We fear anarchy.
  344. Adults are educated to educate.
  345. “Today, I take care of your child and you take care of mine.” Hey, that’s pretty good.
  346. We won’t know what rights to give to our children if we don’t think about what kind of adult we want them to be, even if they grow up and reject our model. The way we raise children is making them ill. Rethinking that upbringing requires us to rethink our expectations for children.
  347. Even if parents have privileges over the children, the roles can revert in certain occasions if such is needed for the well-being of the family members.
  348. Each family member must have responsibilities and privileges. The child isn’t a slave.
  349. A person’s rights aren’t inherent to their role in family.
  350. The child’s rights must not interfere with the father’s rights. A right can only be granted to a minor if the minor wouldn’t end up ruining himself by abusing of that right.
  351. Parents make mistakes, meaning that their law is fallible. So, a parent’s demand must harbor a degree of flexibility, if it becomes clear that his demands are going against the family’s best interest.
  352. If the child wants something that may do her harm, but won’t hurt her, make her ill or kill her, allow her to have it and feel the consequences. For example: staying up late despite having to go to school early next day. The boy will feel tired and will notice that the father’s orders do make sense. That builds trust.
  353. Parents have the duty to tend to the minor if the demand if just.

  354. A person can decide about his or herself and his or her conduct as long at it doesn’t interfere with the decisions and conduct of others. I believe that the child’s rights are limited by the parents’ responsibility to look after the kid.
  355. Everyone should be equally free (what I can’t do, you also can not), but one’s advantages should be used to diminish the disadvantage of someone eles.
  356. The child’s participation in society must increase according to the child’s development. There’s no need to leave all rights and duties for adulthood.
  357. To participate in society, one must have a sense of fairness, even if not fully developed.
  358. A child has adult abilities, but in lesser scale. The kid’s is often smarter than we think.
  359. You can only interfere with a child’s behavior if the kid gives you some proof that your intervention is needed, or eles the kid is going to regret it. A type of non-intrusive education like that already exists on Emílio (Rousseau), but not like that.
  360. “The child is incapable, that’s why they can’t have rights!” Prove that they are incapable.
  361. Do you worry about what the kids want or do you always act despite children’s aims and aspirations?

  362. It’s not a matter of always doing what the child wants, but to take their opinion in consideration.

  363. But how does this whole discussion contributes to the field of child sexuality? It’s because libidinous acts, specially if non-penetrative, are generally harmless and we worry too much about them. There are other, more important areas of child behavior that do not receive the same attention, despite being more controversial in nature.
  364. “Our strong taboo about adult-child sex has led to the application of the most severe penalties to even the most innocent acts of affection. The penalty isn’t appropriate to the crime and probably neither cures nor deters. We can and should decriminalize sexual relations between consenting people. Assault and kidnapping laws already on the books would cover the cases which involve force, abduction or abuse. The remaining cases are better dealt with by improved sex education, enlightened sexual attitudes, and an increased respect for children’s rights.” – Richard Farson.
  365. The child must have the right to refuse those relations. But, to do só, the kid must be educated to say “no” when they don’t want it. My nephew is pretty unruly, I think he would learn quick. In fact, he is a twelve-year-old, 1,75m-tall, weights 67kg and attends to muay thai lessons, while I’m a 25-year-old, 1,72m-tall, weight 58kg and had some karate lessons when I was a teen. If he, by any chance, decided to force me, I think I would have trouble saying no to such a war tank. If he punched me, I would be ripped in half.
  366. How will the tyke give informed consent if we don’t inform him?
  367. Sex shame helps to hide sexual abuse.
  368. What really keeps a pedophile from acting according to their sexuality isn’t the law (which doesn’t catch him most of the times, as previously seen and currently confirmed by studies such as the Rind Report), but the fear of being rejected by the child. If the pedophile really falls in love with the child, doing something that could disturb the tyke would make the pedophile feel guilty, even if the pedophile was never arrested.
  369. The child’s body can, metaphorically, say “no” as well: you wouldn’t do any penetration to a five-year-old girl, right? That would traumatize her.
  370. Gender roles are an attempt at suppressing homosexuality.
  371. It’s unhealthy that society is só obsessed with being “normal”.
  372. The fear that people feel upon hearing that two men or two women are raising a child isn’t a fear that the adults may be irresponsible or that the child will grow up unhappy, but a fear that the child won’t adhere to the desired stereotype.
  373. How is the sexual life of someone who doesn’t get sexually involved with anyone? There are not many studies about that.
  374. The child who lives with a single parent may feel socially pressured. When the teacher says “draw your family”, the child may draw a father and a mother just because that’s what everyone eles is drawing.
  375. Sexual education is incomplete.
  376. Parents who care too much about minimal dangers end up neglecting important things that they were supposed to teach to their child.
  377. When will you teach your daughter about contraception? After she’s pregnant?
  378. Nuclear family isn’t ideal.
  379. The Paedophile Information Exchange protagonized campaigns for corporal punishment abolishment in schools. I bet you didn’t know that.
  380. Nuclear family is just the traditional form of family. There are alternative family structures.

  381. The Declaration of the Rights of the Child silences about the child’s right of sexual expression. So, some people from United States proposed that the child should have eight rights related to sexuality: legal protection, control over his or her own body, sexual information, emotional growth, sensual pleasure, learning about love, choice of partner, protection against sexual suppression.
  382. Chapter is eight is maybe the most relevant today, as it’s about consent. For some schoolars, the consent issue is the only thing on which the status of illegality of adult-child sex is grounded.
  383. Consent is only valid if:

    1. the minor is aware of short and long-term consequences;

    2. the minor knows what he wants and from who he wants;

    3. the minor can refuse if desired.

  384. If someone had the feeling that there are children who fulfill all three criteria, they would promptly come up with a fourth.
  385. There are adults in good physical and mental condition who do not fulfill all requirements for consent. So, coming up with a fourth element could harm the impartiality of a debate or, at least, could harm the notion of informed consent between adults.

  386. The actual problem that children have and adults do not is the third element. Can a child, being smaller and weaker, say no?
  387. And what about the child’s willingness to participate (taking in consideration that such thing happens)?

  388. Non-penetrative relationships are harmless: a child who is informed enough to receive a hug or handshake, is informed for a kiss or fondling, even if intimate. In the end, it’s just the contact between two skins, no more than that. Where are those “consequences”?

  389. Non-penetrative relationships, if done in mutual agreement, are way less dangerous than walking on a busy road or going out at night in the city I live in (the chance of you being murdered is higher than the chance being mugged here). And I see kids doing those all the time. Remember that 12-year-old boy who underwent hormone therapy to look like a girl? He regretted it. And went through surgery to remove the breasts he developed. Good thing he didn’t remove his dink, huh? The point is, no one complains about kids doing things that are way more dangerous than being intimate of the adults they like.

  390. The greater risk in consenting relationships is the social stigma. If found out, the child may be traumatized thanks to the reaction of parents, authorities or social services. It’s important to remember that we are now discussing relationships in which the minor desires to take part in or those that are initiated by the minor. The author isn’t saying that rape is alright.
  391. But if a positive human relationship deserve protection, it’s not the relationship that is wrong, but the social attitude towards it. To forbid those relationships is like sayd that homosexuality must be repressed “in the homosexual’s best interest”, that is, because society is full of homophobes. “We don’t want the homosexual to suffer, só we should keep them from acting according to their sexuality because, even if they don’t suffer from the relationships alone, they will suffer because of homophobia.” Doesn’t that sound absurd?
  392. The real damage of those relationships do not justify age of consent laws, nor the use of documents to prove consent.
  393. If the child says no, carrying on is illegal. If the child appears to be ambiguous or doubtful, it should also be illegal. Maybe is no.
  394. Currently, even if the child fulfills the three requisites, it’s still illegal.
  395. Is it interesting that the only time when we speak about kid consent is sex, and only to say that they can never consent? Can a child give informed consent in having faith? Nonetheless, religion is forced upon the child by the parents.
  396. An indigenous child who was initiated into sexuality may be seen as corrupted, but a child who learns to be fanatical about a soccer team or about a religious doctrine isn’t seen as corrupted.
  397. That happens because that kind of manipulation is seen as positive. Given the harmlessness of sexuality, why can’t sexual initiation also be seen as positive?
  398. If there was one religion that celebrated such behavior, it would quickly become a matter of serious state deliberation.
  399. Religious doctrination brings more risks to the minor than a relationship with an adult who loves the minor.
  400. Adult/minor relationships won’t necessarely include manipulation. Adult/adult relationships aren’t necessarely free from manipulation.
  401. There are minors who spend sincere effort into manipulating an adult.
  402. Maybe you are already “initiated”, but doesn’t remember só.
  403. You can speak about positive relationships and the person you are talking to may rush to say it’s a lie, as if positive outcomes never happened. That’s the case of therapists who “explain” a minor’s experience giving it a negative meaning.
  404. “Infantophile” = nepiophile.

  405. Some people will never be convinced, no matter the evidence.
  406. You can’t kiss a child. Many parents prefer to hit the kid instead.
  407. It’s easier to suffer a trauma thanks to a parent who punishes your sexuality than thanks to an adult who showed you how it’s done. Before going on, I must remind you that those relationships are illegal and it would be unethical to have them.
  408. Manipulation doesn’t work if the target doesn’t want to be manipulated. The target must stay open to the manipulator and judge if they are worth trust.
  409. Encouragement is a kind of manipulation.
  410. To throw a child in a pool in hopes of making the kid learn to swim the hard way can be as traumatic as a rape and, as long as the kid doesn’t drown, it won’t be seen as criminal offense.

  411. If the act is harmless, uncoerced, desired by the minor and approved by the parents, what’s the need of police intervention?
  412. If the minor says no, a “real” pedophile would accept the no. That rings a bell!
  413. If you are twelve, you already know when a person wants something sexual from you. The minor’s understanding of things grows up with him. A 12-year-old isn’t as naïve as a 6-year-old, that is, if naïve children still exist.
  414. For a pedophile, sexuality is a secondary element; his relationship with children may be completely chaste.
  415. If something is education or “child grooming”, depends on the culture.
  416. The word “seduction” (sedução), in English and Dutch, has a negative charge. Strange. It doesn’t have a negative charge in Portuguese…
  417. Supposing that seduction didn’t exist, that is, if there was no request, no deliberate attraction, the “hey, I’m here, existing”, the hinting at, how the flip would our relationships even begin?
  418. Attraction between adults and adolescents (hebephilia or ephebophilia, when the adult feels attracted, or teleiophilia, when it’s the adolescent who feels attracted to the adult) is more common and is not seen as abnormal. Nonetheless, it may be illegal. In Brazil, where age of consent is 14, ephebophilia meets no legal barriers, nor hebephilia, as long as the pubescent is at least 14.
  419. A lot of adults adults do bribe, manipulate and force children for their own good, such as taking preventive shots against whatever illness. The author here is implying that the disgust towards sexual “manipulation” is only possible if the person sees sex as negative. Precocious sex is negative, which makes sexual manipulation negative. If society had less sex shame, it wouldn’t be like that, as the child has their will bent all the time anyway. The difference is that the pedophile doesn’t force the minor. So, if the pedophile can not get a “yes” from the child, unless he is a rapist, he will give up. Here, talking about positive relationships; manipulation for sake of sex alone is still bad.
  420. The minor’s “yes” and “no” must have legal support.
  421. Semantically, “consent” is the approval of an act that involves the consenting person. Any law that imposes a limitation to one’s freedom must do só for a good reason. So, if a law criminalized a large number of consented activities, it’s the law that must offer a justification for the criminalization, as it’s interfering with a large number of particular contracts that are freely stablished. In such conditions, law must be reexamined.
  422. “Puberty” is not “pubescence”. Puberty is a moment in an adolescent’s life when he becomes capable of procreation. Pubescnece is the development of secondary sexual characteristics (fur, breasts, muscle mass and só on).
  423. Puberty doesn’t come at the same age for everyone.
  424. Another completely different concept is “adolescence”: the stage between childhood and adulthood.
  425. It’s possible to reach age 18 without the required mental setup to act like an adult.
  426. “Adolescence” is an extremely vague concept. In fact, it’s a social construct, just like childhood.
  427. The cases of “adolescent crisis” are also caused by lack of information concerning the changes that happen in the body and mind during that stage of life. What makes an adolescent crisis is the number of questions that are yet to find an answer.
  428. There are societies without adolescent crisis.
  429. That also happens because child sexually is not repressed. Children as spontenous in their expressions of sexuality. That makes it much easier for kids to learn about sexuality. You just have to remember how curious they are about their own bodies and the bodies of others. If they had the answers they are looking for, they would grow as more well-balanced adolescents.
  430. Critics say that a relationship between an adult and a minor is still unequal, even if consent was granted. Those who read Positive Memories know, however, than an adult who loves the minor won’t use physical power to submit the minor, while the minor can benefit from the adult’s experience and wisdom.
  431. The main proponents of such argument are the feminists.
  432. However, a number of relationships between adults are also unequal, in the grounds of physical power, life experience or wealth.
  433. It’s harder for a minor to ruin himself in a relationship with an adult than in a relationship with another minor. Talking about “relationship”, not rape.
  434. Not all women, however, even when feminist, think that adult/minor relationships are necessarely bad.
  435. Parenting relationships is unequal, but a lot of good stuff comes out of a chaste parent/child relationship. From which we draw that power disparity isn’t a good reason for the existence of age of consent laws. The same can be said from educational relationships (teacher and student).
  436. There are parents who oppress their children.
  437. The mother’s control over the child, even when the child becomes an adult, is a common cultural phenomenon in the West. She never stops seeing her child as her “baby”. Well, that depends; mothers in my district doesn’t really behave like that…
  438. Normally, it’s the mom who impose the sexual taboos. My mother never did só and my father never had problems with my child sexuality, nor kept me from reading, at age six, some sex education manuals that he had sitting around.
  439. Did I mention that there are no incest laws in Brazil?
  440. A person gains much more from an unequal, but positive, relationship, because education can only happen in unequal relationships. Either party needs to know more than the other, otherwise there’s no teaching. Plus, protection is more guaranteed if it’s a stronger person to exercise protection.
  441. You need more maturity to marry than to have sex.
  442. Do not marry for love, because love tends to pass and then you will divorce, which might expose your belongings to peril. In fact, Jesus also agrees that, if possible, it’s better not to marry, even if that means having a celibate life (Matthew 19:9-11). So, even if you two really love each other, it’s better to consider if marriage is really worth it.
  443. The author says the a pedophile wouldn’t propose (marriage) to a child. But didn’t Lewis Carroll propose to Alice?
  444. A large number of minors who experienced sexual relationships with same-sex people in childhood do not grow up homosexual.
  445. Do we have the right to keep the minor from falling in love?
  446. A child may love an adult like they love the parents.
  447. “What if the minor becomes disappointed with the relationship?” Well, that also happens between adults and doesn’t make their relationships illegal.
  448. Affetive disappointment is a risk in any relationship, even the chaste ones.
  449. A child may exploit a pedophile’s weakness.
  450. “Do as I say, or I’m telling the cops!” Every kid is a potential Chris Hansen.
  451. “Relationship politics” isn’t conditioned to sexual elements. It can gravitate any element.
  452. If the child takes an active role in a sexual relationship, the adult can say goodbye to his authority. The child will see the adult as submissive, at least in some sense.
  453. A child who receives affection from an adult when she desires such affect, got what she wanted.
  454. Chapter ten opens with the statement that child porn brings more disgust to normal people than real relationships, supposing they are non-penetrative and uncoerced. Yeah, he is right, I’m considering to stop reading here.
  455. The reason for that is that child pornography is a business. How can it be different from sexual exploitation? In last analysis, is different from prostitution?
  456. “I don’t think this is universally true.” Oh, my…
  457. The minor can record pornography of himself, share it and think it’s the best thing ever. Well, that does happen, but if he sold that pornography, I mean, if he had a source of income while being still só young, wouldn’t he want to quit school? At least here, a lot of tykes only attend to school because they need a middle school diploma in order to get a job that pays well.
  458. Child prostitution is a problem associated to poverty. Children with better economic conditions likely wouldn’t sell themselves. Too many cases of child prostitution are a symptom of poor state administration.
  459. The correct way to eliminate child prostitution is eliminating poverty.
  460. The author says that there’s another cause for child prostitution: sexual restriction. In Victorian Era, the monogamy code was too strict. That made prostitution grow as a big business. Why is drug dealing something só lucrative? Because drugs are forbidden by law. For as long as there are people willing to buy, drug dealers will benefit from low competition. In the case of prostitution, as sexual desire is an innate thing, with levels that we didn’t choose, there are always people looking for “adventure”. So, a whore house could earn lots by raising the costs (low competition, risky job, constant demand), which turn prostitution something rather profitable. If sex wasn’t taboo, prostitution would stop being só profitable. Makes some sense.

  461. Why is the number of smiling children in child porn só… high?
  462. The campaign against child pornography began thanks to christians who had media influence and a lot of information given by the media of the time was wrong.
  463. The campaign only worked because the violation of sexual values always causes enormous discomfort in the West.
  464. What is “spiritual murder”?
  465. The author says that the laws that protected children from possible abuses that could be caused by production of child porn already existed, there was no need of a specific law to ban all child porn. Plus, there was never evidence, by the time when such law was suggested, that “hardcore pre-teen” was ever being produced or distributed in Britain. The child porn that was available back then was “softcore”, not só different from nudes which teens send to each other (just to poke the subject, yes, sharing nudes of a person under age of 18 is distribution of child porn, which is crime). I read somewhere that softcore child porn was only banned in Japan in 1999.

  466. The author concludes that laws against child pornography became a thing because of hysteria, caused by “anti-sexual lobby”.
  467. The author is about to suggest how child porn can be legalized without harming children. Get ready for controversy.
  468. Laws against child pornography promote censorship.
  469. At the time when the book was written, most arguments against child pornography tackled the effect that such pornography could have on the consumer. Would he feel an urge to attack a child if he became addicted to such images or stories? Today, no one argues like that, because it became obvious that the presence of legal porn (such as Xtube) decreases the rape rates. In the case of child porn, at least until 2007, the mere possession of child porn is not a criminal offence in Czech Republic as it allows the pedophile to feel satiated without touching a real child. So, the argument that “porn is theory, rape is practice” meets no empirical ground. Reminder: don’t consume it, cause it’s still illegal here.
  470. Pornography that causes no harm to the model can be used therapeutically. “Oh, but what kind of porn doesn’t victimize the minor?” The nudes he takes of himself, as well as fiction porn (shotacon, for example).
  471. For the author, non-degrading porn should be liberated.
  472. Media is “normalizing” pedophilia since the seventies, guys. If it were to work, it would already be normal.
  473. There is child porn that physically injures the minor. I heard that there exists, in some dark place of the Internet, videos of dying kids that are sold as porn. However, says the author, it seems to be super rare. That’s because the biggest child porn consumers (excluding minors themselves) are pedophiles and they, if we owe credit to the previous chapters, do want to cause harm to the kid they like. So, a porn that causes physical or psychological distress to the model wouldn’t make great success among them, thus being less profitable.
  474. I’m glad that freedom of speech is a human right; if these were the sixties, I would “disappear” for writing these things.
  475. Advocate changes in the law is a right, but breaking laws in effect is crime.
  476. Feminists do not like pornography because, as they say, porn reinforces women’s submission and objectification. But not all feminists think like that.
  477. Porn can be used for political purpose.
  478. All forms of tyranny are disguised as natural law.
  479. If you go to Xtube, you will see a lot of women making porn for free, because that makes them feel better about their own body, increases their self-esteem. So, if a woman makes porn because she likes it, she’s not a victim of sexism. No one asked her to do what she’s doing.
  480. I bet that the author is going to extend that reasoning to children. If he used the same argument today, when even five-year-olds are taking nudes, he would have high degree of acceptability.
  481. For the author, the disgust that radical feminists feel towards pornography is grounded in an anti-heterossexual bias, according to which a “real” woman would never feel pleasure by taking a passive role.

  482. But such argument ignores the existence of pornography in which the woman is dominant.
  483. The argument that men who consume porn do só for a desire to see women being used, abused, broken and discarded is prejudice. The man who watches porn rarely looks for a woman who humiliates herself on video. The man doesn’t see the woman as a humiliated party and the woman doesn’t see herself as being humiliated.
  484. When a man poses nude, is he humiliating himself? Then why would that be the case when the model is a woman?
  485. When a teenager glues a poster of his favorite singer on his wall, is he objectifying the singer?
  486. A number of critics against child porn comes from people who never spoke to a real pedophile to see what he actually likes to see. How can they know if the porn desired by pedophiles is the porn that is effectively banned by law or if the desired porn needs to be banned?
  487. At the time when the book was written, there was one schoolar who suggested that there should be a kind of porn aimed at children and that such porn could have pedagogical aspect, not só different from the sex education manuals that already exist. It’s the first time I ever hear about something like that.
  488. Sex education manuals are easy prey for the anti-sexual lobby. There’s actual pressure to keep the child uninformed about things that she wants to know about.
  489. The belief that child porn is wrong, says the author, starts from the two suppositions that children aren’t sexual beings and that sexuality isn’t something that should be shown.
  490. Most of that porn is amateur and produced at home.
  491. The author says that, before child porn being banned in his territory, the children approved the material for which they modelled for. Frequently, the material was produced by parents, who would then sell the material for distributors. At least, the money would stay with the family…
  492. But there are children who hate to be recorded or photographed. There are also accounts of children who were forced into it. But at the age of cellphones with cameras, which allows children as young as five to record themselves with no adult intervention, it became clear that there are children who like to expose themselves.

  493. So, there is pornographic material featuring minors and that doesn’t victmize said minor.
  494. The author says that the child porn industry, before becoming illegal, gave a share of the money to the minor. I feel pretty worried about that… How can I guarantee that such amount is fair? And, if it is, what about the studies?
  495. In the end, child porn was completely banned because there was no other way to fight the material in which the child is actually exploited. Banning benign material was the cost of fighting the “bad” material.
  496. But such reason is disputed, because the people at the front of the movement against that kind of porn had ties with homophobia and the church.
  497. The same schoolar who spoke about porn for children suggests that the legal devices that already protect child actors should also be used in child porn industry. It’s hard, man, to read this book while having your lunch. Even though I admit that the argument is valid, I have a feeling that something is wrong.
  498. For Constantine, the kidnapping and exploitation of minors for purposes of porn production is a natural product of the status of ilegality of such porn. If it was legal, there would be no need to rely on extreme methods to obtain models, says Constantine. Guys, can’t we please just draw cartoon child porn?
  499. It would be better if such porn was free and regulated by state, in order to reduce the chances of exploitation. Plus, earning money with the model could count as child labor.
  500. But wouldn’t that pornography be used for blackmail? That’s one of the main arguments against nudes shared between minors: the possibility of leaking or the implosion of the model’s image.

  501. The author argues that nudes wouldn’t be used for blackmail if the world has less sex shame. Of course, he isn’t talking specifically about nudes, but any pornographic material, specially because there was no cellphones at the time when the book was written.
  502. Finally, I finished the tenth chapter. This chapter was probably the most controversial reading that I have ever done. It’s a punch on the stomach. If the author is correct, I hope that such changes are adopted gradually, not all at once. But if he is right or not, it’s for you to judge.
  503. “PIE, like PAL, had grown out of the gay movement of the mid-1970s.” Yep, it seems like gays didn’t see attraction to minors as essentially anti-ethical back when the movement was at it’s peak. You just gotta remember that everyone at NAMBLA is gay by definition.
  504. PIE’s founder was not a pedophile.
  505. Gays once marched against age of consent laws in England.
  506. But not all of them.
  507. One of PIE objectives was to reduce the myths about pedophilia, by dissemination of scientific information. Another was to advise depressed or isolated pedophiles. That’s slightly reminiscent of what B4U-ACT does today. The difference is that B4U-ACT stays out of the contact issue (that is, if age of consent must or not be abolished) and offers no legal support for pedophiles who break the laws (while PIE offered legal advice). Also, B4U-ACT’s goal is to reduce stigma and build a bridge between pedophiles and mental health services, while PIE’s goal was legalization.
  508. What keeps pedophiles from doing, say, marches against age of consent is how cruel the media can be.
  509. The exit that PIE found was publicity. They needed to be seen and known, só that other people could join the movement. It would be ridiculous to fight against such hard barries with a membership of 250 people.

  510. It wasn’t working until PIE’s boss started to make public presentations in conferences.
  511. A person can even agree with what PIE proposed, but almost no one has any hope of this thing being pushed forward any time soon.
  512. PIE wanted to be a support group, where pedophiles could learn to live in a hostile society. That’s one of the current goals of B4U-ACT. But, again, B4U-ACT stays out of the legalization issue.
  513. “How to be paedophile without being suicidal about it, without feeling guilty just because other people expect you to? Guilt-ridden, anxious paedophiles are almost bound to become more relaxed, more happy as individuals, if for the first time in their lives they find themselves amongst other paedophiles who have learnt not to be depressed by their oppression.” Page 157.
  514. PIE, however, to stay legal, didn’t put adults in contact with children.
  515. They wanted changes in the law, but not to break laws in effect.
  516. Of course, media had to ruin their lively group.
  517. PIE also didn’t encourage their members to break laws.
  518. The author admits that a “radical” pedophile, who wants legalization, is not in position to give advice about seeking treatment or not. That explains B4U-ACT’s position. If they had a definite position in the contact issue, not only they would push away pedophiles in need of help, but they would also be unable to give proper help.
  519. Eventually, the support group activities were harmed by the very group’s political engagement.

  520. Even though pedophiles who joined PIE enjoyed the idea of finding others like themselves, which reduced the feeling of isolation, PIE’s political agenda put the members at risk, obviously. Not everyone is ready for political engagement, specially in such a serious cause that meets só much resistence.
  521. The reluctance in participating in legalization divided the pedophiles that PIE tried to unite.
  522. “We just did what we felt it was in us to do, what we were bursting to do, which was to stand up and say loud and clear that we were pig sick of creeping in the shadows, of pretending to be something other than ourselves, of apologizing for feelings which within our deepest selves we knew were capable of a good and fine manifestation, not a wicked or perverted or ‘sick’ one.” Page 163.
  523. The gay movement only worked because a lot of gays came out of the closet and challenged, in group, a society that was hostile to them. In United States, the number of minor-attracted people sums at least 660 thousand. There’s no data about how much they are in Brazil, though some schoolars estimate that pedophiles represent one full percent of the world population.
  524. But that wouldn’t be possible if the gays didn’t employ tactics to sufficiently clear the discrimination before they could organize themselves as a politcal minority: persuasion in public relations and political lobbying, for example.

  525. There are antis at left and at right.
  526. Intellectuals also are subject to emotion. There’s not a single person in the world who is immune to prejudice.
  527. Those same intellectuals may be favorable to the use of brutal violence in name of nationalism.
  528. I’m almost sure that PIE would have more chances of success if it wasn’t só radical. The author says that delivering the message in a radical, raw manner would make PIE harder to ignore and would spawn a sincere debate on the subject. Well, at least the “harder to ignore” part worked. I believe that the debate, in the end, was not “are their claims valid or not”, but “how to shut those lunatics up.”
  529. A strong press campaign was needed. Yes, but I worry about how the content was delivered.
  530. Newspaper dirty trick: make an article bad-mouthing someone, then say that said someone has the right to reply and, when that person reply, you don’t publish it. That way, you keep your “impartial” reputation without allowing the other side to speak out.
  531. A lot of people try to disqualify a diverging point of view by keeping it’s proponents in silence, even if violent means are needed for such. What are antis scared of, if pedophiles “are” wrong?
  532. How can media say “you have the right to reply” and, when you reply, it says “stop trying to justify yourself”?
  533. You can not fire an employee because of his sexuality, specially if he didn’t commit any crime. But a lot of people do it anyway. Journalists can also encourage such behavior, even though it’s unethical.
  534. Because of media virulence, PIE lost it’s treasurer. More than that, no one in their sane mind wanted to fill that spot.
  535. A nation can receive a good shock when it’s attitudes are exposed as negative by international press.
  536. Criticized by Veja today, cherished by El Pais tomorrow.

  537.  People who don’t defend legalization may still admit that many of those relationships do not end in harm.
  538. Even if you didn’t commit any crime, the police may deny you help when you need them, if they dislike the opinion you have on a given subject.
  539. This is the kind of thing you don’t find in history textbooks, huh?
  540. A proponent of age of consent abolishment can expect to meet resistence not unlike the resistence narrated from page 171 to 173.
  541. Media gives misinformation.

  542. Do not trust media if what you want is the acceptance of something completely new. Media only repeats and validades an already sanctioned opinion. That’s why you don’t see this, it or that on Veja or Brasil247.
  543. Be radical, but not too radical.
  544. PIE wasn’t the only organization of it’s genre.
  545. On United States, gay bashing was disguised as pedophile bashing (using it as excuse to persecute gays).
  546. Tom Reeves didn’t hide the fact that he was a pedophile.
  547. What made the pedophile movement have more chances of success in United States than in Britain, where PIE died? Simple: they didn’t exactly want the liberation of pedophilia as recognized sexual minority, but just age of consent abolishment. That granted some support from judges, lawyers and church people.
  548. The focus was the liberation of minors, with emphasis on adolescents, not só much on children, not só much on adults.
  549. Another factor that enabled a faster growth to the movement in United States was the fact that, when NAMBLA appeared, US was less conservative than UK, in the sense that they were more prone to give new ideas a chance.
  550. Example: “Kid porn is particularly disturbing partly because it shows us that children will readily respond to sexual advances and even become active participants in sexual encounters. Like any human potential, the reality of juvenile sexuality can be tapped for evil as well as for good. The pornographers are simply forcing us to confront the fact that this sexual potential in children really exists.” Can you believe that this was published in Los Angeles Times?
  551. In Holland, things were more post-punk: both attorneys and protestant christians believed that arresting an adult in harmless relationship with a minor is not something that can be justified.
  552. NVSH still has a website (and here is the page relevant to the subject). They advocated the acceptance of all voluntary expressions of sexuality and reached around “one quarter of a million” members (250 thousand).
  553. The climate of acceptance in Holland allowed a rational, unbiased debate about pedophilia. They didn’t react with the great disgust that we react with today.
  554. Open pedophiles were seen around children they loved and people didn’t see that as an automatic sign of danger. Reminder, guys: it wasn’t even fifty years ago.
  555. Intergenerational lovers were interviewed by local media.
  556. Pastors would preach favorably about pedophilia on television, being watched by thousands of protestants.
  557. From communists to catholics, no one reacted automatically badly on Holland.
  558. Pedophiles would march in public and, man, they would take children with them.
  559. Surreal times.
  560. There were even sympathetic judges.
  561. They would speak about it in schools. Students were supportive.
  562. “[…] there has been a further petition calling for the abolition of the age of consent, presented to the Government in June 1979, and signed by the Trade Union of Teachers, the Union of Probation Officers, the Protestant Trade Union of School Teachers, and the Protestant Union for the Family […]”. Holland must be the only place in the world where the involvement of pastors with the pedophile cause is bigger than the involvement of priests.
  563. The existence of pro-family organizations that support relationships with minors shows that there are people who do not associate pedophilia with threat to the family.
  564. Just like Brasil before 2009, a relationship with a minor in Holland (as long as the minor was 12 or more) wouldn’t be immediately investigated if no one complained. So, for as long as the relationship was positive and no one complained, police wouldn’t act.
  565. The climate of acceptance was also thanks to education.
  566. When parents are like “I’m gonna file a complaint”, police was like “your son is going to go through interrogatory and forensic exam, see if it’s worth it.” If the minor was really abused, the mother wouldn’t think twice. But, with a warning like that, she would be less inclined to file a complaint for a relationship regarded as positive by the child.
  567. If the prosecution would cause more harm than benefit to the involved parties, the prosecutors would refuse to continue with the prosecution. It would be dropped. That wasn’t valid only in sexual matters, but in any matter, says the author.
  568. Despite that, there’s difference between tolerating and encouraging. So, if on one hand the penalties for pedophiles were small (when they were punished), the act still wasn’t legal. Reminder: talking about harmless, uncoerced relationships, not rape.
  569. Pedophilia will never be accepted for as long as it’s seen as a minoritary sexual behavior, just like there are still people who can’t stand gays. Minorities are weird, because they are rare.

  570. If you can not wait, haste.
  571. From a pragmatic point of view, legal intervention in relationships that are harmless, uncoerced, sought by the minor and approved by the parents causes more harm than benefit.
  572. The positive effort for pedophile acceptance in Holland began in the fifties, with a group called Enclave, which later became… a publishing house.
  573. Before concluding, the author, even though he advocates a change in the laws, does not say in any point of the books that you should break laws in effect. He would be crazy if he said só. He has a blog called Heretic TOC, só, if you have questions about the book, go there and ask personally (in English). If you are, I dunno, “inspired”, here’s the Federal Senate site, where you can suggest laws and, if you get 20 thousand supports, have your suggestion evaluated by the Human Rights Comitee, which my take your suggestion for consideration in Congress, where it may or not become a law.

17 de dezembro de 2014

Notes on Rivas’ “Positive Memories.”

Filed under: Livros, Passatempos, Saúde e bem-estar — Tags:, , — Yurinho @ 01:30

“Positive Memories: cases of erotic and platonic relationships and contacts of children with adults, as seen from the perspective of the former minor” was written by Rivas. Below are some notes I made about his text.

  1. “Ipce” is a fórum of scholars, doctorate or not, interested in understanding relationships, specially sexual, between adults and children or adolescents.
  2. The author contacted Ipce in order to publish his book through that fórum. What is the book about, besides the obvious? About positive relationships. Here comes polemics.
  3. The current consensus is that pedophilia is immoral.
  4. However, scientific evidence shows that relationships between adults and minors don’t necessarely result in damage and, because of that, the consensus can be challenged. Positive relationships shouldn’t be grouped with forced or harmful relationships.
  5. The moral panic towards pedophilia makes people find outraging to chat about positive relationships. That exposes that the current discussions on pedophilia rarely are impartial.

  6. But this book, simply, brings 155 accounts found on medical literature, magazines and Internet about positive encounters between adults and minors. Considering that about ¾ of those relationships are never found out, the number of positive relationships may be considerably higher, specially because there’s no reason to report them. Despite this being a book I will likely enjoy reading, I must point that online accounts aren’t very reliable. I hope this book doesn’t have a lot of them…
  7. Because the consensus that pedophilia is bad took moral panic proportions, people prefer to forget that those positive relationships do happen.
  8. Dang, there’s references! List of other things to read.
  9. The author wasn’t the first to do that kind of work and probably wasn’t the last. I know others, that’s true, but this one is the biggest.
  10. Pedophiles aren’t all men. There are women too. And they aren’t always heterosexual. There are encounters between man and boy, man and girl, woman and boy, woman and girl.
  11. The book brings a small number of accounts in which there’s an erotic element, but not a romantic one. Also, there’s a small number of accounts in which there’s romantic element, but not erotic, meaning that pedophiles may crush on children and still not do anything sexual to them. But most of the accounts have both elements.
  12. The author points that relationships in which the erotic element is absent are rare in professional literature and that he doesn’t know how to interpret that fact. My guess is that people in general think that pedophilia is a solely sexual attraction, a fetish, which reveals research bias. In addition, you can never be sure if an adult who falls in love with you when you are a kid really is a pedophile or just a nice guy, specially because he doesn’t have to vocalize the feelings. That’s a problem that is only starting to be remedied now.
  13. The existence of positive relationships imply that power imbalance isn’t a necessary element.

  14. Minors may want those involvements.

  15. The book’s target audience is the general public. Audacious play. But he is also taking aim at anti-contact pedophiles.
  16. The book’s thesis: relationships between adults and minors must be judged according to individual merit, rather than being all illegal. If we owe credit to the work of others, that is, that most of the relationships between adults and minors do not harm the minor, só much that they aren’t reported, the application of the thesis to legal level would reduce public expenses in cases of statutory “rape” without real violence. Keeping in mind that our prison system is a tragedy.
  17. It wasn’t any account that made it into the book. The author has his criteria:

    1. The relationship wasn’t coerced.

    2. The minor didn’t draw negative feelings from the relationship per se (even though they may have drawn negative feelings from medical or judicial intervention). If the minor is prepubescent, that implies non-penetrative involvement.

    3. The work is based on memories, which means that the children weren’t interviewed, but adults, who has those relationships in childhood or adolescence.

    4. The account may not refer to an event occured past age 15 and the adult in the relationship must be at least 18.

    5. The account may not include incest.

    6. The minor must not have, themselves, developed a relationship with a minor when they hit legal age.

    7. The minor must not have developed criminal sexual misconduct.

    8. The accounts must not include prostitution.

  18. Those relationships show three things: there are relationships between adults and minors that do not include pain or abuse of power, that an adult can fall in love with a minor and that positive relationships can occur even before the minor is twelve-years-old. I can already hear the crowd’s angered screams.
  19. The fact that positive relationships do exist doesn’t imply that child sexual abuse doesn’t exist.
  20. The courageous author gives us his e-mail.
  21. The book’s first account also appeared in the leftist site Salon.
  22. Some teens, at age 15, are already planning to have sex at the first opportunity that appears. The first story is about a fifteen-year-old waiter and his 29-year-old boss.
  23. The relationship between them wasn’t just sexual and, as their feelings grew between each other, the minor learned things from the adult in other areas than sexuality, such as professional life.
  24. An adult who accepts a minor for what they are increase their self-confidence.
  25. Homosexual men may find out that they are homosexual by age eight. Someone told me that you can already know just by looking at the boy when he is three-years-old. See Prince George.
  26. Some minors who had relationships with adults says that those were the best relationships they had. Probably because the adult, if they reall fall in love and feel passionate about the minor, will give them a sensation of security and will pass them their knowledge. That doesn’t happen in relationships between adults. They lack the pedagogical aspect. In this case, I’m referring to the second account, between a 12-year-old boy and a 27-year-old man.
  27. The minor may fall in love with the adult before the opposite occurs.
  28. If the minor understand that he is putting the adult in danger, while he also loves the adult, he will keep secret. If he hated the adult, he would tell his parents.
  29. The minors who do not feel victimized have a feeling that society wants to remain blind.
  30. Relationships with minors are punished disporportionally.
  31. Some of those minors who had good relationships with adults become outraged after they grow up, because they notice that the relationships could have been longer if society wasn’t só… dumb.
  32. Those minors do not feel “molested”.
  33. Those involvements make the parents uncomfortable. But the parental discomfort towards those involvements frustrates the minor.
  34. Homosexuals have no right to hate pedophiles, because homosexuals also were a marginalized group forty years ago. Here, between us, the homosexual movement and the pedophile movement were, yes, almost the same thing before the eighties. The homosexual from then didn’t think it was unethical to be attracted to minors.
  35. Homosexuals oppressing minor-attracted people are a minority hating a smaller minority. They don’t listen, just like society did not listen to them. What’s that, if not hipocrisy?
  36. The homosexual who oppresses can not fight against oppression.
  37. A minor can feel much better around other adults, rather than around his parents.
  38. Explorations between two minors also occur.
  39. Sexual relationships do not necessarely involve penetration, specially if it’s with minors before puberty. Evidence shows that penetration is a common factor in negative relationships.
  40. Many times the minor is looking for something other than sexual pleasure, such as emotional support and tenderness.
  41. Even in those relationships that doesn’t have sexual pleasure as goal, such pleasure isn’t rejected if it occurs and may be welcome.
  42. There are crimes that aren’t punished, but not everything that is punishable should be crime.
  43. Early sexual experiences may be a reason for the minor to feel proud. That reminds me of my friends who lost their virginity among themselves at age thirteen or even ten. Those were wild times. And here I am, virgin at twenty-four.
  44. Small children, if left alone, may lose the virginity with each other… without even realizing it.
  45. Some relationships between minor and adult endure even after the minor becomes an adult.

  46. The child may make advances on an adult, even though the child themselves do not see the erotic value of those advances.
  47. Children do not oppose to adults they love. There’s a bigger chance of a child developing those relationships if they don’t feel loved by their parents.
  48. The child, upon realizing that what they are doing is forbidden (even without knowing the exact reason), won’t want to reveal anything due to fear of losing the friendship they have with the adult. That means that secrecy on the minor’s part doesn’t necessarely involve threats.
  49. An adult may wait until the child makes the first advance before feeling sure that they can advance as well.
  50. The sexual aspect of a relationship may be ended by the minor themselves. When they grow up, they become interested in others of their age.
  51. Homosexual inclinations can be an unique ocorrence in a person’s life. For example: you have a constant interest in women, but, at least in that only time, you felt attracted to a man. If we take in consideration that sexual orientation is a preference or exclusivity, can a ninety-year-old person who only fell attracted to their same gender once, for a short time span, be called homosexual or bisexual? Once in ninety years?
  52. Seduction can take years. Specially if you are younger than your beloved.
  53. Some teens who discover homosexual feelings as themselves if they look like homosexuals, as if a person’s sexuality necessarely reflected in their looks or actions. That occurs, sure, but not always.
  54. An adult who falls in love with a minor can still respect their sexual orientation and physical limits. If they are really a rapist, they wouldn’t care about it.
  55. A loving relationship can take form of friendship.
  56. A number of relationships between adult and minor are not traumatizing.
  57. If someone finds out, the consequences, however, can be traumatizing.
  58. Healthy sexual expression helps the person to develop with better emotional stability.

  59. In most relationships in which sexual expression occurs, it isn’t the main point, but an element like others, maybe less important than other demonstrations of affection.
  60. Some criminal reports are forced by parents.
  61. Usually, the minor isn’t listened in the trial of the adult whom he had the relationship with. The minor’s word, no matter how sincere it is, is trampled by presumption of violence (“you are too young, he manipulated you”).
  62. Some adults who had relationships with minors continue being friends with said minors despite the minors reaching adult age, even if those sexual contacts decrease in frequency. It’s not different from thom those who stay married despite both parties losing their attractive physical attributes.
  63. Even political orientation comes to play in seduction. “Are you leftist? What do you think of homosexuals?”
  64. A minor can willingly seduce an adult.
  65. Sexual interest can happen still in childhood, even though in the form of curiosity.
  66. Sincere relationships between adult and minor are frequently preceeded by months of friendship between the two.
  67. Some people find out very early that they like the older people.

  68. Some teens are more afraid of being homosexual than being involved with adults.
  69. The laws are unfair to the minors that they are supposed to protect.
  70. A minor may arrive at counseling with a neutral or positve experience and have it turned to negative after the therapist “interprets” what happened.
  71. In cases like those, the therapist doesn’t really listen to the minor.
  72. Some minors regret reporting.
  73. A confession may very well be forced.

  74. The social consequences of the act may be devastating to the minors socialization. He is stigmatized.
  75. The tragic effect caused by parental or societal reaction may have a grave impact over the minor’s sexual development.
  76. During the process, the minor is taken to disturbing and uncomfortable situations.
  77. Psychologists may leak the patient’s secrets if the patient is underage.
  78. The “help” and “protection” offered by authorities may be rejected by the minor. Like I thought, this is a highly controversial book.
  79. Society’s reaction can traumatize the minor, who may have not seen anything wrong in what happened.
  80. Minors mature at different speeds, some mature quicker (“early-bloomers”).
  81. Sexual education that only teaches sex and only it’s practice in normative form doesn’t inform the student in crucial questions. They still feel curious and want answers for some questions. If sexual education doesn’t give those answers, they will look for said answers elsewhere.
  82. The stigma related to homosexuality still exists and still harms minors who notice those feelings.
  83. Someone wrote that homosexuality can be noticed in a child while they are still an infant. Well, there’s a story in this book about a guy who noticed he “liked boys” at age seven.
  84. Your child may be no longer a virgin, it’s just that you don’t know.

  85. There’s only one way to acquire experience…
  86. It’s possible to be interested in sexual activity without having interest in a specific gender.

  87. Parents who had relationships while minors tend to be more tolerant when their children get in relationships while still minors.
  88. The sexual element may be present in friendships.
  89. Relationships like those, because it’s pedagogical element, may take the minor to leave harmful habits behind. That’s because a minor tends to listen to the adult whom he likes.
  90. Family unbalance makes up for deliquence. And what could be more delinquent than looking for an adult to have a sexual relationship with? Because of that, family environment makes it easier for adult-child relationships to occur, because a deliquent minor, looking for that kind of relationships, shows that he is coming from a negligent family.
  91. The problem with therapists, media and laymen is thinking that all adult-child relationships are negative. That’s not true. Statistical evidence shows that positive relationships occur as often as negative ones. Thus, both kinds of relationship should be taken in consideration. The lack of attention spent on positive relationships make us think (and I also thought like that) that they are too rare to be taken in consideration, perpetuating prejudice against them: if we think that they are rare, we won’t pay attention and will continue thinking they are rare.
  92. To ignore positive relationships is to distort reality.
  93. If there are both positive and negative relationships, we must think on what makes a relationship negative. From there, we can forbid those elements that turn a relationship into a negative one, rather than forbidding them all.
  94. The sexual element isn’t the only thing in an adult-child relationship.
  95. If a relationship like those increases the minor’s self-esteem, they can become more independent at a quicker pace.
  96. Damn, even Gavin Lambert is in this. In his biography, he says that he had a relationship with his teacher at age ten. And that he began to like cinema thanks to that teacher.
  97. Some minors who had sexual experiences before age of consent feel offended when they are called “victims”.
  98. There are adults whom the minor loves more than their own parents.
  99. Sex can be done for reasons unrelated to lust.
  100. Interesting how most of the adults cited in this book is younger than 30.
  101. Interesting how one third of the minors cited in this book are prepubescent children.
  102. There are minors who are unsatisfied with age of consent laws.
  103. A minor may feel attracted to an adult due to loneliness.
  104. Love is what matters most and you don’t hurt when you love.
  105. Some minors feel more attracted to adults than to people around their age. Actually, a recent study shows that the age of a “perfect partner” is, usually, four years older than the minor, according to adolescents’ standards. How many of us, as boys, didn’t lust over breasts, rear, thighs of “hot” teachers or beer ad women? How many times those desires didn’t reflect in drawings that we made in our classroom notebooks?
  106. A minor can insist in the relationship even after knowing it’s illegal, even if it’s his adult partner who says it’s illegal.
  107. An, even só, the minor tells no one, scared of how parents would react.
  108. The minor may tell other adults to not interfere.
  109. A minor in a sexual relationship isn’t necessarely a prostitute. They may even gift the adults they have relationships with.
  110. Even knowing that the adult is a pedophile, there are records of minors who do not fear them and like those relationships.
  111. The fact that there are minors who are against age of consent laws shows that those laws were done without asking their opinion. Age of consent laws are, because of that, “adultist” laws.
  112. Those relationships may last decades. Where are their parents? Aren’t those kids better with the adults they have relationships with, if their parents are capable of such negligence?
  113. The age difference may tease the minor’s curiosity.
  114. Some minors have their first orgasms with people who are older.
  115. Relationships between minors and responsible adults are analogical to relationships between two adults. One improves the other. But, like I said, thanks to the pedagogical element, the minor benefits more from such relationship.
  116. Many of those relationships are non-penetrative. The adult may allow the minor to take control.
  117. Sex is secondary, rather than the main element. It’s an important secondary element, tho.
  118. The minor may feel that the relationship is progressing naturally. They don’t even imagine that others would find it abnormal.
  119. The sensation of “lost childhood” not always happens. Of course, because “childhood” isn’t a concept that the child feels, as it’s a social construct.

  120. The minor’s relationship with an adult may not have been their first.

  121. The minor, sometimes, doesn’t want the adult to be arrested. Would arresting the adult be fair?
  122. Previous experiences with other minors may predispose the minor to relationships with adults. In those cases, the minor may feel proud of seducing an adult.
  123. At age eight, you already know how to keep a secret from your parents.
  124. Positive relationships between adults and minors aren’t object of media interest just because that point of view contradicts the dominant opinion, say some adults who had relationships with adults during their childhoods.

  125. Damn, an old man appeared only late in the book. The story number 34 is about a 13-year-old boy and a 67-year-old man. So far, most adults have been below age 30.
  126. There are kids who actually like to study. Weird, isn’t it?

  127. Purity is something that really interests minor-attracted people. Interesting how the interviewed adult, in the account 34, is avoiding, at all costs, to use the word “pedophile” to describe the adult whom he had a relationship with during his childhood.
  128. A pedophile who falls attracted to a child rarely is interested just in the kid’s body. They don’t see the kid solely as an object of sexual desire.
  129. Some parents don’t have enough love to be parents.
  130. When a person discusses positive relationships below age of consent with you, that person may start using all sorts of arguments to force you to admit that those relationships were not positive.

  131. The minors enjoys learning something from a liked adult.
  132. Any relationship may have an element of manipulation. Manipulation isn’t an exclusivity of adult-child relationships. If the prohibition of intergerational contact with children is the possibility of manipulation, then no relationship should be allowed: passionate manipulation between two adults also occurs and is on the news more often than adult-child manipulation. There’s even people concluding that a minor is only forced (manipulation being a kind of force) 5% of the times only.
  133. The minor can also manipulate the adult. “Do this, or I’m telling the cops.”
  134. Articles favorable to the subject are banned from media.
  135. After some time, physical attraction starts to not depend on physical appearance.

  136. The teacher who loves the student becomes more dedicated to teach. The student who loves the teacher becomes more dedicated to learn. Institutional rules that keep either side from forming affection-based bounds between students and teachers harm the passing of knowledge. The contact between one generation and another becomes “cold” and “sterile”.

  137. That kind of relationships doesn’t interfere in friendships which the minor may build with other minors.

  138. A good number of those adults is harmless. In the case of the almost-70-year guy, how much threat can an elder pose?
  139. Yes, both can benefit from it.

  140. Sometimes, the minor’s only worry is being caught.
  141. Consent doctrine says that a consent is only valid if both sides understand the act and both sides are free to say “no”. But minors in general do not see things that way; for many, consent is “we both want it, só it’s valid.” The biggest offenders of age of consent laws are the very minors.
  142. Parents have the right to know if a child has any adult friends.

  143. Some adult-attracted minors take advantage of their older appearance to lie about their own age, aiming to achieve the adult’s approval.
  144. Hypersexuality occurs in children too.

  145. Take note: “How I Learned to Snap”. It’s a biography by a homosexual journalist who remembers his relationships with adults, when he was 13, as helpful for building his adult identity.
  146. Minors who fall in love over adults may feel suffocated for not acting according to the impulse.
  147. If Rivas wasn’t supposed to use testimonials from pedophiles in this book, he would have more chances of acceptance if he didn’t use accounts obtained in Boychat. Don’t make it hard to defend you, Rivas!

  148. Not all those relationships, when discovered, end in arrests.

  149. Those relationships frequently start with desire for mutual affection.

  150. The status of ilegality of those relationships not always prevents them. It’s like downloading MP3. It’s wrong, but happens.
  151. Some parents allow!

  152. Some parents support it!

  153. Maybe the behavior problems that some children face nowadays have roots in lack of child sexuality expression. Some examples could be suicidal ideation, bedwetting and depression.
  154. There are adults who agree that the media coverage on pedophilia is unfairly negative.
  155. One can rise their grades this way.

  156. Many minors who has relationships do not seek medical help because they simply aren’t ill and didn’t suffer a trauma. A child who had a positive relationship may funcion just as good as other children, to the point of parents not noticing. That’s why therapists in general have such a negative view of adult-child relationships, because they only receive traumatized children in their clinics. Because of that, clinical samples aren’t a reliable source for researching the impact of relationships involving minors. It’s like going to a hospital to gauge the percentage of ill people.

  157. Minors who has positive experiences don’t wish their life was different in that aspect.

  158. Relationships below age of consent aren’t automatically abusive. A law doesn’t make something abusive if broken. You just need to remember of homosexuality, which was once illegal. Just to remind you: I’m making annotations on a book. I’m not telling you to break the laws.

  159. Some adults say that their experiences as minors with other adults were better than experiences with other minors. Again, don’t go around breaking laws.

  160. In a sexual relationship, both parties may seek different goals. They don’t have to build a relationship for the same reason. So, the fact of one wanting pleasure and the other wanting protection doesn’t invalidate the relationship, as long as both obtain what they want from the relationship.

  161. Child sexuality is “less selfish, playful, pleasure-seeking and less fearful of rejection.”
  162. Minors can pre-plan the seduction and what to do when the seduction starts working.

  163. This kind of relationship speeds up the minor’s maturing.

  164. Seems like the child, despite having sexuality, doesn’t develop more mature feelings of love before a certain age. Of course they love, but their love and their sexuality aren’t always connected, with sexuality serving the only purpose of achieving pleasure. It looks like something I would read from Freud.

  165. It’s possible to educate a child on politics. Maybe the correct word is “doctrinate”, tho.
  166. The physical power difference doesn’t nullify the relationship. A relationship between a bodybuilder and a lingerie model isn’t invalid. Unless we are going to forbid relationships by using weight criteria. When you love, you don’t want to hurt. That’s why “unequal” relationships work.

  167. A precocious minor most likely won’t be raped.

  168. A child may learn from their parents that sex is sin. That, like, has no biblical base…

  169. But the kid may also learn that confessing the sin “washes” it. The kid, then, sums two and two: “if I can confess, it doesn’t matter if I do it.”
  170. Growing up in a religious family doesn’t guarantee chastity. That’s because small children often do not understand the concept of shame. They are amoral and utilitarian. If something make them feel good while doing no apparent harm, but mom says it’s bad, the boy will do it behind her back.

  171. The adult not always tells the minor to keep secret.

  172. When a child is an “early bloomer” and finds no one to have a relationship with, they will likely find pleasure from another source. It’s not something one can erase.

  173. Seems like those happen more often in religious ambients. Strange.
  174. “Also in my head it began to click that sex was forbidden by the church, but that everyone did it anyway.” Welcome to the world, boy.

  175. The best way to tease a child’s curiosity is forbidding them from doing something.
  176. Lack of sex can ruin an engagement.
  177. Church looks pure. Just looks.
  178. Some individuals who fell attracted to older people during their childhood grow up and continue attracted to older people. Notice how we have adult age-discrepant couples. There’s not a lot of attention on this subject because, even if it’s no illegal if both are adults, it’s still something that flees from the norm. Or rather, from what is considered to be the norm.

  179. In an adult-child relationship, it’s common for the minor to need more attention from the adult than the other way around.

  180. This generation is more sexually informed than the previous.

  181. Just like sexual relationships between adults and minors make the adult be seen as sick, an early sexual behavior in children makes the child be seen as sick.

  182. Surrounding a natural impulse with ideas of guilt harms the normal development.
  183. Not talking about the subject makes the sexually-experimenting child feel isolated. The child starts wondering if their sexual curiosity is abnormal, when it actually is not.
  184. When a child builds friendship with a responsible adult, the parents notice that the child’s behavior improves.

  185. Interesting how in some cases narrated in this book, the relationships happen before the child even notices if they are heterosexual or homosexual. When a child notices what’s their orientation and notices that said orientation is incompatible with the relationship they are having with the adult… they simply stop.

  186. Those relationships do not necessarely indicate that the kid doesn’t like their parents.

  187. If the adult is arrested due to the relationships, they will continue friends with the minor after being released.

  188. A round of sex doesn’t need to involve penetration. Though, being Brazilian, it’s hard for me to see non-penetrative intimacy as “sex”, because that word always conveys me an idea that it’s penetrative.

  189. You can forget your anger on bed. Again, and I have to say this whenever I’m scared of the popular reaction to these annotations: I’m making annotations on a book, I’m not telling you to break the law.

  190. It’s possible for a child to be involved with adults, but not with any child of their age.

  191. Those tykes are só “you only live once.”

  192. Pedophiles rarely fall in the stereotype people have of them.

  193. Relationships like those could improve the minor’s emotional control.

  194. It’s easier for a minor to accept advice from a lover than their very parents.

  195. Depending on family dynamics, it’d be better for the minor to be adopted by the lover.

  196. Age of consent laws could very well slow down the minor’s normal sexual development.

  197. It’s the minor’s opinion against the judge, the teacher and that dude at social services.

  198. There are minors who insist with the adult until they get it.

  199. Strange how some adults in this book aren’t exactly “pedophiles”, that is, they don’t seem to have a preference for minors. That means that there are people who aren’t pedophiles and, even só, may eventually have a relationship with a minor.

  200. Defending pedophilia doesn’t make a pedophile, just like defending homosexuality doesn’t make you homosexual.

  201. The minor may have their positive experience turned into negative when someone convinces them of that. However, if you had to be convinced that your experience was negative, wasn’t it a fault of whoever convinced you? That’s why children come out crazy from therapy. If a doctor at social services didn’t ever tell you that “you have been abused, manipulated and used”, maybe you wouldn’t feel bad over what happened, supposing that the act wasn’t forced, abusive or manipulative. Then the kid grows up with chronic problems related to the “abuse”, such as guilt and shame, problems that would never have appeared if no one had told them that their positive experience was “actually” negative.

  202. Coming out positively about relationships between adults and minors may make you lose votes.

  203. There’s a lot of people in sex offender register who do not need to be there.

  204. There are minors who would do it again, despite knowing it’s crime.

  205. Wild kindergarten.

  206. Seems like adult-child relationships are more acceptable is the adult is a woman. There are minors who feel bad when the adults are arrested.

  207. When the minor speaks about what happened to the therapist, they do not identify the therapist’s discourse with their experience.

  208. Where’s the victim?

  209. The teacher you go out with doesn’t even need to be your teacher.

  210. Upon growing up, some former minors ask the judge to let the adult out of jail.

  211. Also upon growing up, some former minors marry and have children with the adult.

  212. There’s a load of minors willing to have affairs with older women.

  213. As those minors feel that their positive experiences are minority, they do not support the legalization of those relationships. The issue is that, actually, the traumas are minority…

  214. Even minors who had positive relationships with pedophiles may still nurture hate towards all other pedophiles, except that only one who had the relationship wiht them. The reason for that is the belief that those positive relationships are exceptions and that most adults who approach to a kid that way just wants to rape. People like those, whoever, may still think it’s okay as long as the act is not forced, só they open an exception.

  215. When two minors have a relationship, it tends to be shallow, due to both having the same intelectual level. But, with an adult, there’s the pedagogical aspect.

  216. Women are also capable of sexual violence.

  217. A same person can have both positive and negative sexual experiences in childhood and adolescence and has authority to compare them.

  218. Love is never wrong. If you love, you won’t hurt.

  219. Minors who had good relationships with adults may still retain the prejudice that pedophilia only exists where abuse exists. So, for those minors, the adult who has a non-coerced, non-painful relationship with a minor isn’t a pedophile. The problem is that it’s wrong: pedophilia is the sexual attraction for children. It’s a clinical term, indifferent to the morals. That doesn’t mean that those relationships were bad, but that pedophilia isn’t always bad. In fact, pedophilia is an attraction, not an act. A person can be pedophile and never do anything sexual to a child for whatever reason.
  220. There are minors who even say that there problems that are unique to those who didn’t have relationships in adolescence. Curious data.

  221. When homosexuality was unnacceptable, a number of homosexuals would openly say that anal sex was wrong. Nowadays, we have anti-contacts.

  222. This book has an abbreviated link. Does he expect me to click the page? That’s why a book that is available in HTML format can not be printed without editing.

  223. Why do children still talk to strangers despite being warned not to? Because strangers not always seem dangerous.

  224. There are parents who have the feeling that there’s an adult doing something to their child, but feel unsure about intervening or not, as they see that the child is genuinely happy with whatever is happening between them and their adult.

  225. A parent may continue to allow their child to have a relationship with an adult for fear of harming the child upon forcing a break up.

  226. The book brings the case of an adult who got to the point of showing his child pornography collection tothe minor. The amount of smiling children in that kind of pornography is… surprising. You just have to remember that there are minors who take picutres and record videos of themselves. That would be production and possession of child pornography, even if it’s produced by the minor, without adult intervention, and even if the minor doesn’t share it (and even if they can consent, but haven’t reached age 18). From which we can conclude that a child doesn’t need to be forced or tortured to allow such pornography to exist.
  227. When someone is caught with child porn, any tabloid can say whatever they wish about them, including lies. After all, it’s a damn pedophile, right? Who cares about their dignity?

  228. If on one hand there are adult-child relationships that are traumatic, on the other hand the popular reaction also traumatizes the minor.

  229. It’s more common than you think.

  230. Some minors look for adults because partners of their age simply do not meet expectations.

  231. There are women who quarrel for the pleasure of reconciliation.

  232. Why are the accounts about little girls way more detailed?

  233. The “friendly shoulder” strategy works well. Maybe you should do that to an adult you like. Again, I’m reviewing a book… I’m not telling you to have affairs with children.

  234. Until a while ago, I was scared of women due to several, repeated bad experiences and prejudices that were given to me by my environment. But there are women who fear men for the same reason, because they were taught to.

  235. Some parents who find out about those relationships prefer to solve it themselves without involving the police.

  236. The effort of convincing the masses that those relationships are always negative only works with those who didn’t have positive relationships. I’m immune, then.

  237. There are people who mourn the death of a loved one until the day they die themselves.

  238. Having feelings towards older people may confuse the minor.

  239. The fact of many of those relationships occuring at age 14 validates age of consent in Brazil. There’s no need to raise our age of consent. The fact of many of those relationships occuring at age 12 validates the proposal to reduce age of consent in Brazil to 12. The fact of many of those relationships occuring before puberty makes us wonder if age of consent is necessary.

  240. Sometimes a minor needs an adult to tell them to take contraception seriously.

  241. At age 14, an adolescent already knows enough about their body and sexual functions, even if they didn’t have sexual education lessons, as they have easy access to Internet, can learn by own experience and can inform themselves with friends. Of course, sexual education would be better, tho…

  242. Learning sexual responsibility with an adult spares the minor from learning it themselves. Again, I’m making annotations on a book. It’s not me saying those things. Don’t go around breaking laws.

  243. There are minors who grow up and tell pedophiles to, yes, break the law, but “responsibly”. Man, should I continue reading this book or stop here?

  244. There are pedophiles who are satisfied with hugging the child or sitting them on the lap.

  245. A relationship may end because the minor feels that the adult loves the minor more than the other way around. The sensation of being unable to balance the mutual care makes the minor feel that it’s unfair to continue with an adult who is able to love só much while the minor can not love with the same intensity. That’s natural, I think, in relationships in which the minor is just too young to express feelings of love (which isn’t just affection). Plus, there’s no guarantee that both people love each other in the same intensity even in adult-adult relationships.

  246. Look, lesbians.

  247. Interesting how some gay rights activists believe that young homosexuals can benefit from learning with an adult.

  248. The accounts GW-03 and GW-04 are strangely alike. Edition mistake? Or two accounts by the same person?

  249. One of the things that make this kind of relationships attractive for the minor is that the minor isn’t treated as someone who is inferior to the adult. Said adult doesn’t impose themselves as someone who is superior.

  250. It’s easier for the minor to feel bad for being in a same-sex relationship than in an adult-child relationship.

  251. Domestic abuse, such as hits with sandals, sexual abuse, beltings, if given by the father, can make a girl grow up hating men.

  252. Minors may have those relationships, knowing they are wrong, without feeling guilt.

  253. To judge someone only for their sexuality is unfair.
  254. Minors may fall in love with adults and have their feelings reciprocated. That is, actually, natural.

  255. And then an “expert” comes to say that the minor was abused.

  256. There’s a lot of minor-attracted people who won’t be open about it.

  257. It’s hypocrite for a person who had good relationships in childhood to deny those relationships to the current youth.

  258. Who is really controlling and manipulative: the adult whom the minor is having a relationships with or the adult who says that the relationship is wrong, even if it doesn’t offer damage or risk?

  259. To assume that the minor knows nothing won’t make the minor learn. If the minor is unaware of things, why won’t you teach the minor? Why is society só averse to sexual education (which, in fact, is misunderstood)?

  260. Child sexuality shouldn’t be ignored as a problem of small intensity. It’s not even a problem to begin with.

  261. Two minors sometimes help each other to find an adult partner.

  262. Feeling that the relationship may end in a disaster, the adult my distance themselves. But that same adult may feel hurt if the child decides to distance themselves as well.

  263. Sex may not happen.

  264. The adult must take responsibility for whatever happens to the minor.

  265. A person can have homosexual feelings in adult life and still have doubts.

  266. Another report that appeared on Salon. Alright, they have an agenda…

  267. Some church-goers only attend to church because they think the celebrations are beautiful. That reminds me that I read somewhere that 40% of the French Catholics are atheist.

  268. Some minors don’t have sex only with those they love (“friends with benefits”).
  269. To call “abusive” all relationships with minors reveals that the researcher is too lazy to think.

  270. It’s simple, it’s politics that turns it complex.

  271. The argument against kiddy consent is, mainly, lack of information. Is that study or practice? If study, there are sex education lessons, there’s easy access to pornography (which minors shouldn’t watch, but do anyway), there are exchanged experiences, among others forms of obtaining information, such as scietific articles online. If it’s practice, there’s only one way to know. So, if a minor can not have relationships because they never had practice, then the minor won’t ever be able to have them: he needs practice to gain access to practice. And turning fourteen (age of consent in Brazil) doesn’t replace such. Unless you receive an orgy as birthday gift.

  272. That restriction reveals overprotection. In name of that overprotection, other freedoms are removed from minors. To achieve this, it’s important for the minor to feel like a victim, even if the act didn’t harm them.

  273. Another one from Salon, oh, gosh!

  274. Edmund White was also wild.

  275. There are minors who had só much sex before age 14 that they can’t even remember all those times. Shocking.

  276. There’s a number of minors using adult sites and having sexual conversations with adults.

  277. The parents of the previous generations were more sexually permissive. Previous generations in the sense of “around first World War.”

  278. It seems to be the norm between homosexuals to be against pedophilia. Very well, but, just to make sure, ask a 30-year-old homosexual at what age he lost his virginity and what was the partner’s age.

  279. “If there are children who like it, why is it always illegal?”, some adults who lived in the fifties ask.

  280. Pim Fortuyn had his first sexual encounter when he as five. It’s in his book “Babyboomers”.

  281. We make a huge deal because of something that the child doesn’t even find meaningful. Again, we are talking about positive relationships, not real abuse.

  282. Sometimes, it’s safer with an adult. Don’t go around breaking laws, minors.

  283. No such thing as innocent child.

  284. Even if such child does exist, the presence of an adult, even if a sexual adult, who does a good job at being a parent is still better than having no parent, if what the child wants is affection when an active parent is missing. That’s specially true in capitalistic societies, where both parents work a lot and the child loses contact with them. However, the fact that a same kid can explore with adults and peers suggests that the goal isn’t to find a surrogate parent.

  285. The existence of positive accouts likely won’t convince anyone who already believes that all those contacts are bad (“antis”).

  286. But the lack of emphasis in those encounters produces more prejudice.
  287. The minor may stop if they notice that it’s illegal and that the act has consequences.
  288. The fact of a person never getting sexually involved to a child while feeling interest towards adults does not disqualify the person as pedophile, if it’s easier for a child to incite them arousal than an adult.

  289. If Lewis Carroll took Alice to bed, supposing that she would want it and trust him, would she come out traumatized from the bedroom?

  290. “Antis are just desperate for an excuse to hate.” Yes, I also think that there’s a lot of people who like to hate.

  291. Some open pedophiles refuse sex with children even if the child wants it, either for ethical or legal reasons.

  292. Both may want and still nothing happens.

  293. Michael Jackson was friends with that boy from Home Alone. Said boy, by the way, defended Jackson against child abuse allegations, from which he was declared innocent after all.

  294. The number of positive relationships is probably way higher, because that is a subject that most people would rather not talk about. It’s important to remember of the “3/4”, mentioned in Rind Report.

  295. Considering that those relationships were voluntary, the Stockholm syndrome hypothesis doesn’t apply.

  296. What if those accounts were made up? Check the references!
  297. All those pedophiles who are coming out of the closet in this decade, as well as all others from previous decades who were involved with the movement, are worried with the ethics of those relationships. None of them wants “freedom to rape”.

  298. If you believe that positive accounts are fake, why don’t you doubt of the negative ones as well? I can question them too.

  299. To reject the possibility of positive experiences seems to be excused only when analysing relationships between adults and minors. In any other context, that would be seen as an attack against impartiality.

  300. Ask yourself: how could I be convinced that a relationship was positive? If nothing can convince you, it’s you who have a problem. You are up to disregarding the opinion of the person who felt the experience, while you did not. You don’t know what they felt. And, nonetheless, you feel free to conclude the opposite of what the minors felt.

  301. It’s possible to talk about consent in adult-child relationships. They aren’t non-consensual a priori, says the author.

  302. Those relationships, like adult-adult relationships, aren’t just sexual. There are other elements, such as affection, emotional closeness, mutual support, among others. In addition, the sexual element may even be completely absent.

  303. The fact that one third of the reltionships in the book involve prepubescent minors is an evidence of the existence of child sexuality. It’s not like adult sexuality, but is there. Notice how babies play with their genitals for several minutes, with no apparent reason. Why would they do that? Because it feels good. It’s sexual pleasure, but the baby, of course, doesn’t know that it is. Nonetheless, still sexual pleasure. From which we conclude that puberty only changes the shape of an already existing sexuality.

  304. There’s no scientific base for age of consent laws.

  305. A harmless relationship that is approved by the minor and by the minor’s parents doesn’t need to be forbidden. It was like that in Brazil before 2009, when the article 217-A of the Penal Code was approved.

  306. If those relationships were completely sexual, they were supposed to cease when the minor grows up. But a lot of them continue.

  307. It’s possible that the minor develops a trauma after such relationships thanks to the intervention of social services or justice. However, that doesn’t mean that all relationships are naturally good; “real” abuse exists, just like there are adults who rape other adults (and, just to poke the subject, there are also children who rape other children).

  308. A child who is capable of building friendships with another child and benefit from it can also build a friendship with an adult and benefit from it.

  309. An adult-child relationship must be judged according to it’s own merit, in a way that each relationship is a case in itself. There’s no need to declare all adult-child relationships illegal, because, in doing só, justice punishes victimless crimes at same time it risks victimizing the minor. That’s not what justice is for. Actually, it’s not justice, period.

  310. But, for ethical reasons, parents should still have the right to forbid relationships that they consider harmful. What Rivas wants is a return to the old law, that existed in Brazil before 2009.

  311. The question that we should ask isn’t at what age can someone start having a relationship, but what are the ethical criteria that should be taken in consideration in that specific type of relationship. Instead of forbidding all relationships with people under age fourteen (because it’s immoral to deprive someone of a costless benefit, for as long as it’s possible for the minor to benefit from it), let’s forbid only relationships that are violent, painful, disapproved by parents, disapproved by the minor…

  312. The minor has the right to stop the relationships and the adult may not order secrecy.
  313. Sexuality must not be forced. Someone must ask “wouldn’t an adult in a relationship with a minor always force the sex?”, but fact is that ethical adults, in relationships with other adults, won’t insist in a sexual contact if the partner doesn’t want it. Some relationships are even devoid of sex. It’s like saying that an adult, when driven by arousal, won’t stop at anything, like a sex-crazed beast. But would you really hurt a child for sex, specially if you love them?

  314. The relationship must not cause pain and must not have undesired consequences.

  315. If the minor says no or maybe or perhaps later or anything other than “yes”, don’t cross the line.

  316. Those ethical criteria should help the creation of new laws in the future, but, while that future doesn’t arrive, we shouldn’t break existing laws.

  317. If those relationships were liberated and the minor didn’t feel embarrassed to talk about them, real abuse would be easier to discover, because many minors don’t disclose because of shame.

  318. A relationship that is forced, painful, not approved by parents or not approved by the very minor must still be crime. But a relationships that is peaceful, healthy, approved by the minor and by the parents shouldn’t be criminally persecuted.

  319. Age of consent laws not only forbid adult-child relationships, but also child-child relationships.

  320. If the minor is too young, that is, a child, there should be no penetration. That touching the our parents gave us shouldn’t be prohibited (but, however, they became illegal in 2009, if the judge considers them “libidinous acts”, which may put a father in jail for up to fifteen years for an act which the presumed violence the child didn’t even feel). Those acts were só common, that they would air on TV, albeit very superficially, like the little natives in Castelo Rá-Tim-Bum or that scene in the original Menino Maluquinho in which the mother bathes Maluquinho and tries to grab his “lolipop”. That wasn’t seen as scandalous and a lot of fondling happened indoors. But UN thought it would be good for world peace to pressure Brazil to illegalize those contacts. By the way, just to poke the subject, UN does a terrible job at keeping world peace. What it truly is: a cultural imperialism device.

  321. If a friendship gets a sexual dimmension, the parents must know.

  322. In a relationship, no matter the age of the involved parties, neither party should see the other as object.

  323. If the adult notices that all that the minor wants is emotional involvement, that’s what the adult should give.

  324. If those relationships were selfish, the minors wouldn’t benefit from it. If they benefit from a relationship with an adult, that’s because the adult is not selfish.

  325. It’s not “your” child. The kid’s free.

  326. Social elements must also be taken in consideration. If someone finds out, would the minor be harmed? If a relationship has to stay a secret, maybe it would be better to not have such relationship.

  327. It may take decades for those changes to occur. So, for now, let’s just be friends, alright?

  328. No matter how much the adult loves the minor, the adult must not spoil the kid. The minor must not develop a dependence on the adult.

  329. The adult should inform the minor of real child sexual abuse and instruct them to report.

  330. Parents are the only ones who absolutely must know about the relationship. It doesn’t need to be secret, but you don’t go around telling everyone about it.

  331. Those relationships shouldn’t end abruptly, to avoid emotional pain.

  332. Despite being obviously pro-contact, Rivas says that, at least in present time, it’s better to be “virtuous”, that is, celibate when it comes to minors.

  333. To say that a pedophile doesn’t understand love or is incapable of feeling it is prejudice.

  334. A pleasurable, painless, approved (by minor and parents) isn’t immoral.
  335. A relationship that doesn’t abide to that standard must still be considered illegal, says the author.

  336. Prejudice is immoral. Demonizing someone over something you do not understand is immoral.

  337. Those changes must not take place before the social stigma is removed.

  338. Moral values of such “Pedophile Honor Code” should be revised periodically, according to new scientific discoveries, following the pace the current philosophical reflection. Such code should be used as foundation of regulation laws.

  339. Some critics say: “even if all those laws serve the purpose of preventing real abuse, no adult would be willing to follow them.” They speak as if sexual desire overwhelmed the reason of all minor-attracted adults. If that were true, how can one explain the large number of pedophiles who never have relationships with minors and never consume child porn? That prejudice is inherited by virpeds (anti-contact pedophiles), says the author, but I can say, from personal experience, that a number of virpeds do not think like that. From what I could observe, there are many reasons that make a person choose to be anti-contact path and the ability of an adult to follow a code of sexual conduct (something tht all normal adults already do in already legalized relationships, by the way) isn’t a good reason for a handful of anti-contacts. They are the living proof that someone can have an attraction and follow a code of ethics, even if their code is complete abstinence.

  340. Pedophilia is the attraction for pre-pubescent minors, period. It doesn’t imply selfishness, urges to kidnap, tendency to rape and kill, nothing of that. If a person gets to that point, it’s either a comorbidity or the person wasn’t a pedophile at all (because pedophilia, as sexual attraction, implies feelings of love).

  341. If it’s the erotic contact that causes the damage, how come two kids who fool around do not suffer with that?

  342. If we assume that pedophiles have little self-control, virpeds automatically lose all credit. How can they end stigma that way? That way, the anti-contact who says that minor-attracted adults have little self-control is implying that pedophiles shouldn’t be allowed around children, thus, can not participate in society. The discourse of complete celibacy turns null. But it’s like what I said, I don’t see many virpeds saying that our self-control is crippled.

  343. If the child doesn’t talk about his adult friend with their parents, the parents must ask.
  344. It’s social stigma that makes the emancipation of those relationships be seen as an utopia. You just have to remember that a lot of fourteen-year-old teens had active and healthy sexual lives in Brazil before 2009. But how? Wasn’t that supposed to be utopic? That’s because, back then, there was more tolerance. And nothing of value was lost.

  345. Relationships between adults and minors must be, somehow, monitored by the parents. The author doesn’t advocate that children or teens should take such decisions despite what parents think.
  346. The evidence that the human brain only reaches maturity at age 23 doesn’t serve against the emancipation of those relationships: first, because said evidence suggests that age of consent should be 23 and, second, because it implies that two minors shouldn’t date or have relationships before age 23. That’s bad both for minors and adults. You either use the whole evidence or don’t use it at all, rather than using selectively. Plus, there’s evidence against as well. Supposing that the minor’s brain reaches cognitive maturity before age 23, then minors only act irresponsibly because adults don’t teach them to behave in a mature manner. And how can they teach, if the moral panic towards pedophilia discourages adults who are willing to display affection? The child and the teen are stuck with learning from each other, rather than someone experienced (which explains why teenage pregnancy occurs more often in teen couples).

  347. Plus, that argument supposes that people under age 23 are sexually ignorant.

  348. If adults aren’t capable of acting ethically in a relationship with a minor, supposing that such was legalized, how can we expect two minors to act ethically in a relationship between each other, if minors are supposedly less mentally capable?

  349. As said, some parents allow because they see that the child isn’t being harmed and wants to continue.

  350. Children and adolescentes must know their rights. Problem is that no one wants to talk about that, to not lose control over those minors.

  351. The current debate about pedophilia focuses on individuals and not the relationship. They want the adult to live happily despite abstinent, which is a start, but they refuse to think about what makes a relationship positive or not. They either assume it’s always negative, which isn’t true, or do not want to debate it to not lose State funds. They think “how to prevent?” rather than “is it needed to prevent?”

  352. For the author, a new wave of intellectuals who are more open to radical research directions is needed, because the current wave isn’t willing to discuss it. So, a change in science and philosophy is needed before we can make any liberal changes in age of consent laws. I don’t think like that. I agree that reducing stigma to erradication is needed, but I believe that a new wave of politicians and growing acceptance among laymen are also needed. Because many researchers do not want to touch the subject, as they have careers to keep and don’t want public outrages. The public needs to change first.

  353. Homosexuality isn’t fully accepted yet, as there are minors who are scared of coming out.

  354. What if the minor likes it só much that they end up never meeting, in adult life, someone as good as that adult who had a relationship with them during childhood? That also happens between adults. Who never regretted an irreversible break-up?

  355. The moral panic is such that, in the absence of argument, people make up reasons against.

  356. There’s a sincere media effort into making positive and negative relationships look like the same thing. Secondary victimization also is exposed as intrinsic.

  357. A number of researchers reject positive data knowing that it’s a fault against impartiality.

  358. Positive relationships between humans deserve protection, not persecution.

  359. The quantitative disparity between studies on negative consequences and studies on positive consequences shows how much this debate is vice-laden. If the existence of positive relationships becomes public knowledge, it’s a matter of time until people find out that their quality if almost as good as adult relationships. If people think like that, they might think it’s unfair to keep them illegal, which could sum up with the growing displease with age of consent laws (specially in countries where it’s 16 or more). And then, society will change and só on. Keeping people unaware of positive encounters is essential for keeping the society unchanged. And that’s lucrative.

  360. Excess of protection may keep the child from maturing at a natural pace.

  361. The affirmation that “relationships with minors are violent by definition and that anyone who says the opposite is a potential rapist” lacks proofs. It’s double prejudice.

  362. That prejudice is reinforced by the use of forensic samples in research about pedophilia. This problem began to be remedied in the previous decade.

  363. The fact that the current consensus is not impartial is enough reason for it’s rejection.
  364. The fact that the prejudice would endure even after legalization isn’t enough to keep them illegal. There’s prejudice against homosexuals even today and said prejudice is decreasing. I even think that the prejudice against intergenerational relationships would be overcomed easier, because the minor in a positive relationship with an adult matures quicker, including in an intellectual sense, if we owe credit to the testimonials in this book. So, there would be an use. It wouldn’t be something that brings just pleasure. One of the reasons for homosexuality to be still rejected by more conservative people is that homosexuality “serves no other purpose, but pleasure alone”. That’s how I think, but not Rivas.

  365. The standard way to research pedophilia is humiliating and dehumanizing.

  366. The way people currently treat pedophilia is the way people used to treat homosexuality. And now homosexuals nurture prejudice about pedophiles.

  367. There are perfectly sane pedophiles.

  368. Pedophiles must not think that they are ill.

  369. Some (read, Finkelhor) believe that the existence of positive outcomes doesn’t invalidate the fact that adult-child relationships are still immoral. Some people who uphold that vision argue that there are slaves who are happy with their condition. But comparing pedophilia and slavery is nonsense: the essence of slavery is the lack of freedom, which is evil, while the essence of positive relationships between adult and minor is the love between them and the sexual pleasure. So, one is essentially wrong, the other is not. That means that we can’t conclude that pedophilia is always wrong because slavery is always wrong, despite the existence of happy slaves.

  370. In fact, the existence of minors who want those relationships shows how age of consent laws seem to be a form of control and, because of that, a curbing of freedom.

  371. Rejecting those relationships without knowing both sides reveals prejudice, rather than common sense.

23 de outubro de 2012

Anotações sobre “Paedophilia.”

Filed under: Livros, Notícias e política, Saúde e bem-estar — Tags:, , — Yurinho @ 00:19

“Paedophilia: the Radical Case” foi escrito por Tom O’Carroll. Abaixo, algumas anotações feitas sobre o livro dele.

Se você chegou aqui pelo Twitter: eu entendo a preocupação de vocês, tanto de um lado como do outro. Então, para acalmar os ânimos, gostaria de explicar que (1) o texto abaixo é um fichamento comentado de um livro que não foi escrito por mim, (2) as ideias abaixo não são de minha autoria, (3) isto não é um guia pra “estupradores aprendizes” e (4) não é um guia de como garimpar pornografia infantil. Trata-se, literalmente, de uma lista de coisas que aprendi lendo um livro, publicadas aqui pra quem quiser saber do que o livro fala, mas não tem estômago pra ler o livro em seu estado puro. Eu não culpo você por isso. Gostaria de reiterar que você ainda deve cumprir as leis. Se você não concorda com o artigo 217-A do Código Penal, por exemplo, você ainda deve observá-lo, bem como as leis contra pornografia infantil contidas no Estatuto da Criança e do Adolescente.

  1. Há poucos livros sobre atração por menores, porque profissionais têm medo de discutir isso. É um tabu dos nossos tempos. Fora literatura especializada, o povo lembra negativamente ou prefere esquecer.

  2. Porque o debate é extremamente pobre, o autor escreveu seu livro pra contrabalancear a visão majoritariamente negativa sobre o assunto. Ele se diz atraído por menores.

  3. A influência atraída por menores nos movimentos populares existe. Um número de pessoas que não são atraídas por menores querem o fim da idade de consentimento, por razões diversas. Mas o grupo que mais insistiu nisso foi o movimento atraído por menores dos anos setenta e oitenta. Sua pauta fazia sentido. Não era uma questão de obter “licença pra estuprar.”

  4. Se manifestar positivamente sobre relações entre adultos e menores é coberto pelo direito humano de liberdade de expressão. Mas a política tem memória seletiva.

  5. Também alguns setores da igreja, nos anos oitenta, eram favoráveis à suavização de leis de idade de consentimento, argumentando que as leis originalmente concebidas para proteger a juventude estão fazendo mais mal do que bem.

  6. O objetivo do autor não é conduzir pesquisa científica ou oferecer resultados de pesquisas novas, mas oferecer a opinião de um homem atraído por menores sobre a atração por menores. Um debate sobre homossexualidade ou cristianismo que não inclui o homossexual ou o cristão não pode ser chamado de imparcial, porque é um discurso sobre alguém que ignora esse alguém. Não vejo como um debate sobre a atração por menores que não inclui a opinião de adultos atraídos por menores pode ser chamado “imparcial”.

  7. O autor admite que há um problema nas publicações de outros amantes de meninos: escrever como se meninas não existissem. Uma aproximação compreensiva sobre atração por menores requer relevar encontros envolvendo meninas também.

  8. Uma aproximação dessas permitiria uma melhor contra-argumentação ao lidar com feministas radicais, que tratam adultos atraídos por menores como seres exclusivamente masculinos que desejam exclusivamente meninas. Elas usam essa “demográfica de um quarto” pra generalizar toda a atração por menores… e ainda o fazem de maneira pobre.

  9. Parece que sociedades avançadas, de primeiro mundo, têm aversão por sexo em geral. Não apenas o sexo considerado não-normativo, como a homossexualidade ou a atração por menores, mas todas as formas de sexo. Importante observar que esse é um fenômeno majoritariamente ocidental: o Japão é mais estilo.

  10. Este livro é um esforço conjunto do autor com psicólogos, psiquiatras, sociológos, filósofos, médicos, advogados, políticos e sexólogos. Então, tipo, se você tem problemas com leis de idade de consentimento, mesmo sem ser atraído por menores, devia ler isso…

  11. O desejo do homem atraído por menores é, normalmente, inócuo. Um bom número nem quer penetração. Ele não quer fazer nada forçado ou doloroso com a criança. Mas a reação da sociedade a esses sentimentos é que os torna arriscados. Então, o número de relações positivas só não é maior porque há um número de adultos bem intencionados se segurando.

  12. O adulto atraído por menores descobre que gosta dos mais novos quando sua sexualidade “para de crescer” com ele. Ele vai ficando mais velho e o alvo de sua atração continua sendo pessoas antes da puberdade. Os sentimentos não são exclusivamente sexuais, mas também protetores e românticos.

  13. Pelo menos me outras nações, crianças são educadas a jamais se expor a afeto provido de adultos, exceto dos pais. E mesmo o afeto entre os pais tinha que ser feito longe da criança, como os beijos e as carícias entre mãe e pai. Isso cria a sensação de que afeto é algo restrito. Isso, aliado à limitação de informação sexual, leva a criança a não perceber que sexo existe ou encará-lo como algo errado, sujo ou proibido. Talvez a criança duvide que seus pais não sejam virgens. Pra ela faz sentido.

  14. A infância do autor era tão casta que ele teria ficado assustado com a visão dos genitais de seus pais. Ele devia ter morado aqui, no Nordeste, porque eu via meus pais nus quase que o tempo todo, porque o calor exige pouca roupa, pelo menos em casa. Aliás, eu tomava banho com meu pai. Era massa.

  15. Para o adulto atraído por menores, ser atraído por menores é ser normal. Isso porque é algo que cresce com ele. O adulto atraído por menores geralmente não se pergunta “por que”, uma vez que é uma característica natural pra ele. Seria como alguém se perguntar “por que sou normal?”.

  16. A criança generaliza as experiências que teve na infância. “Se eu sou criado assim, outras crianças provavelmente também são.” O choque acontece quando a criança percebe que não é daquele jeito, quando seu preconceito é desafiado. No caso do autor, ele assumiu que todas as crianças temem intimidade com adultos. Eu imagino ele sendo jogado no nordeste brasileiro dos anos noventa. Eu até dividiria meu quarto com ele só pra ver a reação dele quando meu pai me beijasse nos lábios.

  17. Alguns pais instigam medo e culpa sexual na criança, uma atitude atualmente incomum. Tem muito moleque de sete anos usando Whatsapp pra pedir pornô pra outras crianças que fazem o mesmo. O problema desse desvio de comportamento é que precisa ter treze pra ter Whatsapp.

  18. Mas outros pais, como os meus, criam seus filhos de maneira a estimular e saciar sua curiosidade sexual, tornando a criança mais realista. Eu sei que pode parecer estranho, mas meu pai era técnico de segurança do trabalho e tinha um monte de revistas sobre doenças sexualmente transmissíveis, gravidez e contracepção, escritas em forma de quadrinhos. Aos seis anos, eu lia tudo o que via e essas revistas não eram exceção. Isso não me tornou nem um pouco mais interessado em sexo, mas eu sabia como fazer, por que fazer, quais as consequências e como evitar tais consequências. Aprender sobre sexo não necessariamente torna o menor inclinado a praticá-lo.

  19. Um adulto pode ouvir de um menor “posso ver embaixo da sua calça?”, negá-lo e então dizer aos amigos “crianças não estão interessadas na nudez adulta.” Aprender que crianças são inocentes leva o adulto a não acreditar em seus ouvidos quando uma criança faz um pedido decididamente sexual, mesmo que a criança não saiba que é sexual.

  20. Anti-contatos deviam ler isso, parece que o primeiro capítulo é pra eles. Há crianças que querem e que não se sentiriam ofendidas ao serem expostas à sexualidade adulta.

  21. É a crença de que crianças são inocentes que torna a atração por menores inaceitável. Se ficasse claro que há crianças que desejam contato íntimo com adultos fora da família e que tais crianças se beneficiariam desse contato, não haveria razões pra leis de idade de consentimento.

  22. Tal como homssexuais recusaram tratamento mesmo quando postos na cadeia, adultos atraídos por menores recusam tratamento mesmo quando são encontrados. Isso não quer dizer que homossexuais são ruins, mas que adultos atraídos por menores raramente o são.

  23. Uma criança numa relação positiva com um adulto, quando aprende que essa relação deveria ser negativa, fica confusa. Esse preconceito é frequentemente associado também à homofobia.

  24. Depois que o adulto atraído por menores é excluído da sociedade, o que ele tem a perder? Então, ter um trabalho estável e um papel desejável na sociedade mantém adultos atraídos por menores “na linha”, por assim dizer. Infelizmente, isso mantém as bocas de pesquisadores fundados pelo estado bem fechadas.

  25. Numa situação como a do autor, não é difícil imaginar que alguns adultos atraídos por menores odeiem crianças e não queiram ficar perto delas. Me pergunto quantos desses adultos que dizem “odeio crianças” não as amaram um dia.

  26. Se relacionar com uma criança é mais responsabilidade do que com um adulto. Se você fosse um adulto normal, não escolheria isso. atração por menores não é escolha.

  27. Será que a sociedade funcionaria de forma pior sem idade de consentimento? Se não, por que idade de consentimento existe? Se há envolvimentos positivos, por que são todos proibidos, em vez de apenas os envolvimentos negativos? Pra quê desperdiçar dinheiro público punindo quem não fez mal, em vez de nos limitarmos a punir somente os que fazem mal?

  28. Na época de Freud, a sexualidade infantil era vista como um problema a ser eliminado. Hoje, um número de especialistas reflete essa opinião antiquada.

  29. Evidência científica (e também suas memórias, seu safado) mostra que crianças e bebês têm orgasmos. Eu, na minha infância, não os tive porque eu tinha aprendido que era preciso pensar em sexo pra ter um orgasmo e sexo nunca me interessou. Se eu soubesse que podia pensar em outras coisas, talvez eu tivesse experimentado isso.

  30. Qualquer um pode ter orgasmos logo após nascer. Na verdade, tem um artigo chamado Ultrasonographic Observation Of A Female Fetus’ Sexual Behavior In Utero que mostra que há quem se masturbe até antes de nascer, ainda no útero materno… Se você é mãe, talvez tenha bisbilhotado seu feto num momento desses, através do ultrassom.

  31. É, portanto, ridículo impedir menores de expressar sexualidade antes da adolescência, tanto que menores são os maiores violadores de leis de idade de consentimento.

  32. Quando a menina se aproxima da adolescência, os pais podem querer impedi-la de se aproximar do sexo oposto. Assim, uma menina tem menos experiências sexuais na adolescência do que o menino.

  33. Culturalmente, no século passado, meninas eram superprotegidas em comparação com meninos. Você via muitos meninos na rua jogando bola, mas onde estavam as meninas? Em casa.

  34. O estado de latência, diz Kinsey, é cultural. Os pais ficam mais preocupados em coibir a curiosidade sexual infantil quando os pequenos se aproximam da puberdade. Rousseau inclusive advoga atrasar a puberdade, se possível. Baita hipócrita. Não é natural, mas uma exigência social que a criança fique “latente” naquele período.

  35. Tinham que fazer esses estudos no Brasil; um número de amostras não-clínicas estão frescas e maduras pra um Bruce Rind analisar. Aliás, já fizeram. Enquanto que o Relatório Rind mostrou que 37% dos meninos e 11% das meninas concordam que as experiências sexuais que tiveram na infância ou adolescência foram “positivas”, o estudo conduzido em Campinas revelou que esse número em Campinas, Brasil, é de 57%. Importante lembrar que a demográfica do Relatório Rind é ampla (meninos e meninas que tiveram envolvimento sexual com menores ou adultos), enquanto que a demográfica do estudo de Campinas é restrita (somente meninos, considerando apenas relações com adultos).

  36. Por que americanos acham que todas as relações com menores são crueis e forçadas? Porque não conhecem, nem são são estimulados a conhecer, o comportamento sexual de outras culturas. Isso também os leva a impor seus valores sexuais à nações mais fracas.

  37. Em comunidades indígenas isoladas, adultos masturbam bebês e crianças, a fim de lhes dar um sono mais gratificante. Por ventura essas crianças sofrem?

  38. Nessas sociedades, a sexualidade infantil pré-púbere é algo sem valor negativo, se bem que também não é gloficada. É tão banal uma criança se masturbar quanto se coçar.

  39. É, crianças, em sociedades como essas, fazem sexo. Se crianças, ao menos nessas sociedades, têm sexo uma com a outra, por sua própria conta, se deixadas sem supervisão de um adulto, então sexo não é inerentemente danoso a crianças, diz o autor. Ora, algo assim funcionaria na nossa sociedade? Bom, se o problema é gravidez, tem pílula pra isso.

  40. Em algumas sociedades, o único tabu quando se fala de sexualidade infantil é o incesto. Aliás, sabia que incesto não é crime no Brasil (embora o casamento entre consanguíneos seja)?

  41. Há registos de sociedades que praticam sexo anal pra fortalecer o passivo. Bom, dizem que tem que ser macho pra fazer isso; eles aguentam rindo o que eu não aguentaria chorando…

  42. Diante disso, um ocidental cristão capitalista poderia pensar “claro que essas crianças estão sendo prejudicadas, já que índios são retrógrados e não sabem o que fazem.” É etnocentrismo de pico. Você não pode assumir que estão errados só porque são indígenas, você tem que estudá-los pra ver se eles não estão certos.

  43. Há comportamentos em outras culturas que valem a pena imitar, mas também comportamentos que não valem a pena. Como o assunto do livro é atração por menores, o que importa agora é, obviamente, saber se o fato de relações entre adultos e menores funcionarem em outras culturas é o bastante para que culturas ocidentais assumam esse costume, isto é, acabem com a idade de consentimento. Me pergunto quantos anti-contatos leram este livro.

  44. Aprendizado, em humanos, sobrepuja o instinto. Uma criança que não tem qualquer educação sexual, mas tem sua sexualidade coibida em vez disso, será um adulto sexualmente incompetente. Sexo não “virá naturalmente” quando ela se casar. Claro, isso não significa que crianças devem ser forçadas a ter sexo, mas que elas devem ter espaço o bastante para exercitar o que “vem naturalmente” na infância, sob supervisão dum adulto. Do contrário, o que costumava “vir naturalmente” terá que ser reaprendido.

  45. Ser sexualmente educado por alguém mais velho melhora a competência sexual do menor. Observe como gravidez adolescente ocorre mais entre casais de adolescentes, no qual a idade é próxima entre os dois. Já no Japão, onde a idade de consentimento é treze, uma menina que está passando pela puberdade pode aprender responsabilidade com um parceiro mais velho. Isso reflete em suas taxas de gravidez adolescente: apenas quatro em cada mil mães têm o primeiro filho antes dos dezenove anos. Donde decorre que gravidez adolescente não é um problema resolvível pela proibição do contato entre gerações, mas sim pela educação, que pode ocorrer ao aproximar a geração mais experiente da geração mais excitável. Do contrário, jovens terão filhos entre si.

  46. Atividades sexuais são como quaisquer outros jogos pra crianças. Experimentá-las não necessariamente as irá viciar. Tem outras coisas interessantes no mundo.

  47. Se a pessoa entrar na idade adulta já com experiência sexual, terá mais chances de satisfação sexual, aumentando suas chances de se considerar “feliz”.

  48. Em uma sociedade mais permissiva, a criança amadurece mais rápido. Se você a superprotege, a impede de ter várias experiências que poderiam ser úteis mais tarde.

  49. A sexualidade não começa na puberdade. Todos têm sexualidade. O desejo não começa na puberdade também: pode começar antes ou depois. Eu sinto desejo sexual desde os cinco anos. Assim, se alguém argumenta que atração por menores é doença e hebefilia não é doença porque a sexualidade começa na puberdade, essa pessoa está redondamente enganada.

  50. Sexualidade não é como altura ou peso, não dá pra fazer uma “média do desejo”. É diferente em cada um, tanto em natureza, como intensidade. E pessoas com sexualidades distintas podem agir iguazinhas na vida pública.

  51. O que os pais fazem com a criança precoce? Em países mais “desenvolvidos”, a ensinam a ter vergonha de si mesma. Que bom que nasci no Brasil.

  52. Sexualidade infantil pode ser considerada doença por algumas pessoas, pela mesma razão que atração por menores é considerada doença ainda hoje: crianças são “inocentes” e devem permanecer assim.

  53. Se um pai não sabe lidar com a sexualidade infantil de forma construtiva, será que ele capaz de lidar com outros aspectos do desenvolvimento infantil de forma construtiva? Se ele acaba tornando a criança infeliz por sua sexualidade, ele é um mau pai.

  54. Se a criança tivesse que aprender sua sexualidade, não dá pra explicar crianças que desenvolvem intesse homossexual sem nunca aprender sobre homossexualidade.

  55. Não é uma questão de obter licença pra estuprar, mas uma questão de permitir que crianças que querem encontrem adultos responsáveis que também queiram. Contatos danosos ou forçados devem permanecer criminosos.

  56. Embora a criança procure prazer sexual, ela muitas vezes não vê esse prazer como algo diferente (exceto em intensidade) do prazer de jogar bola. Então, mesmo que o objetivo do ato seja prazer, ela não vê as coisas que ela faz como “sexuais”. Então, pra muitas crianças, o significado do ato é diferente daquele atribuído por um adulto. Mas isso é realmente um problema?

  57. No seu blog, o autor disse que o capítulo três foi escrito de maneira deliberadamente provocante, isto é, desconfortável. Difícil pensar em algo mais desconfortável do que o capítulo anterior…

  58. Relações entre adultos e menores passam por estágios. Em geral, adultos atraídos por menores não vão “direto ao ponto”, por assim dizer. Tal como relações entre adultos, elas são construídas devagar. Aí está uma boa diferença entre o que se apaixona e o estuprador: quando você se apaixona, você não faz e vai embora.

  59. A sociedade não faz distinção entre relações positivas e negativas envolvendo crianças. Veja como as notícias envolvendo estupro de vulnerável omitem a palavra da “vítima”. Ninguém está interessado no que o menor pensa, mesmo quando o menor não quer que o adulto seja punido.

  60. “Longe de serem maníacos sexuais sem limites, suas abordagens a crianças são quase sempre afáveis e gentis, e os atos sexuais que ocorrem, normalmente exibição mútua e carícias, lembram o comportamento sexual que ocorre entre crianças.” – D. J. West, Homosexuality Re-Examined.

  61. Sexo forçado com crianças é infrequente, comparado a relações voluntárias. Será que é por isso que três quartos das relações envolvendo menores nunca são descobertas?

  62. Vá pro presídio mais próximo e fale com pessoas com diagnóstico de atração por menores e que foram presas. Daí, vá atrás das vítimas e pergunte a elas como foi. Você pode arrumar dez vítimas e nenhuma delas dirá “ele me forçou”. adultos atraídos por menores que chegam a ter relações com menores raramente forçam o menor a isso. Se forçou, é improvável que seja um adulto atraído por menores, mas sim um estuprador normal.

  63. O pânico moral causa mais dano à crianças do que a própria atração por menores. Tem um artigo lá no Ipce (só não sei aonde) sobre como as crianças do Reino Unido estão nutrindo desconfiança de todo o mundo. Elas estão crescendo sem confiar em ninguém, já que qualquer adulto bem intencionado que se aproxime da criança é automaticamente suspeito. Teve um caso aí em algum lugar em que um homem viu uma criança se afogando num rio e deixou ela morrer, porque tinha medo de que alguém visse ele segurá-la e pensasse que ele fosse um abusador de menores. Isso pra não falar de pais que são presos no Brasil por beijarem os filhos.

  64. É difícil um adulto atraído por menores se aproximar de uma criança pra fazer algo sexual com ela se ele for estranho à criança. Normalmente o homem atraído por menores a conhece antes desse evento. Por isso dizem que esse tipo de contato é mais comum com parentes próximos.

  65. A verdade é que estupro seguido de morte é raro. Não é uma coisa que acontece com tanta frequência quanto as pessoas pensam. Por exemplo, de acordo com o Relatório Rind, eventos sexuais traumáticos envolvendo menores abaixo da idade de consentimento nos Estados Unidos são minoria estatística, com uma estatística grande de envolvimentos considerados “positivos”. Há um estudo similar que aconteceu no Brasil. Mas o que você vê na TV? Só os traumáticos. Você não vê notícias do tipo “menino de oito anos toma banho com o pai e sai ileso” ou “garoto de dez anos está feliz com seu namoro com uma menina de dezesseis”. Isso dá a impressão de que envolvimentos traumáticos são maioria.

  66. O que o homem atraído por menores faz com a criança então? Normalmente lhe acaricia. Um estudo feito por Paul Gebhard com pessoas presas por contato sexual com menores de doze anos revela que 94% dos que se relacionam com meninas e 97% dos que se relacionam com meninos não praticaram penetração vaginal ou anal. Maior parte dos processos envolveu estímulo manual, que pode inclusive não ser mútuo, isto é, somente a criança recebe a ação. Não há necessidade de o adulto ser tocado. Importante: nem todos os adultos atraídos por menores acariciam crianças, com uma boa quantidade deles preferindo permanecer sob a lei por razões óbvias.

  67. o homem atraído por menores espera a criança demonstrar interesse. Se a criança estiver desinteressada, ele não fará nada sexual com ela. Lembrando: o livro é sobre atração por menores e não estupro.

  68. Pessoas que estupram menores (estupro de verdade, isto é, atividade sexual forçada) podem muito bem ser pessoas que preferem adultos, mas, num momento de porre, se aproveitam de uma criança por falta de um parceiro adulto. Se você prefere adultos, não preenche diagnóstico de atração por menores.

  69. Mas relações positivas envolvendo menores não são mérito unicamente de adultos atraídos por menores. Há relações positivas entre adultos e menores nas quais o adulto não tem preferência por menores.

  70. O autor admite, porém, que existem adultos atraídos por menores que também são estupradores, tal como nem todo homem heterossexual é automaticamente cordial com mulheres.

  71. Atração sexual normalmente é acompanhada por sentimentos de romance. Então, se um adulto se sente sexualmente atraído por uma criança, pode também se apaixonar por ela. Quando você ama, não quer machucar.

  72. Para alguns psiquiatras, atração por menores é uma desordem mental na qual o sujeito precisa da cooperação de um menor pra obter orgasmo. Se você força, não há cooperação, uma vez que cooperar é operar junto, ativamente. O menor precisa gostar, senão não tem graça pro adulto atraído por menores. Portanto, o homem atraído por menores não pode intimidar a criança.

  73. Se essas relações forem mesmo inofensivas, por que são proibidas? É que o ocidente tem medo de manifestações não-normativas de sexualidade. Olha quanto tempo a homossexualidade foi tabu. E só agora começamos a falar de identidade de gênero.

  74. Muitas pessoas têm medo da atração por menores porque têm medo da homossexualidade. “Isso não vai fazer meu filho virar gay?” No entanto, quando ainda muito pequeno, o menino se sente atraído por prazer, não por determinado gênero. Não há nexo causal entre relações na infância e desenvolvimento de sexualidade não-normativa. Se o menino já se decidiu, o adulto atraído por menores, se realmente se importa com crianças, terá que se conformar.

  75. Para transformar uma experiência positiva em negativa, comece dizendo que a pessoa foi vitimada. Tratar uma pessoa como vítima a fará se sentir como uma vítima.

  76. Se o menor está curtindo, não é uma “vítima voluntária”, diz o autor, mas só voluntária. Não é vítima do ato (mas pode muito bem ser vítima de outras pessoas).

  77. O uso do termo “vítima voluntária” pode ser uma tentativa do pesquisador de evitar que pensem que ele apoia essas relações. O Relatório Rind é contra esse tipo de terminologia.

  78. Essas relações, se não forem forçadas e se o menor for uma “vítima voluntária”, isto é, se ele quiser essas relações, não posam problema à vida adulta.

  79. Se a criança quase nunca sofre com esses contatos, mas começa a vê-los como ruins depois que cresce, então esse fenômeno é devido à interpretação, não ao ato, que varia conforme o contexto social. Por exemplo, a idade de consentimento mais baixa no México é doze anos. Será que todos os adolescentes que se relacionaram aos doze anos crescem e pensam “poxa, aquele cara abusou de mim”? Donde decorre que vitimização secundária é culpa da forma como a sociedade encara o ato. Maldito o que disse à pessoa que ela era uma vítima e conseguiu convencê-la.

  80. Se uma criança foi estuprada, ela recebe apoio da família e dos amigos. Se a criança teve relações não forçadas e que foram positivas, a família e os amigos tentam lhe fazer sentir vergonha do que aconteceu.

  81. Se os pais forem frios e rígidos e a criança acha alento na companhia de um outro adulto, como você acha que esses pais reagirão se descobrirem? Tratarão a criança de forma ainda pior do que tratavam antes.

  82. Quando uma pessoa é “estuprada”, ela é submetida a exame de corpo e delito. Pegam nos seus genitais e talvez enfiem algo no seu reto. Talvez mais de uma vez. Pra não falar do interrogatório e da reação inflamada dos pais. Será que vale a pena fazer a criança passar por isso se ela não sofreu por causa do ato? Talvez o adulto tenha só lhe acariciado. Aí vem o médico forense e enfia o dedo no moleque. O que é pior?

  83. A reação social pode vitimizar gravemente o menor. Não vale a pena “proteger” o menor de contatos sexuais antes de determinada idade na medida em que o menor não se sente mal por causa deles e não é forçado a esses contatos.

  84. Os adultos podem ordenar que o menor produza evidência falsa. Quer arruinar uma pessoa? Faça seu filho menor de catorze anos dizer que foi molestado por essa pessoa.

  85. Se o menor diz que está se relacionando com um adulto e que está gostando disso, os pais podem fazer levar o caso ao tribunal. Se os pais ganham, manda-se o adulto pra cadeia e a relacionamento acaba. Se os pais perdem, o filho ganha fama de mentiroso, porque isso passa a impressão de que o relacionamento não aconteceu de verdade.

  86. Há médicos forenses que se recusam a fazer exames invasivos de corpo e delito em crianças que não sofreram com a relação. Elas já sofreram o bastante com a reação dos pais, com a perda do amigo adulto e com o interrogatório.

  87. Tem gente, ainda hoje, que diz que é melhor morrer do que viver com sequelas de relações mantidas na infância. Essas pessoas, efetivamente, estão dizendo que qualquer um que se relacionou na infância, quer tenha sido uma relação positiva ou não, deve cometer suicídio.

  88. Nem juízes, nem polícia, nem médicos e nem pais querem saber o que a criança pensa sobre esses contatos. Tome por exemplo a psicóloga que matou seu paciente.

  89. Todos os problemas expostos no capítulo três seriam evitados se não se presumisse que o adulto atraído por menores é alguém que necessariamente fará mal ao menor ou não se presumisse que o menor em relação com um adulto é necessariamente uma vítima.

  90. O autor diz que não há termo médico para designar uma criança que se sente sexualmente atraída por adultos. Ele escreveu o seu livro nos anos oitenta. Hoje há: “teleiófila”. Se bem que teleiófilo também se aplica a adultos atraídos por adultos.

  91. Levando em consideração que uma criança é capaz de manifestar sua sexualidade de formas imprevisíveis, talvez rotular sua sexualidade seja um esforço fútil.

  92. Será que vale a pena separar pessoas atraídas por menores em categorias como: menor, adulto, nepiófilo, pedófilo, hebéfilo, efebófilo, teleiófilo, pró-contato, anti-contato, exclusivo, inclusivo? A pergunta é: será que suas semelhanças não sobrepujam suas diferenças, a ponto de tornar conveniente um termo que enquadre todos (embora com algumas ressalvas)?

  93. De todos adultos atraídos por menores, isto é, que se apaixonam pelo menor, somente um por cento é preso, segundo o livro. Isso é graças ao fato de que você não machuca quando ama de verdade. Então, um monte de adultos atraídos por menores prefere se abster do que correr o risco de ruptura violenta pela polícia, que poderia prejudicar o menor ou estigmatizá-lo. Para o trio RBT, esse número é cerca de um quarto.

  94. Isso mostra que as leis de idade de consentimento não apenas prejudicam o menor como não servem pra impedir relações abaixo de certa idade. Se o menor gostar, ele se comportará normalmente e os pais nem perceberão. Como denunciar uma coisa que não se detecta? Fora que, se a criança estiver realmente sendo abusada, seu comportamento mudará de forma evidente, os pais saberão e irão atrás. Não faz sentido punir só as relações negativas?

  95. Mas espera: se um monte de adultos atraídos por menores nunca é punido e maior parte dos abusadores presos não é atraída por menores, quem é que a lei está punindo? Pais, talvez?

  96. A mídia tem seu papel em censurar esses relatos, por meio de informação seletiva. Eu chamo isso de “censura passiva”. Você não impede as pessoas de encontrá-las, mas nunca fala sobre sua existência, então ninguém procura por elas.

  97. Algumas formas de censura são feitas sob o disfarce de proteger a população contra “conteúdo perturbador”. Tem que ser forte, né? Por isso que não se fazem documentários sobre abatedouros (de onde você obtém seu frango), a menos que seja por uma equipe independente.

  98. Projetos sobre experiências sexuais positivas entre adultos e menores ainda acontecem. O próprio Positive Memories do Titus Rivas recebe experiências novas, que podem ou não aparecer na próxima edição do livro (a última é de 2016). Tem também isto, mas este aqui acabou.

  99. um adulto atraído por menores que se relaciona com uma criança e toma todo o cuidado pra que a criança goste, se sinta bem e não sofra prejuízo pode ainda pensar: “outros adultos atraídos por menores provavelmente não agiriam como eu, minha relação é excepcional, então não se deve permitir todas essas relações, elas devem permanecer ilegais.” Então, ele aprova a própria relação e condena as dos outros, as quais ele não conhece. É um clássico caso de ter preconceito contra sua própria classe. Por que você não faz uma pesquisa?

  100. Uma pessoa que tem amizade com um adulto atraído por menores e sabe que ele não iria machucar crianças, mesmo se envolvendo com uma, pode ainda perguntar: “e os outros adultos atraídos por menores, seriam bonzinhos como você?” Mas o autor diz que você não pode falar do que não conhece. Se eu não sei como os outros agem, como vou presumir que eles agem mal?

  101. É verdade que existem menores que veem essas experiências como negativas quando crescem e também é verdade que existem menores que veem essas experiências como positivas depois que crescem. Mas um tópico que pouco se explora é como os menores veem a punição que o adulto sofre. Há menores que não acham justa a prisão do adulto, tipo aquele menino de nome estranho. Com efeito, alguns deles crescem e pedem suavização da pena ao juiz.

  102. Uma opinião entre menores que tiveram relações positivas: o adulto precisar respeitar os limites impostos pelo menor. Isso reflete na moral do amor responsável e nos critérios éticos do Rivas.

  103. “Mas adultos atraídos por menores que foram presos admitem que as relações foram abusivas”, dizem os críticos. Ao que o autor responde: “meu filho, uma pessoa diz qualquer coisa pra reduzir uma pena de quinze anos.” Se uma confissão falsa pode tornar a vida mais fácil, qualquer um confessa qualquer coisa.

  104. Pode uma criança reciprocar amor, especialmente se erótico? A crença de que não, elas não podem, é o que faz com que um número de adultos atraídos por menores sinta que expressar amor erótico por uma criança “inocente” seja also sempre predatório. Essa sensação de desequilíbrio leva o homem atraído por menores a se negar.

  105. Numa relação entre adulto e menor, o menor (na medida em que não é forçado) acaba se sentindo no mesmo patamar que o adulto. A sensação de subversão do papel de autoridade do adulto acaba confundindo esse adulto. “Ou estou abusando da minha autoridade ou ele tem tanta autoridade como eu.” Parece errado dos dois jeitos: no primeiro caso há abuso de autoridade e no segundo caso há subversão da hierarquia entre adulto e menor.

  106. Uma crença machista é a de que mulheres não têm sexualidade própria, que sua sexualidade deve ser acordada por um homem. Esse mito é análogo à crença de que crianças não têm sexualidade e, se uma criança manifesta interesse, é porque foi corrompida por um adulto.

  107. Essa crença leva o desinformado a pensar que lésbicas não existem. Analogicamente, esse mesmo desinformado pode pensar que a sexualidade começa na puberdade, o que não é verdade.

  108. Porque mulheres são estimuladas a cuidar dos filhos e amá-los e a cuidar de sua intimidade, uma mulher atraída por menores pode pensar “eu não devo ser atraída por menores porque todas as mulheres fazem isso, elas devem ter as mesmas sensações, estou apenas sendo mãe.” Uma mulher sexualmente atraída por seus filhos passa praticamente despercebida, porque não há muita diferença entre o comportamento da mulher atraída por menores e o da normal.

  109. Um ato pode ser sexual, feito a uma criança e ainda sim lhe ser benéfico. Se uma mãe sente prazer sexual por cuidar do filho, seu cuidado é sexual. Mas será que a criança ficaria melhor sem esse cuidado? Se a mulher deixasse de trocar as fraldas do bebê ou de lhe dar banho porque sua nudez lhe seduz, isso faria bem ao menor?

  110. Isso porque o povo pensa que adultos atraídos por menores estupram. Então, uma mulher, sendo menos suspeita, não é acusada de atração por menores apesar de ter a condição e apesar de estar sexualmente envolvida com um menor. Contanto que não seja penetrativo, ela está “a salvo”. Duplamente se ela for amante de meninas. Mas ei, não vá quebrar as leis, isso ainda é ilegal!

  111. Uma pessoa pode ser homossexual e adotar um “estilo de vida heterossexual”. Nesse caso, ela age heterossexualmente por pressão social, não por inclinação natural.

  112. Se por um lado alguns estudiosos admitem que intimidade entre adulto e menor pode ser benéfica a ambos, por outro esses mesmos estudiosos ainda acham isso inadmissível, mesmo que haja benefício. A exemplo disso, ver What’s Wrong With Adult-Child Sex?, de David Finkelhor.

  113. Críticos do movimento dizem que adultos atraídos por menores que defendem essas relações olham pra criança como alguém que precisa somente de prazer, ignorando que elas também precisam de diversão, educação e formas não sexuais de intimidade. Mas o autor diz que essas coisas são complementares, não excludentes

  114. Adultos, por exemplo, têm uma vida sexual mais expressiva do que a criança e isso não impede os adultos de se educarem, se divertirem e nutrirem formas não sexuais de intimidade. Donde decorre que a sexualidade não atrapalha essas coisas.

  115. Existe evidência médica de que relacionamentos entre adultos e menores são mais prejudiciais às partes envolvidas se esses relacionamentos forem indolores, não coercitivos, desejados pelo menor e aprovados pelos pais, em comparação a relações entre adultos feitas sob as mesmas condições?

  116. Parece não haver mental ou física pra isso, apenas social. Mas se há benefício e todo o prejuízo vem da reação da sociedade, então a sociedade deve mudar, quando se fala de expressão sexual infantil.

  117. O autor diz que ele obteria a simpatia dos leitores que mais ferrenhamente se opõem à atração por menores se ele escreve mais sobre o amor. Ele devia ter feito isso; todo esse papo de sexo me faz querer vomitar. Será que ele tem um livro só sobre amor?

  118. A dicotomia entre amor e erotismo leva à problemas afetivos. Suponhamos que você ame “tanto aquela mulher que jamais teria relações com ela”. John Money argumenta que, fazendo isso, o homem procurará mulheres de “menor valor” com quem se satisfazer, a fim de manter uma relação casta com a mulher que ele ama. Faz sentido isso? É por isso que alguns homens vivem no cabaré; têm vergonha de ter relações com quem eles realmente gostam.

  119. A repressão sexual não termina na infância. Ela prossegue. Por isso a vida sexual de casais pode ser um desastre, quando uma das partes têm problemas morais ou não sabe o que fazer.

  120. Outro exemplo da associação entre sexo e culpa é o do homem que sente que precisa fazer um excelente trabalho. Fica então obcecado com o tamanho do seu pênis, quanto tempo consegue permanecer ereto e se pode ou não controlar a ejaculação. Sexo torna-se então uma razão de ansiedade, não de prazer.

  121. Assim, repressão sexual na infância pode causar até impotência na vida adulta. A pessoa não quis pegar gosto pelo sexo e então, na hora em que precisava gostar, não conseguiu.

  122. Repressão sexual infantil prejudica desempenho escolar. Se a criança tivesse liberdade para exprimir e explorar sua sexualidade, desde que sem ofender os limites legais, muitas crianças não precisariam de terapia. Lembre como repressão sexual prejudica adultos. Por que seria diferente com os pequenos?

  123. Terapia sexual consiste em introduzir o adulto às práticas sexuais que ele deveria ter tido na infância, não diferente de brincar de médico ou se acariciar.

  124. Se bem que fetiches podem também aparecer por exposição intensa a determinado objeto na infância, como o fetiche por fraldas ou o meu fetiche por omorashi.

  125. Há uma diferença entre comportamento sexual aberrante (não normativo, mas também não prejudicial às partes envolvidas, como a podolatria ou infantilismo parafílico) e o comportamento sexual perverso (não normativo e prejudicial às partes envolvidas, como o assassinato sexual e o estupro).

  126. o homem atraído por menores que escreveu este livro não diz que atração por menores é melhor que qualquer outro desvio sexual que não é motivado por desejo de ferir. Ele está fazendo o oposto do que os homossexuais fizeram com o adulto atraído por menores que se engajaram no movimento de liberação homossexual nos anos setenta e oitenta. Quando o congresso americano disse que relevaria as exigências dos homossexuais se eles cortassem conexões com organizações de defesa da atração por menores, os homossexuais prontamente o fizeram, tentando ganhar aprovação da população comprando seu discurso de que atração por menores é ruim. Os homossexuais mais jovens, que não conhecem bem a história do movimento LGBT desde seus primórdios, ignoram esse fato, mas houve um tempo em que o movimento atraído por menores e o movimento gay eram, sim, quase a mesma coisa. Os patriarcas da liberação homossexual não viam relações intergeracionais como moralmente erradas.

  127. “O trabalho de Prescott lança uma luz interessante sobre o preconceito comum de que sexo e violência sempre andam juntos, um ato duplo inseparável, como o Gordo e o Magro.” Essa é a metáfora mais inesperada pra essa discussão.

  128. A atitude sexual de uma pessoa depende de como ela é sexualmente educada na infância. Se a criança associa sexualidade com gentileza, calor e afeto, ela demonstrará sua sexualidade dessa forma. Se a criança associa sexualidade com culpa, se afastará da sexualidade. Se ela associar sexualidade com violência, ao passo que ela associa violência como demonstração de poder… Bom, você já entendeu.

  129. Se a solução para o comportamento violento fosse a repressão sexual, sociedades cristãs deveriam ter menos casos de estupro do que sociedades indígenas, once há menos repressão. Na verdade, muitas pessoas extremamente violentas são extremamente conservadoras sexualmente.

  130. Os quatro capítulos precedentes se referiam à sexualidade infantil, como as pensam que relações entre adultos e menores funcionam, como elas relamente funcionam e à necessidade que a criança tem de expressão sexual. Agora, como a lei deve lidar com essas coisas?

  131. A sociedade continua negando que crianças são seres sexuais. Meninos de sete anos vendo pornô? Não, isso é uma ocorrência isolada. Meninas de doze passando nudes? Ah, é um problema de educação… Alunos dando encima de professor? Intriga da oposição, meu caro! Se continuarmos ignorando a sexualidade infantil, as leis continuarão a se comportar erraticamente.

  132. Um número de pessoas, inclusive adultos atraídos por menores, são contra a legalização porque a veem como uma utopia. O autor pretende mostrar formas realistas de lidar tanto com relações intergeracionais como com a sexualidade infantil.

  133. Muitas leis feitas pra proteger as mulheres tinham como base a crença de que elas eram o sexo frágil. Consequentemente, essas leis, que impediam a mulher de trabalhar em certas áreas, acabavam por restringir seu acesso a trabalhos os quais elas eram capazes de exercer. Uma lei é injusta se baseada em preconceito.

  134. Em nome da “proteção”, a criança não é ouvida. Não importa se ela gosta do adulto ou se ela não se sente prejudicada; é errado e pronto. Esse também é o proceder de algumas organizações ativistas dos direitos das crianças. Tiram sua liberdade e a põem nas mãos das autoridades. Pode sair algo bom disso? Você colocaria sua liberdade na mão de uma autoridade? Isso é proteger?

  135. Se o serviço social não te convencer de que é necessário punir o adulto, azar o seu. Você pode até ser pai do menino, você tá errado se disser que o adulto em relação com seu filho, mesmo sendo de confiança, não deve ser punido. Você, pai, não sabe o que é melhor.

  136. “Se você não confessar que é culpado, continuaremos trazendo seu namoradinho aqui, pra outro exame de corpo e delito, pra outro interrogatório, ele vai perder outro dia de aula, os amigos dele o tratarão diferente, a relação dele com seus pais continuará deteriorando, e, no final das contas, realmente é culpa sua, mesmo que o menino tenha desejado isso, mesmo que ele esteja feliz, pois na verdade nunca esteve tão triste, ele só não sabe que está triste ainda.”

  137. A proposta central do autor é a abolição da idade de consentimento. Normalmente, isso significa que menores estariam sob as mesmas proteções da lei normal de estupro (artigo 213 do Código Penal, por exemplo).

  138. À época da escrita do livro, a Holanda estava considerando abolição da idade de consentimento. Então, não, adultos atraídos por menores não são os únicos que defendem essa abordagem e não são os únicos que veem os problemas de proibir relacionamentos com base em idade.

  139. Os principais defensores dessa ideia eram do próprio poder judiciário. Eles diziam que há sexo (coito) e atividade sexual. As atividade sexuais não deveriam ser banidas com base em idade, mas sexo penetrativo deveria permanecer proibido, se a parte penetrada tivesse menos de doze anos.

  140. Associações protestantes também queriam o fim da idade de consentimento, mas com a ressalva de que uma parte não podia seduzir a outra; o desejo tinha que ser espontâneo em ambos. Associações católicas dizem que um adolescente de doze anos já pode dar a palavra final sobre as relações em que se envolve.

  141. Uma crítica comum: o consentimento da criança é inválido porque ela não pode dizer “não” a um adulto maior e mais forte. Para uma resposta, ver Positive Memories.

  142. A lei deve se preocupar com o dano e com a validade do consentimento, não com a idade dos participantes. O fato de alguém ter menos de catorze anos não implica que ele está sempre sendo estuprado quando entra em atividade sexual com alguém.

  143. Em certos lugares, a maioridade penal é doze ou até dez (no Brasil, é dezesseis ou dezoito, não lembro). Então, se uma pessoa pode responder criminalmente por seus atos aos doze anos, isso é porque ela tem maturidade de maquinar e agir segundo uma intenção ruim. Logo, não faz sentido que uma pessoa madura o bastante pra pagar por um roubo ou assassinato não seja madura o bastante pra atividade sexual.

  144. Com algumas modificações, essas leis propostas podem se aplicar também a pessoas que têm problemas mentais e, portanto, estão sob cuidados de outros.

  145. Dano ou ameaça de dano ainda deve ser crime. Por exemplo: penetrar uma menina que é simplesmente muito pequena é arriscado demais pra ser permitido, mas não a carícia íntima. Então, dependendo do ato e da constituição física do menor, o juiz deve verificar se o ato foi arriscado ou não e punir atos arriscados, mesmo que a criança tenha dito “sim” a eles. Para uma conclusão similar, ver meu texto Estupro de Vulnerável, na seção “É Possível Consentir Com Prejuízo?”.

  146. Se a relação for casta, não há necessidade de punir por estupro, óbvio. Se bem que tem muita mulher por aí que inventa que foi estuprada e tem gente que compra isso.

  147. Relações nepiófilas (com bebês) ainda seriam proibidas, mesmo que não penetrativas e só superficiais, não porque supõe-se que o bebê não gosta disso, mas porque não é possível provar que ele gostou.

  148. Mas como podemos implementar isso, se crianças não sabem o que fazem? Bom, o livro foi escrito na década de oitenta e hoje temos aula de educação sexual. Esta geração é mais sexualmente informada do que a geração anterior.

  149. O problema é que dizer que a criança não sabe o que faz supõe que todos os atos sexuais são iguais. Se a criança está bem informada pra um abraço ou aperto de mão, isso não implica que ela está informada pra qualquer coisa penetrativa, mas por que não estaria suficientemente informada pra carícias, que são fricção entre duas peles, tal como o abraço e o aperto de mão?

  150. Mas, se noventa e cinco por cento dos adultos atraídos por menores não estão interessados em penetração, ao passo que penetração é um traço comum em relações negativas, não faria sentido uma idade de consentimento pelo menos pra conjução carnal? Bom, deve haver uma idade mínima por questões de segurança, diz o autor. E ele diz que essa idade é doze. Assim, se transferirmos as coisas pra leis brasileiras, tomando o 217-A como referência, a lei ficaria algo como “conjunção carnal com menor de doze anos, com ou sem seu consentimento, ou ato libidinoso não aprovado pelo menor ou pelos pais do menor” seria crime. Não haveria idade de consentimento pra atos libidinosos, mas somente pra conjunção carnal. Se pudéssemos flexibilizar a proposta do autor, uma idade de consentimento restrita somente à conjunção carnal poderia até ser maior que catorze, já que ela não incluiria carícias, beijos nem nada que não fosse penetrativo. Idealmente, eu acho que idade de consentimento pra penetração deveria ser debatido em termos municipais, em vez de termos uma só pra nação inteira.

  151. Tem um monte, um monte, de menores que não respeita leis de idade de consentimento. Nos Estados Unidos, um grande número de jovens perde a virgindade aos quinze anos, sendo que a idade de consentimento nos Estados Unidos é dezesseis, nos estados mais liberais. No documentário Age of Consent: Dream or Nightmare? (valeu, Hikari), uma das primeiras coisas que os entrevistados dizem é “no Brasil, adolescentes chegam aos catorze anos com uma vida sexual já completa.” Todos esses menores sofreram? Talvez eles sofressem mais se todas essas relações fossem descobertas e punidas pela justiça. O número de menores que viola leis de idade de consentimento gira em torno de um quinto de toda a população com menos de dezesseis.

  152. A educação sexual muitas vezes se resume à biologia: ensinam pra quê cada parte do seu corpinho serve. Mas, como eles pensam que manter o jovem desinformado sobre o ato em si o desencorajará a tentar, não são ensinados meios, por exemplo, de contracepção ou prevenção à doenças sexualmente transmissíveis, porque os mais conservadores pensam que isso equivale a estimulá-los a fazer sexo. Eu aprendi sobre essas coisas aos seis anos com meu pai e tive aula de educação sexual na terceira série, se não me engano, e sou virgem aos vinte e cinco. O estado precisa ser franco consigo mesmo: “se eles vão fazer de qualquer jeito, pelo menos façam sem se ferrar.” Talvez aprender que existe um risco fatual os desencoraje. Se não o fizer, pelo menos eles transarão com mais responsabilidade.

  153. Tentar suprimir a sexualidade infantil pra que a criança não se meta em problemas é como recomendar celibato a um adulto pra não pegar DST. É drástico, desnecessário e desconfortável.

  154. Se um jovem pegar uma DST, ele pode pensar: “isso prova que eu não sou mais virgem, posso me meter em problemas se eu falar disso pra alguém.” Ele então esconde o problema, até ser tarde demais.

  155. Isso poderia ser resolvido se a sexualidade infantil não fosse praticamente ilegal. Porque a maioria das manifestações de sexualidade abaixo dos catorze anos, como “atos libidinosos”, é proibida pela lei de estupro de vulnerável.

  156. Se o homem atraído por menores se sente atraído por menores antes da puberdade, ao passo que seu desejo muito raramente é penetrativo, então não são adultos que engravidam maior parte dos menores. Na verdade, gravidez adolescente parece ser uma ocorrência mais comum em casais de jovens, não em casais intergeracionais. O nome da atração por menores púberes é hebefilia.

  157. Aliás, como é que essa mulher não foi presa por estupro de vulnerável? Mulher pode, homem não pode? Falemos de isonomia. Claro que uma coisa dessas não ocorreria no Brasil, porque um moleque de doze anos não responde legalmente por seus atos. Mas uma coisa desses pode acontecer em lugares onde uma pessoa pode responder legalmente por seus atos antes de chegar à idade de consentimento.

  158. A declaração dos direitos da criança, da ONU, implica que o controle estatal e parental exercido sobre a criança é sempre feito pro seu próprio bem. O capítulo sete indaga até que ponto isso é verdade.

  159. Muitas vezes, a criança pode fazer uma boa decisão a despeito dos pais e do estado. Pode ser que uma escolha feita pelos pais ou pelo estado seja pior do que uma escolha que a criança poderia ter feito sozinha na mesma situação. Fora os casos em que pais e estado fazem mal a criança de propósito.

  160. Se a criança comete uma ofensa criminal, pode ser decorrente de um problema de desenvolvimento. Sendo assim, quem deveria lidar com isso são os pais, não a lei, a qual deveria ser último recurso.

  161. “Esse cara é doido; nunca uma criança sabe o que é melhor pra ela!” E nos casos em que a criança é forçada, legalmente, a ficar um pai disposto a bater nela até a morte, depois de um divórcio? A criança diz “não quero ficar com ele, porque me bate”, mas o estado diz “sua mãe e seu pai decidem isso por você, porque é direito deles e é meu dever garantir o direito de todos.” Todos menos o seu, guri.

  162. Por ventura o autor quer que crianças tenham tanto direito como adultos? Não, mas é preciso lhe dar alguns direitos-chave. Por exemplo, a criança deveria escolher com qual pai quer ficar em caso de divórcio, mas isso não quer dizer que ela deveria ter também o direito de votar, por exemplo.

  163. Infância é coisa de pouco tempo. Nem sempre esse conceito existiu. “Infância” só começa a existir a partir do século dezessete. Como eram as coisas antes disso?

  164. Antes do século dezessete, adultos tinham alguns jogos sexuais com crianças, tipo lhes pegar os genitais, não muito diferente de pais brasileiros antes de 2009.

  165. Se a criança é um ser assexual, qual é a necessidade de pais conservadores punirem a masturbação dos filhos? Se crianças são assexuais, por que se masturbam? Donce decorre que a “inocência”, isto é, a assexualidade infantil não é natural. Crianças têm sexualidade.

  166. Nós vemos a criança de forma diferente hoje, mas essa forma não é a correta. Estamos julgando as crianças pelo que achamos que elas deveriam ser, não pelo que elas são.

  167. Crianças indígenas amadurecem mais rapidamente em termos de responsabilidade e aptidão física. Por que não as nossas? Nossa sociedade não quer que a criança seja madura antes dos dezoito. Ela nega que crianças são feitas pra amadurecer em diferentes velocidades. “Você é jovem demais pra saber o que você quer.”

  168. Óbvio que isso tem raízes no sistema capitalista: a criança precisa estudar pra ter um bom emprego e, pra isso, precisa de proteção. Mas a sociedade, assumindo que criança nunca sabe de nada, a superprotege, o que efetivamente impede que ela saiba de alguma coisa adulta (supondo que não descubra sozinha). Esse excesso de proteção retarda seu desenvolvimento, o que se refletirá na vida adulta.

  169. Há três opções pra criança que cresce: negligenciar os estudos e trabalhar cedo, persistir nos estudos e trabalhar tarde, ou trabalhar e estudar ao mesmo tempo.

  170. A criança, diz o autor, deveria ter o direito de escolher seus pais. Na prática, isso poderia ocorrer pelo direito de fugir de casa e se colocar pra adoção.

  171. Se vivêssemos numa grande comunidade, como uma grande família (criação comunitária), em vez de em pequenas famílias, a criação seria mais leve para os pais biológicos e a criança poderia procurar um adulto que amasse mais, com o qual poderia desenvolver melhor suas potencialidades. Era assim na Idade Média, né?

  172. Comunidades hippies dos anos sessenta davam às crianças liberdade sexual total… mas também liberdade pra usar drogas, brincar com armas carregadas e não ir pra escola se não quisessem, o que as tornava analfabetas. Então, diz o autor, é preciso não confundir direitos da criança com licenciosidade infantil. Quais direitos conceder?

  173. Crianças que são dadas muita liberdade “se viram”. Talvez a incapacidade alguns adultos de se virarem sozinhos tenha raízes em superproteção na infância.

  174. Não saberemos quais direitos daremos a nossas crianças se não pensarmos em que tipo de adultos queremos que elas sejam, mesmo que elas venham a rejeitar nossa visão de adulto. A forma como criamos nossas crianças está as adoecendo. Repensar essa criação requer que repensemos o que esperamos dessas crianças.

  175. Embora os pais tenham privilégios sobre os filhos, os papeis podem se inverter em certas ocasiões se isso for necessário ao bem-estar dos membros da família.

  176. O direito do filho não deve interferir com o do pai. Um direito só deve ser concedido a um menor se ele não puder se arruinar por causa desse direito.

  177. Pais cometem erros, logo sua lei é falha. Então as ordens dos pais devem comportar um grau de flexibilidade, caso fique claro que elas não estão servindo.

  178. Se a criança pede algo que pode lhe fazer mal, mas não irá feri-la, adoecê-la ou matá-la, permita que ela tenha o que pede e sinta as consequências. Por exemplo: os pais dizem pro menino dormir cedo, mas ele quer ficar acordado até tarde. Deixe-o, mas ele deve acordar cedo pra ir pra escola. Ele sentirá sono no dia seguinte e verá que a ordem dos pais faz sentido. A sensação de que as ordens dos pais não são arbitrárias faz a criança confiar nos pais.

  179. Uma pessoa pode decidir sobre si mesma e sua conduta na medida em que não interfira com as decisões e a conduta dos outros. Acredito que o direito da criança é limitado pela responsabilidade paterna de zelar por ela.

  180. Todos devem ser igualmente livres (o que eu não posso fazer, você também não deveria), mas a vantagem de um deveria suprir a desvantagem de outro.

  181. Você só deve interferir com o comportamento da criança se ela der provas patentes de que precisa de intervenção pra não se ferrar. Um tipo de educação não intrusiva como essa já existe no Emílio, mas não dessa forma.

  182. Mas como é que essa discussão toda entra no terreno da sexualidade infantil? É que atos libidinosos, especialmente se não penetrativos, são geralmente inofensivos e nos preocupamos demais com eles. Há outras áreas mais importantes do comportamento infantil que não recebem a mesma atenção apesar de serem, por natureza, mais controversas.

  183. “Nosso forte tabu quanto a relações entre adultos e crianças levou à aplicação das penas mais severas até para os mais inocentes atos de afeição. A pena não é apropriada ao crime e provavelmente não cura nem impede. Nós podemos e devemos descriminalizar relações sexuais entre pessoas consentidas. Leis contra assédio e sequestro já estão nos manuais cobririam casos nos quais ocorre abuso, força ou abdução. Podemos lidar melhor com os casos restantes através de uma melhor educação sexual, atitudes sexuais mais esclarecidas, e respeito pelos direitos da criança.” Richard Farson.

  184. A criança deve ter direito de recusar essas relações. Mas, para isso, ela deve ser educada a dizer “não” quando não quer. Meu sobrinho é bastante respondão, acho que ele ia aprender rapidinho. Aliás, ele tem doze anos, 1,75m, 67kg e pratica boxe tailandês, enquanto eu tenho vinte e cinco anos, 1,72m, 58kg e pratiquei umas aulas de caratê na adolescência. Se ele, por qualquer razão, resolvesse me forçar, acho que eu é que não poderia dizer não pra esse tanque. Se ele me desse um murro, eu partiria ao meio.

  185. O que realmente impede o homem atraído por menores de agir segundo sua sexualidade não é a lei (que não o pega na maioria das vezes, conforme previamente exposto e atualmente confirmado por estudos como o Relatório Rind), e sim o medo de ser rejeitado pela criança. Se o homem atraído por menores realmente se apaixona pela criança, fazer alguma coisa que a perturbe o faria se sentir culpado, mesmo que nunca fosse preso.

  186. O corpo da criança pode, metafóricamente, dizer “não” também: você não faria nada penetrativo com uma menina de cinco anos, certo? Isso a traumatizaria.

  187. O medo que as pessoas sentem ao ouvir que dois homens ou duas mulheres estão cuidando de uma criança não é um medo de que os responsáveis sejam incapazes ou de que a criança crescerá infeliz, mas um medo de que a criança não entre no estereótipo esperado.

  188. A criança filha de pais solteiros pode receber preconceito. Quando o professor diz “desenhe sua família”, pode ser que ela desenhe um pai e uma mãe só porque é o que tá todo o mundo desenhando.

  189. A Paedophile Information Exchange protagonizou campanhas pela abolição da punição corporal nas escolas britânicas. Aposto que você não sabia disso.

  190. A Declaração dos Direitos da Criança não fala do direito do menor à expressão sexual. Então um pessoal dos Estados Unidos propos que a criança tivesse oito direitos relativos à sexualidade: proteção legal, controle sobre o próprio corpo, informação sexual, crescimento emocional, prazer sensual, aprendizado sobre o amor, escolha de parceiro, proteção contra supressão sexual.

  191. O capítulo oito é talvez o mais relevante hoje, pois trata de consentimento. Pra alguns estudiosos, o problema do consentimento é a única coisa que fundamenta o estado de ilegalidade de relações entre adulto e menor.

  192. Consentimento é válido se:

    1. o menor está ciente das consequências a longo e curto prazo;

    2. o menor sabe o que quer e de quem quer;

    3. o menor pode recusar se desejar.

  193. Há adultos em boa condição física e boa condição mental que não preenchem todos os requisitos. Então, subir com um terceiro critério prejudicaria a imparcialidade do debate ou colocaria em risco o consentimento informado entre adultos.

  194. Relações não penetrativas são inconsequentes: uma criança que está informada o bastante pra um abraço ou aperto de mão, está informada pra um beijo ou carícia, mesmo que íntima. No final das contas, são duas peles em contato, nada além disso. Cadê as consequências?

  195. Relações não-penetrativas, se feitas de mútuo acordo são menos perigosas do que andar numa rua movimentada ou sair de noite na cidade em que eu moro (a chance de você morrer é maior que a de ser assaltado aqui). E eu vejo crianças fazendo ambos o tempo todo. Lembra do menino que fez tratamento hormonal aos doze anos e parecer uma menina? Se arrependeu. E passou por cirurgia pra tirar os seios. Que bom que ele não chegou a remover o pênis, né? Então, ninguém reclama de crianças fazendo coisas muito mais perigosas do que serem íntimas de adultos dos quais gostam.

  196. O grande risco de relações consentidas é o estigma social. Se descobrirem, a criança pode ser traumatizada pela reação dos pais, das autoridades e do serviço social. Importante lembrar que estamos falando aqui de relacionamentos nos quais o menor deseja participar ou mesmo que foram iniciados pelo menor. O autor não está dizendo que estupro não faz mal.

  197. Mas se uma relação humana positiva merece proteção, não é a relação que está errada, mas a atitude social. Proibir essas relações é como dizer que homossexualidade deve ser reprimida “pelo bem do homossexual”, isto é, porque a sociedade é homofóbica. “Não queremos que o homossexual sofra, então vamos proibi-los de agirem segundo sua sexualidade porque, mesmo que não sofram por causa de suas relações, sofrerão por causa da homofobia.” Não soa absurdo?

  198. Não é interessante que a única matéria em que falamos de consentimento infantil é sexo, e só pra dizer que elas não podem nunca consentir? A criança pode dar consentimento informado em ter fé? E no entanto, religião lhe é forçada pelos pais.

  199. Uma criança indígena que é iniciada sexualmente pode ser vista como corrompida, mas uma criança que aprende a ser fanática por um time de futebol ou por uma doutrina religiosa não é vista como tal.

  200. Isso ocorre porque esse tipo de manipulação é vista como positiva. Dada a inocuidade da sexualidade saudável, porque a iniciação sexual não poderia ser?

  201. Relações entre adulto e menor não necessariamente incluem manipulação. Relações entre dois adultos não necessariamente estão livres de manipulação.

  202. Você pode falar de envolvimentos positivos pra uma pessoa e ela pode se apressar em dizer que é mentira, como se isso nunca acontecesse. É o caso dos psicólogos que reinterpretam a experiência do menor e lhe dão um significado negativo.

  203. É mais fácil sofrer dano permanente por causa de um pai que pune sua sexualidade do que por um adulto que te mostrou como se faz. Antes de prosseguir, tenho que lembrar que essas relações são ilegais e seria antiético praticá-las.

  204. Jogar uma criança na piscina pra que ela aprendesse a nadar poderia ser tão traumático quanto um estupro e, desde que a criança não se afogue, isso não é visto como ofensa criminal.

  205. Se você tem doze anos, já sabe quando uma pessoa quer fazer algo sexual com você. O entendimento do menor cresce com ele. Alguém de doze não é tão ingênuo quanto alguém de seis, se é que ainda existe criança ingênua.

  206. Suponhamos que não houvesse sedução, isto é, não houvesse o pedido, a atração deliberada, o “ei, eu tô aqui, existindo”, a cantada, como é que nossos relacionamentos começariam?

  207. Atração antre adultos e adolescentes (hebefilia ou efebofilia, quando é o adulto quem se sente atraído, ou teleiofilia, quando é o adolescente que se sente atraído pelo adulto) é mais comum e não é tido por anormal. Ainda assim, pode ser ilegal. No Brasil, onde a idade de consentimento é catorze, efebofilia não encontra barreiras legais, nem a hebefilia, na medida em que o púbere tem catorze.

  208. Um monte de adultos suborna, manipula e força crianças pra seu próprio bem, por exemplo, pra tomar uma injeção. O autor está implicando aqui que a reprovação de “manipulação” sexual só é possível se a pessoa ver sexo como negativo. Sexo precoce é negativo, logo a manipulação sexual é negativa. Se a sociedade tivesse menos pudor sexual, não seria dessa forma, pois a criança tem sua vontade dobrada o tempo todo mesmo. A diferença é que o homem atraído por menores não força o menor. Então, se o homem atraído por menores não conseguir obter o sim da criança, a menos que seja um estuprador, ele desiste. Falando aqui de relações positivas; manipulação por sexo apenas ainda é errado.

  209. Semanticamente, “consentimento” é aprovação a um ato que lhe envolve. Qualquer lei que limite a liberdade de alguém precisa ser justificada. Então, se a lei criminaliza um grande número de atividades consentidas, é a lei que precisa se justificar, pois está interferindo num grande número de contratos particulares feitos livremente. Nessas condições, a lei precisa ser reexaminada, diz livro.

  210. “Puberdade” não é “pubescência”. Puberdade é o momento na vida do adolescente em que ele se torna capaz de procriar. Pubescência é o desenvolvimento de características sexuais secundárias (pelos, crescimento dos seios, aumento de massa muscular, entre outros).

  211. As crises da adolescência são fruto também de desinformação sobre as mudanças que ocorrem no corpo e na mente durante esse período. O que fazem as crises adolescentes são um grande número de perguntas que não encontraram resposta ainda.

  212. Isso acontece também porque a sexualidade infantil não é reprimida. A criança é espontânea em suas expressões de sexualidade. Isso faz com que aprender sobre coisas sexuais seja fácil pra ela. Basta lembrar de como crianças são curiosas sobre seus próprios corpos e os dos outros. Se elas tivessem as respostas que procuram, seriam adolescentes mais equilibrados.

  213. Os críticos dizem que um relacionamento entre um adulto e um menor ainda é desigual, mesmo que consentimento fosse admitido. Quem leu Positive Memories sabe, contudo, que um adulto que ama o menor não usará sua força física pra submeter o menor, ao passo que o menor se beneficia da experiência e da sabedoria do adulto.

  214. É mais difícil um menor se ferrar num relacionamento com um adulto do que numa relação com outro menor. Falando de “relacionamento”, não de estupro.

  215. Relação paternal é desigual, mas muita coisa boa sai da relação casta entre pai e filho. Donde decorre que desigualdade de poder não justifica leis de idade de consentimento. O mesmo pode ser dito de relações educacionais (professor e aluno).

  216. O controle da mãe sobre o filho, mesmo depois da idade adulta, é um fenômeno cultural comum no ocidente. Ela nunca deixa de ver o filho como uma criança. Bom, isso depende; as mães do meu bairro não são exatamente assim, não…

  217. Normalmente, é a mãe quem impõe os tabus sexuais. Minha mãe se reservou disso e meu pai nunca teve problemas com minha sexualidade infantil, nem me impediu de ler, aos seis anos, alguns manuais de educação sexual que ele tinha por ali.

  218. Uma pessoa ganha muito mais numa relação desigual, mas positiva, porque a educação só se dá em relações desiguais. Um precisa saber mais para haver ensino. Em adição, a proteção é mais garantida quando é alguém mais forte a exercê-la.

  219. Não case por amor, porque amor passa e aí vem o divórcio, nos quais até seus bens podem estar em apuros. Aliás, Jesus também concorda que, se possível, é melhor não casar, mesmo que isso signifique passar a vida celibatário (Mateus 19:9-11). Então, mesmo que vocês se amem, pensem se casar vale mesmo a pena.

  220. Se uma criança toma o papel ativo numa relação sexual, o adulto pode dizer adeus à sua autoridade. A criança o verá como submisso, ao menos em algum sentido.

  221. O capítulo dez abre com a afirmativa de que pornô infantil traz mais nojo à pessoas normais do que relações reais, supondo que sejam não penetrativas e não forçadas. É, ele tem razão, eu tô considerando parar de ler.

  222. A razão disso é que pornografia infantil é um negócio. Como ela pode ser diferente de exploração sexual? Em última instância, ela difere de prostituição?

  223. O menor pode gravar pornografia de si mesmo, distribuí-la e achar isso o máximo. Bom, isso acontece, mas se ele vendesse essa pornografia, quero dizer, se ele tivesse uma fonte de renda sendo ainda tão novo, ele não iria querer largar os estudos? Pelo menos aqui, um monte de moleque só vai pra escola porque precisa de um diploma de ensino médio pra trabalhar em algo que dê grana.

  224. Prostituição infantil é um problema associado à pobreza. Crianças de melhores condições provavelmente não se venderiam. Muitos casos de prostituição infantil são um sintoma de má administração estatal.

  225. O autor diz que há outra causa pra prostituição infantil: restrição sexual. Na Era Vitoriana, o código de monogamia era muito estrito. Isso tornou a prostituição um negócio e tanto. Por que o tráfico de drogas é um negócio tão lucrativo? Porque drogas são proibidas. Enquanto houver quem compre, os traficantes poderão se beneficiar da falta de competição. No caso da prostituição, como desejo sexual é um negócio inato, cujos níveis não são escolhidos, sempre tem gente querendo pular a cerca. Então o prostíbulo pode ganhar muito aumentando os preços (baixa concorrência, trabalho perigoso, demanda persistente), o que tornam os cafetões gente rica. Se a sexualidade não fosse tabu, a prostituição deixaria de dar tanto lucro. Até que faz algum sentido.

  226. A campanha contra pornografia infantil começou por causa dos cristãos com influência midiática e muita informação dada pela mídia da época estava errada.

  227. O autor diz que já havia leis que protegiam crianças contra possíveis abusos relacionados à pornografia infantil, não havendo necessidade de um lei contra toda a pornografia infantil. Em adição, nunca houve qualquer evidência, na data em que a lei foi sugerida na Britânia, de que pornô infantil da pesada estava sendo produzido ou distribuído. A pornografia infantil disponível na época era “softcore”, não muito diferente de nudes que adolescentes mandam entre si (diga-se de passagem, sim, passar nudes nas quais a pessoa nua tem menos de dezoito anos é distribuição de pornografia infantil e, portanto, crime). Eu li em algum lugar que esse tipo de pornografia só foi banido no Japão em noventa e nove.

  228. À época em que o livro foi escrito, a maioria dos argumentos contra pornografia infantil lidavam com o efeito dessa pornografia no consumidor. Ele terá vontade de atacar uma criança se ficar viciado nessas imagens ou histórias? Hoje, não se faz mais isso, porque ficou patente que a presença de pornografia legal (como o Xtube) diminui as taxas de estupro. No caso de pornografia infantil, pelo menos até 2007, a simples posse dessa pornografia não é crime na República Tcheca porque permite que o homem atraído por menores se satisfaça sem tocar uma criança real. Então, o argumento de que “pornô é a teoria, abuso é a prática” não encontra base empírica. Lembrete: não consuma ainda assim, porque ainda é ilegal aqui.

  229. Pornografia que não causa prejuízo ao modelo pode ser usada terapeuticamente. “Ora, mas que pornô não faz mal ao menor?” As nudes que ele tira de si próprio por conta própria, bem como pornografia de ficção (shotacon, por exemplo).

  230. Existe pornografia infantil que machuca o menor. Ouvi dizer que existe, em algum lugar obscuro da Internet, vídeos de crianças morrendo pra propósito de excitação sexual de alguém. No entanto, diz o autor, parece ser uma ocorrência raríssima. Isso porque os maiores consumidores de pornografia infantil (excluindo os menores de idade) são os adultos atraídos por menores e eles, se devemos crédito aos capítulos anteriores, não querem fazer mal aos menores de que gostam. Então, uma pornografia que causa dano físico ou mental ao modelo não faria sucesso com eles e, provavelmente, movimentaria pouco dinheiro.

  231. Feministas não gostam de pornografia porque, segundo elas, o pornô reforça a submissão e objetificação da mulher. Mas nem todas as feministas pensam assim.

  232. Se você for ao Xtube, você verá um monte de mulher que faz pornô de graça, porque isso a faz se sentir bem sobre seu próprio corpo, aumenta sua autoestima. Então, se a mulher faz pornô porque gosta, não é uma vítima de sexismo. Ninguém pediu pra ela fazer o que faz.

  233. Aposto que o autor extenderá esse raciocínio à crianças. Se ele fizesse o mesmo argumento hoje, quando criança até de cinco anos anda tirando nudes, ele teria elevado grau de aceitabilidade.

  234. Para o autor, o desgosto das feministas radicais em relação à pornografia vem de um viés anti-heterossexual, segundo o qual uma mulher “de verdade” jamais sentiria prazer em ser passiva.

  235. O argumento de que homens que consomem pornô o fazem por um desejo de ver mulheres sendo usadas, abusadas, quebradas e descartadas é preconceito. O homem que vê pornô raramente procura uma mulher que se humilhe em vídeo. Nem o homem vê a mulher como sendo humilhada e nem a mulher que faz isso se sente humilhada.

  236. Um número de críticas contra pornografia infantil vem de pessoas que nunca falaram com um adulto atraído por menores de verdade pra saber o que ele deseja ver. Como eles vão saber se a pornografia desejada pelo adulto atraído por menores é aquela que é efetivamente proibida ou se a pornografia desejada por ele precisa ser proibida?

  237. À época da escrita do livro, um especialista havia sugerido que existisse pornografia para crianças e que tal pornografia poderia ter aspecto pedagógico, não muito diferente dos manuais de educação sexual já existentes. É a primeira vez que vejo isso na vida.

  238. Manuais de educação sexual são presa fácil pro lobby antissexo. Há uma pressão para manter a criança desinformada sobre assuntos pelos quais se interessam.

  239. A crença de que pornografia infantil é errada, diz o autor, começa nos dois pressupostos de que crianças não são seres sexuais e de que sexualidade é algo que não se mostra.

  240. O autor diz que, antes da pornografia infantil ser proibida em seu território, as crianças aprovavam o material para o qual modelavam. Frequentemente, quem fazia eram os pais, que depois vendiam o material para distribuidores. Ao menos o dinheiro ficava com a família…

  241. Mas há também crianças que detestam ser gravadas ou fotografadas. Há relatos de crianças que foram forçadas. Mas o advento do celular com câmera, que permitiu que crianças de até cinco anos pudessem gravar a si mesmas sem intervenção de um adulto, sugere que há criança que gosta de se expor.

  242. O autor diz que a indústria do pornô infantil, antes de se tornar ilegal, dava parte do dinheiro ao menor. Eu fico muito preocupado com isso… Como garantir que essa quantidade é justa? E se for, como ficam os estudos?

  243. No final das contas, a pornografia infantil foi completamente banida porque não havia outra maneira de combater o material no qual a criança é de fato explorada. Banir o material benigno foi um preço a ser pago.

  244. O mesmo estudioso que falou de pornô pra menores sugere que o aparato legal que já existe pra proteger atores menores de idade deveria ser usado na indústria da pornografia infantil. É difícil, cara, ler este livro enquanto você almoça. Embora eu admita que o argumento é válido, eu tenho a sensação de que algo está errado.

  245. Para Constantine, o sequestro e a exploração de menores para propósitos de produção de pornô é um produto natural do estado de ilegalidade dessa pornografia. Se ela fosse legal, não haveria necessidade de recorrer a meios extremos para obter modelos, diz Constantine. Pessoal, não podíamos só desenhar?

  246. Seria melhor se essa pornografia fosse gratuita e regulada pelo estado, pra diminuir as chances de exploração. Em adição, a arrecadação de dinheiro encima do modelo poderia constituir trabalho infantil.

  247. Mas essa pornografia não poderia ser usada como meio de fazer chantagem? Esse é um dos principais argumentos contra nudes partilhadas entre menores de idade: a possibilidade de vazamento ou de implosão da imagem do modelo.

  248. O autor argumenta que nudes não poderiam ser usadas pra chantagem se o mundo tivesse menos vergonha do sexo. Claro que ele não fala especificamente de nudes, mas de qualquer material pornográfico, até porque não existia celular na época dele.

  249. Finalmente acabei o capítulo dez. Este capítulo foi talvez a leitura mais controversa que eu já fiz. É um soco no estômago. Se o autor estiver certo, espero que essas mudanças sejam empregadas gradualmente, não de uma vez. Mas se ele tem razão ou não, deixo ao seu julgamento.

  250. “PIE [Paedophile Information Exchange] e PAL [Paedophile Action for Liberation] ambas cresceram do movimento gay da segunda metade dos anos setenta.” É, parece que os homossexuais não viam atração por menores como essencialmente anti-ética quando o movimento chegou ao topo. Basta lembrar que todo o mundo na NAMBLA é homossexual por definição.

  251. Um dos objetivos da PIE era reduzir os mitos em relação à atração por menores, pela disseminação de informação científica. Outro era aconselhar adultos atraídos por menores deprimidos ou isolados. Isso é ligeiramente reminiscente ao que a B4U-ACT faz hoje. A diferença é que a B4U-ACT se mantém neutra ao problema do contato (isto é, se a idade de consentimento deve ou não ser abolida) e não oferece qualquer suporte legal a adultos atraídos por menores que quebram as leis (enquanto que a PIE oferecia conselho legal). Também, o objetivo da B4U-ACT é reduzir o estigma e construir uma ponte entre adultos atraídos por menores e serviços de saúde mental, ao passo que o objetivo da PIE era legalização.

  252. A saída encontrada pela PIE foi publicidade. Eles tinham que ser vistos e conhecidos pra que mais pessoas se juntassem ao movimento. Se eles continuassem com duzentos e cinquenta membros não ia ter condição.

  253. A PIE queria ser um tipo de grupo de apoio, para que adultos atraídos por menores aprendessem a viver numa sociedade que lhes é hostil. Esse é um dos objetivos da B4U-ACT atualmente. Mas, novamente, B4U-ACT fica fora do problema da legalização.

  254. “Como ser pedófilo sem ser um suicida por causa disso, sem sentir culpa só porque outros esperam que você a sinta? Liberados da culpa, pedófilos ansiosos quase que necessariamente se tornam indivíduos mais relaxados, mais felizes, pois eles encontram, pela primeira vez na vida, outros pedófilos que aprenderam a não ficarem deprimidos sob a opressão.” Página 157.

  255. O autor admite que um adulto atraído por menores “radical”, que quer a legalização, não está em posição de dar conselho sobre uma pessoa procurar ou não tratamento. Isso explica a posição da B4U-ACT. Se eles tivessem uma posição definida sobre o problema do contato, eles não apenas afastariam adultos atraídos por menores que precisam de ajuda como seriam incapazes de dar ajuda adequada.

  256. Embora adultos atraídos por menores que se juntaram à PIE gostassem da ideia de encontrar outros como eles, o que diminuia a sensação de isolamento, a agenda política da PIE colocava seus membros em risco, óbvio. Nem todo o mundo está pronto pra engajamento político, especialmente numa causa tão séria e que encontra tamanha resistência.

  257. “Nós apenas fazíamos o que sentíamos em nós que devíamos fazer, o que estávamos explodindo de vontade de fazer, isto é, ficar de pé e dizer em alto e bom som que estávamos já doentes de rastejar nas sombras, de fingir sermos algo que não nós mesmos, de pedir desculpas por sentimentos que, dentro de nossas mais profundas pessoas, nós sabíamos serem passivos de manifestação boa e saudável, em vez de maldita, perversa ou doentia.” Página 163.

  258. O movimento gay deu certo porque um monte de gay saiu do armário e desafiou, em grupo, uma sociedade que lhes era hostil. Nos Estados Unidos, o número de pessoas atraídas por menores soma pelo menos seiscentos e sessenta mil. Não há dados correspondentes ao Brasil, embora estudiosos especulem que 1% da população mundial seja atraída por menores.

  259. Mas isso não seria possível se não houvessem táticas usadas pelos gays para limpar suficientemente a discriminação antes que eles pudessem se organizar como minoria política: persuasão em relações públicas e lobbying político, por exemplo.

  260. Tenho quase certeza de que a PIE teria mais chance de sucesso se não tivesse sido tão radical. O autor diz que entregar a mensagem de maneira radical, crua, tornaria a PIE difícil de ignorar e iniciaria um debate sincero sobre o assunto. Bom, pelo menos a parte do “difícil de ignorar” funcionou. Acredito que o debate, no final das contas, não foi “suas demandas são ou não válidas” e sim “como calar a boca desses lunáticos”.

  261. Truque sujo de um jornal: faz uma matéria falando mal de alguém, diz que essa pessoa tem direito de resposta e, quando a pessoa responde, eles não publicam. Mantém-se a imagem de imparcialidade, sem deixar o outro lado falar.

  262. Um monte de gente tenta desqualificar o ponto de vista divergente impedindo seus proponentes de falar, mesmo que tenham que usar meios violentos pra isso. Do que os antis têm medo, se os adultos atraídos por menores “estão” errados?

  263. Você não pode demitir um funcionário por causa de sua sexualidade, especialmente se ele não cometeu nenhum crime. Mas muita gente faz assim mesmo. Jornalistas também incitam esse comportamento, apesar de ser antiético.

  264. Mesmo que você não tenha cometido nenhum crime, a polícia pode se negar a ajudar você, se eles não gostarem da sua opinião sobre determinado assunto.

  265. Não confie na mídia se o que você quer é a aceitação de algo totalmente novo. A mídia apenas repete e valida a opinião já vigente. É por isso que você não vê isto, isso ou aquilo na Veja ou no Brasil247.
  266. O que fez com que o movimento atraído por menores tivesse mais chances de sucesso nos Estados Unidos do que na Grã-Bretanha, sepultura da PIE? Simples: eles não queriam exatamente a liberação dos adultos atraídos por menores como minoria sexual reconhecida, mas somente a abolição de leis de idade de consentimento. Isso lhes deu apoio de alguns juízes, advogados e pessoas da igreja.
  267. Outro fator que possibilitou o aumento mais rápido do movimento nos Estados Unidos era o fato de que, na época da formação da NAMBLA, os Estados Unidos eram menos conservadores do que o Reino Unido, no sentido de que eles davam chance à novas ideias.

  268. Exemplo: “Pornografia infantil é particularmente perturbadora parcialmente porque ela nos mostra que crianças prontamente responderão a avanços sexuais e podem até mesmo se tornar participantes ativos em encontros sexuais. Tal como qualquer potencial humano, a realidade da sexualidade juvenil pode ser utilizada para bem e para mal. A pornografia está apenas nos forçando a encarar o fato de que esse potencial sexual infantil de fato existe.” Dá pra acreditar que isso foi publicado no Los Angeles Times?

  269. Na Holanda, o negócio era mais pós-punk: tanto círculos de advogados quanto círculos cristãos protestantes acreditavam que a punição do adulto em relação inofensiva com menor não podia ser justificada.

  270. O sítio da NVSH ainda existe (página relevante ao assunto aqui). Eles advogam a aceitação de todas as expressões voluntárias de sexualidade e chegou a ter “um quarto de milhão” de membros (250 mil).

  271. O clima de aceitação na Holanda permitia um debate racional e imparcial sobre a atração por menores. Eles não reagiam com o desgosto que reagimos hoje.

  272. adultos atraídos por menores assumidos eram vistos junto de crianças que amavam, mas as pessoas não viam aquilo como um imediato sinal de perigo. Lembrando, pessoal, isso não faz nem cinquenta anos.

  273. “[…] houve uma petição seguinte, oferecida ao Governo em junho de 1979, pedindo a abolição da idade de consentimento, assinada pela União Comercial de Professores, a União de Oficiais de Liberdade Condicional, a União Comercial Protestante de Professores Escolares e a União Protestante da Família […]”. A Holanda deve ser o único lugar do mundo onde o envolvimento de pastores com a causa atraída por menores é maior que a de padres.

  274. Tal como acontecia no Brasil antes de 2009, uma relação com menores na Holanda (desde que o menor tivesse doze anos ou mais) não seria automaticamente investigada se ninguém denunciasse. Então, enquanto a relação fosse positiva e ninguém reclamasse, a polícia não poderia agir.

  275. Quando os pais resolvem “vou denunciar”, a polícia então dizia “seu filho vai passar por interrogatório e exame de corpo e delito, veja se vale a pena.” Se o menor realmente tivesse sido abusado, a mãe não pensaria duas vezes. Mas, recebendo um aviso desses, eles seriam menos inclinados a denunciar uma relação da qual o filho não está reclamando.

  276. Se o processo causaria mais prejuízo do que benefício às partes envolvidas, os promotores se recusavam a levar o caso a frente. Ele era arquivado. Isso não valia apenas em casos sexuais, mas em qualquer caso, diz o autor.

  277. Apesar disso, há diferença entre tolerar e encorajar. Então, se por um lado as penas pra adultos atraídos por menores eram pequenas (quando ocorriam), nem por isso o ato era legal. Lembrete: falamos de relacionamentos inofensivos e não forçados, não de estupro.

  278. atração por menores nunca será aceita enquanto for vista como comportamento sexual minoritário, da mesma forma que ainda tem gente hoje que não tolera homossexuais. A minoria é estranha, porque é rara.

  279. Olhando de um ponto de vista pragmático, a intervenção legal em relações inofensivas, não coercitivas, procuradas pelo menor e aprovadas pelos pais causa mais mal do que bem.

  280. Antes de concluir, o autor, embora advogue uma mudança nas leis, não diz em momento algum do livro que leis em efeito devem ser quebradas. Ele seria louco se dissesse isso. Ele tem um blog chamado Heretic TOC, então, se você tem perguntas sobre o livro, vá lá e pergunte pra ele (em inglês). Caso você tenha, sei lá, ficado “inspirado”, tá aqui o sítio do Senado Federal, onde você pode sugerir leis e, se sua sugestão juntar vinte mil apoios, tê-la considerada pela Comissão de Direitos Humanos, o que pode culminar com sua sugestão sendo discutida no Congresso, onde ela pode virar lei afinal.

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