8 de setembro de 2019

What I learned from reading “Recalled Sexual Experiences in Childhood with Older Partners: A Study of Brazilian Men Who Have Sex with Men and Male-to-Female Transgender Persons.”

Filed under: Saúde e bem-estar — Tags:, , — Yurinho @ 15:02

“Recalled Sexual Experiences in Childhood with Older Partners: A Study of Brazilian Men Who Have Sex with Men and Male-to-Female Transgender Persons” was written by Alex Carballo-Diéguez, Ivan Balan, Curtis Dolezal, and Maeve B. Mello. Below, what I learned reading this text.

  1. The aim of the study is to verify the frequency of occurrence of sexual relationships between boy or transgender with older partner in the Campinas region and to verify if such experiences are related to risky sexual behavior in adulthood.
  2. The method used involves the use of a questionnaire and an HIV test.
  3. Among the participants (575), 85% were boys or cisgender men and 15% were males (biologically) who did not identify as men.
  4. Among the participants, 32% said they had an older sexual partner back when they were children or adolescents.
  5. The average age for the younger party was nine years and the average age for the partner was nineteen.
  6. Most of the older partners were men.
  7. Of all participants who had sexual experiences in childhood or adolescence with an older partner, only 29% considered the experience abusive.
  8. 57% said the experience was pleasant.
  9. 29% say they feel indifferent about the sexual contact that took place in their younger years…
  10. Only 14% say they did not like the experience at the time it occurred.
  11. Transgenders had such experiences more often and had a higher positive response rate than cisgenders.
  12. Precocious subjects did not necessarily develop life-threatening sexual behavior.
  13. It is important to hear the child or adolescent about his or her judgment of the experience rather than assuming that what happened was abuse.
  14. People whose gender (mental and social) doesn’t match what is expected for their sex (biological) may have different perceptions of such experiences.
  15. Not all adult-child sexual relationships are violent.
  16. A good definition of child sexual abuse needs to define what can be considered sexual, at what age one can be considered a child, and what the age difference between participants must be to qualify age disproportion.
  17. It is also important to consider the effect of the participants’ gender in the appraisal of the experience.
  18. A distinction must be made between children’s sexual experience and adolescents’ sexual experience.
  19. A distinction needs to be made between the sexual experience of the child or adolescent from different nations in order to assess whether or not local laws and customs influence how the experience is judged by the child or adolescent.
  20. Finally, it is necessary to know from the child’s or adolescent’s point of view whether he or she considers the occurrence to be a negative experience or not.
  21. Finding out the prevalence of precocious sexual relationships is a very difficult task.
  22. If there is no closed definition of child sexual abuse, comparing results from different studies on the subject will be difficult or even impossible.
  23. Contrary to popular belief, boys can also suffer child sexual abuse.
  24. Most studies on early sexual experiences are conducted in Europe and the United States… which may hinder the generalization of these data…
  25. To alleviate this problem, the study authors decided to analyze data obtained in Brazil.
  26. For the sake of safe data, the study defines “early sexual experience with an older partner” as that which occurs between a person aged thirteen or younger and another at least four years older (for example, between a child of eleven and a teenager of fifteen).
  27. A homosexual boy may look for an older partner because the risk of being discriminated or laughed at is lower.
  28. The study defines “child sexual abuse” as an early sexual experience with an older partner, provided that such experience has caused emotional or physical discomfort.
  29. Study participants were recruited between 2005 and 2006.
  30. To qualify for the study, the subject had to be at least fourteen years old (Brazilian age of consent) at the time of the interview.
  31. Most early sexual experiences with older partners occurred with people outside the family.
  32. Among the experiences that take place within the family, most experiences occur among cousins.
  33. Very few participants have had such experiences with older girls or women.
  34. Such experiences involve games of “show”, intimate caress, masturbation, oral sex or anal sex.
  35. Anal occurred more often among transgenders than among cisgenders, in a ratio of 86% (transgender) to 51% (cisgender).
  36. Only a quarter of participants report being forced during the sexual experience.
  37. Less than a fifth say they have been threatened.
  38. Only one in ten participants reported experiencing physical pain during the experience.
  39. In total, 66% of reported experiences did not involve use of force or presence of pain.
  40. Less than one third of participants considered their early experience an abuse.
  41. 55% said they enjoyed the experience, 29% said they were indifferent and 14% said they did not like the experience at the time it occurred.
  42. Of the 114 subjects who said they did not feel bad at the time the experience occurred, only 22 considered the experience to be abuse even though they were not harmed by it.
  43. Interestingly, of the 76 who claim that experience harmed them at the time it occurred, only 41 considered the experience to be abuse.
  44. It follows that it is easier for a child or adolescent to consider his experience abusive if he has suffered from the experience.
  45. In addition, being abused (negative experience) is correlated with life-threatening sexual behavior in adulthood.
  46. 73% of men and 88% of transgender people deny that their experiences were forced.
  47. 80% of men and 86% of transgenders deny being threatened during the experience.
  48. 91% of men and 77% of transgenders deny having felt pain as a result of the experience.
  49. A minority of respondents say the experience was sexual abuse.
  50. It is necessary to distinguish between “abuse” of the child (when the child suffers) and “abuse” of the customs (when the child does not suffer, what was violated was the social norm that forbids these experiences).
  51. Something is not abuse just because the law says so.
  52. If I do not believe the child or adolescent who denies that the experience was violent, why should I believe the child or adolescent who claims that the experience was violent?
  53. People condemn the Brazilian Carnival because it is a time when many indulge in sexual licentiousness, but such licentiousness is not unique to the Carnival.
  54. A boy who attracts attention from an adult can take pride on that.
  55. Sexual discrimination can affect school performance.
  56. It should be remembered that such data were obtained in Campinas and surrounding areas, but data obtained in other parts of Brazil may differ.
  57. Local culture affects the way we view and judge our sexual experiences at a vulnerable age.

5 de setembro de 2019

What I learned from reading “Childhood sexual experiences with an older partner among men who have sex with men in Buenos Aires, Argentina”.

Filed under: Saúde e bem-estar — Tags:, , — Yurinho @ 15:19

“Childhood sexual experiences with an older partner among men who have sex with men in Buenos Aires, Argentina” was written by Curtis Dolezal, Alex Carballo-Diéguez, Iván C. Balán, María A. Pando, Marina Mabragaña, Rubén Marone, Victoria Barreda and Maria M. Avila. Below, what I learned by reading their text.

  1. The aim of the study is to evaluate early sexual experiences with older partners in an Argentine population.
  2. Experiences of interest to the researchers were manual, oral, genital, or anal contacts, provided the participating subject was 13 or younger at the time when the experience occurred and provided the partner was at least four years older than the subject.
  3. In a sample of 500 participants, 18% had such experiences.
  4. Most subjects who had early sexual experiences with older partners do not consider the experience to be negative or abusive.
  5. Two-thirds of the participants had such experiences with women.
  6. Among those who had their sexual experience with women, only 4% consider the experience to be child sexual abuse.
  7. Among those who had their sexual experience with men, 44% consider the experience to be child sexual abuse.
  8. It is easier for the child or adolescent to consider the experience abusive if it has been objectively violent or painful, either physically or emotionally.
  9. It follows that the peaceful and voluntary experience is unlikely to be remembered as abusive.
  10. Specifically in this sample, there is no correlation between early sexual experiences and risk of lifetime contamination with HIV.
  11. Those who had early sexual experiences with a man reported use of force or threats more often than those who had such experiences with women.
  12. The study defines “child sexual abuse” as the early sexual experience in which the child or adolescent felt physically or emotionally harmed by his or her older partner.
  13. Homosexual participants more often reported unwanted sexual contact in childhood or adolescence and more often reported rape (unwanted carnal conjunction ) than heterosexual participants.
  14. Child sexual abuse (unwanted sexual experience during childhood or adolescence) is associated with adult functioning problems.
  15. One such problem is the contraction of risky sexual behaviors.
  16. But association is not the same as causality: a lot of children who have actually been abused do not develop any negative symptoms throughout their lives (which does not make such abuses acceptable).
  17. In addition, if the sexual experience has been peaceful and voluntary, the subject is unlikely to develop any negative symptoms in adulthood.
  18. The correlation between psychological problems and early sexual experiences is strong only among the subjects who were forced into such experiences.
  19. Violence may or may not occur in such experiences.
  20. Culture can also influence the evaluation of such child sexual experiences: some of these experiences are seen as games in Brazil.
  21. There are few studies on the effect of Latin American culture on the evaluation of an early sexual experience.
  22. In this sample, most of these relationships occurred outside the family.
  23. The average age for the youngest was 10 years and the average age for the oldest partner was 20 years.
  24. One participant told the researcher that he had a thousand times of sexual contacts with his partner in childhood and adolescence, and told the researcher other things that suggested he was highly sexually active at a vulnerable age.
  25. Half of the subjects who had early sexual experience had oral contact; most had manual contact.
  26. All participants who, in childhood or adolescence, had a relationship with an older woman claim to have penetrated her.
  27. 84% of those who have had experiences with older men claim to have been penetrated.
  28. 18% consider their early sexual experiences to be abusive and most deny being forced, threatened or injured.
  29. Those who had sexual contacts with women were, on average, older than those who had sexual contacts with men.
  30. Apart from the Chad who had one thousand sexual contacts with his partner, four other participants reported having between one hundred and two hundred sexual contacts with an older partner, but most participants reported ten or less.
  31. The woman is less likely to force the boy into a sexual contact.
  32. Each country has its definition of “abuse”: what people in the US call “abuse” may not receive that same treatment in Brazil.
  33. It is more difficult to regard the experience as abuse if the older partner is a woman: when a boy has a sexual contact with a woman, he has had heterosexual contact, free from the stigma of homosexuality.
  34. Such stigma increases the chances of the child or adolescent regarding the experience as negative: a precocious homosexual contact may still be regarded as negative even in the absence of pain or coercion.
  35. Majority of the subjects was not traumatized by their experience.
  36. The fact that something is infrequent does not mean that it is a minor problem: we must not stop combating sexual violence against children and adolescents just because violent experiences are not as frequent as peaceful ones.
  37. The fact that people who had sexual contact in childhood or adolescence in countries where such a thing is taboo suffer more than people who have had the same experiences in places where it is not taboo (or where disapproval is smaller) shows that disapproval of such behavior can have a role in forming negative symptoms.
  38. This study uses a relatively new method (respondent-driven sampling), so care must be taken when generalizing these data.
  39. In South America, it seems that people who have sex with men may still consider themselves heterosexual.
  40. Not every libidinous act before the age of fourteen should be considered rape: early sexual experiences are not uniformly negative and can be arranged in a positive to negative spectrum.

1 de junho de 2019

What I learned by reading “The Sexual Life of the Child.”

Filed under: Saúde e bem-estar — Tags:, , , , — Yurinho @ 16:36

The Sexual Life of the Child” was written by Albert Moll. Below, what I learned from reading this book.

  1. Albert Moll was a doctor, gained notoriety for his work on medicine and hygiene.
  2. Moll’s task in this book is to understand child sexuality and find ways to prevent its degradation.
  3. Debating this topic requires sincere, honest stances.
  4. The truth can be brutal and it sometimes can’t be sugarcoated.
  5. Child sexuality can be concealed, but not eliminated, and its concealment does not reduce its potential.
  6. Sexuality begins before puberty.
  7. Understanding child sexuality can help the boy to deal with his impulses in a constructive and satisfying way, keeping him safe from problems such as anxiety or the degradation of his behavior due to bad influences.
  8. Ancient moral recommendations regarding child sexuality no longer serve their purpose.
  9. There are parents willing to spend affection, money, time and study in the quest for the well- being of the child.
  10. No child sexual behavior is automatically unhealthy, just as no indigestion is automatically appendicitis and no cough is automatically tuberculosis.
  11. Such behavior can be perfectly innocent, normal and natural.
  12. Interventions can be harmful.
  13. There are experts who do not discuss sex because they do not find it important, because they fear that certain taboos will be broken or even because they dislike talking about sex.
  14. The fact that sex “is not important” is no argument against the study of sex.
  15. Sexual ignorance does more harm than knowledge in this area.
  16. So what, if natural history is ugly?
  17. The fact that there are many books about science does not surely indicate that science is advancing.
  18. Understanding child sexuality makes it easier to understand adult sexuality.
  19. After all, the development of sexuality is an area of ​​study of the sciences that focus on sexuality.
  20. The study of child sexuality is also useful for judges.
  21. This is a phenomenon to be judged from various perspectives, not only from the viewpoint of pathology, as if child sexuality were a disease.
  22. Puberty starts earlier for some ethnicities.
  23. The term “nocturnal pollution” has a negative connotation.
  24. The first signs of puberty may appear as early as seven years, depending on the subject.
  25. Three ways to study child sexuality: observation, experiment and narrative recordation.
  26. The recordation method is imperfect, because, if the experience inspires shame, that may interfere with veracity.
  27. Also, remembering the facts can also be a problem if the experience has occurred a long time ago.
  28. Children often understand that their sexual experiences are unwanted by adults, so they hide their experiences.
  29. In the past, studying child sexuality by observation required the castration of the boy in order to see how his behavior changed, now that he no longer had his testicles.
  30. Libidinous acts in childhood occur more often than is commonly thought.
  31. Teachers and doctors can notice a child’s sexual behavior easier and quicker when it manifests itself.
  32. Parents, when they perceive the son’s sexuality, are ashamed to discuss it with a professional, fearing that the professional “accuses” the family of having produced a “degenerate” child.
  33. Many parents prefer to ignore.
  34. Rousseau ‘s Emile said that the child’s sexual initiation should be delayed and, following the publication of his work, several parents began to do just that.
  35. The sexual enlightenment movement began with an attempt to prevent sexually transmitted diseases.
  36. Despite this, it was a movement from adults to adults.
  37. In exceptional cases, puberty can begin at age four.
  38. Children fall in love.
  39. The ban on child marriage is relatively recent .
  40. It is very strange that books on pedagogy or child psychology devote so few pages to child sexuality.
  41. This may be a symptom of false moralism.
  42. Or incompetence.
  43. Animals also have sex games with each other.
  44. The first childhood crush can occur as early as four years.
  45. A child can crush on an adult.
  46. The child’s passion can also be accompanied by feelings of intense shame.
  47. A loved one may be the only reason that makes a boy want to attend to school: it is not that he likes to study.
  48. This can lead the child to even hate weekends and holidays!
  49. This childlike love is a frequent theme in romantic literature.
  50. There are pornographic works that explore this theme.
  51. Some aspects of Freud’s sexual theory are disputable, such as the erotic value of sucking.
  52. The best record of child sexuality is not published (personal journals, family albums, memoirs and biographies that do not find an editor).
  53. Some of these records circulate in the family that originates them, while others are of private use by the author of the record.
  54. Except in cases of medical urgency, the foreskin is only removed for religious reasons.
  55. Sexual penetration without erection is not possible.
  56. Testicular excretion is not the complete semen, but one of its components.
  57. There are two ways to get an erection: through the mental way (visual stimulus, auditory stimulus, fantasies or memories) and the physical way (direct tactile stimulus).
  58. In the case of the mental method, the triggering object must be something that relates to the desires of the person: an infantilist one may not be interested in women, but may feel desire for diapers, pacifiers or adult-sized cribs.
  59. In the case of the physical method, the penis is not the only sexually sensitive place in the body.
  60. One of these areas is the butt.
  61. But this varies from person to person and from area to area of ​​skin or mucosa.
  62. Another area is the neck: have you ever received a well-given kiss on the neck?
  63. Erections are reflexes, they only occur in response to something.
  64. An erection can also be caused by harmful effects.
  65. An erection may also occur when you are desperate to pee.
  66. However, a man does not always know what caused the erection.
  67. Most of the time, the erection is obtained by the two types of stimulus (mental and physical).
  68. There is a synergy between the two stimuli: accumulation of non-ejaculated semen can cause physical stimulation, which in turn excites the imagination, giving rise to mental stimulation, só that unsatisfied urges and fantasies feed each other.
  69. Stimuli that cause erection may not be strong enough to cause ejaculation.
  70. Ejaculations usually occur when you have an erection, but not every erection results in ejaculation.
  71. Ejaculations without an erection can be a sign of sexual impotence: you are horny and you feel the stimulus, but your erection is too easily exhausted.
  72. If a liquid comes out of your penis, but you do not experience muscle contractions during excretion, such liquid is not semen.
  73. Sexual arousal has four phases: initial stimulation, ascension, orgasm, and cessation.
  74. The cessation creates a physical feeling of satisfaction, calm, and fatigue.
  75. The vulva has a urethral and a vaginal orifice.
  76. The hymen reduces the vaginal passage, so that intercourse is impossible without forcing it.
  77. At regular intervals, an egg cell is expelled through the fallopian tubes and reaches the uterus, where it must be fertilized or expelled.
  78. If the egg is fertilized and the girl or woman becomes pregnant, menstruation ceases temporarely.
  79. The menstrual cycle affects the looks of the female genitalia.
  80. The clitoris stiffens with sexual tension as well.
  81. The woman also has muscle contractions during orgasm and can even release a liquid that has no reproductive value.
  82. Liquid release also occurs during the initial stimulus.
  83. The male initial stimulus rapidly grows to ascension and it reaches the state of cessation more quickly after orgasm, but the woman goes through all phases slowly.
  84. Although the woman has sex drive, pleasure may be absent during intercourse.
  85. In this way, sex can be an unsatisfactory experience for women.
  86. The pre-pubescent boy has no means of reproduction.
  87. Loss of virginity, pregnancy and childbirth can change the appearance of female genitalia forever.
  88. An erection can give rise to the desire to touch it, even without any fantasy in mind during the touch.
  89. Even without an explicitly sexual desire, the boy has an interest in the opposite sex and wants physical contact with girls, in the form of hugs and kisses.
  90. Later, he discovers that contacts, memories and fantasies can cause erections, which can be triggered by the opposite sex or the memory of it.
  91. The sex drive can be satisfied without sex.
  92. Thus, sexual desire does not necessarily mean desire for sex.
  93. Sex is always better with loved ones.
  94. It is possible to have orgasms without ejaculation.
  95. The differences between the sexes go beyond the genitals.
  96. But these differences are smaller and less intense in childhood: man and woman are very different, but boy and girl are very similar.
  97. For example: differences in weight and height are almost irrelevant (the newborn boy is slightly larger and slightly heavier than the newborn girl).
  98. The physical ability to exert pressure with the hand is greater in boys than in girls, if we examine six-year-olds.
  99. These differences concern the average specimen, not everyone.
  100. In child and adolescent development, the child increases in weight for a few years, then increases in height, then gains weight again, and finally has a growth spurt.
  101. There is a period of childhood and adolescence in which the girl is bigger than the boy, but the opposite occurs in all other stages of childhood and adolescence (remembering, speaking of average specimens).
  102. The appearance of secondary sexual characteristics occurs earlier in the girl than in the boy.
  103. At the end of the first period of childhood, things like the size of the hips, thighs and buttocks already begin to change in the girl, who acquires qualities that will persist throughout her life.
  104. The girl’s hair is naturally longer.
  105. At the beginning of the second period of childhood, the breasts begin to develop and continue to develop over this period.
  106. Male respiration is mainly worked by the diaphragm, but female respiration is mainly worked by the thorax.
  107. But such breathing might be learned: very tight clothes harm the female’s breathing movements.
  108. In the male, muscle mass and distance between the shoulders begin to become more prominent in the second period of childhood.
  109. At the end of the second phase of childhood, the boy’s voice begins to change.
  110. Mental differences between boys and girls may be the result of differentiated education.
  111. Such differences concern the choice of games and toys, occupations and characteristic movements.
  112. The girl likes to play with things that are related to the occupation she would like to have in adulthood.
  113. The girl who plays “mama” may be, even as a child, a good nanny for younger children.
  114. The child’s appreciation for the doll may only be understood by the mother, who spends the same effort on her children as the girl spends on the doll.
  115. Boys prefer games like police and thief, war simulations and such things.
  116. The girl learns early to be silent.
  117. There are curricular contents more easily absorbed by boys.
  118. Boys learn later about marriage in comparison to girls.
  119. The girl tends more to exaggerate the report of bad events: a compliment can be interpreted as harassment.
  120. Many differences between the masculine and feminine minds are learned, but many are not.
  121. The boy may prefer football because his physical constitution makes him good at it, which would disqualify his male taste for sports as a mere cultural imposition: we tend to like things in which we perform well.
  122. Thus, the feminist belief that mental differences between men and women are always cultural is wrong.
  123. One of the proofs of this is that such supposedly learned tendencies can not be forgotten, that is, they are resistant to contrary education, which means that they could very well be innate.
  124. But this is about the average: of course there are women who have good physical power, just as there are sensitive men.
  125. Not everyone needs to fit in the average.
  126. Secondary sexual traits may, exceptionally, take a long time to appear.
  127. There are diseases that occur preferentially in one of the sexes, while others only occur in men or women.
  128. Chlorosis occurs more in women, hemophilia occurs more in men.
  129. The lack of female physical force discourages her from committing crimes, unless the crime she has in mind does not require physical force.
  130. The girl gets more sympathy in the court, so that the girl is punished less often for infractions or, at least, receives softer penalties.
  131. Differences in crime rates between the sexes may therefore have social motivation: isn’t like men are more prone to crime, it’s just that women get away with it easier.
  132. In addition, criminal propensity responds to education, só, even if men indeed commit more crimes, that tendency is not innate, but learned.
  133. There are psychological characteristics that are originated, maintained or facilitated by biological causes.
  134. The child’s sexual impulse is not very different between boys and girls.
  135. Men commit suicide more often than women.
  136. But child suicide rates are very similar, differentiating as children grow up.
  137. Erections are normal in childhood: even infants can have erections.
  138. Erections can occur by internal stimulation (fantasies, as we have seen, or by a very full bladder) or by external stimulus (intimate contact or inflammation).
  139. This means that erections may or may not have sexual meaning.
  140. On the other hand, erections make the child pay attention to their genitals, giving them the drive to manipulate them.
  141. This is how masturbation is discovered.
  142. Autoerotism does not have to involve the hands: rubbing the groin on the mattress, squeezing the genitals between the thighs, these things also give pleasure.
  143. Most childhood erections have no clearly identifiable cause.
  144. Touching the genitals can occur by reflex and sometimes the subject is not even aware that he is touching it.
  145. Not every masturbation causes erection.
  146. Touching the genitals for non-sexual reasons is also the way in which the girl discovers masturbation.
  147. Another way to learn is by the influence of others.
  148. For example, by the time the book was written (1912), caregivers massaged the genitals of children under their care as a “trick” to calm them down.
  149. Although the little boy may have an orgasm this way, ejaculation only begins to occur with puberty.
  150. Erections are normal at any age.
  151. Ejaculations may or may not have sperm, with fertility actually coming at different ages for each individual.
  152. Thus, not all ejaculations are fertile.
  153. Therefore, capacity for intercourse and reproductive capacity are different concepts.
  154. Many childlike behaviors that appear to be sexual, in fact, are absolutely not sexual.
  155. The child is capable of sexual pleasure.
  156. But not all children are capable of orgasm .
  157. This is a skill that becomes easier to get as you get older.
  158. It is possible to masturbate until you feel pain .
  159. The fact that a child is attracted to someone of the same sex is not a sure indicator that she will grow up homosexual.
  160. This is because the child does not differentiate between boy and girl, with regard to affection.
  161. In the same way, the child can look for pleasure in objects and even in animals.
  162. Pain can also have a pleasurable look.
  163. Only then, with maturation, that its inclination is narrowed (in most people, the focus becomes the opposite sex).
  164. The stage of life in which the child seeks pleasure, not a specific object of pleasure, is the moment when some of us discover that we like certain “perverse” things such as diapers , tickling or spanking , balloons or peeing , because, looking for new experiences, we realize that there are some that give a different kind of pleasure, depending on the person.
  165. Therefore, forming a fetish depends on luck (or bad luck , depending on what gives you horny ).
  166. This period of indiscriminate pleasure-seeking begins before the age of five .
  167. Such a period does not occur in all children, but it occurs in the majority.
  168. The fact that a “perverse” experience has been pleasurable in childhood does not guarantee that such a desire will be brought into adulthood.
  169. In the period of undifferentiated pleasure, the first signs of homosexuality may appear.
  170. Homosexual experiences may also occur in this period, but these alone do not guarantee that the child will grow up homosexual.
  171. This means that some boys go through a “homosexual phase” or “bisexual phase,” while others are actually homosexual or bisexual.
  172. Some go through a “zoophilic phase”.
  173. In the presence of a girl he likes, the boy may enjoy girl’s play, but that taste disappears when he tires of the girl he plays with.
  174. So it is not the play that gives pleasure, it is the presence of the beloved girl.
  175. The mere touch of the beloved can cause erections in the boy who goes through puberty.
  176. It is possible to marry someone we do not love passionately.
  177. Childhood dating can be abstracted from sexual intent: Loving the little girl does not indicate that you want to spy on her by changing clothes.
  178. The child may fall in love with someone older.
  179. The teacher , for example.
  180. Or an artist .
  181. Even parents.
  182. You can fall in love with someone you can never touch.
  183. Some children fall in love with ideal people, who are only seen in the imagination.
  184. Both adults and children, when in love, try to justify the faults of the loved one or face such failures as virtues.
  185. Others try to justify or hide their sexual motivation: it is not that he wants to see his colleague undress because it makes him feel good, but because he is just curious.
  186. Attracted by a boy who does not have good qualities, the girl justifies herself by saying that she is just serving her humanitarian duty to make her classmate a better person.
  187. This type of justification is easier to see in children who have a homosexual drive: “only good friends.”
  188. Child sexual attraction manifests in the desire to touch, hug, kiss, be close or even just see the person that attracts.
  189. That bothers the parents .
  190. A boy can harass another a child without, of course, realizing that his conduct can be interpreted in this way.
  191. Physical contact is how a child shows affection.
  192. This is the motivation for some fighting games between boys.
  193. Fighting games can take place between boy and girl.
  194. Some children take pleasure in watching the pain or discomfort of others.
  195. While others feel pleasure in suffering pain or discomfort .
  196. There are children who change their behavior for the loved one.
  197. The tyke may idolize gifts received from the beloved or wish to have an object possessed by the loved one (a strand of hair, piece of cloth, pencil case, glass of perfume, among others).
  198. Children are capable of feeling jealousy.
  199. They understand that the pain of losing a loved one is proportionate to the love that is felt.
  200. It is necessary to maintain the interest of the loved one, it is necessary to impress the loved one with mental or physical capacities.
  201. When a girl likes a teacher, she will try to impress him by being her best student.
  202. This phenomenon is intensified by jealousy: to prevent the teacher from looking at other students, the passionate student has to overcome them all.
  203. If a girl behavior changes, especially if she changes for the better, she may be in love.
  204. It may be this desire to be the best possible for the loved one that is behind the heterosexual child’s embarrassment, when they are naked around members of the opposite sex, but not members of the same sex.
  205. Suppression of the child’s heterosexual expression will make the child’s sexuality seek other forms of expression.
  206. In places with low demographic density, marrying your childhood crush is a realistic idea, as both will grow up together.
  207. When two prepubescent kids are very fond of each other, they may do “stuff” around puberty.
  208. Although the boy falls in love, his passion is usually short-lived.
  209. In extreme cases, separation from the loved one can lead the child to commit suicide.
  210. Children may have erections motivated by members of the opposite sex as early as age three, although such an early occurrence is exceptional.
  211. Some children desire adults.
  212. There are reports of children attempting to lose their virginity with people of the same age as early as age eight.
  213. There are men who are attracted to intelligent, not necessarily beautiful, women.
  214. Feelings of love tend to appear before feelings of lust.
  215. The attractive girl probably has boys as friends.
  216. A boy can love a girl to the point of praying to God for her safety.
  217. Some doctors have gone through the strange experience of removing cylindrical objects that have been trapped in a vagina.
  218. A girl is unlikely to break her hymen during masturbation.
  219. Some children feel a bit of lust when they are spanked.
  220. The occurrence of masturbation is greater in boys.
  221. But there are exceptions.
  222. It is possible to ejaculate from anxiety: this is the case of people who get the hots for humiliation or ridicule.
  223. In some people, such occurence is unique, but, for others, it’s a lifelong fetish.
  224. In men, such a phenomenon can occur without the concomitant occurrence of erection.
  225. This is a manifestation of masochism, although it is not a physical manifestation, nor does it imply a desire for physical pain.
  226. Some people have ejaculated during their own hanging.
  227. Freud made generalizations that today are unacceptable.
  228. Nighttime pollution occurs most often in men who do not masturbate and are celibate.
  229. On the other hand, an erotic dream may not result in pollution.
  230. If the pubertal child or adolescent does not masturbate, his first ejaculation will occur during sleep.
  231. There is a hypothesis that the dream has post-hypnotic suggestive property, which means that a dream that first related a non-sexual object or situation to sexual excitement may be the cause of a fetish you have (like, you have a dream about putting a diaper on and, when you wake up, you wonder if diapers are that good to wear).
  232. But this is a hypothesis, and as such has never been proven.
  233. An adolescent’s erotic dream is way crazier than an adult’s erotic dream (I have a childhood friend who dreamed that Kimberly was chasing him).
  234. A dream full of ideas that are not exciting during wakefulness can cause a nocturnal emission in a tyke.
  235. Some of these dreams contain elements that are impossible in real life.
  236. Such crazy dreams become less frequent over time.
  237. The author of the book had the opportunity to observe sleeping children and realized that they sometimes touch themselves lightly when they are not awake (the book was written in 1912, só he could get away with that).
  238. The person who has a very restrictive morality may feel guilty for having erotic dreams, despite dreams not being under our control.
  239. A child or adolescent with particularly strong sexuality may feel powerless to resist the temptation to do something reprehensible.
  240. The study of the perverse can not be undertaken before the study of the normal, or we will see pervese things everywhere.
  241. Early sexual behavior, that is, between specimens that have not yet reached reproductive age, is observed in birds.
  242. Of course, such behavior is also observed in mammals.
  243. To castrate a boy will prevent or impair the appearance of secondary sexual characteristics: the beard does not grow, the voice continues thin, penis and prostate do not acquire adult appearance, among others.
  244. The earlier the castration, the worse the consequences are, which suggests almost constant testicular activity: the testicles produce spermatozoa, yes, but they are behind several other processes in the child’s maturation.
  245. Castration, even when it occurs early, does not eliminate feelings like passion or sexual desire.
  246. If you remove only one testicle, the other may grow abnormally to compensate for it!
  247. The ability to ejaculate does not imply reproduction capacity: the first ejaculations can be infertile.
  248. Only a small part of the effects of puberty is visible to the naked eye: most of the changes are internal.
  249. Child sexual life begins before puberty.
  250. Some people can only ejaculate after the age of thirty.
  251. Female sexual health problems are common.
  252. Exceptional cases in which menstruation occurred at two years have already been observed.
  253. This means that it is possible, given a certain degree of precocity, to become pregnant in childhood .
  254. Several times the medical history has identified mothers from ten to twelve years.
  255. Already full breast development has been recorded in infants of three months.
  256. Obviously such cases are abnormal.
  257. There have been cases of girls who menstruated soon after birth.
  258. In New Orleans, a four-year-old girl was one meter and twenty and breasts the size of oranges.
  259. Girls who have early maturity often also have above average weight .
  260. Although sexual desire matures faster in these girls, their mental capacity does not grow at the same rate.
  261. They look older than they really are.
  262. In the case of boys, it has already been documented that some three-year-old boys already have a voice of sixteen.
  263. A person who matures so quickly will age faster.
  264. While some ripen too fast, others ripen very slowly .
  265. The case of an Italian who has only just started puberty at the age of twenty-eight has already been recorded.
  266. Some early children, having advanced sexual desire, try to be satisfied with other children, but also force the classmates who deny such satisfaction.
  267. There’s a lot wrong with von Krafft-Ebing’s work.
  268. A boy may try to move on the older sister.
  269. Bad parents hire babysitters worse than themselves in terms of responsibility.
  270. A teenager who already has problems with sexual behavior may commit more serious excesses if exposed to alcohol .
  271. A child or adolescent with a high appetite can masturbate up to ten times a day, including at school, although such frequency would be pathological.
  272. One of the clinical cases narrated by the author is about a guy who lost his virginity at thirteen with a prostitute he paid for.
  273. Lack of self-control can occur in several areas: a person who does not have the willpower to repress the sex drive may not have the willpower to persist in a job or continue studying.
  274. People who have fetish parts for clothes, such as socks or panties, can only feel horny if the clothing is of a certain color.
  275. Whoever does a lot of sex can get sick of a certain form of sex and prioritize other forms.
  276. Most paraphilia is awakened in childhood .
  277. Being a homosexual is a matter of chance: the way your sexuality develops is not up to you.
  278. Homosexual desire and heterosexual desire can occur in the same person .
  279. Homosexuality and affectation are different things: not every effeminate man desires other men, while some homosexual men are surprisingly masculine.
  280. Homosexuality is not something that changes.
  281. A person can act with someone of the opposite sex and still be heterosexual.
  282. Homosexuality is a sexual trend, not a “mannerism” or “lifestyle”, but only a sexual attraction by people of the same sex.
  283. Acting like someone of the opposite sex in childhood is not a sure indicator that the child will grow up homosexual.
  284. There was a time when smoking was something so masculine that women who smoked were seen as breaking gender norms.
  285. The same was true for alcohol consumption: the woman who drank alcohol was seen as a “dyke”.
  286. Homosexuality can be congenital: you are born like that, it is just a matter of finding out whether or not it is the case.
  287. If the boy is masochistic, hitting him to correct him may have unexpected consequences.
  288. Just as childhood experiences affect sexuality, such experiences can also affect fears or feelings of disgust.
  289. The experience does not have to happen to you: the boy who sees another boy fleeing desperately from a spider may end up also being afraid of spiders (if they were not dangerous, the other boy would not have run away).
  290. If the person has a congenital predisposition to find cruelty sexy, witnessing cruelty of some kind may trigger arousal.
  291. So, if your first experience with your fetish had not happened, you would have just delayed such discovery: it would happen anyway, at the first opportunity.
  292. This means that even if sexual preferences have a congenital side, they do not “wake up” without an adequate experience.
  293. Suppose the subject has a predisposition to sexualizing comfort, he may develop a fetish for diapers or stuffed animals, depending on his experiences with one of these objects.
  294. The congenital tendency is general (homosexuality, for example), but the experience conditions the specific manifestations of such tendency (fat, lean or muscular members of the same sex).
  295. So, in practice, no one controls what turns them on: it’s a matter of luck
  296. One specific manifestation is more exciting than another: you may feel aroused by men in general, but there’s a specific build that attracts more than the other.
  297. A fetish can replace a human partner, in sexual matters, depending on the person.
  298. A non-sexual affinity may be sexualized later.
  299. Some animals sexually crave animals of other species.
  300. Animals are capable of friendship.
  301. The fact that sadism exists does not imply that all forms of brutality or cruelty are sexually motivated.
  302. When a person decides that they want a degree in medicine, they may have to desensitize themselves to shocking imagery so that they can perform the function: if you can not dissect a frog, how will you perform a surgery on a person?
  303. Some people feel horny… for flowers.
  304. Although children are very interested in acts of micturition and defecation, this interest is rarely sexual.
  305. A child’s libidinous act is not necessarily pathological.
  306. Child sexuality is not a disease.
  307. Children fall in love.
  308. Child sexuality is stigmatized because it is the doctors and neurologists who study such phenomenon, which leads to skewed results.
  309. It is necessary that the child sexuality be studied holistically, in a multidisciplinary way.
  310. Few people want to study the “normal”.
  311. Without studying the normal, it is not possible to study the pathological correctly, because the frontier between them isn’t clear.
  312. The fact that certain cultures marry their children early does not indicate that children in such cultures are precocious.
  313. Menstruation comes sooner or later depending on the location: the Swedish menstruates later than the Egyptian.
  314. This is due to climatic or biological factors of each ethnicity.
  315. Some people see in our association between love and the season of spring an evidence that humans prefer to procreate in specific seasons, as if humans could go in heat.
  316. Since immorality is more visible in the city than in the countryside, we have the sensation that people in the country are more chaste, but that’s not true.
  317. Some boys lose their virginity very early in the countryside (reminder: the book is from 1912).
  318. Some have some sexual initiation at age four.
  319. In fact, the countryside may be more immoral than the city.
  320. We all have the tendency to consider the morals of “old times” better than the contemporary ones, and we blame our times for the “moral degeneration” of youth and childhood.
  321. In fact, this “degeneration” has always occurred, more or less disguised, throughout history, and is therefore not a modern thing.
  322. You just have to remember that laws against child prostitution are fairly recent and that ages of consent didn’t exist for most of human history.
  323. One child can corrupt an entire classroom.
  324. A talent does not develop without opportunity: if you have the talent to play the guitar, you will never realize that you have such talent if you never see a guitar.
  325. A child can be seduced by another child or by an adult.
  326. Some people recall feeling turned on during physical education class.
  327. Arousal can also occur because of specific clothing.
  328. It can also happen because of vibration: some men have their first erections during a car trip over rocky terrain.
  329. Some boys may have erections when they play fighting.
  330. Sometimes, it’s the feeling of arousal induced by wrestling that leads the boy to be a professional wrestler in adult life: it is a great excuse to rub on someone.
  331. There is no solid empirical foundation that proves, once and for all, that aphrodisiac foods work on kids.
  332. However, if a person has felt sexual desire at least once, they are susceptible to the sexual disinhibition provided by alcohol.
  333. Alcohol can lead to regrettable libidinous acts.
  334. One must remember that alcohol consumption may or may not cause these problems and there are people who enjoy alcohol, but are not sexually voracious.
  335. Children should not consume alcohol.
  336. The child can focus on two things at the same time: in their play and in what the adults are talking in the same room to each other.
  337. Thus, the adult conversation can lead the boy to adopt certain behaviors, since he understands what they are saying or even implying.
  338. An adult can then inculcate sexual behavior in a child without seducing him through the conversations he has with other adults in the presence of the child.
  339. The child can understand sexual innuendo.
  340. On the other hand, parents do not always understand the figurative language that children use.
  341. It is possible to learn about sex by observing animals.
  342. Good sex education can not be done without the diagnosis of the sexuality of local youth, just as there is no medical treatment without the person’s diagnosis.
  343. This is difficult because many people hide details of their sex life, especially children and adolescents.
  344. The younger the girl, the harder it is for her to hide her feelings for someone else.
  345. The association between such feelings and “immorality” is artificial: the boy slowly learns that there are things he should not do to others.
  346. Discreet means of masturbating (“innocently” pressing the genitals on the arm of the sofa or the back of the chair) are useful to achieve orgasm in the presence of several distracted people, who are not paying attention to what the person is actually doing.
  347. This is not to say that everything the child does is sexual or that we should pay attention to all of their “suspicious” movements.
  348. That’s because, typically, this kind of activity is done in secret: if the child is fond of self-pleasure, you probably will not see them doing it.
  349. There are no “symptoms” of masturbation: unless you see your boy doing it, there’s no way to tell whether he does it or not.
  350. If the girl prefers to tell her secrets to others instead of the parents, these parents are doing an awful job at getting their child’s trust.
  351. If the boy does not feel that his sex life interests his parents or feel that such a life is worthy of repression, he will hide it from his parents.
  352. This also hampers research on child sexuality.
  353. Some parents are so shy about the sexuality of their children that they choose not to hygienize the genitals of the children under their care.
  354. If the mother does not devote herself to the child with the highest priority, she is a bad mother.
  355. Bad mothers pay nannies to take care of the kids and go party.
  356. A child can appear to be religious just because the loved one also goes to church.
  357. Parents ignore their son’s sexual knowledge and are surprised to learn how much the child knows about sex “without anyone having taught it to them.”
  358. An erection is not always sexual.
  359. While dating may be legitimate, it is often imitation of adult behavior.
  360. Depending on what the girl sees on a daily basis, she may want to be a prostitute (reminder: the book was written in 1912).
  361. Pay attention to your child’s friends.
  362. Other reasons to act romantically without romantic inspiration is to boast romantic skills to classmates: “Look, I have a girlfriend and you do not!”
  363. This makes the boy feel more masculine, but such behavior does not have sexual motivation.
  364. The child does not distinguish between different types of love, as we adults do.
  365. Children feel more jealous than adults.
  366. Abnormal sexuality produces observable signs, but such signs may be harmless: having a diaper fetish is not normal (that is, common), but there is no need for me to worry about it if it does no harm to anyone.
  367. In the old days, it was believed that various evils were rooted in masturbation and there were people capitalizing on this moral panic to sell miraculous cures.
  368. Occasional masturbation is safer than sex.
  369. Masturbation is not a bad thing if you can avoid excess.
  370. Child masturbation is rarely a bad thing: you don’t have to freak out over your kid touching themselves.
  371. The full development of the genitals is facilitated by their use.
  372. If masturbation was bad, there should be a lot of terminally ill people, since only rare exceptional people never masturbate in life.
  373. There is no proof that people who do not masturbate grow healthier .
  374. People who do not masturbate can end up as sick as those who masturbate.
  375. That is, from a strictly clinical point of view, there is no advantage in not masturbating.
  376. A person who does not masturbate may have abnormally low sexual desire.
  377. The problem with infant masturbation is its ease: if it becomes something done very often, the guri may start to get caught up in public.
  378. Excess masturbation may desensitize the subject to weaker sexual stimuli.
  379. Masturbation will not turn you into a homosexual.
  380. It’s easier for masturbation to tire you than to turn you into a moron.
  381. Excessive masturbation is a relative concept.
  382. “Excess” varies from person to person.
  383. A child who masturbates frequently can grow perfectly normal.
  384. The social reaction to the act can cause a trauma: if you catch your mother for picking up your business, the one who is traumatizing you is your mother.
  385. Popular literature , with little scientific , feeds the moral panic.
  386. Moral rejection of masturbation can cause problems: you become stressed by resisting impulse because you are dissatisfied, then depressed when you give in because you feel guilty.
  387. This is secondary victimization: it is not the act that does evil, but how you react to it.
  388. A study is impartial only if the author is impartial .
  389. Not all masturbation leads to orgasm.
  390. If masturbation does harm to someone, it may be because that person already has some negative condition that masturbation only aggravates.
  391. For example, the subject may have a congenital condition that makes masturbation bad for him.
  392. Hypnosis depends on attention, so it does not work well in children who are easily distracted.
  393. The separation between child and loved one can lead to drastic attitudes on the part of the child .
  394. Some children who do not accept separation commit suicide.
  395. There are children who literally kill each other out of jealousy when they feel that their parents love another child.
  396. Childhood suicide is abnormal.
  397. Children’s sexual experiences may well be innocuous.
  398. Biased questioning produces skewed responses.
  399. The interpretation of dreams suggested by Freud can be stuck: symbolism is easily accused of being arbitrary.
  400. Children get sexually transmitted diseases as well.
  401. In the old days, a Parisian teenager who sought treatment for gonorrhea was “proud” to receive such treatment because he could prove that he had sex with someone, that is, he could prove that he was more masculine than his virgin friends.
  402. Not that this was a good thing.
  403. If the child or teenager gets such a disease today, he hides it , for fear of what parents will think.
  404. Infection with a sexually transmitted disease occurs more often with adult partners, but it is possible for one child to infect another.
  405. The social danger implicit in such relationships is greater than the already considerable health risk.
  406. There is no solid argument to prove that masturbation is immoral (a passionate speech against masturbation is not an argument).
  407. There is an argument in favor of the morality of masturbation: if you are horny and your wife can not satisfy you, it is better to masturbate than to cheat on her.
  408. Plus: if you are sick with a sexually transmitted disease and you have no way to ensure that such transmission will not occur, you can satisfy yourself through masturbation, because keeping secret about your illness just to get laid sure is immoral.
  409. Plus: if you have an unacceptable sexual desire, it is better to masturbate with the fantasy of the desired person than to actually seek sex with them (this is the case of pedophilia: better paw off to an imaginary child than to a real one).
  410. The only valid argument against the morality of masturbation is the religious one: orgasm is to be felt by married people, only as consequence of attempted reproduction.
  411. The religious sexual taboos are só present in society that even atheists would have a hard time arguing against them without feeling guilty.
  412. An illogical argument is difficult to refute with logic.
  413. If you masturbate often, you don’t need a woman for sex.
  414. Masturbation is more reprehensible in societies that push the idea that men and women need each other.
  415. Precocious relationships are more reprehensible in societies that value the virginity of the girl.
  416. The boy can be seduced by an adult woman.
  417. Seduction is more common among children than actual attempts at libidinous acts.
  418. Sexual contact between children occurs more easily between two boys than between two girls or two children of opposite sexes.
  419. A certain boy discovered that the stigma of prostitution could be used in his favor: the parents of some girls who did sexual favors for the boy in exchange for money or candy did not report the incident because there would be publicity and everyone would know that their daughters were willing to do something sexual in exchange for material goods, resulting in great shame to parents (reminder: this book was written in 1912).
  420. Because of that, the boy kept going on and on for a long time, without the incident being reported to authorities.
  421. The case was only discovered because the brother of one of the girls found out about it and told everyone.
  422. If it was up to the girls’ parents, it would have never been found out.
  423. Such thing is more common than you think.
  424. A precocious child initiates others into their behavior.
  425. A child who sees a scandalous headline about a sex crime… may want to mimic the behavior shown in the headline.
  426. A girl can also learn from these news stories that she can gain notoriety by being a victim.
  427. She may then pretend to have been victimized if she wants such a notoriety.
  428. This is not to say that the child who accuses someone of sexual abuse is necessarily lying!
  429. Children watch you, especially girls.
  430. Erotic thoughts can take away the focus during boring classes.
  431. On the other hand, if the beloved is a classmate, the student will want to go to school and maybe one will learn from the other.
  432. Love teaches altruism.
  433. A boy can be a different person when being watched by a girl.
  434. Some homosexuals, seeking relief from the pressure to marry and have children with a woman, become priests.
  435. A hair fetish can lead the subject to work with hair.
  436. A fetish also determines what the person likes to read.
  437. The child who enjoys a spanking will want a spanking.
  438. This was Rousseau’s case.
  439. Children seek relief from sexual curiosity also in encyclopedias.
  440. Sexual curiosity may not be motivated by lust.
  441. What the adult sees as immoral may not be immoral to the child.
  442. The child searches for sexual information out there because this information is rarely provided by parents.
  443. Do not interpret a child’s experience according to your own judgment.
  444. The boy without experience or sex education will be alarmed when he has his first ejaculation.
  445. Child sexuality also manifests itself through art.
  446. Some authors have said that early feelings of love are a sign of intellectual talent.
  447. The arousal of the sexual impulse may occur, in some abnormal cases, after the age of twenty.
  448. This is not to say that the man is virtuous or has moral advantage over others, but only that his sexuality did not wake up at the correct time, which is not normal.
  449. Abstaining from sex for a moral reason is different from abstaining from sex because of asexuality.
  450. It can not be said that an abstinent eunuch is virtuous; he abstains because he has lost the balls, not because of virtue.
  451. A person can go through puberty and not awake sexual desire (again, that’s not normal).
  452. Many people break habits, but some habits break people (when your addiction simply vanishes, without you doing anything in particular to overcome it).
  453. Premature development and retarded development are both harmful.
  454. There are non-pedophiles who have sex with children.
  455. There are several reasons that lead a person to be have sex with a child and pedophilia is just one of them: other reasons are dementia, senility, substance abuse (like alcohol), among others.
  456. For example, in the case of a nymphomaniac: it doesn’t matter if the subject is a child, adult, man, woman or animal.
  457. If pedophilia is a preferential attraction to children, unless you like children more than you like adults, you are not a pedophile.
  458. There are external reasons: in addition to using alcohol, a sexually frustrated person may feel tempted by a child if he or she is sleeping in the same bed as one, if the parents are not around or if the only prostitutes available are small girls (usually instigated by parents).
  459. That’s not pedophilia, as you are being compelled to have sex with children by external causes (substance use or lack of preferential parters, that is, no adults around).
  460. If the desire for adults is stronger or more frequent, the subject is not a pedophile.
  461. All this is facilitated if the adult has authority over the child (in incestuous settings, for example).
  462. Pedophilia, the attraction to children (prepubescent), is rarer than other forms of attraction to minors (such as hebephilia and ephebophilia).
  463. A minor-attracted person might feel some attraction to adults as well.
  464. Pedophilia is not an exclusively male phenomenon.
  465. The minor-attracted woman usually seeks jobs such as teacher, nanny
  466. A desire for children may show up when the subject explores their sexuality for the first time.
  467. Innocence is attractive, so much so that some women use childish gestures, expressions and looks to seduce some men.
  468. Most relationships between adult and minor involve no carnal conjunction (penetration).
  469. Many pedophiles, especially those most attuned to morals, are content to see attractive children without touching them or even talking to them, looking from a distance if necessary.
  470. A pedophile who is content only to see children or touch them superficially (by hugging them, for example) can be a perfectly normal person and live a perfectly normal life, within the law.
  471. Others gratify themselves by touching the child in a sexual manner, not because they want to cause them pain, but because pedophiles are turned on by turning kids on.
  472. This is because the child’s sexual response gives pleasure to the pedophile.
  473. There are women who sexually assault boys or seduce them, in hopes of getting laid.
  474. There are pedophiles who are fine with just fantasizing during solitary masturbation, seeking nothing beyond that.
  475. Finally, there are subjects who are not attracted to the child’s pleasure and are satisfied regardless of whether the child is interested or not.
  476. In this latter case, the child is a mere object, which is used and then discarded.
  477. Historically, Latin America was one of the largest producers of child pornography in the world.
  478. Often, the child who has a sexual relationship with an adult does not suffer because of such relationship .
  479. The main concern that people have when hear about “peaceful” relationships between adults and minors is: “How does this affect the child from a moral standpoint?”
  480. Because many of these contacts are harmless or even pleasurable, those involved may think that what they are doing is not a crime (many people don’t know what an age of consent even is, let alone how high it can be in their territory).
  481. Even if the contact is peaceful, the girl may be stigmatized by her peers.
  482. The stigma, once internalized, produces further moral decay.
  483. Even when the relationship is voluntary, there is a risk of unwanted pregnancy at an age when the child or adolescent is still in school.
  484. There is also the risk of contracting sexually transmitted disease.
  485. The body of a child infected with a sexually transmitted disease makes it very clear that a crime has occurred.
  486. Some infected people believe in the superstition that sex with a virgin cures diseases.
  487. For some, intergenerational sexual contact can turn the child into a homosexual.
  488. Some children attempt to seduce adults.
  489. This is not to say that the adult should accept advances from the little ones: in any case, he is the responsible party.
  490. This is also not to say that the adults never seduce children.
  491. Did you know that there are parents who prostitute their daughter and then extort the guy who had sex with her (by blackmailing him)?
  492. Such blackmail can also be done by corrupt people in the judiciary, who accept monthly bribes to not prosecute a person who had sex with a child.
  493. False accusations are also a problem that gravitates this issue, that is, how profitable it can be to accuse a person of child sexual abuse.
  494. A false accusation of sexual assault can be made for revenge (reminder: the book was written in 1912).
  495. Give candy to a child and you will be reported.
  496. The public opinion is so bad regarding accusations of molestation that the testimony of professionals have no value, if their reports prove that the sex didn’t happen.
  497. If the subject is to be judged by the people in the court, it makes no sense to show proof that the sex didn’t happen.
  498. A false accusation can be accepted without evidence.
  499. If you do not want to be falsely accused of rape, you should stay away from anyone who could make such a charge.
  500. Relationships between adult and minor occur everywhere, not just in the industrialized world.
  501. The minor-attracted person who acquires a mental or cerebral problem after discovering their attraction may have their self-control impaired by the second condition.
  502. This explains the stereotype of the pedophile as an old man: the minor-attracted person who feels the attraction throughout their life can have their self-control impaired by senility or other problems typical of old age.
  503. The judge is not a mental health professional.
  504. If there is a large volume of child sexual abuse accusations coming from the same institution, a false accusation scheme is likely being employed.
  505. Minor-attracted people may be tempted look for jobs that involve caring for children because they like children and believe they will be able to control themselves.
  506. Others like children very much, but only after they start working with kids do they realize that their affection is sexual.
  507. The field of education, dominated by women, is full of cases of statutory rape.
  508. Being attracted to minors does not indicate that the urge is uncontrollable; analogically, being heterosexual will not make you pounce every lady.
  509. It follows that the minor-attracted person can not use his attraction as a reason to soften a sentence he may have received, except in case of comorbidity that impairs his self-control.
  510. Many pedophiles are great people and their pedophilia is their only tragic failure.
  511. A pedophile can have morals.
  512. It follows that pedophilia does not make the person immoral or intellectually defective, depending on how they deal with their attraction and depending on their ability to stay law-abiding.
  513. Teachers used to find any excuse to whip students, back when physical punishment was allowed in schools, because it made them horny.
  514. Bad child behavior does not justify various punishments to which a child may be subjected by his parents.
  515. In the past, rigid but, indeed, sadistic, teachers would put ads on the newspaper saying they were willing to discipline students (nevermind actually teaching something).
  516. Masochists used to look for those ads in particular to find partners.
  517. A person could see if the ad was about sexual discipline if it carried certain euphemisms (“severe” or “conservative” discipline).
  518. That was how masochists accurately told real teachers apart from sadists they could engage with: a real teacher would have no need for such adjectives.
  519. Isn’t it weird that a teacher would write an ad to say that he teaches “for free”?
  520. Why would a teacher only accept boys (or only accept girls) as pupils?
  521. Eugenics was an area of sociology back in the twenties.
  522. Grooms should ask the opinion of their doctors before getting married.
  523. Education is not perfect, but it is not useless.
  524. Rousseau’s Emilio is flawed for not considering the effects of external influences on the child’s education, not going beyond saying that “society corrupts the child” and that the child should stay away from the vices of the people.
  525. He speaks as if the boy would never have to socialize: socialization is unavoidable.
  526. It is not possible to remove from the child’s life everything that can make the child excited.
  527. If you want to force your girl to grow up without desire, you will eventually have to isolate her even from the opposite sex, which can have peculiar consequences
  528. For example, in boarding schools, the kid’s dormitory is separated from the dormitory of the opposite sex.
  529. Do you really think that those randy boys wouldn’t experiment with each other at least once?
  530. Take TV and Internet away from the girl too, so she does not learn about kissing (you might want to stop kissing your children too).
  531. It is impossible to eliminate all the stimuli to your child’s sexuality.
  532. Trying an utopian education that keeps the boy innocent until he is eighteen implies forbidding socialization, which is not healthy.
  533. If one child has discovered a way to feel pleasure while riding a bicycle, you can not, for this reason, conclude that bicycles should be illegal or that children should not learn how to ride one.
  534. Reason and willpower are not always effective against emotions.
  535. This is especially true in children.
  536. It is easier to teach a child by being a role model.
  537. So if you tell your daughter to not act libidously, but you act libidously all the time, she will pay more attention to what you do, not to what you say.
  538. Morality depends on culture: what is moral here and now might be immoral in the future or in another place.
  539. Sexual education should take this into account, which doesn’t imply teaching that the child should follow the example of other cultures if our culture condemns certain sexual customs.
  540. It is only possible to feel shame if there is morals or customs, that is, the feeling of shame is typical of communities.
  541. Note, however, that shame is not morality: if you do something “bad” in a place where everyone does that “bad” thing, you won’t feel ashamed, because nobody is judging you.
  542. Shame comes from the violation of a real custom (how people actually act) and not of an ideal custom (how people should act).
  543. Shame and disgust are innate emotions or are they learned?
  544. We have an inborn tendency to feel shame and disgust, but the objects that cause such sensations depend on culture.
  545. When a sensation produces a physical response, that response is culturally associated with that sensation: if you blush, we tend to think that something embarrassed you.
  546. Because some objects cause physical responses that are associated with disgust, different cultures might have common objects regarded as disgusting.
  547. Shame is uncommon in children.
  548. Shame and disgust can be unlearned (at least in relation to certain things).
  549. Excessive repetition desensitizes.
  550. If nudity is inappropriate in certain situations, teach this to your boy, but do not teach him that nudity is immoral in itself, or he will not want to bathe.
  551. Sex is inappropriate only in certain situations: whoever learns that “sex is immoral” will suffer in adulthood.
  552. If sex was bad, childbirth would be a mistake.
  553. Do not teach your child to be a hypocrite (see note 537).
  554. If the child asks the reason behind a prohibition, say “you will understand when you are older.”
  555. If you insist with the daughter that “poop is ugly,” instead of teaching her that “poop is okay to do in the bathroom and you should ask permission to go when you feel like you want to poop,” the girl will try to hold it in until she feels like she can’t hold it anymore (she may have an accident or even get constipated, which can cause damage and illness).
  556. Learning that “a good woman is pure” makes some women, never enjoy a relationship: they constantly feel as if they were doing something dirty.
  557. Nothing wrong with kids seeing nudity in artistic works.
  558. Asking for a ban on nude art is stupid.
  559. If something is bad for a number of children, this is no reason to deprive everyone of coming into contact with that thing.
  560. Usually children do not care about nudity.
  561. Children who feel that nudity is wrong have learned such, as the shame towards nudity is not innate.
  562. The stylistic tendencies that govern the creation of clothes are an indicator of how restrictive the morality of a given culture is: you can guess how conservative a place is if you pay attention to the popular clothes.
  563. Purging sexuality from the child’s life requires a revision of the fables and nursery rhymes, as well as restrictions on what the child can and can not read.
  564. Moreover, such methods may fail or be counterproductive.
  565. Contact with romantic material does not cause an accelerated maturation of child sexuality.
  566. The person who fights against obscenity everywhere can only do so if they see obscenity everywhere, which already casts doubt on the person’s very inclinations (if you see a sexual meaning in everything, you are likely a pervert and everything turns you on).
  567. Can the child at least read the newspaper?
  568. A newspaper that frequently has news about sex crimes (real or invented) is sensationalist.
  569. It is possible to fabricate a sexual offense by assuming that the motive for an ordinary crime was sexual.
  570. Before the Internet, adolescents shared erotic literature at school .
  571. Girls liked to share erotic writings with each other.
  572. Among the writings, there were poems.
  573. While girls liked erotic text, boys would rather have images.
  574. There was a time when porn mags were cheap.
  575. In the old days, if you wanted to know how sexual the youth could be, you just needed to go to a school and see the amount of confiscated obscene material.
  576. Obscene photographs also circulated in public schools that only accepted girls as pupils.
  577. The child may be indifferent to pornography, which may be disgusting rather than exciting: the child must have a certain level of maturity to find pornography interesting.
  578. One of the reasons why boys and girls attended to different schools in the twenties was that teachers feared an early awakening of heterosexuality.
  579. That does not eliminate child sexuality, which then turns to people of the same sex (though experimentation between children hardly means that the child will grow homosexual).
  580. On the other hand, with no same-age girls around, the boy’s sexuality may turn to adult women.
  581. Child sexuality will wake up regardless of the educational model implemented in the school.
  582. When a person feels a sexual desire that society considers wrong, that person may try to hide their unacceptable feelings.
  583. A good way to do this is by publicly condemning what you would like to do (assuming you don’t do it already, but in secret) in order to remove suspicions: this is the case of the activist who says he wants to “end pedophilia”, while having sex with kids himself (“pedocryte”).
  584. Education for abstinence does not always work.
  585. If you try a different style of education, do not let the child know that such a method is experimental.
  586. If the boy already studies too much, do not give him more responsibility: he is already doing a great job.
  587. While it is undeniable that the sexes are different from each other, it is also undeniable that such differences have less relevance in childhood.
  588. Many schools do not teach religious education, despite having a class called “religious education,” which leads us to think what do people teach in that class…
  589. Religious education can be useless as sex education: a child can perform extraordinarily well in church and still masturbate to the point of bleeding.
  590. Abstinence is easy for those who have no sex drive.
  591. Religious education may fail to make the student adopt a specific sexual morality.
  592. In addition, a restrictive sexual morality, when adopted by a person with a strong sexual drive, can cause mental problems, rooted in strong feelings of guilt and desire.
  593. Faced with this, a doctor may feel tempted to advise the patient to masturbate from time to time.
  594. But it is unethical for a physician to advise a patient to do something that the patient considers to be sinful.
  595. Good religious education can improve a person’s life, but it is difficult to find quality religious education today.
  596. Some pastors teach things that are impossible to follow.
  597. Religious education does not consist of mere unrealistic prohibitions, nor does it consist only in learning Bible verses.
  598. Religious education must be sexually honest: sex is not sin.
  599. If religion does not operate internal change for the better, there is something wrong with the person who is guiding you spiritually.
  600. The Holy Bible has several sexual verses and the child who enjoys biblical reading will get in touch with such verses.
  601. If you want your girl to grow up innocent, you have to take the Holy Bible away from her.
  602. The Holy Bible narrates sexual accounts naturally, which causes a conflict in the child’s mind: if the Holy Bible speaks só naturally about sex, why do adults treat sex as if it was a “secret”?
  603. I challenge you to let your child read the Song of Songs or the Prophecy of Ezekiel.
  604. The Holy Bible also often uses analogies between unfaithful behavior and prostitution or fornication (for example, when Israel turned to other gods, the Holy Bible sometimes says that the people were “fornicating after other gods”).
  605. In addition, the Old Testament speaks of polygamy as a positive thing.
  606. It is possible to employ hypnosis to stop loving someone.
  607. Hypnosis can not be used in young children because it is necessary to concentrate.
  608. Psychoanalysis can only be applied in adults.
  609. A sexual experience alone does not cause trauma: it must be interpreted in a certain way in order to acquire traumatogenic potential.
  610. Although Freud made an exemplary contribution to science by putting emphasis on unconscious mental processes, no one can say that everything Freud says is right.
  611. It does not make sense to say that all the mental problems of the person have origin in their sexuality.
  612. Maybe Freud’s treatments were successful because of suggestion: it was not the treatment, but the woman’s faith in the treatment that cured her.
  613. Some personality traits are “contagious”: some latent personality traits can only be activated if the person starts hanging out with someone with that same personality trait, but in an already active state.
  614. A child with bad personal habits can be difficult to identify because, despite his or her habits, he or she may have excellent academic performance and may even be well-behaved publicly.
  615. It follows that a bad habit sometimes is only a social problem only, not a medical one: something can be disgusting, but not unhealthy, nor does it harms your life in anyway.
  616. The child is capable of feelings of love.
  617. There is nothing wrong with teaching the child the functions of the genitals from a biological point of view.
  618. Many adults have had a bad sex education, to the point of not understanding their own organs.
  619. Did you know that not all chicken eggs are fertile?
  620. A child’s sexual knowledge can put an adult to shame.
  621. To illustrate how some adults are sexually clueless: once upon a time, a doctor prescribed a woman to have a surgical rupture of the hymen.
  622. She thought that hymen and ovary were the same thing scheduled a surgical removal of the ovary.
  623. Poor sex education can result in embarrassment in adulthood.
  624. Poor sex education can affect unborn children: imagine being in the womb of a syphilitic mother.
  625. Sex education is necessary for both sexes.
  626. Masturbation can be recommended if the subject has more desire than his partner can satisfy or if the partner is infected with a sexually transmitted disease.
  627. Some people who believe that masturbation is wrong are depressed to the point of suicide for not being able to break the habit.
  628. Some children learn about puberty with other children.
  629. If the child already has sexual knowledge, talking about things like “stork that brings babies” will make the child see you as a liar.
  630. Such lies harm the trust between father and son.
  631. When you were a kid did you believe in fairy tales?
  632. Better to learn about sex with someone more informed and honest than with someone your own age.
  633. The child without sex education may engage in libidinous acts more often than the sexually educated child.
  634. The child should learn that certain sexual expressions are illegal.
  635. A lot of people do not know what an age of consent even is, let alone that Brazil has one, even less that such age is fourteen.
  636. Don’t believe promises that are motivated by passion.
  637. Sexual education is not the same as accumulation of information: if the person knows that it is risky or illegal and despite that, does it anyway, can we say that the person is “educated?”
  638. Sexual education must be manifested through acts that provide the subject’s safety.
  639. Know the past of the person you intend to marry.
  640. No point in having “the talk” after the boy has become an adult: he probably already knows what he needs to know about sex.
  641. The child should receive information about puberty before puberty begins, to avoid the astonishment and allow an objective appreciation of the phenomenon.
  642. The first ejaculation and the menarche are processes of puberty, but they are not the first processes: puberty begins before the capacity of seminal emission and before the menarche.
  643. The onset of sexual desire is more important than the onset of the pubertal process, when one is calculating at what age the child should begin to receive sex education.
  644. Sex education can be taught in school.
  645. This does not mean that sex education can not be given at home.
  646. Sex education can be given by the family and by the state (in the case of the state, through the school).
  647. Sex education can be taught in biology classes.
  648. Although sex education can be given at school, this concerns only its biological side: talking about particular sexual feelings can only be done through individual counseling.
  649. The fact that there are teachers who are close to their students does not invalidate what was said in the previous note, since such teachers are exceptional.
  650. As a rule, teachers can not form bonds of friendship with the whole class.
  651. Because of that, teachers should not be subjected to the duty of hearing students’ sexual concerns.
  652. Therefore, the teacher has no duty to be confident.
  653. The school nurse would better play that role of listener and adviser.
  654. The degree of sexual maturity is measured neither by age nor by external signs of puberty.
  655. Do you really know your son?
  656. Not having sex education is better than having poor sex education.
  657. The mother may be blind to the child’s sexual orientation or mental sexual development.
  658. The mother who does not spend most of the day with her child is the wrong person to give sex education to her child.
  659. If the boy can not entrust his sex life to you, he will entrust it to someone eles.
  660. The father is able to give sex education to the child.
  661. The family doctor, too.
  662. A brother or an older friend too.
  663. If the child does not trust you, they will not believe what you say.
  664. “Do as I say, not as I do” is hypocrisy.
  665. The child is able to identify when an adult is being hypocritical.
  666. When giving sex education to a child, do not assume that the child is lying when they confide you something.
  667. If you do not believe what the girl says, how will she trust you?
  668. If you do not feel able to give sexual enlightenment to an younger person, take them to someone who can give such clarification or point to a more qualified source (“look, little guy, why do not you ask those things to daddy or, dunno, look up some article on Wikipedia?”).
  669. If someone tells you a sexual secret, do not tell the secret to that person’s family.
  670. If your child does not trust you, it’s your fault.
  671. A man can give sex education to a girl, especially if the man is a physician.
  672. The ability to teach sex education doesn’t depend on gender, but on the ability to give instruction.
  673. Sex education does not have to be grotesque or shocking.
  674. If the child asks something, answer honestly.
  675. Most kids don’t see sexuality as something dirty.
  676. A complete sex education can only be given by a person whom the child considers to be reliable.
  677. The occurrence of child masturbation is unlikely to decrease.
  678. One of the goals of sex education is to prevent sexually transmitted diseases.
  679. One of the problems with sex education is that many who seek to be tutors in this area have not had sex education themselves.
  680. There is no scientific consensus on certain sexual topics.
  681. Several parents see no problem in having a sexually precocious child.
  682. If you can not have sex ten times a day, you’re not sick.
  683. If someone says that they can have ten orgasms in a row, they are likely lying.
  684. Do not have high hopes for marriage.
  685. A boy who likes to masturbate and knows that he will be grounded (be sent to his room) if he commits a mischief, may resort to mischief in order to have privacy.
  686. Some people masturbate just because they are bored.
  687. The child should not wear tight clothing, but loose and comfortable clothing.
  688. Bowel problems (worms, for example) can cause involuntary contractions which, in turn, may cause sexual arousal (the author of this book is trying really hard now).
  689. In addition, some worms give rectal itching and the child will want to scratch there.
  690. The existence of prostitution has social and economic causes.
  691. Corporal punishment may wake masochistic tendencies (or sadistic tendencies, if the child is watching another being punished).
  692. If the boy knows what sadism is, he may have the bright idea of ​​reporting his own mother for sexual abuse, as well as physical abuse, if he receives a spanking from her.
  693. If the news or the government bad-mouth the current state of public education, students might stop taking education seriously.
  694. Religious institutions are incapable of providing sexual purity.
  695. There’s a lot of crazy pastors.
  696. There’s a lot of sadistic women.
  697. Spanking is the most common originating process found in people with masochistic disposition, but perhaps because it is the most common form of child corporal punishment or because the spanking position (laying on the knees) causes genital pressure.
  698. The least offensive form of corporal punishment is slapping the child’s hand.
  699. But this does not make such slapping (or any other form of inflicting pain) a safe form of punishment, since any punishment can awaken a latent masochistic tendency, if the child happens to have it.
  700. Watching others get punished may wake sadistic tendencies up.
  701. The woman who participates in military service learns lessons that will be useful in several areas of her life.
  702. Parents are educators too.
  703. The mother who works outside ends up neglecting her son.

6 de maio de 2019

What I learned by reading “What if the Child Appears to Enjoy It?”

Filed under: Saúde e bem-estar — Tags:, , , , — Yurinho @ 09:22

What if the Child Appears to Enjoy It? Moral Attitudes Toward Adult-Child Sex Among Men With and Without Pedohebephilia” was written by Sara Jahnke, Sabine Schmitt and Agustín Malón. Below, what I learned by reading this text.

  1. The aim of the study is to verify how minor-attracted people and people who are not attracted to minors judge, from a moral point of view, sexual contacts between adult and child in which the child does not suffer direct physical or mental damage as a result of the experience .
  2. To attain such goal, 120 minor-attracted people and 89 others were interviewed.
  3. According to the study, in the sample analyzed, 7.5% of minor-attracted people are as permissive or even less permissive than subjects who do not have such attraction, in regards to sexual situations between adult and minor, even when not there is damage attributable to the experience.
  4. On the other hand, 4.5% of subjects who do not have such attraction can be as permissive as a pro-consent minor-attracted person.
  5. Both groups agree that even if the experience does not cause direct harm, there is a real risk that the child will suffer secondary stigmatization .
  6. About 4% of the German population has pedophilia (attraction to prepubescents) or hebephilia (attraction to pubescents).
  7. The views that minor-attracted people hold about relationships between adults and minors are usually addressed with a clinical bias (as a “justification” for their feelings or actions) or forensic bias (as a “risk factor”).
  8. But neither bias takes those views seriously, which leads to a distorted interpretation of what goes on in the subject’s head.
  9. For most minorattracted people, the ideal relationship is summed as “caring adult finds a consenting child.”
  10. So to appraise their opinions impartially, the authors wrote a questionnaire to be applied to minor-attracted populations in order to know their moral opinion of such ideal relationships.
  11. The questionnaire was applied over the Internet.
  12. There are researchers who say that pedophilia and hebephilia are sexual orientations .
  13. The proposal to include hebephilia in the DSM-V (as a disorder) failed .
  14. The term “child” is used throughout the text to designate anyone under the age of fourteen.
  15. When a minor-attracted person is interviewed by a person from the clinical field, his or her opinion is studied according to the cognitive distortion framework: unless the pedophile thinks like everyone eles, he is lying to himself or attempting to justify his desires.
  16. So part of the treatment for pedophilia would be to change the subject’s opinion and make him think like the rest of society.
  17. Questionnaires to measure the degree of “distortion” of a particular subject are flawed because they are based on the moral assumption that all contacts between adult and minor are violent regardless of the nature of the act, even in absence of actual violence.
  18. Since most minor-attracted people do not really support violence against children, those questionnaries end up being useless: a pedophile can say “forcing a child to have sex is bad” because that is what the questionnaire asks, but the questionnaire does not ask “what if the child is not being forced?” or “do you agree that it’s bad even if the child enjoys it?”.
  19. Thus it is not possible to measure a person’s opinion on adult-to-minor relationships from the assumption that all such contacts are violent, because such questionnaires only ask for one side of the opinion, not the whole opinion.
  20. Pedophiles often don’t have our same concept of “rape”: for them, something is rape only if the contact was forced.
  21. That means that pedophiles generally don’t believe, as society believes, in ” consensual rape.”
  22. So if you happen to find a pedophile and ask him “don’t you think that raping kids is wrong?”, he’ll probably say “of course it is wrong!”, because the word “rape” is invokes the idea that the contact was unwilling.
  23. If this consensual adult/child sex was legal, pedophiles would still be against child sexual abuse.
  24. This study aims to fix this: one must access the whole view, not just one side of it; it is necessary to know what pedophiles think of non-violent relationships between adult and minor.
  25. A good questionnaire would be one that gives arguments both for and against this type of relationship, with a scale that measures how much the subject agrees with each argument.
  26. This is useful because it probes the person’s opinion on a moral level and because morals is what guides most of our voluntary actions.
  27. Nevertheless, it is necessary to remember that attitude and behavior are different things: you can say that you will not do it, but can you stand against temptation?
  28. Most people reject adult-child relationships, with or without violence.
  29. Among clinicians and researchers, the reasons for rejection are:
    1. Inherent damage.
    2. Secondary victimization.
    3. Children’s inability to issue informed consent.
    4. Inherent exploitation.
    5. Children’s inability to understand the sexual nature of the act.
  30. None of those arguments is safe from criticism.
  31. In addition, although this is the consensus of the majority when the subject is pre-pubertal , this consensus becomes more and more disputed when it comes to puberty.
  32. On inherent damage: from a statistical point of view, if we separate the negative effect attributed to the relationship from the negative effect from other sources, the damage attributed to the relationship seems smaller or negligible, which suggests that it is not the relationship that causes the damage, but associated variables (presence of force, threats, nature of the libidinous act, whether or not the act was discovered, family reaction, legal or medical intervention, among others).
  33. In addition, there is evidence of relationships that are not only remembered as harmless, but even as beneficial by the minor, even after the minor grows up.

  34. If we want to condemn something because there is a risk of harm, any form of risk should be eliminated, including the risk of trauma that can result from legal reaction to the act.
  35. Secondary victimization: the child can be harmed by the social reaction to the act, even when the act is in itself harmless.
  36. In some cases, the negative reaction is determinant in the appearance of negative symptoms in people who had precocious sexual experiences.
  37. If the child feels guilty or embarrassed, for example, he or she may internalize those feelings in their self-concept, thus developing low self-esteem.
  38. This is called nocebo effect, the opposite of the placebo effect, in which a symptom is attributed to a cause which, alone, would be incapable of generating such a symptom.
  39. Even if the contact is never discovered, the child who grows up in an environment that demonizes that kind of experience will eventually repudiate what happened.
  40. Informed consent: unless the child has enough information to understand what they are getting into, the relationship is immoral.
  41. The child needs to understand the nature of the act and its consequences, before deciding whether or not to participate in such a thing.
  42. For some researchers, this is the only valid argument against adult-child relationships in general: if a child understood the nature of the act and its consequences, its experience is not immoral, as long as it is also consensual.
  43. Sexual exploitation: if the child sees adults as people with authority, kids supposedly would never deny their advances.
  44. This image comes from studies that focus on cases where exploitation occurred.
  45. But there is research that challenges the belief that exploitation is a necessary element in adultminor relationships .
  46. About sexual incompatibility: when an adult and a child do something sexual together, they are looking for different things (the child is supposedly in the pursuit of affection or satisfaction of curiosity, while the adult is looking for pleasure), but such an argument only makes sense if sex is more than mere recreation.
  47. The girl likely isn’t looking for anything explicitly sexual when she gets in contact with an adult, it may even be that she does not even realize that an ongoing sexual relationship is sexual.
  48. Are there any children who desire adults in the same way that adults can desire minors?
  49. This argument rests on the idea that child sexuality and adult sexuality are qualitatively different: if they are not, the argument is destroyed .
  50. In addition, this argument implies the existence of a gray area around puberty, when sexuality is becoming adult.
  51. There is a scientific interest in studying minor-attracted people who aren’t incarcerated.
  52. The authors of the study decided to collect subjects (attracted to minors or not) and to show them these five arguments against adul/child sex, to see how they evaluate those arguments when applied to a hypothetical experience in which there is affection and love, but pain and violence are absent
  53. Between January and March 2016, the study authors recruited subjects through the Internet.
  54. Minor-attracted people were recruited through legal sites where such subjects meet, such as Krumme 13 and Jungsforum .
  55. Among the minor-attracted people, 21% are primarily or exclusively attracted to girls, 64% are primarily or exclusively attracted to boys and 15% do not have such preference.
  56. Among those attracted to adults, 88% are heterosexual.
  57. All subjects who participated in the study, both those attracted to minors and those attracted to typical subjects, had more education than the average population, although most minor-attracted people had not enrolled college.
  58. Among minor-attracted people, 14% had already been prosecuted for sex crimes involving children, while 20% were under treatment because of the attraction.
  59. The study probed the feelings of minor-attracted people in order to know how often they were interested in “persons with no secondary sexual characteristics” (prepubescent), “persons with maturing secondary sexual characteristics” (pubescent) and “People with mature secondary sexual characteristics” (post-pubescent).
  60. Most minor-attracted people are also attracted to adults.
  61. Participants had to morally judge a hypothetical situation in which a girl between the ages of 10 and 12 engaged in libidinous mutual acts (without carnal conjunction) with an adult who did not force her and who asked her for permission, obtaining such permission without any bribe.
  62. The girl then, at the end of the experience, states that the experience was pleasurable.
  63. Participants had to judge the moral value of such experience according to the criteria of direct harm, indirect harm, validity of consent, presence or absence of exploitation and sexual compatibility.
  64. Most subjects with typical attraction claim that experience, even under such conditions, is harmful.
  65. The opposite has been said by most minor-attracted people.
  66. However, with regard to secondary victimization, both groups voiced similar opinion.
  67. About half of the minor-attracted people stated that the girl was sufficiently informed to participate in the experience, but almost no person with typical attraction shares this view.
  68. Most minor-attracted people did not judge the experience as exploitation, but the opposite is seen in typical subjects.
  69. Finally, more than half of minor-attracted people saw the sexuality of the man and the girl’s sexuality as compatible, whereas the subjects with typical attraction saw their sexuality as too different for true reciprocity.
  70. If a minor-attracted person seeks therapy, starting the discussion by stressing that secondary victimization is a risk would be a good way to find a common ground with which both client and therapist can agree with, allowing a good relationship between the two, at least in the first moment.
  71. Girl lovers had higher adherence rates to the informed consent argument.
  72. No relation was found between permissive attitude and criminal history: the pro-consent will not necessarily break the law.
  73. There are people with typical attraction who are also attracted to minors.

What I learned from reading “Adult-Child Sex and the Limits of Liberal Sexual Morality.”

Filed under: Saúde e bem-estar — Tags:, , , , — Yurinho @ 09:22

Adult-Child Sex and the Limits of Liberal Sexual Morality” was written by Agustin Malón. Below, what I learned by reading his text.

The ban on adult/child sex.

The general ban on sexual relationships between adults and minors is fundamentally derived from prudence: it is not prudent to allow such relationships because of the risk implied. But what if there is no risk in a given situation? To what extent can such experiences be called abuse and to what extent is attraction to minors an illness? For purposes of reflection, adult is anyone who is past adolescence and child is anyone under the line of puberty. Thus, we are talking about prepubescents.

One can argue that the relationship between adult and minor is “disgusting”, but aesthetic judgments are not enough to base moral judgments. And here is the thing: the problem of the relationship between adult and minor is a moral problem, rooted in ethics. Most of the classic scientific research on the intergenerational relationship phenomenon assumes that these experiences are always bad, so the effort is made to prove the damage, not to verify that it actually exists. But other studies, instead of proving the causality between adult/child sexual contact and harm, investigate if such causality actually exists. There’s a tendency to do this kind of study today and the causality can not be always proven by more recent studies.

Yet, scientific evidence alone does not operate legal or political changes. Plus, such evidence doesn’t invalidate de existence of harm. “Ethics” is not a collection of prohibitions, let alone sexual bans. But a prudential ban on adult/child sexual contact, based on the risk of harm, even when such harm is not very prevalent, not always traumatic and differently experienced between the sexes, seems ethically plausible.

The neutral nature of sex in modern day morals.

Sex is not inherently dangerous, but that does not mean that all sex is acceptable. If you engage in a rejected sexual practice, you expose yourself and your partner to the risk of punishment. The current moral paradigm says that sex does not need a moral of its own. Sex is not a special area of ​​human behavior, says our morals. Sex isn’t good or bad in itself, but it becomes bad depending on associated circunstances. One of them is the lack of informed consent (which is free for adults and denied to children). Consent is the first thing that comes up in legal discussions about sexuality. So, consent is more important than the possibility of a behavior being “normal” or “perverse”. The discussion of “good” and “evil” is exhausted in times of moral pluralism. What matters is: the experience must be mutually consented and harmless to all parties involved. Notice that issues such as mutual respect and safety may be present in moral discussions about sexuality, but these issues are not unique to sexuality, being also valid in sports and other human relationships. That being said, there are no moral problems that are unique to sexuality.

Who can be a better judge of a relationship than its participants? The judgment of the relationship belongs to them. We are not supposed to judge the sexual behavior of someone eles, provided that the parties involved claim that it was consensual and there’s no evidence of harm. There are sexual contacts motivated by love (passionate) and others by simple (casual) appetite. If that’s the case, are such participants in love with each other? Do any of the subjects feel like a mere object? Is this kind of relationship hygienic or does it pose any risk to the health of the participants? That’s the kind of question that runs moral discussions on sexuality. And they are down to consent and safety.

If sex is morally neutral, an experience is not good or bad because it is sexual, but because of other elements that are associated with the experience. Remove the negative elements and any sexual relationship will be harmless. Such elements are exploitation (when only one side benefits from the relationship, with the other receiving nothing or even being harmed), coercion (both parties have to accept the relationship while being aware of what it entails) and objectification (when the partner is not seen as a complete human being, but as a sex toy, for example). Thus, rape is not a sex offense, as if sex were morally charged, but a crime of violence, which is always bad, whether it is or not sexual violence. So the problem is not whether something is normal or not, but whether it is permissible (on the grounds of consent and safety) or not. As long as our morals are based only on verifiable damage and consent, two things that can exist in an individual level, the concept of “normal sexuality” is totally irrelevant.

The moral status of adult/child sexual contacts.

Some people find it a waste of time to appraise the moral status of this type of relationship and assume that they are immoral without thinking about it (this was what happened to homosexuality). It’s like saying that adult/child sexual contact is wrong “just because”. If you think that something is immoral, it is important to understand the reasons why you think it’s immoral, or your position will not make sense.

So let’s dare to ask: what makes these relationships “wrong”? While it is prudent to ban these relationships as a rule, there are exceptions to this rule. Here, talking about willing, harmless relationships, not the harmful kind. Of course, harmful or forced relationships will always be reprehensible, but there are relationships between adult and minor that do not harm the minor, who is also not forced to participate. So, if the boy was not forced, coerced, blackmailed or bribed and if he considers the experience to be positive, is this particular case still immoral?


The child has sexuality and innocence is a questionable concept. If the child has sexuality, it is difficult to argue in favor of banning child sexual activity in general. Sexual self-determination is inherent to the person. If it is inherent to the person and if children are people, sexual self-determination is a right of the child. Such right is based on the ability to give or refuse their consent to libidinous acts. The girl is only incapable of informed consent because she does not understand what she is getting into when doing something sexual with an adult.

The “children can’t consent” argument applies only to relationships with adults, but not to minors in relationship with other minors, nor to solitary activity (masturbation). That’s because a complete denial of their consent to sexuality disregards the fact that the child has sexuality, undermining self-determination. To say that the boy has the “right to say no” implies that he has the right to say “yes”, otherwise saying “no” would be a duty and not a right. While the minor needs protection, he can not develop into a fully working adult if he does not have freedom and has no chance of exercising autonomy. That being said, “children can’t consent” isn’t an argument that can be blindly applied to the child’s entire sexual potential. They can consent (or at least should be able to consent) to sexual contacts with same-age peers.

But a problem arises: we only discuss kiddy consent in sexual matters and only to say that they can not consent. Most of the times, minors are forced by the adults in charge of them to do several things. If we coerce the minor to accept something that he does not want only after we make sure that nothing bad will happen because of that, why not do the same with voluntary relationships? Why not prepare the youngling to exercise their sexuality? What is the problem of minimizing the risks that might result, making sure that the experience is safe for a consenting minor (if parents are supervising the relationship in order to intervene when something is going wrong, the risk is minimized)? Because all of those things require information that the minor has no access to.

If the problem of informed consent is lack of information, why not give such information to the minor? What does the child need to know to enter into relationships like those and give “informed” consent to them? In our society, the minor is informed of everything, except sexual matters. If the minor is kept ignorant, he will effectively be kept vulnerable. Do not teach your child to be submissive, do not teach your child to do whatever any adult wants.

Safety and power disparity.

There was a time when attraction for minors was tolerated in Europe, an unacceptable tolerance today. Because this tolerance caused concern, the only way to reverse it was to point out the potential harm that this type of relationship might cause. Generally, the son or daughter can’t give a firm negative to a sexual advance made by the father or mother. That’s because of power imbalance. That means that the boy, if he tries to deny it, can be forced, because he is weaker, ignorant or dependent on parents in particular and adults in general. Because the power disparity is a risk factor, simple consent (willingness to participate) is not enough: it’s important to understand the risks implied in order to consent to a risky activity. In the absence of risk, informed consent is not required.

Someone might ask: “why are relationships between adults allowed, then, as power imbalance can be present in adult/adult sexual contacts?” Inequality of force is exceptional in relationships between adults, but it is the norm in relationships between adult and minor, so the argument of inequality is less important in the analysis of relationships between adults. That’s why. But for feminism, inequality of force is normal in “consensual” relationships between men and women too, because men, according to feminism, are more physically and socially privileged, so that women can never consent to men (because, they say, consent needs equality to exist). Even the seduction between men and women can be viewed violence against women, according to these madames. Note that there are feminists who do not think like that.

Arguing about the danger of something is a great way to condemn something without worrying about moral issues. But it is science that says what is dangerous and what is safe. Even if adult/child sexual contact is potentially harmful, scientific evidence shows that this type of relationship is often harmless and mutual between the parties despite the power disparity (Arreola et al, 2008; Arreola et al, 2009; Bauserman & Rind, 1997; Carballo-Diéguez et al, 2011; Condy et al, 1987; Dolezal et al, 2014; Kilpatrick, 1987; Lahtinen et al, 2018; Leahy, 1996; Mulya, 2018; Rind, 2001; Rind, 2016; Rind & Tromovitch, 1997; Rind & Welter, 2013; Rind & Welter, 2016; Rind et al, 1998; Sandfort, 1984; Sandfort, 1987; Tindall, 1978; Ulrich et al, 2005-2006; Wet et al, 2018). The thesis of inherent harm has been rejected even by those who oppose such relationships: to say that adult/child sexual contacts are always negative, always harmful, is no longer an accepted argument, because such argument has already been exhaustively proven to be wrong in literature. Much of the damage can be caused by the social reaction to the act. There are reports of minors who not only deny that any harm has resulted from their relationship with an adult, but also say that that relationship has benefited them. That enables us to question to what extent it’s unsafe to allow such relationships to happen. There are relationships between adult and minor that are not destructive, with some experts saying that such cases should be judged individually, on a case-by-case basis, rather than being all equally outlawed. This turns the tables: we no longer need to prove that harm not always happens, but it is the opponent who has to prove his point about inherent harm. Nonetheless, if a study says that 90% of subjects in a given sample did not experience their childhood sexual contact as negative, readers of the data will prefer to pay attention to the 10% who have suffered.

One might ask how can any percentage of children in a given sample say that their sexual contact with an adult was harmless? When an adult penetrates a child, it’s bound to be painful and perhaps degrading. So, how come? That’s because adults in relationships with children are probably not doing anything “adult” with said children, but limiting themselves to things the child would do to another child. Of course, if you were sexually interested in children as much as you are in adults, that still wouldn’t mean you would do something harmful a child just as you wouldn’t do to an adult. If you, as a man, loves women, that doesn’t mean you would do to any woman something that would hurt her. Why would you?

An objection that can rise from here is that a relationship can only be harmless if it isn’t not forced. Now, if the minor set limits that the adult can not violate, would the adult respect them? Won’t the adult use his power to disregard the child’s boundaries? If I was a child, could I trust a pedophile?

To solve this, we must remember that presence of power, use of power and abuse of power are different things: an adult will not necessarily use his superiority to exploit (use) the minor. An adult can respect the limits imposed by the minor: the fact that he is an adult does not mean that he will impose himself, just like men, who are physically stronger, not always impose their desires upon weaker women, mainly because of love. Thus, power inbalance only becomes a problem if the adult uses it to exploit the minor (same goes for relationships between men and women). So, not all of these relationships can be unanimously considered “exploitation” or “abuse.” Nonetheless, the minor must have the right to deny his consent to adults and to report them in order to defend himself when necessary, just like women do nowadays.

Restrictive morality versus liberal morality.

A restrictive sexual morality only makes sense if sex is “important,” while a liberal sexual morality only makes sense if sex is “just another human behavior.” A liberal sexual morality is not to be confunded with a “leftist” sexual morality: feminism hates pornography. For feminists, pornography is harmful. That is a sexually conservative position taken by a movement associated with the left.

Does sex need a specific morality or can we judge sex according to the moral precepts we already use for all other human behaviors? If it needs a specific morality, consent and safety may not be enough to make a relationship morally okay.

But a problem arises: people who condemn relationships between adults and minors do so inside of a permissive and sensualistic moral framework, but those who approve such relationships also do so with the same framework. That means that the concepts of consent and safety, typical of liberal sexual morality, can be used for and against the emancipation of adult/child sexual contact. The state should take a totally amoral attitude towards sex, assuming that it works with a sexually liberal mindset, looking for actual harm, not for right and wrong. If the inherent damage can not be scientifically proved, there is no reason to forbid all such relationships. If current morality says that sex is morally neutral, but violence is morally negative, so that sex is only reproachable if it is harmful (physically, mentally or socially) or if it’s forced, then such morality can not condemn relationships between adult and child without first evaluating them; it needs to verify the presence of damage or coercion before condemning them. If sex is morally neutral, there is no need to judge sex, but the well-being of the individuals involved and their happiness: if either party is not liking (presumably the child), that’s what we should look at. Thus our sexual morality is incapable of condemning all relationships between adult and minor. “Sex with children is abuse”, then, becomes a disputed statement.

Even if such relationships were acceptable, parents should have the right to prohibit their children from engaging in them, as they do with other activities, if this conflicts with the child’s best interests (no father would let his son get involved in a relationship that said father considers dangerous). That being said, even if we agree that such relationships should be evaluated on a case-by-case basis, the parents must have their say, because they are the closest authority figure to the child and their immediate guardians.

The debate about the morality of these relationships remains open. Our morals have “loopholes” that make relationships between adults and children morally permissible. To prohibit them once and for all, we need to replace our entire moral paradigm regarding sex, that is, to adopt a more restrictive, instead of absolutely liberal, sexual morality.

5 de fevereiro de 2018

To Boris.

I received a comment a while ago, it seems, but it ended up in my spam queue. I don’t usually have to moderate comments. In fact, my configurations were set in order to make all comments available as long as Askimet (WordPress’ spam filter) doesn’t think they are spam. I think that the filter accused it of being spam because of the coarse language employed. Anyway, I decided to play it safe and reply to the comment using a post, rather than approving the comment.

As a matter of contextualization, the comment was posted in my notes about Kilpatrick’s article on child sexual abuse research. The person who posted goes by the name of Boris. I would like to start by saying that I hold no hatred towards outraged readers and the guy does show that the issue is important to him, as it should be. It’s actually good that people still have that feeling that protecting children is important, as it must be. There’s no reason to hate or rage at Boris at all. I’ll reply his comment point-by-point, removing the cursing.

Another person seeming to defend child abuse and using “tolerance” as a mechanism to try and defend it.

By no means. The notes were about an article that offers sincere criticism on child sexual abuse research. The problems cited by the author were: poor definitions, sampling problems and incorrect measures. If we want a better understanding on child sexual abuse, those issues must be addressed. The author went to great lengths to prove her point, reviewing 34 studies on the issue and finding out that only 10 of them can be taken seriously. Isn’t that awful? A researcher who aims to promote child safety must be interested in conducting a correct research. That’s what the article is about. It’s not about tolerance, supposedly to child sexual abuse or pedophilia. In fact, the author reviewed one pro-pedophilia article in her research and was honest in saying that the article also had problems and also couldn’t be taken seriously. That means that she rejected the only study about beneficial effects of adult-child sex.

I have seen a teen done that on YouTube and his life is […] since he showdd his face, because of his defense for child abuse & use of comedy on a very disgusting subject…

I have no idea who that is. Perhaps Amos Yee. But I don’t follow him.

And now you are going to do the same thing as those child rapists on YouTube omnipolitics16 and cart ograph? Who are just a couple of sick & twisted cherry picking faggots who defended child abuse on YouTube?

I know Cart o’Graph because his channel is up. It seems inactive, tho. I hear about Omnipolitics16, but he seems to be gone. A lot of people talk about him and troll him up to this day. But I never saw the figure.

Children can’t consent, it causes harm always since a lot of reasearch proved it, imbalance of power since a child isn’t equal to an adult, it hurts the child at the time as well always, and the pornography is not only disgusting but worse!

The article didn’t touch the problem of informed consent at all. Informed consent is a moral issue and the author is bold in saying that she’s not making philosophy (morals). Because of that, she also completely avoids the power disparity issue and the pornography issue. That’s not the point of her article. The question that she asks is close to the point you are making there: “how reliable is that research?” That’s the issue. She wants to know if that research indeed proves anything. If you wish to have an anecdote, I can be called a “survivor” too, if you want to call it that way, but I wasn’t hurt at the time it happened and don’t feel hurt now. In fact, the acts were entirely non-penetrative and done in a playful context. Also, as I’m Brazilian, the acts couldn’t be prosecuted back then, because our age of consent (14) only became absolute in 2009 with the new rape law. Before 2009, the act would only be prosecuted if the act hurt the child or was forced (rape) or if the parents didn’t approve it (“atentado ao pudor”, something like “corrupting public morals”). When the new rape law went in effect, all sexual acts engaged before age 14 were declared violent by definition. Meaning that statutory rape, here, is punished just as, if not worse than, regular rape, even if the act involves two minors and no adult. That made the judges reluctant to apply sentences. There was also a recent attempt at lowering our age of consent to 12 due to the problem of two minors having sexual contacts (because the law criminalizes “libidinous acts” without explaining the term, so “libidinous” varies from judge to judge, with some convicting a father for kissing their children), but the Protestant lobby stopped the proposal. A study that was conducted in Campinas, Brazil, concludes that (quoting the study now):

Of 575 participants (85% men and 15% transgender), 32% reported childhood sexual experiences with an older partner. Mean age at first experience was 9 years, partners being, on average, 19 years old, and mostly men. […] Only 29% of the participants who had had such childhood sexual experiences considered it abuse; 57% reported liking, 29% being indifferent and only 14% not liking the sexual experience at the time it happened.

Recalled Sexual Experiences in Childhood with Older Partners: A Study of Brazilian Men Who Have Sex with Men and Male-to-Female Transgender Persons

Don’t get me wrong, Boris, I don’t think that child sexual abuse doesn’t happen. But given that, at least in my country, considering only man/boy contacts (plus transgender), sexual contacts in childhood only happen with 32% out of 575 persons, with most of it being recalled as positive, I do think that the hysteria is not proportional to the facts.

Do you not reliese the Statements made by child abuse survivors?

I do. But isn’t “57% report liking” worth being taken into account? If that amount doesn’t suffer with the sexual contact, not even after growing up, there’s no reason to prosecute every time it happens. In my country, the prison system is backed up, overloaded. Mass murders happen often in the jails, mass escapes and rescues also happen very often, it costs us more than the maintenance of schools and public healthcare and we are the leading nation in tax acquisition, most of it ends up in the pockets of corrupt politicians. We have a lot of problems here centered in our Penal Code and corruption issues. The 7th most violent city in the world is in our territory and two kids fooling around with each other may land the parents in jail for up to fifteen years and, if the judge decides to sum the jail time for both fooling around more than once, the parents will easily spend more time in jail than a murderer would. The law is effectively criminalizing too much and the penalties are too high and we are paying the price, both in taxes and public safety.

All the videos, all the everything!

I saw those. But if you are willing to listen to negative experiences, why don’t you look for positive ones and give them also a try? They exist in professional literature, such as qualitative articles, I could give you a list of links.

The proof is everywhere for proving sex with children is inherently wrong!

Then again, the point of the article was to see how much of that proof actually proves anything. It was also not concerned with “right” or “wrong”, but with “harmless” and “harmful”.

Like I said in the beginning, no one should be mad at Boris. He shows sincere worry about children. I’m sure that he didn’t mean any harm by saying those things, which were not offensive in the slightest. In fact, a lot of people should care as much as he does. But I do think that his protection is one-sided. While he cares about the ones who had negative experiences, he seems to feel like decriminalization would harm them all, including the ones who had positive experiences and had to keep them as secret. The recent Finnish Child Victim Survey has some odd data, showing that, while most of the kids indeed enjoyed the experience (a little more than half of them), they didn’t disclose it, often because they didn’t feel that it would do any good or because they felt that the incident was of small importance. If the child values the contact, don’t you think that it would be harmful to break in, make the child go through invasive medical exams to determine if abuse took place, make them answer questions to the police, maybe make them attend to trial, even if the older person (who could also be a minor) isn’t convicted?

I think that people in United States should take a look at how other nations, such as Japan, handle with the situation. A lot of nations likely speak English, even if not as first language, that’s why I like to write in Portuguese and English. But, unfortunately, that acts as an one-way filter: people are expected to know everything about United States, starting with their native language, but I don’t see much of an incentive in Unites States to learn about other nations, how they deal with sexuality, for example, or penal matters. That also makes cultural imperialism much easier. United States, in many senses, could learn a lot from other nations that are better developed, in Europe, for example, with a lot of those places having ages of consent of 14 or 15. Many of those countries are better than United States in many senses, so United States shouldn’t be the referee of all world affairs. Americans should look at how other cultures, with lower ages of consent, manage to be stable, more peaceful and more intelectually advanced with such low ages of consent. Maybe a high age of consent is not a solution for child sexual abuse, but rather a problem. If such law could really stop child sexual abuse, how come the five countries with the highest rates of child sexual abuse have ages of consent ranging from 16 to 18? United States is in the list. Brazil, Japan and Mexico are not. Think about it too.

25 de dezembro de 2017

Psychological damage.

About Psychological Damage

A short reply to Doobious Wolf.

Written by me for the readers of Analecto, in hopes of someone showing this to Doobious Wolf.


Em resposta a Doobious Wolf, tento esclarecer por que temos a sensação de dano intrínsceco à relações sexuais entre adultos e menores. Acontece que relações entre adulto e menor não seguem padrões de resultado, isto é, não terminam todas da mesma forma e que, portanto, é um mito sustentar que todas as crianças que se relacionaram com adultos manifestarão os mesmos sintomas. Em adição, crianças que tiveram essas relações e as descrevem como positivas podem ter uma boa memória convertida em razão de ansiedade pela necessidade de esconder o ocorrido e também pela vergonha que acompanha o ato. No entanto, esse é um fenômeno cultural que não é facilmente observado em sociedades mais liberais como o Brasil ou sociedades indígenas isoladas. Donde decorre que só há dano intrínsceco à relações negativas, mas sintomas negativos podem aparecer em pessoas com experiências positivas porque o meio em que vivem rejeita essas relações (vitimização secundária).


In response to Doobious Wolf, I try to clarify why do we feel that there’s intrinsic harm to sexual relationships between adults and minors. What actually happens is that adult-minor relationships don’t follow outcome patterns, that is, they don’t always have the same effect on the minor and, because of that, it’s a myth that all children who had a relationship with an adult will show the same symptoms. Plus, children who had those relationships and regard them as positive can still have a positive memory turned into a source of anxiety due to the need to hide and due to the shame that comes with the act. However, that’s a cultural phenomenon that isn’t easily observed in Brazil or isolated indigenous societies. From which we draw that there’s intrinsic harm only to negative relationships, but negative symptoms may appear on people with positive experiences because their cultural context rejects those relationships (secondary victimization).

The problem.

In a video in which Doobious Wolf replies to relevant comments that he received, he decides to reply to a comment that inquires him about his opinion on the secondary victimization1 of children who had sexual contacts with adults. In the comment, Warz asks Wolf if psychological damage couldn’t be minimized if society didn’t see sex in general as such a big deal.2 In fact, we have many sexual taboos and Warz asks if the adult-child sex taboo could be the cause of many traumas related to sexual contact between adult and minor.

Doobious Wolf then answers that, even if he agrees that children may have physically harmless sexual contacts with adults, he doesn’t discard the possibility of intrinsic psychological damage.3

Before discussing the issue in depth, the video’s author shows that he is up to discussing the subject in an unbiased manner, rather than immediately rejecting the idea of age of consent abolishment (a point defended by Amos Yee). He even did research in APA’s website, listing a number of symptoms related to child sexual abuse, that is: thumb-sucking, bed-wetting, sleep disturbance, eating disorder, poor school performance, isolation, aggressiveness, alcohol/drug abuse and anxiety. I fully agree with him, that is, that abusive contacts are harmful to the minors. However, knowing that:

  1. A fair number of those contacts do not result in harm, including psychological harm,4 often being recalled as “positive”, and

  2. A number of those contacts is not forced,5

It becomes clear that the word “abuse” or “rape” is being misused, whenever it’s used to describe all sexual contacts engaged before age of consent,6 which is fourteen in Brazil (my home country). What I’m going to try is to offer evidence and arguments against the inherent psychological harm thesis.


When researching long-term effects of sexual contacts involving people below age of consent, it’s important to remember that a symptom isn’t always related to a specific cause. For example: a cough can be a sign of tuberculosis, pneumonia or hay fever.

So, when a child suffers any of the symptoms pointed out by Wolf, the child may be feeling bad for reasons unrelated to the sexual contact, specially if the sexual contact was peaceful and desired, for example, a libidinous, non-penetrative, non-forced, non-reciprocal act.7 Then, a sexual relationship, specially if regarded as positive by the minor, can not be safely assumed as cause of psychological maladjustment in adult life.8 The child may be maladjusted thanks to other childhood problems or even due to problems that only began after the child has become an adult.

When researching effects of sexual abuse, it’s important to look for other causes and to control third variables, such as family environment, psychological stress, bullying, verbal abuse, sexual repression, physical abuse (slipper hits, spanking, belting) and other data that may be relevant.9 A good way to know which variables must be controlled before offering definitive diagnosis is by talking to the minor to see how the minor evaluates the contact, what was the degree of permission given or if the minor started the contact. If the contact has been negative, it’s safer, but not completely safe, to conclude that it’s the cause of maladjustment. To conclude once and for all, it’s needed to ask the minor if the link between maladjustment and contact can be made. In short, the minor should judge the contact, not the therapist.

By not proceeding that way, we risk a wrong diagnosis and, consequently, a wrong treatment, which can cause further problems to the minor.10

Another variable to be considered is the treatment that the minor is receiving for effects. Let’s suppose that a child had a positive sexual contact in childhood, didn’t fight it, welcomed it, to the point of asking for more, but then the child grows up, feels ashamed for his or her behavior, feels that he or she was abused or manipulated. What kind of treatment should that person receive? Susan Clancy suggests that the adult should accept what happened and understand that it’s his or her interpretation of the act that is causing maladjustment and that the adult should leave the incident behind.11 However, Clancy suffered academical and popular persecution, first because there are therapists who work upon the child abuse paradigm, meaning that Clancy’s data could become an economical disturbance, and second because she proposes the acceptance of a socially hideous memory, which wouldn’t be a problem if adult-child sex wasn’t taboo.12

It’s that kind of secondary victimization that Warz is speaking about: the conflict between moral values and personal experience may lead the person to feel immoral for enjoying the “abuse” they suffered, turning a positive experience into source of anxiety. That gives the impression of inherent harm, because that means that negative symptoms can appear both in people with negative experiences and people with positive experiences. But even so, there’s a number of adult-child relationships that are remembered as positive and cause no anxiety even after the minor has grown up.

That leads me to another variable, that is cultural environment. According to Rind Report, 37% of boys and 11% of girls recall their childhood sexual experiences as “positive” (counting the four generic types13 and including child-child contacts),14 but, in a study ran in Campinas, Brazil, that number among boys is 57% (including a single type,15 including only adult-child sex).16 Plus, other cultures who don’t make a big deal about child sexuality, despite being more sexually liberal, aren’t overloaded with traumatized adults,17 with some being pretty peaceful.18 So, we need to evaluate if cultural environment doesn’t play a role in turning positive memories into source of anxiety. That data support Warz’s point, that maybe the taboo (the idea that those contacts are wrong, that all those adults are monsters, that those contacts imply the use of a minor as mere tool for adult satisfaction and other prejudices) plays a role in generating symptoms.

Last, the fact that the number of positive experiences in United States (where are of consent is at least 16) is low, but high in other places (age of consent in Brazil is 14), shows that high ages of consent don‘t keep those contacts from happening,19 but discourages well-meaning adults that could provide a minor of a experience that could even be desired by said minor.20 That’s enough of a rebuttal of the inherent psychological damage to all those contacts, but it’s not a rebuttal of the inherent damage to coerced or negative contacts, which deserve to be called “abuse”.

If we can say that the problem of psychological damage is solved, it’s also needed to pay attention to those symptoms when they spawn on children who were not sexually abused, nor had any sexual contact, even if non-abusive, even with other minors. If we persist in the belief that those symptoms are necessary, at same time that society seems to willingly ignore other possible causes when they start suspecting that abuse took place, we might open the possibility of false accusations of molestation. But truth is that childhood sexual contacts don’t follow outcome patterns21, turning useless any attempt at constructing a fixed list of symptoms to be attributed to every child, specially if the child regards the contact as positive.

The moral panic towards pedophilia is leading us to overprotect our children, causing a rupture between generations: children grow suspicious of adults and adults flee from children. The deprivation of affection between generations harms the minors, who become alienated from adults even in dire situations.22 In the current climate, a false accusation could destroy a person’s life.23 That discourages healthy interaction between adults and minors.


If positive relationships, which result in non-symptomatic adults, who can function just like any other adults, exist, then the inherent psychological damage thesis is false. However, a person with positive memories can have his experience turned into a source of stress thanks to social reaction to the act, causing feelings of shame and also guilt, if the minor has started the contact. But that’s an environment reaction, meaning that the taboo has a role in the development of negative feelings even in people with positive memories.

I propose that people with positive experiences should have their judgment respected, just as much as those who had negative experiences. In fact, if an experience was positive, it’s pointless to discuss damage; we should discuss the extent of the benefit. Stigmatizing a person with positive experiences, to make them feel bad for what happened, is, also, abuse, because the symptoms wouldn’t appear without someone “interpreting” the experience with different criteria. That also explains why more liberal societies have less sexually traumatized adults. A child with positive experiences, in contact with a society that sees those experiences as taboo, start to feel shame and to hide what was done, maybe finding themselves forced to publicly admit that the experience was abusive, despite their own inner judgment saying it was not. That can’t be healthy. A child with a positive experience was supposed to be able to speak out about those experiences without suffering because of it, just as much as those who report their own negative contacts and receive emotional support.

Finally, that shows that age of consent laws are unable to stop those relationships from happening, but discourage minor-attracted people who mean no harm, as well as positive contacts between minors themselves. Age of consent is supposed to measure a minor’s degree of maturity, but how? How come the age of consent varies from country to country? Is it because children mature faster in Japan or Mexico, compared to United States and United Kingdom? If age of consent doesn’t measure maturity, what does it measure? If it’s a legal concept, it doesn’t have to be included in a debate about psychology, unless we are talking about social impact (like I am doing). If there’s no social element, it would be better to discuss “maturity”, rather than age of consent.

Since I don’t have an YouTube account, I can’t personally show this text to Doobious Wolf. So, if you are reading this and has an account, I would be thankful if you could show this to him.


CARBALLO-DIÉGUEZ, A. ; BALAN, I. ; DOLEZAL, C. ; MELLO, M. B. Recalled Sexual Experiences in Childhood with Older Partners: A Study of Brazilian Men Who Have Sex with Men and Male-to-Female Transgender Persons. Available at: <>. Accessed at: 12/25/17.

CLRESEARCHBLOG. Society’s Stigma of the Act May Account for Large Portion of the Harm. Available at: <>. Accessed at: 12/25/17.

D’AGOSTINHO, R. Tribunais Absolvem Acusados De Sexo Com Menor Apesar De Nova Lei. Available at: <>. Accessed at: 12/25/17.

DOOBIOUS WOLF. Comment Response Time! (12/07/17). Available at: <>. Accessed at: 12/25/17.

IACCINO, L. Child Sexual Abuse: Top 5 Countries With The Highest Rates. Available at: <>. Accessed at: 25/12/17.

IPCE. Hysteria is Dangerous: Did Pedophilia Hysteria Cause Child’s Death?, in Ipce Newstletter, n° 30. Available at: <>. Accessed at: 25/12/17.

LEAHY, T. Sex and The Age of Consent: The Ethical Issues, in Social Analysis, n° 39. 1996.

LISBOA, F. S. Resenha do Filme “A Caça”. Available at: <>. Accessed at: 25/12/17.

O’CARROLL, T. Paedophilia: The Radical Case, in Contemporary Social Issues Series, n° 12. Londres: Peter Owen, 1980.

PEDOSEXUAL RESOURCES DIRECTORY. The Sexual Interest of the Pedophile, in Available at: <>. Accessed at: 25/12/17.

PRESCOTT, J. W. Body Pleasure and the Origins of Violence. Available at: <>. Accessed at: 25/12/17.

RIND, B. ; BAUSERMAN, R. ; TROMOVITCH, P. A Meta-Analytic Examination of Assumed Properties of Child Sexual Abuse Using College Samples, in Psychological Bulletin, volume 124, n° 1, pages 22 to 53. American Psychological Association, 1998.

RIVAS, T. Positive Memories: Cases of positive memories of erotic and platonic relationships and contacts of children with adults, as seen from the perspective of the former minor, 3rd Edition. Ipce, 2016.

ZUGER, A. Abusing Not Only Children, but Also Science. Available at: <>. Accessed at: 12/25/17.

1Secondary victimization: a type of psychological damage that isn’t caused by an act per itself, but by environment reaction to the act (in this case, a child who has a sexual relationship with an adult and enjoys what happened, but ends up suffering with parent reaction, with the feeling of shame that is attributed to the act, with the medical exam for detection of abuse signs or by legal intervention). See Paedophilia: the Radical Case. Chapter 3: The ‘Molester’ and His ‘Victim’.

3Comment Response Time! (12/07/17).

4A Meta-Analytic Examination of Assumed Properties of Child Sexual Abuse Using College Samples. Results > self-reported reactions to and effects from CSA.

5Positive Memories: Cases of positive memories of erotic and platonic relationships and contacts of children with adults, as seen from the perspective of the former minor. Boys with women > BW-10 – Vili Fualaau.

6A Meta-Analytic Examination of Assumed Properties of Child Sexual Abuse Using College Samples. Summary and conclusion.

8A Meta-Analytic Examination of Assumed Properties of Child Sexual Abuse Using College Samples. Previous literature review > qualitative literature reviews.

9A Meta-Analytic Examination of Assumed Properties of Child Sexual Abuse Using College Samples. The four assumed properties of CSA revisited > causality.

10Positive Memories: Cases of positive memories of erotic and platonic relationships and contacts of children with adults, as seen from the perspective of the former minor. Boys with men > BM-16 – Chris.

11To be fair, Clancy doesn’t believe that adult-child relationships should be allowed, because, in her view, a child is unable to give informed consent. But others question the very notion of informed consent. See Sex and The Age of Consent: the Ethical Issues.

12‘The Trauma Myth,’ by Susan A. Clancy.

13Boy/man, boy/woman, girl/man, girl/woman.

14A Meta-Analytic Examination of Assumed Properties of Child Sexual Abuse Using College Samples. Results > self-reported reactions to and effects from CSA.


16Recalled Sexual Experiences in Childhood with Older Partners: A Study of Brazilian Men Who Have Sex with Men and Male-to-Female Transgender Persons.

17Paedophilia: the Radical Case. Chapter 2: Children’s Sexuality: What do We Mean?

18Body Pleasure and The Origins of Violence.

19Child Sexual Abuse: Top 5 Countries With the Highest Rates.

20In Brazil, a twelve-year-old girl asked for sex to a twenty-nine-year-old man. The mother reported the incident, but regretted. The adult was declared innocent. See Tribunais Absolvem Acusados De Sexo Com Menor Apesar De Nova Lei.

21A Meta-Analytic Examination of Assumed Properties of Child Sexual Abuse Using College Samples. Child sexual abuse as construct reconsidered.

22Ipce Newstletter #30. Hysteria is Dangerous: Did Pedophilia Hysteria Cause Child’s Death?

23To have an idea of how, see The Hunt (2012). Resenha do Filme “A Caça”.

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